Tag Archives: Dancing with the Stars

Wednesday, August 31, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars or Shoot Me Now!

Wednesday, August 31, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars or Shoot Me Now!

Grab your hot glue and glitter handguns. It is almost time to watch the Has Beens try to dance. Here is this season’s line up for Dancing With the Stars (DWTS).

Maureen McCormack – There’s a story; bout a man named Brady… Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

Ryan Lochte – you said you were going to hang up your Speedo. Didn’t Speedo hang up on you along with your other sponsors? May I suggest you dance to The Eagles’ Lying Eyes?

Laurie Hernandez – Go Laurie! The Mirror Ball will look nice next to your gold medals.

Amber Rose – Have no idea who you are, but I do like your name.

Tara Joley – Have no idea who you are either.

Marilu Henner – She has one of those perfect memories where she forgets nothing.

Rick Perry – The longest reigning governor of Texas will be doing the Texas two-step since he can only remember two things. Oops. Can you possibly embarrass the state and Texas A&M anymore? I would like to forget everything about you. Seeing you in glitter doing the desperation samba makes my stomach hurt.

Jake T. Austin – ?

Calvin Johnson – Football player. A wide receiver for Detroit Lions known as Megatron – ? Who in Texas watches Detroit? Only when they play the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Note to the producers of DWTS: Tony Romo should be available next season.

Kenny Baby Face Edmonds – ?

Vanilla Ice – Really? Was MC Hammer not available?

James Hinchcliff – Race car driver

Jana Kramer – a country western singer I never heard of.

What else can I watch on TV that promises to be as exciting and entertaining as DWTS? How about CSPAN?

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

From DKR Memorial Stadium – Austin, Texas. Photo by me.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

I saw that Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) will soon release its contestants for next season. Here’s What I’m Thinking – Let’s do an all political one.

Austin Graffitti Wall 8.24.13 2013-08-24 008

Austin Graffitti Wall 2013 – photo by me

Here is my list of who I would like to see on DWTS. Who would you like to see in high definition jumping and flopping around with little clothing? And at what dance would they excel?  And of course, who would take home the Mirror Ball?

  1. The defeated one in the presidential bid.
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Marco Rubio
  4. Elizabeth Warren
  5. John Boehner
  6. Ted Cruz
  7. Nancy Pelosi
  8. Mitt Romney
  9. Nikki Haley
  10. Chris Christie

    Bush Library 6.10.15 2015-06-10 024 (800x597)

    George H.W. Bush Library – 2015 photo by me

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

While we anxiously await the results of tonight’s reality show live from New York – The United States Presidential Elections – let’s take a look at what you missed in other news.

First News from the Royal Families:

From India: Did you see Kate Middleton playing cricket in those high heels? You go, Girl!

From the Brazos Valley: Make that Sir Quarterback. His Royal Highness and his peeps appointed Trevor Knight as starting quarterback for the 2016 Texas Aggie Football Season.

Panoramic view (800x284)

Knight was named MVP of the 2014 Sugar Bowl when he led Oklahoma to a 45–31 upset of two-time reigning national champion Alabama.

From Golf: Jordon Spieth – I think it would have been pretty funny too if you had dropped The Green Jacket twice as you put it on this year’s champion – what is his name again?

From DWTS: Looking good as Prince Charming, last night, Von Miller.

Second News from the Weird and Strange and Just Downright Awful

Johnny Manziel is my new roommate. He is staying and paying until he makes up for the dollars I spent on buying his shit.

From the land of “Take me back to Dixie” come the ghosts of George Wallace and Jesse Helms – Alabama, and North Carolina – we have the reincarnation of the current governors of Mississippi and North Carolina.

From these backwards thinking minds comes legislation regarding who can pee where. When did one’s need to pee become a need to legislate? Please use the bathroom with the urinary disposal system you were born with? How in the hell are you going to enforce this? I am not buying this shit either.


Ship wreck 4

Third News from World of The Let’s Make a Deal

The “good money” Proposal

From some faithful and loyal readers of HWIT, I received the following proposal yesterday:

“BTW – we would pay good money to see a video of you throwing your clubs in the water, jumping in after them, thrashing wildly while screaming and cursing just sayin.”

Here is my Counter Proposal – Pick a definition of “good money” and bring it!

  • Must be at the 12th Hole in Augusta at The Masters – you pay for my trip to The Masters and my videographers
  • The purse Jordon Speith received
  • New clubs after mine are in the water
  • A tailgate weekend at my house when Johnny Manziel moves out.