Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.
While we anxiously await the results of tonight’s reality show live from New York – The United States Presidential Elections – let’s take a look at what you missed in other news.
First News from the Royal Families:
From India: Did you see Kate Middleton playing cricket in those high heels? You go, Girl!
From the Brazos Valley: Make that Sir Quarterback. His Royal Highness and his peeps appointed Trevor Knight as starting quarterback for the 2016 Texas Aggie Football Season.
Knight was named MVP of the 2014 Sugar Bowl when he led Oklahoma to a 45–31 upset of two-time reigning national champion Alabama.
From Golf: Jordon Spieth – I think it would have been pretty funny too if you had dropped The Green Jacket twice as you put it on this year’s champion – what is his name again?
From DWTS: Looking good as Prince Charming, last night, Von Miller.
Second News from the Weird and Strange and Just Downright Awful
Johnny Manziel is my new roommate. He is staying and paying until he makes up for the dollars I spent on buying his shit.
From the land of “Take me back to Dixie” come the ghosts of George Wallace and Jesse Helms – Alabama, and North Carolina – we have the reincarnation of the current governors of Mississippi and North Carolina.
From these backwards thinking minds comes legislation regarding who can pee where. When did one’s need to pee become a need to legislate? Please use the bathroom with the urinary disposal system you were born with? How in the hell are you going to enforce this? I am not buying this shit either.
Third News from World of The Let’s Make a Deal
The “good money” Proposal
From some faithful and loyal readers of HWIT, I received the following proposal yesterday:
“BTW – we would pay good money to see a video of you throwing your clubs in the water, jumping in after them, thrashing wildly while screaming and cursing just sayin.”
Here is my Counter Proposal – Pick a definition of “good money” and bring it!
- Must be at the 12th Hole in Augusta at The Masters – you pay for my trip to The Masters and my videographers
- The purse Jordon Speith received
- New clubs after mine are in the water
- A tailgate weekend at my house when Johnny Manziel moves out.