Tag Archives: The University of Texas

Friday, September 25, 2015 – Snarky Friday Football

Posted on September 25, 2015 | 6 comments

Friday, September 25, 2015 – Snarky Friday Football

My weekend teams and Here’s What I’m Thinking about them.

Georgia v Southern @ 11:00 AM on SEC – Sanford Stadium, Athens, Georgia

UGA, UGA, YUKA to 11:00 AM games. One has to start so early to be drunk by that time.

LSU v Syracuse – @ 11:00 on ESPN – Carrier Dome, Syracuse, NY

The Syracuse mascot is an anthropomorphic orange. Who besides me, Dr. Sheldon Cooper and the DeMarsion know the meaning of “anthropomorphic?” The Orange’s name is Otto. Otto the Orange. (Just Google it)

The LSU mascot is a live Tiger. The Tiger’s name is Mike the Tiger.

http://www.mikethetiger.com/pictures.php Mike the Tiger eats oranges like grapes. Otto the Orange – oh I can’t stop laughing.

Northwestern v University of Central Arkansas @ 11:00 AM on ESPN3 @ Turpin Stadium – Natchitoches, La.

Well, one team will have a win in the W column.

Baylor v Rice @ 2:00 on Fox Sports @ McLane Stadium – Waco, TX

Do you have the same scheduler as TCU and Ohio State? You are aware The Committee is watching. So is Larry Culpepper, the Dr. Pepper guy. I think he has the deciding vote.

Ohio State v Western Michigan @ 2:30 on ESPN2 – Ohio Stadium – Columbus, Ohio.

See above about The Committee watching. I am thinking the Buckeyes better buck up and show some points on the scoreboard.

THE University of Texas v Oklahoma State @ 2:30 on ESPN @ DKR Memorial Stadium – Austin, TX.

Cowboys v Longhorns – a clash of the oranges – not Otto – Depends on who shows up.

Alabama v UL Monroe @ 3:00 on SEC – Bryant-Denny Stadium – Tuscaloosa, Alabama.

Pretty sure the Tide is going to roll over the Duck Dynasty. Watch out for the tsunami.

Texas Tech v TCU @ 3:45 on Fox @ Jones AT&T Stadium, Lubbock, Texas

Beware The Wayward Wind. It’s a restless win. Coach Kliff is in an ass-kicking mood and TCU is playing the ghosts of the Southwest Conference.

Vanderbilt v Ole Miss @ 6:00 on ESPNU @ Vaught-Hemingway Stadium , Oxford, MS

Given that William Cutbirth Faulkner is one of my favorite authors and one of the greatest Southern writers in American Literature, it would only be natural that I would selection Faulkner residential writing home of Oxford as the possible winning team; this of course is because in all honesty Vanderbilt should be playing Rice whereas the two academic powerhouses can play on a level playing field.

The above sentence is understood by those who read WCF and English/American Lit Majors.

Mississippi State v Auburn @ 6:30 on ESPN2 @ Jordan-Hare Stadium – Auburn, Alabama

Go Bulldogs. Uncle Will, we are so looking forward to your visit in College Station. We wanted you to know College Station topped the list of most exciting towns in Texas yesterday. Really!

http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/College-Station-named-6524394.php

Texas A&M v Arkansas @ 6:00 on ESPN – @ AT&T Stadium, Arlington, TX

This is the start of SEC play. A&M almost ran out of time last year. Texas Tech has pissed off the Hogs.

In honor of Texas Tech kicking ass last weekend with their hurry up, spread offense, I am proposing that Aggies wear our Ray-Bans to be cool like and in honor of Coach Kliff and the hurry up, spread offense to help remind Arkansas of last week. FYI – Arkansas, the Aggies run a hurry up, spread office and the Aggies have a defense.

Oh yes – here are some special uniforms designs.

http://www.goodbullhunting.com/rcb05/2015/9/23/9379285/aggies-texas-am-special-uniform-arkansas-bielema-photoshop

BTHO Arkansas

6 Comments

Posted in College Football

Tagged Auburn, Baylor, College Station, Kliff Kingsbury, LSU football, Oklahoma State University, TCU, Texas, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Friday, September 18, 2015 – Your Saturday College Game of the Week Football Schedule

Posted on September 18, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, September 18, 2015 – Your Saturday College Game of the Week Football Schedule-

For the third week of college football, here are the games I will be watching. In my ever attempt to enlighten and inform you, here is a schedule and posted on the ESPN App.

Baylor has an open week. The photo is the last lit score board in Floyd Casey Stadium in Waco.

Texas A&M vs Nevada @ 11:00 AM on SECN @ Kyle Field. College Station. Who plays football at 11:00 in the morning? I hate the 11:00 AM games because it is difficult to stay awake for the afternoon games. Reminder: Pick up more vodka and bloody Mary mix.

Auburn vs LSU- @ 2:30 on CBS @ Tiger Stadium. Baton Rouge. Tiger, Tiger burning bright; Please give Muschamp’s defense a fight.

Northwestern State v Mississippi State – @ 3:00 on SECN @ Davis Wade Stadium. Starkville, Mississippi. Be sure to watch for my relative on the Northwestern sidelines. My cousin is the defensive coach. He will be the really good looking one. You know it comes with the family. Let’s go Demons!

Texas Tech v Arkansas @ 6:00 on ESPN2 @ Razorback Stadium. Fayetteville, Arkansas. What goes well with tortillas? Pork.

Oklahoma State v UTSA @ 2:30 on FOX1 @ Boone Pickens Stadium. Stillwater. Go Pokes!

TCU v SMU – @ 7:00 on FSN @ Amon G. Carter Stadium, Fort Worth. Really? Who does your scheduling, TCU? The Pillsbury Dough Boy? How much does strength of schedule count?

Cal v Texas – @ 6:30 on Fox @ DKR Memorial Stadium, Austin, Texas. THE University wanted to play in the Pac 12. Now is your chance to show them what you got.

Ole Miss vs Alabama @ 8:15 on ESPN @ Bryant-Denny Stadium Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Hotty Toddy and Roll Tide.

And now what could happen after last week’s ESPN programming fiasco. Here is the possible ESPN schedule.

If you are watching the Aggie/Nevada game @ 11:00 on the SECN, you will be switched at half time to ESPN3. This allows those of us who do not want to watch and pay for it on our computers to watch the game as it buffers along.

The Auburn /LSU game will be transferred to another ESPN station as soon as ESPN buys out CBS giving it a monopoly on college football. This deal will occur during a critical series with minutes left to play in the game.

At 4:46 the Northwestern/Mississippi State will move to ESPNU ensuring only those who chose to pay for more sports on their cable are able to see the game.

At 3:26 the Oklahoma State/UTSA game will be moved to an ESPN sister station, yet to be available to viewers.

At 4:52 the Northwestern/Mississippi State game will move to ESPN2. This game will run long and the Texas Tech/Arkansas match up will be moved to SECA. I am not sure if cable TV has made it Lubbock or the state of Arkansas.

At 7:15 the Cal/Texas game will move to The Longhorn Network, which probably nobody in California receives.

At 8: 07 the TCU/SMU game will be taken off the air and replaced with the Monmouth vs Wagner game from the Big South Conference.

At half-time with the scored tied between Ole Miss v Alabama, ESPN and the decision-makers there will replace what could be the game that says much about what will happen in the SEC with the Sacramento State vs Weber State game or the Northern Iowa vs Cal Poly game. These are schools that no one cares about unless your child goes there.

I hope your team wins. I hope ESPN does not jerk us around like last weekend and BTHO Nevada!

1 Comment

Posted in College Football

Tagged Alabama, Auburn, College Football; Texas Aggies, Crimson Tide, Ole Miss, Texas A&M, Texas Longhorns, The University of Texas

Wednesday, September 16, 2015 – Don’t Mess With Texas Football

Posted on September 16, 2015 | 1 comment

Wednesday, September 16, 2015 – Don’t Mess With Texas Football

Two comments, a question and prediction.

The Eyes of Texas are no longer upon the AD, Steve Patterson.

It appears “till Gabriel blows his horn” is 22 months.

Are you (as in Texas) going to light The Tower?

You (as in Texas) will never get Nick Sabin.

1 Comment

Posted in College Football

Tagged Alabama, Nick Sabin, Steve Patterson, Texas, Texas Football, The University of Texas

Monday, September 14, 2015 – May I Have The Pigskin Envelope Please?

Posted on September 14, 2015 | 1 comment

Monday, September 14, 2015 – May I Have The Pigskin Envelope Please?

Today we open the Monday after college football awards program with the largest award ever given.

To ESPN – I give the Screaming, Streaming, Scrambling, Where the hell did MY football game go Award? This goes to every programming executive and decision maker for making the worse decisions in the history of college TV football. Your asinine decisions caused fans to bunny hop to networks and stations many people do not receive and pay for streaming on your computer when it was originally on their TV for FREE. I hope your server melts with protests and the appropriate heads roll and get called on the proverbial carpet. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. Unless you want ESPN to stand for Extra Special Pissed Off Network, never do this again.

Since it was Cupcake Week there were many high scoring games. High Scores Awards go to:

Boston College 76 to O over Howard

Ole Miss – 73 to 21 over Fresno State

TCU – 70 to 7 over Stephen F. Austin

Texas Tech 69 to 20 over UTEP

Baylor – 66 to 31 over Lamar

Texas State – 63 to 24 over Prairie View A&M

Note to all: You do know these points do not carry over like your phone minutes? I am thinking Ole Miss, Baylor and TCU, you are going to need some of those points later.

The Defensive Award for the week goes to Uncle Will Muschamp and Auburn. It took Auburn an overtime and luck to beat Jacksonville State that only had a 2% chance of winning. Looking forward to seeing you in College Station in November. Did you know Texas A&M has a new defensive coordinator, Uncle Will? Perhaps you have heard of him – John Chavis?

Worst Uniforms Award goes to TCU. Were the jerseys supposed to look that way or did someone dump a 50 gallon drum of bleach into the laundry?

Worst Helmut Award goes to TCU also. Those looked like one of those sponge paintings on Pinterest done by a kindergarten craft class.

The Slow, Lethargic Start Award is shared between Baylor University and Alabama. Baylor – they are bears. It takes them awhile to get moving, but once they do…get out of the way. It took a bit of time for the Tide to Roll. The Tide appeared to be out as they did not score THAT many points against a cupcake team. I am afraid Alabama started three deep into the roster.

The Welcome Wagon Award goes to Ball State University for scheduling the first game home game in the newly renovated Kyle Field. Yes, the stadium holds more than most rural town populations in Texas.

Atrium at The Bush Library

Ball State also receives the Way to Hang Tough Award and Never Give Up Award. This is awarded even though the Aggies were four deep into their roster and I heard the Navasota Rattlers were about to suit up to finish the game.

The Young Frankenstein Award for It’s Alive! (as in the Big 12) goes to the Sooners of Oklahoma for defeating Tennessee in double OT.

The HEARD It Through the Grapevine Award goes to THE University of Texas at Austin. I think this is what the alumnae what to see. Don’t care if it was Rice. It built confidence. Stay Strong.

The Tumbling Tumbleweeds Award goes to every team who took a tumble in the rankings. Special Awards go to:

Oregon – Duck, Duck, SPARTAN!

The Corporal Maxwell Klinger, Holy Toledo Award goes to Toledo University for for turning Arkansas into bacon bits.

To the Georgia Bulldogs – A win over Vanderbilt and Miss America too!

And a special award goes to the wives and mothers of football players. I am calling this award The Penny Award because her husband played for LSU who defeated Mississippi State in the closing seconds. Next week her son’s team where he coaches, Northwestern State in Natchitoches, plays a really pissed off Bulldog team. Go Demons. And Penny? Go shopping and do not watch.

BTHO of Nevada. Who?

1 Comment

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, Big 12, college football, college football uniforms, ESPN, LSU, SEC, TCU, Texas A&M, The University of Texas

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 – Who Are My College Football Teams and Why

Posted on August 11, 2015 | 6 comments

Tuesday, August 11, 2015 – Who Are My College Football Teams and Why

It did not begin with The Aggies. Until I was about ten years old I thought that that one graduated from high school and then went to LSU.

This is because my first football hero who actually got the beautiful girl too is my cousin, Donnie Daye and his beautiful bride Penny. How many years? 50 at least and you two still look like you could throw the block for Billy Cannon against Ole Miss at Halloween and lead the Tiger Band on the field.

This is Donnie with some of the memorabilia. Donnie was #33 in 1958. When he moved to fullback and started with the White Team, he was #44. His junior year 1959, he led the team in tackles.

Donnie with the 50th Anniversary flag.

I have since added the following teams to My Favorites for these reasons:

Oklahoma State University Great niece # 1 and Niece # 1 – Go Pokes

The ONLY orange color I will wear and it was Halloween.

Great niece # 1 and Niece # 1 – Go Pokes

If you do not know who this is and/or where we are, then you don’t know Oklahoma State football.

Then the Good Old Baylor Line with Courtney – The Longhorn

Baylor - BU UT 2013 - Buckalew Grkids (800x600)

The Cousins in 2013 @ the last game in Floyd Casey Stadium.

The Cousins today – Left to Right – Junior @ Baylor, Begins U of H Law School, next in The Good Old Baylor Line to graduate, begins Masters degree @ Baylor, Gainfully Employed, and The Longhorn. Pic by Blair

Courtney – I wanted you to have a picture too. It was taken from Darryl K Royal Memorial Stadium. It is hard to be around them now that BU is #3, isn’t it? Hook ‘Em!

But it was The Fighting Texas Aggies who made the offer.

From The University of Texas – Welcome – pay here.

From Texas A&M – Howdy. Here is a loan from the Class of 1933, a teaching assistantship, then a research assistantship and a funded dissertation.

The 12th Man – not just about standing at the football games.

And last and of course, least – Texas Tech. See what happens when one doesn’t read Here’s What I’m Thinking, Little Sister.

BTHO

6 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged Baylor University, LSU, NCAA college football, Oklahoma State University, Texas Aggies, Texas Aggies; football, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Tuesday, July 28, 2015 – Crimes Against Uniforms – Adidas Must Be Stopped!

Posted on July 28, 2015 | 2 comments

Tuesday, July 28, 2015 – Crimes Against Uniforms – Adidas Must Be Stopped!

Adidas must be stopped for its crimes against uniforms!

Crimes against uniforms. Not to be confused with crimes against humanity or Cards Against Humanity. Obviously I am not the only person who writes about and dislikes the college uniforms. Take a look at the comments by Roger Sherman from SB Nation about college football and basketball uniforms.

http://www.sbnation.com/college-football/2015/7/24/9031341/adidas-michigan-notre-dame-nebraska-ucla-why-why-why-why-why

“WHY!

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!

WHY MAKE ANYBODY PLAY IN NEON? WHY MAKE NEON CAMO EVER? WHY MAKE SHORTS THAT DON’T MATCH TOPS? WHY MAKE SHORTS THAT ARE CAMO? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY”

I agree Mr. Sherman. Who is in charge of the Adidas color wheel? And what hallucinating drugs are they taking?

I believe no one should wear clothing in colors that one is unable to spell. Is camo really a color? How about chartreuse? Does any player really want to look like a highlighter pen?

I wonder if Stevie P. THE AD, at The University has explored glow in the dark uniforms for the football team. He could save money by turning off the lights in DKR Memorial Stadium.

Now if we could only do something about that blue football field of Boise State. It hurts my eyes and especially if the players are wearing these ugly uniforms.

2 Comments

Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged ADIDAS, college footbal uniforms, college football, SB Nation; Roger Sherman, Steve Patterson, The University of Texas

Friday, July 24, 2015 – Snarky Friday – Football and No Such Thing as a Free Lunch Any More

Posted on July 24, 2015 | 1 comment

Friday, July 24, 2015 – Snarky Friday – Football and No Such Thing as a Free Lunch Any More

So many topics from which to choose to snark about this Friday. We have El Strumpet – aka Tony Soprano – from the Genghis Khan School of Diplomacy on the Texas border. We have Captain Hairspray bully baiting him by calling him a “false prophet.” Did you mean “false profit?” And then we have Gooberner Abbott going after the Legislative Budget Board (LBB). If I recall it is the job and responsibility of the LBB, as defined by statute, is to oversee the budget process. Oh, well, all of that can go on Comedy Central.

In other budget related news, I see where AD Steve Patterson of The University of Texas has issued a new policy that limits the number of visits coaches can make to check upon their players. Under Patterson, coaches are only allowed 30 visits to the dining hall. If coaches exceed the number of visits, they must pay $10 for each visit out of their own pocket. And that does not look like it includes a meal. If a coach wants to dine during any of their visits, it is $19.50 a meal and no credit cards accepted. Cash on the Longhorn barrel head.

Texas claims that it was spending over $300,000 on coach and staff meals at the dining facilities. While $300,000 appears to be a significant amount, Texas took in over $161 million in revenue in 2014. It does not take John Wax math to see that $300,000 is a drop in the checkbook of the alumni that you appear to be angering, Stevie P.

I am having difficulty in understanding the sacrifice of quality coach/player time to save $300,000. The revenue for the Notre Dame game on the Notre Dame Network (NBC) will be greater than $300,000.

But if you are really that concerned about reducing the athletic budget, I am offering some cost saving ideas for your consideration.

Dispense with hotels and camp out at the Cotton Bowl for the Red River Rivalry.
Have some of the campus service organizations prepare sack lunches for the teams as their altruistic projects.
Dim the scoreboard at DKR Memorial Stadium if Texas is behind by more than three touchdowns in the 4th Quarter.
Have the team hitch hike to Waco to McLane Stadium.
Realign the Big 12 so you do not have to go to places like Ames, Iowa or Morgantown, West Virginia.
Sell more beer in Darrell K Royal Memorial Stadium.
Stop courting the Pac 12. With new revelations, you certainly cannot meet their academic standards now.
Sell Boykin for Heisman T-shirts outside Amon G. Carter Stadium in Fort Worth.

Here is my final thought for you Stevie P. I just saw yesterday’s Bleacher Report Preseason Top 25. Yes, meaningless, but still. Instead of concentrating on the number $300,000, I would concentrate on the means of getting The University of Texas back into some of those smaller numbers – like the Top 25. Hook ‘Em Hippies.

Taken from Darrel K. Royal Memorial Stadium. Photo by me.