Category Archives: Misc.

Thursday, August 4, 2016 – Not the Only One Ready for Football

Posted on August 4, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I guess I am not the only one ready for some college football. Loved all of the snarky responses yesterday. Here are my responses to your responses:

Stephen F. Austin State – Alma mater to degree # 1. Ax ‘Em Jacks. “Oh future bright, neath the purple and white, all hail to SFA…”

Ax'Em Jacks!

Sam Houston State Bear Kats –Alma mater to degree # 2. All SHSU sports are covered by the TV channels in Bryan – so cool. Teach me some cheers, Telisha.

Northwestern – go DEFENSE! Cousin Darryl (but not my other Cousin Darryl) is Defensive Coordinator. Go Demons! But not against SFA or Sam Houston!

Texas Tech – I shall anxiously await my case of tortillas. Will they be arriving by Fed Ex or a TT EX on a horse? Please know I will throw them at the TV when TT plays OU and those other schools like Kansas and Iowa State that really need to concentrate on basketball.  Go Kliff!

Tech (800x600)

Alabama – I hope my readership does not fall off either, JH. I was under the impression that the four from Alabama and/or who support the Tide and who actually read HWIT represented the entire literacy of the state. Just to clarify you know I will yell “Roll Tide” when you meet Auburn, South Carolina (or any school coached by Uncle Will “Exploding Head” Muschamp), any school from Florida and any team that Bama plays that will help Texas A&M look better in the SEC West. Also, should Larry Culpepper be hawking Dr. Peppers as Alabama prepares for another National Championship in January, I will put Roll Tide on my banner.

Texas A&M – Alma mater to degree #3. Being an equal opportunity Snark my Aggies get an entire post tomorrow. Some Bad Bull.

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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Tuesday, August 2, 2016 – Cordelia Robeline Laird Faust and Mary Rose Duckworth Duffey

Posted on August 2, 2016 | 1 comment

Tuesday, August 2, 2016 – Cordelia Robeline Laird Faust and Mary Rose Duckworth Duffey

You probably recognize my name somewhere in the two names above. Those two lovely women were my grandmothers. I am happy to carry the fine Southern tradition of being named after grandparents.

You might have seen the meme (it’s a picture) on FaceBook that says “99% of a child’s awesomeness comes from their grandmother.” I am not a grandmother, but I am pretty awesome and what I know of my grandmothers, they were pretty awesome too.

Unfortunately none of us knew Cordelia as she would be taken from the Faust family at age 36.  Here is one of the few photographs of Cordelia. Notice the eyes. I have them. Smokey Horn had them and one of the other cousins – maybe Jerry – has them.

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However, many were fortunate to know Mamaw Duffey or Aunt Rose as she lived to a grand age of 86 (I think).

Rose steps

The rest of me appears to be Mamaw Duffey. Tall, thin (thank you Lord), and armed with “the Duckworth tongue.” The Duckworth women (and there were five of them if you count Old Mama) were known for their, shall we say family leadership? I believe my grandfather referred to them as “ramrods.” Every woman in my family has the Duckworth gene – we can take you down with words so acerbic you will not know what hit you. We can tell you go to Hell in such a way that you are looking forward to the trip.

I have no conclusions other than I was blessed to have some awesome grandmothers. I hope you did too and I know there are many awesome grandmothers out there.

 

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Posted in Misc., Native Texan

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

Posted on August 1, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

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Montgomery County Go Texan Photo – early 1970’s (I think). Used with permission. (sorta)

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Photo by HB. Damn – still look like that, including orthopedic shoes.

Whoopie Yi Ky Yea! Or as Texas Tech says “Guns Up!” I am going get me a pink skirt with white fringe on the bottom, grab my black Patsy Cline, pearl snap button shirt, jump into my best cowgirl boots (the Lucchese lizard ones) and get me a pink, matching holster and handgun with a pink grip. As of January 1, Texans could openly carry a hand gun on your hip, just like Wyatt Earp and Annie Oakley.

Then there is campus carry. As of today in Texas if you are 21 years old, have a concealed handgun license you can carry your firearm on certain college campuses. Handguns in your school’s colors. What a concept. Get yours at the campus bookstore now.

One is not allowed to carry their weapon in to residence halls, child care centers and ticketed sporting events. Heck, if I were going to shoot somebody, it would probably be in one of those places. “I am trying to study! Turn down your music or I will come shoot you!”

I understand the University of Houston has installed state of the art gun safes to store handguns as carriers move into places where their gun is not allowed. I wanted to carry a gun for my one semester at the U of H in 1972.

At Texas A&M there are certain areas on campus where one can openly campus carry their gun. I hope if there is a shooter on campus he (or she) is in one of those areas and not in a residence hall, childcare center or ticketed sporting event. Does that mean I can carry my gun to intermural events? I can have beer at an intermural and sometimes at ticketed sporting events, but I cannot drive a car with an open beer.  I don’t think you can ride with me either if you have an open container of alcohol.

Most bars have signs barring guns inside. A strictly regulated sign must be displayed. It has 30.07 for NO open carry and 30.06 for NO concealed firearms. Alcohol and firearms with “Don’t take your guns to town, Son; leave your guns at home” playing on the sound system – not a good mix.

THE University of Texas at Austin has a listing of regulations and policies regarding campus carry.

The debut of the Texas gun law falls on the 50th Anniversary of the deadly mass shooting at The University of Texas in 1966 where 17 people, including an unborn child were killed by Charles Whitman –a crazy person on a college campus with a gun.

I wonder if it too late to go to law school.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

Posted on July 28, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

“I know a place where we can go…” Just off of FM 1774 where Montgomery, Grimes and Waller Counties come together is Henry’s Hideout. I have devised a quiz for you regarding this place. Henry’s definitely deserves a historical marker – even if it a personal, coming of age type marker. Growing up in Magnolia, I was forbidden to even drive by the place.

Henrys (800x450)

 

Give yourself one point for each answer you answer with “YES.”

  1. Have you ever been there?
  2. Have you ever had a cold beer there?
  3. Have you ever had a cold beer AND a barbeque sandwich there?
  4. Do you know what Henry’s last name was?
  5. Have you ever danced a two-step and Cotton Eyed Joe in the dancehall there?
  6. Have you ever participated, witnessed or broken up a fight there?
  7. Have you ever played in a band there?
  8. Have you ever sung on stage with the band there – whether you were supposed to or not?
  9. Have you ever celebrated Genevieve’s birthday there?
  10. Would you like to be there now?

If you said NO to the first question, you should plan a trip. If you answered YES to the first question I would love to hear your stories.

Many of you should not lie and say NO because I was with you when we did numbers two through nine. I wish we could do number 10 together today. Thank goodness there were no digital cameras or phones. Oh, I scored a perfect 10.

 

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Posted in humor, Misc., Native Texan

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Wednesday, July 27, 2016 – Dog Days of Summer

Posted on July 27, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 – Dog Days of Summer and Guest Blogger

Hello. My name is Tucker. I am Aunt Delia’s great dog nephew.  She went to hit the little white ball into a hole with a stick so I am taking her place. I take a great selfie, don’t I?.

Me and Tucker (800x800)

When my house family goes out of town, AD comes and stays with me. I like her. We have fun and she takes good care of me. In fact, I think she might change her will and leave all of her money to me! Why? I see more of her than her than she sees of her biped great nieces and nephews.  AD and I have a bet that she will not get single LIKE from any of them on FB.

Here are some pictures of what we do when she visits. We have breakfast and coffee outside. Tucker Breakfast (800x450)

Then we go for a walk.

Tucker Walk (800x450)

When we return I get ice cubes in my water bowl to cool my after walk water.  Isn’t she the best?

Tucker Ice Water (800x450)

Sometimes, if I am persistent, I get a massage.

Tucker Massage (800x450)

Mostly, I sit and watch the front door waiting for my house family.

Tucker profile (648x800)I miss them when they are gone.

Tucker Sad (800x742)I like to sleep a lot too.

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Posted in humor, Misc.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

Posted on July 26, 2016 | 2 comments

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

I woke up this morning still trying to determine what decade I am in. I think it is still 1968.

When Paul Simon stepped on stage last night at the Democratic National Convention, you just knew he was going to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water. Like the shape many believe America to be in, his voice was raspy and maybe not able to hit to high notes so well, but it was still beautiful. When the song is perfect, it is not the voice that sings it, but the words the voice sings.

Then came The Bern and Senator Sanders’ video featuring America. Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they’ve all come to look for America. The only thing missing during that concert scene was the Bic lighters.

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Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Michelle Obama all spoke at the last night’s convention. Regardless of your candidate, you must admit they were all better speakers that the previous ones from last week who said “Vote for my Daddy.”

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Cory Booker – What a Hotty and a Stanford graduate, and played football. Go Cardinal. Now he is the first Black Senator from New Jersey. Wow, those gifted and talented children do come in all colors, shapes and sizes!

Elizabeth Warren – “I come from Oklahoma and went to a commuter college in Texas.” That is definitely a definition of a First Genner – the first of one’s family to attend college. Her undergraduate college would be the University of Houston, once known as Cougar High, once known as home of Phi Slamma Jamma, but still has a beautiful mascot named Shasta. Shasta will look good in The Big 12 Conference.

Anyway, back to Simon and Garfunkel. The year 1968 was a good year for songs. Check out the top 100 songs of 1968. Simon and Garfunkel had two in the top 100. http://www.musicoutfitters.com/topsongs/1968.htm

I know these tunes blasted from my dorm room and up and down the hall of Dorm 18 from other stationary technology music machines on the lovely campus of Stephen F. Austin in 1968. I know you can sing a few words to all them. All of the songs would be appropriate for either campaign.

And Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know…

If you are really bored, check out the video of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. The more things change; the more they stay the same. And We, The People are still here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Iye1NQy1NY

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

Posted on July 22, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

In honor of the end of the Republican National Convention and the start of the Democratic National Convention, I present to you for your Snarky Friday – Jabberwocky.

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Jabberwocky is considered one of the greatest nonsense poems written in English. I am guessing there may one or two from the intelligentsia who will make the connection of Jabberwocky to the political landscape of the day. Pick your personal jabberwock, but beware  of “the frumious Bandersnatch!”

JABBERWOCKY

Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,  And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!   The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun   The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:   Long time the manxome foe he sought — So rested he by the Tumtum tree,   And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,   The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,   And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through   The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head   He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?   Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’   He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogves,   And the mome raths outgrabe.

 

 

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Posted on July 15, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Our word for today is animadversion. It is a noun meaning 1. “An unfavorable or censorious comment; to make animadversions on someone’s conduct; 2. The act of criticizing.

Let’s get our red, white and blue hats of animadversion ready for the circus that comes to Cleveland, Ohio on Monday – The Republican National Convention. This one is going to be a doozy and there promises to be many animadversions. The Presumptive Candidate will become The Candidate of the Republican Party unless all Hell breaks loose with delegates, which is still a possibility.

Mr. Trump and the Trump campaign selected Mike Pence from Indiana as his running mate. That makes the ticket Trump-Pence or trumpets. So far, Mr. Pence wins the follicle contest for having the better hair.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christi will be a featured speaker at the Convention. He was probably hoping for Veep, but perhaps now he will secure a Cabinet Post if the Republicans are victorious this fall. Maybe he will get Secretary of Transportation.

Leading the Texas delegation will be Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick. LG Patrick will be fresh off embarrassing my state at the Town Hall meeting last evening. Mr. Patrick was the only one who opening criticized the president, offered no solutions and then proceeded to look pouty the remainder of the evening. All of the other speakers asked for solutions and help. Please get well, Governor Abbott – never thought I would say that.

I see the on agenda that Benghazi will be discussed the first night of the convention. I have a few questions. Are we talking about the United States, England or Russia who has tried at Benghazi and failed over the centuries? Will this discussion of the past incidents change anything? Will you disclose how much it costs taxpayers to look backwards?

Political speeches are often (OK –always) boring. Therefore I have come up with some activities to do while watching history. Here are some drinking games to play during the boring speeches.

  1. Count the number of times a speaker dishes President Obama or Hillary Clinton. If the number is five within five minutes, do a tequila shot. If neither name has been uttered within five minutes, do tequila shot anyway.
  2. During camera pans of the audience do tequila shot each time you see a minority. Dr. Ben Carson does not count. Neither does Ted Cruz.
  3. If you live in a recreational state such as Colorado or Alaska, or if you have medical condition (and who doesn’t these days?) spark it up and pretend The Convention is a Made for TV Movie.
  4. Create a Play List for the Republican National Convention. Here. I will get you started – Send in The Clowns.
  5. Design a foreign policy for the Republican Campaign. Locating the state of Indiana does not count.

If all else fails may I suggest a movie? Rent, download or stream – A Day Without a Mexican. http://www.adaywithoutamexican.com/

One morning California wakes up to find that one third of its population has disappeared. A thick fog surrounds the State and communication outside its boundaries is completely cut off. As the day goes by we discover that the characteristic that links the 14 million disappearances is their Hispanic background.

Buenos Dias, Ya’ll!

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Posted on July 14, 2016 | 3 comments

Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Drinks @ Hilton (800x450)

French Champagne and a Belgium Moon.

Whatever you say, don’t call it Bastille Day. That’s a British term – the French call it the much more poetic ‘la fête du 14-Juillet’, or simply ‘la fête nationale’.

In fact, you don’t wish people ‘happy’ anything. Perhaps safest sticking with “Vive la France! Vive la République!” because that’s what it was all about.

The storming of the prison Bastille symbolized the start of the French Revolution. This is one of the many revolutions against the governments of the time. In the case of the French, this revolution did not go well for King Louis and Marie Antoinette. After several years of unrest in France a little man named Napoleon Bonaparte would appear on the scene of history.

Here are some words you can use today to show your support for France.

Bien sûr.

French Revolution – la Revolution Francaise

Republic – la Republique

French flag – le drapeau tricolore

Fireworks – le feu d’artifice

Military parade – le defile

Homeland – la patrie

Long Live France – Vive la France

Storming of the Bastille – la Prise de la Bastille

Eiffel Tower – la tour Eiffel

French national anthem – “La Marseillaise”

Great Football Team – Texas Aggies

OK, I was just checking to see if you were still reading.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

Posted on July 13, 2016 | 1 comment

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

practice (293x456)

Today is Wednesday and the Briarcrest Women’s Golf League plays. My inner Korean golfer, Yu So Yung showed up for 17 holes. Then on number 18, her evil twin sister Yu So Suk ran onto the fairway and immediately hit two balls into the water. Then the evil wench went on to throw the ball into the bunker. Oh well, I still shot lower than the heat index.

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Posted in humor, Misc., Native Texan, Uncategorized