Category Archives: Texas Aggies

Monday, May 9, 2016 – Texas Aggies – Armed and Dangerous

Monday, May 9, 2016 – Texas Aggies – Armed and Dangerous

I am not referring to the fact that we as Texans can carry hand-guns like real rootin’ tootin’ gun totin’ cowboys from days of yore. Like so many public universities, TAMU has campus carry. You can carry your handgun, but only in selected areas. I hope if a shooter shoots it is where I can carry my gun.

Campus tour 7.5.2014 2014-07-05 098 (800x600)

FYI – You can’t carry your gun here, Pilgrim.

I am referring to the no-hit shut out pitched by Texas Aggie Kyle Simonds against # 10 Vanderbilt. Try that on with your Gloria jeans from the 1980’s.

Simonds made history as only the 11th Aggie in over 100 years to pitch a no hitter. Vanderbilt hit the ball hard in the ninth, but center fielder Nick Choruby made a spectacular diving catch. The game was one error away from Simonds pitching a perfect game. But it was a Maddux just the same. For a game to be a Maddux, the pitcher must toss a complete game shutout, and throw fewer than 100 pitches. Simonds threw 83 pitches. Can I get a big WHOOP, please!

It is a long way still to Omaha and the College World Series on June 18-28/29. Of course the Aggies must get through the dreaded SEC with good teams such as LSU and Florida. We will meet the Commodores (not the Lionel Richie group) again too.

Hopefully the Aggie baseball pitching staff is deep and strong enough to carry us to and through the tournament to the dogpile in Omaha. I wonder if one of those pitchers can play quarterback.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 – Golf, Politics and Football

Wednesday, May 4, 2016 – Golf, Politics and Football

The Briarcrest Women’s Golf Association begins play today in The President’s Cup Tournament. For the next three Wednesday’s we play 18 holes and turn in our two best score cards.

Speaking of score cards… It appears Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will be the finalists for rest of the campaign circus. I saw where one could get a “Woman Card” from the Hillary campaign. Am I going to need this to go to a public bathroom? Say for example – when I am tailgating at Kyle Field?

Four months from today, Texas Aggies across the world will be reading of the Aggie football team’s victory over UCLA. Football season is three months and 29 days away from kickoff. The 2016 SEC Championship Game is predicted to be between LSU and Tennessee. Tennessee? Rocky Top and the Tigers?

The Texas Aggies have a 100 to 1 chance of winning the National Football Championship. Why are you laughing – THE University of Texas at Austin? They are the same odds you have of raising the National Championship trophy in Austin. Both schools should be crying – those are the same odds of The University of Houston winning the championship.

Me and Tailgating

Tailgating @ Kyle Field – 2015 When Alabama came to town.

Gig’Em! We do have a Knight in shining maroon armor. I hope I have a golf club that shines today. Please let it be the putter.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016 – Happy Teachers’ Day – Who Do You Think You Are?

Tuesday, May 3, 2016 – Happy Teachers’ Day – Who Do You Think You Are?

“Write a 1000 word paper telling me ‘Who Do You Think You Are’” Can you name the movie in which that was the assignment? Hint: a movie from the 1980’s.

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While you are thinking, here are some remembered education quotes from teachers, friends and colleagues from years past. I am only attributing one quote to one teacher – my major advisor, dissertation advisor Dr. Frances E. Clark, who went to the Big Classroom in the Sky last week. For you, Dr. C. – Here!

From the Department of Redundancy Department – Dr. Frank Clark.

You can guess at the contributors for the rest.

The children are not negotiable.

You can lead a student to water, but you can’t make him think. But you can make him awfully thirsty.

You can take a good teacher and make them great, but you cannot take a bad teacher and make them a good one.

I am from the Texas Education Agency and I do not have anything to do with assessment or PEIMS or curriculum. (1989 – Present day)

From Conroe High (Conroe ISD) from the 1970’s – “Teachers, pardon this interruption. Will the following pupils report to the Vocational Building for the FFA yearbook picture…? The pupils participating in UIL events tomorrow will meet at 8:30 in the cafeteria.”

From J. L. McCullough High School (McC) (Conroe ISD) from the 1980’s – “Teachers, pardon this second interruption for the morning announcements … please review the Do Not Admit List and do not admit these students to your class until they have an excuse from their counselor. And don’t forget to keep looking for the pony.”

From Magnolia High School (Magnolia ISD) May 2, 2016 – “Teachers, pardon this interruption, the testing period has ended. You may now return your students’ cell phones.”

I bet you can add so many other quotes. Happy Teachers’ Day to all of us! Thank or think of one of your teachers. You can read this, can’t you? Then do it. It is because of us that you can!

And the assignment question?

“Saturday, March 24, 1984 Brian Johnson [although unknown at this point] Shermer High School Shermer, Illinois 60062

“Dear Mr. Vernon:

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong, but we think you’re crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us… In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain… …and an athlete… …and a basket case… …a princess… …and a criminal. Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Sunday, May 1, 2016 – It’s May! It’s May! The Lusty Month of May! Vote for Von!

Sunday, May 1, 2016 – It’s May! It’s May! The Lusty Month of May! Vote for Von!

Since I will be out tomorrow hopefully making the world a better place, enjoy a special edition of HWIT and vote for Von!

Here’s What I’m Thinking. Von Miller, his partner and all the male dancers on Dancing with the Stars should dance to The Aggie Song from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Video at the end. YEE-HAW!

Better than an Aggie football game?

They’ve never seen a body quite like this!

Right between the goals!

75 miles until we get to heaven;

75 miles until our plans are laid,

75 miles until we get to The Chicken Ranch

Where history and Aggie Boys get made.

 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT) and Welcome to the New Girls and Boys

Wednesday, April 27, 2016 – Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT) and Welcome to the New Girls and Boys

I noticed some new faces on Facebook and decided I needed to channel in Madeline Hunter, Patron Saint of Education to do some reteaching about HWIT. So pay attention because this is Texas education you know there will be an assessment at some point down the road.

Two years ago I created a blog called Here’s What I’m Thinking (HWIT). Last year I connected HWIT to Facebook. In spite of many and seeming non related postings it is spiritually based and inspired. It was indeed a leap of faith to put your daily journal online.

The purpose of HWIT is to make at least one person smile/laugh and/or think five days a week. One does not have to agree with anything I think about. It is not called Here’s What I Believe.

The business plan to attract readers is “If I have known you in the past or know you in the present, I WILL write about you in the future.” When I do, you better hope you fall into the statistical bell shaped curve within one standard deviation that what I write you is positive or that I change your name. Everyone in my family reads it on a daily basis in fear. Many of my friends and all of my enemies have become regular readers.

Ninety-nine percent of HWIT is my original work. My photographs or my father’s extensive collection of photographs. My writing. My brain. My brain’s unique ability to make weird and hopefully humorous connections for the amusement of others.

When I do have to get a photo from a website, I try to remember to give credit. For example, I do not have a photograph of a tiger. It is difficult to write about LSU without a tiger and I want a photo that I take of a tiger. I was unable to get to Conroe recently to photograph the tiger, tiger burning bright that was captured near Panorama. You just never know what might wash and walk out of East Montgomery County. Sorry, Dr. Madeline was bird walking.

During the first several reads, the topics appear to be random as though the brain is locked into random access mode. If one reads the postings long enough, you can see the logical sequential brain is working and patterns emerge.

During the seasons there is much ado about college football and college basketball. Year round there is much ado about The Fighting Texas Aggies. This also encompasses Baylor, Oklahoma State, THE University of Texas in Austin, LSU, the entire Big 12 or what remains of it and the entire Southeastern (SEC) and teams playing any of the above mentioned. For example, last year I wrote about Uncle Will Muschamp bringing his then Florida team to College Station. I suggested he stay in Hearne. This year when you bring your exploding anger head from South Carolina, I suggest you stay in Bremond.

Because my state of Texas is the boldest and grandest, withstanding every test, you can always count on Texas Our Texas as a topic.

Texas Wall 2 (800x592)

I often discuss the Texas public education system, or what is left of it. Also falling under education you can find the scarlet letter A for ASSESSMENT, B as in Board of Education, C for Common Core and D for Dumbass Leaders. Wait that goes under L for Legislature.

From the File “You cannot recover from being a bureaucrat,” comes politics. This topic is often tied to education. More often, however, it is closer related to the lack of an education. Please know in the current reality TV show known as The US Presidential Election, I display bipartisan viewpoints on all of the candidates. For example, assuming Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump become the Democratic and Republican candidates, I think they should debate dressed as Maud in those long, you know what they are hiding jackets and Archie Bunker. Weren’t Maud and Archie cousins?

Check for understanding. Is there any feedback? I will wait for prescribed number of seconds for your response.

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It used to be eight seconds, but has increased over time due the daily challenges of an educator.

 

Thursday, April 21, 2016 –Softly Call the Muster – Here.

Thursday, April 21, 2016 –Softly Call the Muster – Here.

http://muster.tamu.edu/

“If there is an A&M man in one hundred miles of you, you are expected to get together, eat a little, and live over the days you spent at the A&M College of Texas.”

Texas-A-M-Bonfire-Memorial-5004

In many lands and climes, this April day

Proud sons of Texas A & M unite.

Our loyalty to country, school, we pay,

And seal our pact with bond of common might.

We live again those happy days of yore,

On campus, field, in classroom, hall, at drill.

Fond memory brings a sigh–but nothing more:

Now we are men, and life is one a great thrill!

On fortress isle one year ago today,

A group of gallant Aggies, led by Moore,

Held simple rites which to us all doth say:

The spirit shall prevail o’er cannon roar!

They thought of home and all we hold most dear:

Where are they now–those boys we knew so well?

Ask of the winds, let smile repress a tear,

Think only of their glory when they fell!

Corregidor! forever more a hallowed name

To countless sons of Texans yet unborn;

Symbolic like, it stands for deathless fame:

A shrine sublime till Resurrection morn!

Softly call the muster, Let comrade answer, “Here!”

Their spirits hover ‘round us: As if to bring us cheer!

Mark them “present” in our hearts, We’ll meet some other day.

There is no Death, but Life Eternal

For heroes such as they!

by Dr. John Ashton, Class of 1906

Monday, April 18, 2016 – Way to Give ‘Em the Axe Jacks! NCAA Division I Women’s Bowling National Champs!

Monday, April 18, 2016 – Way to Give ‘Em the Axe Jacks! 2016 NCAA Division I Women’s Bowling National Champs!

Bowling Banner (800x450)

National Championships in any sport are proud moments. Check this out – Last year the Lady Jacks finished second behind Nebraska in the Finals. This year they won and the bowling program/team at SFA is only in its sixth (6th) year of existence.

Since I have every sports channel available, I actually watched the replay last night on ESPNU. You were expecting another network besides ESPN?

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It was quite exciting. Basically, these very strong women, wearing very short skirts and ugly shoes turn their arms and hands into putters and accurately roll a 10 plus pound ball down a narrow wooden lane to knock over large numbers of funny shaped objects called pins.

That is the Nebraska Coach on the left. I am sure he could also be a physics professor on the side. The SFA assistant coach is on the right. Note: His wife is actually the Bowling Coach. I wonder if those pants he is wearing come in my size. I got to get me some of those. You too, RL and Longmire.

The teams play the best 4 of 7 games.  SFA won game seven by crushing (shall we say chopping) the Corn Huskers by over 50 points or pins.

Wait to go Ladies!!!

My two new favorite T-Shirts will be.

Stephen F. Austin State University NCAA National Champs Women’s Bowling.

Ax'Em Jacks!

Texas A&M University NCAA National Championship – Men’s Polo. No photo available.  It is not as easy to carry your horse as it is to carry a bowling ball. I understand clean up is more intense also.

Stay dry.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

While we anxiously await the results of tonight’s reality show live from New York – The United States Presidential Elections – let’s take a look at what you missed in other news.

First News from the Royal Families:

From India: Did you see Kate Middleton playing cricket in those high heels? You go, Girl!

From the Brazos Valley: Make that Sir Quarterback. His Royal Highness and his peeps appointed Trevor Knight as starting quarterback for the 2016 Texas Aggie Football Season.

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Knight was named MVP of the 2014 Sugar Bowl when he led Oklahoma to a 45–31 upset of two-time reigning national champion Alabama.

From Golf: Jordon Spieth – I think it would have been pretty funny too if you had dropped The Green Jacket twice as you put it on this year’s champion – what is his name again?

From DWTS: Looking good as Prince Charming, last night, Von Miller.

Second News from the Weird and Strange and Just Downright Awful

Johnny Manziel is my new roommate. He is staying and paying until he makes up for the dollars I spent on buying his shit.

From the land of “Take me back to Dixie” come the ghosts of George Wallace and Jesse Helms – Alabama, and North Carolina – we have the reincarnation of the current governors of Mississippi and North Carolina.

From these backwards thinking minds comes legislation regarding who can pee where. When did one’s need to pee become a need to legislate? Please use the bathroom with the urinary disposal system you were born with? How in the hell are you going to enforce this? I am not buying this shit either.

 

Ship wreck 4

Third News from World of The Let’s Make a Deal

The “good money” Proposal

From some faithful and loyal readers of HWIT, I received the following proposal yesterday:

“BTW – we would pay good money to see a video of you throwing your clubs in the water, jumping in after them, thrashing wildly while screaming and cursing just sayin.”

Here is my Counter Proposal – Pick a definition of “good money” and bring it!

  • Must be at the 12th Hole in Augusta at The Masters – you pay for my trip to The Masters and my videographers
  • The purse Jordon Speith received
  • New clubs after mine are in the water
  • A tailgate weekend at my house when Johnny Manziel moves out.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016 – And Then There Were Four – As in Four for UConn

Tuesday, March 29, 2016 – And Then There Were Four – As in Four for UConn

And then there were four teams from the Women’s basketball NCAA Division I. And Then There were four teams on the Men’s basketball NCAA division I. Then there were none – None of the teams of either gender that I care about.

Headed to Women’s Final Four in Indianapolis, Indiana for the UConn Invitational will Geno and the Giants, the Beavers of Oregon State, the Huskies of Washington (Dub is actually an Alaskan Malamute) and the Orange Fluff Ball from Syracuse. Otto the Orange

Should have used last year’s bracket.W Bracket

Headed to the men’s Final Four in Houston are Oklahoma, University of North Carolina, Villanova and the Orange Fluff Ball from Syracuse. FYI  – The Orange Fluff Ball is named – Otto the Orange.

Headed to assist the Baylor softball and baseball teams to assist the pitching coaches will Kim Mulkey. For the sports challenged – in an act of frustration during last evenings Baylor/Oregon State game, Baylor women’s coach Kim Mulkey threw her most beautiful and very expensive gold jacket a good thirty yards in an act of frustration. Next year, Coach Mulkey, since you know going to receive a Technical foul anyway, throw your jacket at the referees. (NCAA Rule Violation Section IX, Paragraph 6, Part B, Sentence one – Jacket Throwing). Apparently the only three people in the arena and across ESPN who did not see the Oregon State player hold on to the Baylor player for good 1.4 seconds were the three referees standing within three feet.

How many days until football season kicks off?Panoramic view (800x284)

March 24, 2016 – Holy Week and I Think Jesus Would Have Played Sports

 

March 24, 2016 – Holy Week and I Think Jesus Would Have Played Sports

I think Jesus probably would have played sports. Of course the only sport of the day was having the Christians eaten by lions and other forms of torture and He was not into that until the end. Thank God. He did seem to enjoy fishing.

I think He would have played soccer, baseball and golf and all other sports. Why those three? Not only are those thinking sports, they are sports known for their diplomacy and etiquette and breaking social and political norms and rules across all geopolitical barriers.

He was good at basketball too – of course He could play all five positions, but is best at point guard. He already had a team – The Disciples.

Of course He would have played football. In Texas football is a religion. I think He would be #1 high school QB, then #1 college QB, and then first round draft choice, and then #1 in the NFL.

But back to Holy Week. For all of us whose religious beliefs go back to The Kneeling Faiths, it is Maundy Thursday. Thus begins The Easter Vigils when Christians celebrate The Last Supper, the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Christ.

So tonight begins my Easter Vigil. Of course there will be wine and candles and prayers offered. My Easter Vigil begins at 6:37 CST and not one minute SOONER!

BTHO OU!!!

The XIT Wagon (800x600)

Isn’t this a Sooner Schooner?

So here’s to Jesus and The Disciples and The Fighting Texas Aggies Men’s basketball team. Both are great at come backs!

A. Caruso (800x450)

He is so cute!!!