Here's What I'm Thinking

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 – Possible Side Effects and The Nine Dwarfs.

Posted on September 13, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 – Possible Side Effects and The Nine Dwarfs.

After laughing so hard last night watching Dancing with the Stars (DWTS), brain woke up in overload. Come on Ex Gov Perry, rumors have it that you could dance much better at The Hall of Shame in College Station.

Campus tour 7.5.2014 2014-07-05 101 (600x800)

Who knows where this is?

I am finally going to vote for you so I can keep watching. Who knew the protesters storming the stage would be after Lochte instead of you? Was it the Rio police or the other UT swimmers?

But back to the nine dwarfs. First of all I believe the PC term is Little People. Second, why is the plural not spelled dwarves? And third, there were originally nine dwarfs, but Grouchy and Touchy were riffed by a governor’s line item veto.

20130701_121153

After watching selected segments of DWTS for the third time, I finally quit laughing and decided to take my allergy meds and go to bed. For something to read to become drowsy I read the possible side effects of the medication I had just ingested. When did Grouchy and Touchy become medical terms as a possible side effect?

Here’s what I’m thinking. If Grouchy and Touchy are listed as side effects, then Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey should be listed also. In addition, Doc is either a veterinarian, a dentist or should have his medical license revoked. He is certainly not an allergy specialist. Otherwise he could have medicated the others.

Happy Tuesday.

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Posted in humor, Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies

Tagged DWTS, Rick Perry, Ryan Lochte, seven dwarfs

Monday, September 12, 2016 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 12, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 12, 2016 – The Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

I must admit that I did not watch as much college football as I usually do. Instead I attended a benefit for a high school friend aka a Still Magnolia. In the grand scheme of life I think friends are more important than football.

Nevertheless, The Buzzard Award goes to the referring crew who blew the call on the Oklahoma State – Central Michigan game. The play was dead and Central Michigan should not have had an opportunity to even try a Hail Mary with a lateral to score. OSU 27 Central Michigan 30. Referees zero. The referees also win The Suspension Bridge Award to celebrate their suspension.

buzzards-800x727

The Tide continues to Roll at the number one spot of the polls. I regret I was not able to see Coach Sabin’s head explode live and in real time. I am awarding you instead of the usual Willie Muschamp, the Exploding Head Coach Award. Didn’t you just hire that guy you were giving an old fashioned ass chewing?

2. Florida State – Do Not Care (DNC) at this time

3. Ohio State – DNC – I do not like those funny, pot looking leafy things on your helmets.

4. Michigan – DNC yet. So just Big Chill out.

5. Clemson wins The Helen of Troy Award. Just a touchdown shy of a beautiful upset. Troy 24 Clemson 30.

6. Houston – Shasta is looking pretty scary. Houston wins the Domino Pizza Award for shutting out Lamar 42-0. More dominoes to fall before Shasta is happy.

7. Stanford – Brainiacs had to study.

8.Washington – DNC but I will award you the Potato Award for your victory over Idaho 59-14.

9.Wisconsin – Onward Thru the Fog Wisconsin Award for the Badger win over Akron. 54-10

10.Louisville – I award Louisville the Funny Fluffy Orange Thing Award for its 62-28 win over Syracuse.

Otto the Orange

THE University of Texas – The Horns win the Remain Calm and Carry On Strong Award. Let’s remember you played UTEP and won 41-7, but there are several teams who have their eyes on The Eyes of Texas – like all of the Big 12.

Michigan State – DNC

Iowa – DNC

Oklahoma – The Sooners win A Duck Dynasty Camo award for a 50-17 win over UL Monroe.

Tennessee – The Vols over the Hokies of Va. Tech 45 to 24. DNC until Oct 8. Bring on Rocky Top and see how the Stands of Kyle sway.

Georgia – Did UGA go to sleep? The Dawgs win the Poo Poo Undies Award for surviving a scare from Nicholls 26-24. Nicholls, you win The Gumbo Award as the Boys from Thibeaux scared the poo out of the Dawgs.

Texas A&M – Great sideline coaching uniforms and great helmets to remember and honor September 11. Aggies win Best Uniform and Helmet Award. It was definitely a cupcake win over Prairie View at 67-0. Blinn was not available that weekend and PVA&M brings a larger student body and better band. From what I heard, PV also brings great fans. Aggies win the 12th Man Award because women’s basketball team and the Aggie Band were about to suit up and play the last quarter. Aggies are also awarded the William Blake, Tiger Tiger Burning Bright Watch Award as the bus travels to Auburn next Saturday.

Notre Dame – 39 to 10 over Nevada. Touchdown Jesus and Hail Mary full of Desert Award to the Irish.

Mississippi – Hotty Toddy win over Wofford. The Rebels win The Cupcake Award of the Week. Wofford? A private liberal arts college? What toddy goes with a cupcake?

LSU 34 – Jacksonville State 13. LSU wins the Frost Award because it has Miles to go before he sleeps. Tigers also win the You Better Step it up a Notch Award if you expect to win the SEC.

Baylor – Who picked the uniforms for you this week? Fifty-shades of Gray in Waco is not your color. Bears win Ugly Uniform Award for the week. The Baptists win over the SMU Methodists. Bears still need more than pony up for the Big 12.

Oregon – Who did you play? Oh yeah Virginia. Oregon wins the Cavalier Duck Award 44-26.

Florida – Really Don’t Care

Arkansas – The Baconators win The Purple Phrog Eaters Award for it double OT victory of TCU.

Miami – Really, super don’t care.

A few others of interest.

South Carolina 14 Miss. State 27. Uncle Will Muschamp wins the Erectile Dysfunction Award. It could a while before the Game Cocks rise again.

Stephen F Austin 30 Western Alabama 24 – Ax ‘Em Jacks! Can’t wait for the Battle of the Big Thicket!

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Posted in College Football, Native Texan

Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, LSU, Ole Miss, Roll Tide, Sports, Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks, Texas A&M, University of Tennessee

September 11, 2016 – Fifteen Years Ago

Posted on September 11, 2016 | 2 comments

September 11, 2016 – Fifteen Years Ago

Fifteen years ago at 7:44 AM EST the world and lives changed forever. We shall not forgot.

twin-towers-with-script

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Posted in Uncategorized

Tagged 2001, 9/11, September 11, Twin Towers

Friday, September 9, 2016- Snark Attack or Bring on the Cupcakes

Posted on September 9, 2016 | 2 comments

Friday, September 9, 2016- Snark Attack or Bring on the Cupcakes

It is week two college football weekend. This is cupcake week where teams play schools of lesser talent, little depth and few people care them about unless you or your child went there. In spite of usually getting the crap beat out of them, the smaller schools do take a large sum of money for the gate attendance and TV audience. Of course this is not the case if one is playing on The Unsharing Longhorn Network.

The only game of serious consequence is Arkansas v TCU – both edible mascots. Sooey Pigs. FYI – Arkansas please do not wear that red pig hat. The only headwear that looks worse is the Sooner Schooner wagon. Wait, I take that back. The giant ear of corn of Nebraska is the worse.

THE University of Texas at Austin plays The University of Texas El Paso. From nowhere to number 11in the AP Poll? Give me a teasipping break! Be nice to the teams on your way up because it is the same ones you will pass on your way down.

Tailgating 9.3.16 UCLA 2016-09-03 007 - Copy (800x579)

BTHO Prairie View

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Posted in College Football, humor, Native Texan

Thursday, September 8, 2016 – We May Never Pass This Way Again – The Original Eight First Graders.

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Thursday, September 8, 2016 – We May Never Pass This Way Again – The Original Eight First Graders.

Please take your seat on the Way Back Bus. Our trip today takes us to September 1955 when the individuals pictured here began the First Grade at Magnolia Elementary School in Magnolia, Texas.

Seated: Ted Dean Standing L-R – Lucille Carraway Glass, Karen Rickett, Delia Duffey, Wanda Day, Jeannette Wade, Dottie Lloyd.

These, plus Molly Harper (RIP), would continue together through junior high school and go on to graduate from Magnolia High School 12 years later in 1967. Eight students attending all twelve grades together is seldom seen in education today. We may never pass that way again.

We did not attend kindergarten because there was none in Magnolia. We had parents who read to us, taught us our ABC’s, taught us to count to 100 and taught us how to behave.

We are the only Magnolia High School graduating class whose present age is the same as the year we graduated from high school. We, the Magnolia High School Class of 1967 celebrate its 50th anniversary from high school this spring. Only one of the original eight is missing.

As Seals and Croft sing We May Never Pass This Way Again, listen to the words.

Life, so they say Is but a game and they’d let it slip away Love, like the autumn sun Should be dyin’ but it’s only just begun Like the twilight in the road up ahead They don’t see just where we’re goin’ And all the secrets in the universe Whisper in our ears All the years that come and go Take us up, always up

[Chorus:] We may never pass this way again [4X]

Dreams, so they say Are for the fools and they let ’em drift away Peace, like the silent dove Should be flyin’ but it’s only just begun Like Columbus in the olden days We must gather all our courage Sail our ships out on the open seas Cast away our fears and All the years that come and go Take us up, always up

[Chorus]

(So) I want to laugh while the laughin’ is easy I want to cry when it makes it worthwhile I may never pass this way again That’s why I want it with you (‘Cause) You make me feel like I’m more than a friend Like I’m the journey and you’re the journey’s end I may never pass this way again

To the classes of Magnolia High School and especially those of the 1960’s please join the MHS Class of 1967 in celebrating 50 years. Stay tuned for more info about celebrating this milestone because We May Never Pass This Way Again.

Now please watch your step as we return to the present.

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Posted in Education, Native Texan

Tagged Magnolia Elementary School, Magnolia High School, Seals and Croft

Wednesday, September 7, 2016 – Yu So Yung

Posted on September 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, September 7, 2016 – Yu So Yung

Yu So Yung is off to play golf and hoping that her evil twin sister Yu So Suk does not show up.

Par!

practice (293x456)

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Posted in Uncategorized

Tuesday, September 6, 2016 – Delay of Game and Eye Is Fine

Posted on September 6, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, September 6, 2016 – Delay of Game and Eye Is Fine

I hope your Labor Day was fun-filled. The Summer of 2016 is officially over.

Fall Leaves – September 2014 – Soldata, Alaska. Photo by me.

My apologies for being late this morning. I had to have my eyes checked. I always ask to have them done in plaid rather than checked, but the doctor always says the patterns are too hard to match. But I am thankful for 20/20 vision with no corrective eyewear.

Following the eye check I had to renew my license plates which I let expire on August 31. I did remember to get the inspection in August. At the tax office, I immediately checked an incorrect box on the form because my eyes are dilated (that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.) This caused the form to be nullified and the supervisor had to be called over to print a new one on the special printer. My tax dollars at work.

It would not look good for the Alternate Foreperson on the Brazos Valley District Grand Jury to be stopped for expired registration and license tags. These are the types of incidences that cause law enforcement officers to stop your vehicle. I especially do not want to be pulled over when the pupils of my eyes are the same size as the iris. Irises?

With such an exhausting day already it is necessary that I lie down, take to my sleep mask, listen to some tunes and wait for my eye sight to become undilated.

See ya tomorrow.

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Posted in humor

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend!

Posted on September 5, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 5, 2016 – Happy Labor Day and What a Great Kick Off Weekend. My Monday after Saturday (and Thursday, Friday and Sunday) After College Football Awards – Week One.

WHOOP! Tailgating 9.3.16 Photo by Terry.

Thursday

The Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte Award goes to Louisville for the 70-14 win over Charlotte.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to the Volunteers and their fans from Tennessee for their OT victory against Appalachian State. There’s an App for that. App State 13 Tennessee 20 OT.

The Dabo Babo Award goes to Auburn for coming so close to cleaning Clemson. Clemson 19 Auburn 13.

Friday

The Baptism at the Brazos Award or the This Should Have Been a Sign Award goes to Baylor. Baylor was the first team to take down a team from Louisiana. Sorry Daryl. Bad weekend for teams from Louisiana. Baylor 55 Northwestern State 7.

That Grammar Don’t Sound Right Award goes to Stanford. “The Cardinal are on the scoreboard,” just does not sound correct, even though technically and grammatically it is since the football team is the color Cardinal. With so many brains, one would think they could come up with an actual mascot. Stanford Cardinal 26 K-State Wildkats 13.

Saturday

The Carole King “I Feel the Earth Move Under my Feet” Award goes to Oklahoma State University. Dang, when those Cowboys say, “Hell, is coming and I’m coming with it” they really mean it. OSU 61 SE Louisiana 7.

Photo by Kristen. Thank you.

The Herman’s Hermits Award Goes toThe University of Houston. The Oklahoma earthquake obvious wrecked and fracked The Sooner Schooner, but had no effect on Big 12 Wannabee – The University of Houston. OU 23 Houston 33.

The Pepto Abysmal Award goes to LSU 14 Wisconsin 16. Is the For Sale sign up in front of Miles’s house yet?

The Flying Tortillas Award goes to Texas Tech for turning the SFA Lumberjacks into flapjacks. TT 69 SFA 17. I told you to watch out for flying footballs.

The Phrog Jumped over The Hill Award goes to the TCU Frogs. Charlie P. You know this is not the good team from South Dakota, don’t you? TCU 59 South Dakota State 41.

The Victory Award goes to Kansas University! Rock Chalk Jayhawk! for their first win in 665 days over Rhode Island. KU 55 URI 6.

The Nut Cracker Award goes to USC player Jabari Ruffin. You should have been suspended as well as ejected for that cheap shot. Glad the Crimson Tide drowned and steam rolled your package. Roll Tide! Alabama 52 USC 6.

A Poo Poo Undies Award goes to The Fighting Texas Aggies for their OT win against a very talented team from California. UCLA 24Texas A&M 3. I did not know I could hold my breath for an entire overtime period.

“Get yore hand out of Myle’s Garret’s face so he can touch my hand.” Team March In – Kyle Field. Photo by me.

The Twelfth Man Award goes to The Twelfth Man – all 100,000+ chanting 50,000! 50,000! Note to Navy: Do not even think about using The Twelfth Man even though you actually pulled a midshipman from the stands to QB the team.

E. King Gill. The Original Twelfth Man. Kyle Field. 9.3.16. Photo by me.

The Big Learning Experience Award goes to UCLA QB Josh Rosen for his leadership and taking responsibility for his poor play against the Aggies. Yes, Myles Garret and the others were in his shirt, but he stayed cool under the loud pressure and displayed outstanding leadership for a 19 year old. Well-done. It is not easy playing in Kyle Field.

Sunday

A Poo Poo Undies Award aka Holy Crap Award goes to THE University of Texas and its fans for a double OT thriller over Notre Dame. Not even the rainbow over DKR Stadium could stop BEVO from eating the creepy Leprechaun. Notre Dame 47 THE University of Texas 50 2 OT. I am happy for you Bevo, but put down Coach Strong and do not use electricity to light the Tower. It’s just Notre Dame.

Photo by Martha. Thanks, Roomie.

The Shane Come Back Award is shared by THE University of Texas quarterbacks Shane Buechele and a swooping and stretching Tyrone Swoops. Maybe tu just needed another cowboy type name and new BEVO. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

The All Names Matter Awards goes to following:

In Third Place – from Notre Dame, # 91 Adetokunbo Ogundeji

In Second Place – from Notre Dame, # 6 – Equanimeous St. Brown

In First Place – winning from K-State, # 52 – Charmeachealle Moore.

What a weekend! That’s the scoop for the first weekend.

Pooper Scoopers (800x599)

Is it too early for an Ole Miss Hotty Toddy? Oh mimosas!

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Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan

Tagged Baylor Bears, Baylor football, college football, Josh Rosen, Oklahoma State University, Oklahoma University, OU, SEC, Stanford, Texas Ag, Texas Aggie football, UCLA football, UCLA v TAMU

Friday, September 2, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football Kickoff Weekend

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Friday, September 2, 2016 – Snarky Friday – College Football Kickoff Weekend

The Friday before the first official weekend of college football is usually spent listing who got arrested, suspended and for what and thus will not be playing in this weekend football openers on Saturday. Let’s sum it up by saying to those of you not playing:

“quit being stupid,

stay off of social media,

don’t steal other peoples’ stuff,

stop hitting people and your pets when you get angry,

have a designated driver,

don’t smoke dope and

No (and passed out cold) means NO!”

But enough about Baylor, Auburn, Notre Dame, Texas A&M, Alabama, OU, Stanford, Mississippi State, Ole Miss and USC players.

Tonight we have Baylor vs Northwestern – the Baptist Bears against the Northwestern Demons. @ 6:30. No TV. Not even baptismal streaming on ESPN3. These Demons just might add to the other demons haunting Baylor. Sorry Baylor nieces, nephews and gnieces and gnephews. Wishing for an upset. Go Cousin Daryl – DC for Northwestern.

Speaking of Natchitoches where Northwestern is located, we have the other brother, Nacogdoches, and his town my Alma Mater # 1 Stephen F. Austin playing Texas Tech in Lubbock @ 7:00 on Saturday. No TV. Not even ESPN3 streaming. Listen up, Jacks. Lubbock will look completely foreign and bare. You will recognize it instantly with no trees. Do not bring your axes. However, beware of flying tortillas as well as flying footballs. Ax ‘Em Jacks!

Ax'Em Jacks!

# 8 Stanford and Kansas State @ 8:00 on FS1. The Wildkats from Kansas State travel to meet west coast Cardinal brainiacs and free thinkers. Think culture clash.

It’s a bloody Mary morning when #3 OU visits #15 The University of Houston @ 11:00 AM on ABC. To select a favorite is like trying to decide between a root canal and a hot water enema. I will go with the best looking red uniforms.

#5 LSU vs Wisconsin @ 2:30 on ABC. Leaping Lambeaux Field! And breathing the air of Vince Lombardi. ESPN Game Day @ 9:00. See which animal head Lee Curses puts on his head predicting the winner. On Wisconsin and into the Eye (and mouth) of the Tiger. Geaux Tigers! And Run Leonard Run!

#16 ucla vs TAMU @ 2:30 on CBS. The Aggies scored SEC Game Day at 9:00. I am getting my maroon, Adidas ensemble ready to tail gate. Thank you Hokes for the invitation!

Note to ucla QB, Josh Rosen: You might want to check out the 50,000 Aggies that will show up to Yell Practice tonight so you can become accustomed to the noise. Then prepare for another 50,000 the next day. This ain’t Utah.

Kyle Field Tour 11.19.15 2015-11-18 014 (800x600)

Alma Mater # 2 Sam Houston State v Oklahoma Panhandle State in beautiful Bowers Stadium in Huntsville, Texas @ 6:00. No TV. Go Bearkats!

#1 Alabama vs # 20 USC @ 7:00 on ABC. Roll Tide and stop with the OJ jokes. But you are correct. None of the other Heismans have killed people. At least not yet.

On Sunday, # 10 Notre Dame vs and the Strong and up and coming Texas Longhorns. Bless me Father for I have sinned and will be pulling for the Longhorns. The leprechaun is creepy; Bevo is not.

UT OSU Nov 16.2013 2013-11-16 026 (800x600)

Monday; # 11 Ole Miss and #4 Florida State @ 7:00 on ESPN in Orlando assuming the entire peninsula has not been washed away.

Go Team Fight!

BTHO ucla!

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Posted in College Football, humor, Native Texan

Tagged Baylor Bears, Baylor football, College Football; Texas Aggies, SFA Lumberjacks, TAMU, UCLA v TAMU

Thursday, September 1, 2016 – Kick Off – We Are Hours Away

Posted on September 1, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, September 1, 2016 – Kick Off – We Are Hours Away

Even though Charlotte plays Louisville and Appalachian State plays Tennessee this evening, the only game under discussion today is TEXAS A&M and ucla.

Good morning, boys and girls. Saint Madeline Hunter here with our anticipatory set:

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape,

You don’t spit into the wind;

You don’t pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and

You don’t mess around with Jim or The Twelfth Man.

Tour of Kyle Field. November 2015. Check out the maroon shoes.

Our vocabulary word for the day is peradventure. It is a noun meaning chance, doubt or uncertainty.

Your assignment is to use peradventure in a sentence. Your sentence, however, must tell a story with a beginning, middle and end. For example:

Even though UCLA QB Josh Rosen said the crowd noise would not be a factor on Saturday, his inability to demonstrate beyond peradventure of an onward march collapsed under the weight of The Twelfth Man in Kyle Field.

Bruin number 3? Texas Aggie number 15 has your number. I hope you have many Myles before you sleep.

BTHO ucla