Monday, September 14, 2020 – The COVID Monday after College Football Awards

While it is true that Here’s What I’m Thinking has been in semi-quarantine (grocery store and gym), the truer reason is this. It is so dang hard to be happy and cheerful during The COVID Era. But perhaps the return of college football will spark some energy.

The awards usually follow a Snarky Friday about teams, but it just didn’t seem appropriate since last Friday was 9/11. Nineteen years later I still remember every detail from the moment the American Airlines plane I was on sat down in New Orleans until I reached Austin.

But let me see if I have any awards to hand out.

Let’s begin with an award that goes to every team that played. May I present you with the It Shows That There Was No Spring Practice Award. Most teams looked as though they would have difficulty against Our Sisters of the Perpetually Poor. Games were filled with false starts, illegal motions, lack of timing and favorite poor tackling.

The Blow-Out/Upset Award goes to each winning school in the Big 12 Conference. As in previous years, there are only ten universities and only four are located in Texas.

But if your Big 12 school won, it was a blow out. If your Big 12 lost, it was an upset. Better luck next week.

There is no Poopy Undies Award because games were not really close in score. Oh wait. Let’s give a Poopy Undies Award to Tortilla Tech who barely beat Houston Baptist 35 to 33. Houston Baptist? Nobody goes to HB to play football.

The award for No Spittle in the Air goes to the referee crews who used some kind of whistling gadget that when a button is pushed a shrill whistling sound can be heard in the next county. This was used rather than whistles to avoid spit droplets. (Most used a Fox 40 Classic – you can get one at your Walmart)

I would be remiss if I did not give The Cardboard Fan Cut Out Award to each team. Strange, but less booing of teams and referees,

However, the best award goes to B. J. Forester formerly of THE University of Texas at Austin. Mr. Forester receives the “Not ‘til Gabriel Blows His Horn for Me Award” for leaving the game and quitting the team in the third quarter.

Perhaps next week’s games will be more exciting. Bad football is better than no football. We can continue to wait until real college football season begins when the SEC plays. It just means more.

Stay safe. Wear a mask.