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Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

Posted on April 12, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

While we anxiously await the results of tonight’s reality show live from New York – The United States Presidential Elections – let’s take a look at what you missed in other news.

First News from the Royal Families:

From India: Did you see Kate Middleton playing cricket in those high heels? You go, Girl!

From the Brazos Valley: Make that Sir Quarterback. His Royal Highness and his peeps appointed Trevor Knight as starting quarterback for the 2016 Texas Aggie Football Season.

Panoramic view (800x284)

Knight was named MVP of the 2014 Sugar Bowl when he led Oklahoma to a 45–31 upset of two-time reigning national champion Alabama.

From Golf: Jordon Spieth – I think it would have been pretty funny too if you had dropped The Green Jacket twice as you put it on this year’s champion – what is his name again?

From DWTS: Looking good as Prince Charming, last night, Von Miller.

Second News from the Weird and Strange and Just Downright Awful

Johnny Manziel is my new roommate. He is staying and paying until he makes up for the dollars I spent on buying his shit.

From the land of “Take me back to Dixie” come the ghosts of George Wallace and Jesse Helms – Alabama, and North Carolina – we have the reincarnation of the current governors of Mississippi and North Carolina.

From these backwards thinking minds comes legislation regarding who can pee where. When did one’s need to pee become a need to legislate? Please use the bathroom with the urinary disposal system you were born with? How in the hell are you going to enforce this? I am not buying this shit either.

Ship wreck 4

Third News from World of The Let’s Make a Deal

The “good money” Proposal

From some faithful and loyal readers of HWIT, I received the following proposal yesterday:

“BTW – we would pay good money to see a video of you throwing your clubs in the water, jumping in after them, thrashing wildly while screaming and cursing just sayin.”

Here is my Counter Proposal – Pick a definition of “good money” and bring it!

Must be at the 12th Hole in Augusta at The Masters – you pay for my trip to The Masters and my videographers
The purse Jordon Speith received
New clubs after mine are in the water
A tailgate weekend at my house when Johnny Manziel moves out.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015 – Jackson!

Posted on March 25, 2015 | 1 comment

Wednesday, March 25, 2015 – Jackson!

Today we continue our discussion of the two greatest authors from Mississippi. Since I learned that Florence King is not truly from the state, we are back to two greats. Yesterday we talked about Jill Conner Browne and today we will discuss William Cuthbert Faulkner. Tell me Cuthbert is not a family name.

Since I have to prepare for going to the Zippity Do Dah Parade, and everybody has heard of William Faulkner, I am going to skip the discussion and draw a chart showing the comparison and contrast between Jill Conner Browne and William Cuthbert Faulkner. I know that comparing and contrasting those two is like apples and oranges, oil and water, or any other dichotomous elements resulting from extreme differentiating social factors. Sorry did not realize my doctor hat was still on for that last part.

William Cuthbert Faulkner v Jill Conner Browne

William Cuthbert Faulkner (WCF)	Jill Conner Browne (JCB)
Born and raised in Mississippi	Born and raised in Mississippi
Writes about The South	Writes about The South
WCF wrote in not easy to read, and even more difficult to comprehend long, convoluted, passages in a circular writing style with sentences that sometimes ran together creating giant run on sentences, that could go on for pages like this one.	JCB writes simple, easy to read and easy to understand sentences like this one.
Reading level for his works – nerdy American Literature majors and really smart people who like to read about The South.	Reading level for her works – Mississippi state reading standard. Note: “We’re not Mississippi!”
Laugh out loud only you when finally recognize just how dark the humor lies in As I Lay Dying.	Laugh out loud – early and often.
Creates a host of crazy characters representing the essence of Southern culture.	Creates host of crazy characters representing the essence of Southern culture. FYI – we call it Southern Hospitality.
Had a mustache	Probably has a mustache, but waxes
Is required reading for high school. Oh the sound and the fury the chillren make when it is assigned.	Should be required reading for everyone. It would explain a lot.