Category Archives: Native Texan

Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

When something bad happens with the Aggies, we call it Bad Bull. Nobody exemplified that better than the two Bad Bull Dumbass football coaches for Texas A&M at the Women’s Chalk Talk Clinic this week. As soon as it hit the news that “the presentation slides were too vulgar to be shown on TV,” we all took to our computers and tablets to see what you said. Where did you get your slide presentation, Baylor? Sorry, that was a low blow to The Bears and certainly not very Christian, but the point is your attitudes and college football’s attitudes toward women.

I realize the Aggies plan a throw-back uniform day to honor the 1957 Heisman Trophy Winner, John David Crow, but that does not include the attitudes from the 1950’s.  In fact, I cannot think of a time period when your words would have been acceptable – perhaps cave man era. You would never give a presentation with such vulgar innuendoes if your mother, sister, girlfriend, wife were in the attendance. I hope that they are as ashamed and embarrassed by your behavior as every other woman is. Even I was offended and it usually takes a lot to offend me.

Of course, Mack Brown, you did not help the situation by saying “I never lost a women’s coaching clinic.” This is probably true, but I was at a women’s football clinic, on THE University of Texas campus when Coach Brown turned white as the proverbial sheet when a women stood and asked “Why did you replace Major Applewhite with Chris Simms as QB?”

Please stop it with the underestimating our football intelligence and listen up and listen up GOOD, coaches. You cannot continue to view and treat women as your fantasy blow up dolls by giving presentations with vulgar, sexual, rude, degrading, and chauvinistic language. You must stop continuing to foster this type of climate on college campuses whether it is football or physics club.

Both of the TAMU presenters are Assistant Coaches. That means somebody supervises them. Where were you, Coach Supervisor? And ultimately it is Head Coach Sumlin’s responsibility. Coach Kevin, you really need to get the boys under control. A two-week suspension without pay should be “suspended indefinitely without pay.”   However, as Ron White says “You can’t fix stupid.”

I hope both of the ass’t coaches learn from this experience and stay in “Assistant Coach Hell” indefinitely.

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Tailgating 2015 – Alabama Game. Team march in led by Sumlin. Photo by me.

Thursday, August 4, 2016 – Not the Only One Ready for Football

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I guess I am not the only one ready for some college football. Loved all of the snarky responses yesterday. Here are my responses to your responses:

Stephen F. Austin State – Alma mater to degree # 1. Ax ‘Em Jacks. “Oh future bright, neath the purple and white, all hail to SFA…”

Ax'Em Jacks!

Sam Houston State Bear Kats –Alma mater to degree # 2. All SHSU sports are covered by the TV channels in Bryan – so cool. Teach me some cheers, Telisha.

Northwestern – go DEFENSE! Cousin Darryl (but not my other Cousin Darryl) is Defensive Coordinator. Go Demons! But not against SFA or Sam Houston!

Texas Tech – I shall anxiously await my case of tortillas. Will they be arriving by Fed Ex or a TT EX on a horse? Please know I will throw them at the TV when TT plays OU and those other schools like Kansas and Iowa State that really need to concentrate on basketball.  Go Kliff!

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Alabama – I hope my readership does not fall off either, JH. I was under the impression that the four from Alabama and/or who support the Tide and who actually read HWIT represented the entire literacy of the state. Just to clarify you know I will yell “Roll Tide” when you meet Auburn, South Carolina (or any school coached by Uncle Will “Exploding Head” Muschamp), any school from Florida and any team that Bama plays that will help Texas A&M look better in the SEC West. Also, should Larry Culpepper be hawking Dr. Peppers as Alabama prepares for another National Championship in January, I will put Roll Tide on my banner.

Texas A&M – Alma mater to degree #3. Being an equal opportunity Snark my Aggies get an entire post tomorrow. Some Bad Bull.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

If you have followed Here’s What I’m Thinking or read the descriptor you know is reads:

Short paragraphs about whatever I am thinking. I like to think about my favorite topics: College football, the state of Texas, the public school educational institution, politics and life in general.

Refining that somewhat further, I write about Texas Aggie Football. In addition I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. This includes, but is not limited to, LSU, selected schools in the Southeast Conference, and any team playing any football team from Florida.

I like teams from the Big Please Come to My Party Conference, formerly known as The Big XII. But I only like these schools Baylor, THE University of Texas, and Oklahoma State University.

And I root for the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin in Nacogdoches and Northwestern in Naco’s brother’s founded town of Natchitoches. And I root for the Bear Kats from Sam Houston State.

First though – you Crimson Rolling Tide bunch of hackers – When I wrote in January of 2016 “Happy Birthday to us all. Roll Tide”, it was to cheer for the National NCAA Division I Football Championship. Somehow it became part of the banner.

It was not supposed to stay up there until July 4 – when I first realized it was still in banner – just above the 12th Man. When I inquired from one of Tide Rollers, as to how long it had been there, I was informed “months” making my horror and shame deepen. They continued “We wondered when you would find it.” Then it took a month to figure how to remove it. Do not expect to see Roll Tide on the HWIT Banner unless it is for another National Championship.

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BTHO UCLA – September 3, 2016 Kyle Field; 2:30 CBS Gig ‘Em.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016 – Cordelia Robeline Laird Faust and Mary Rose Duckworth Duffey

Tuesday, August 2, 2016 – Cordelia Robeline Laird Faust and Mary Rose Duckworth Duffey

You probably recognize my name somewhere in the two names above. Those two lovely women were my grandmothers. I am happy to carry the fine Southern tradition of being named after grandparents.

You might have seen the meme (it’s a picture) on FaceBook that says “99% of a child’s awesomeness comes from their grandmother.” I am not a grandmother, but I am pretty awesome and what I know of my grandmothers, they were pretty awesome too.

Unfortunately none of us knew Cordelia as she would be taken from the Faust family at age 36.  Here is one of the few photographs of Cordelia. Notice the eyes. I have them. Smokey Horn had them and one of the other cousins – maybe Jerry – has them.

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However, many were fortunate to know Mamaw Duffey or Aunt Rose as she lived to a grand age of 86 (I think).

Rose steps

The rest of me appears to be Mamaw Duffey. Tall, thin (thank you Lord), and armed with “the Duckworth tongue.” The Duckworth women (and there were five of them if you count Old Mama) were known for their, shall we say family leadership? I believe my grandfather referred to them as “ramrods.” Every woman in my family has the Duckworth gene – we can take you down with words so acerbic you will not know what hit you. We can tell you go to Hell in such a way that you are looking forward to the trip.

I have no conclusions other than I was blessed to have some awesome grandmothers. I hope you did too and I know there are many awesome grandmothers out there.

 

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

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Montgomery County Go Texan Photo – early 1970’s (I think). Used with permission. (sorta)

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Photo by HB. Damn – still look like that, including orthopedic shoes.

Whoopie Yi Ky Yea! Or as Texas Tech says “Guns Up!” I am going get me a pink skirt with white fringe on the bottom, grab my black Patsy Cline, pearl snap button shirt, jump into my best cowgirl boots (the Lucchese lizard ones) and get me a pink, matching holster and handgun with a pink grip. As of January 1, Texans could openly carry a hand gun on your hip, just like Wyatt Earp and Annie Oakley.

Then there is campus carry. As of today in Texas if you are 21 years old, have a concealed handgun license you can carry your firearm on certain college campuses. Handguns in your school’s colors. What a concept. Get yours at the campus bookstore now.

One is not allowed to carry their weapon in to residence halls, child care centers and ticketed sporting events. Heck, if I were going to shoot somebody, it would probably be in one of those places. “I am trying to study! Turn down your music or I will come shoot you!”

I understand the University of Houston has installed state of the art gun safes to store handguns as carriers move into places where their gun is not allowed. I wanted to carry a gun for my one semester at the U of H in 1972.

At Texas A&M there are certain areas on campus where one can openly campus carry their gun. I hope if there is a shooter on campus he (or she) is in one of those areas and not in a residence hall, childcare center or ticketed sporting event. Does that mean I can carry my gun to intermural events? I can have beer at an intermural and sometimes at ticketed sporting events, but I cannot drive a car with an open beer.  I don’t think you can ride with me either if you have an open container of alcohol.

Most bars have signs barring guns inside. A strictly regulated sign must be displayed. It has 30.07 for NO open carry and 30.06 for NO concealed firearms. Alcohol and firearms with “Don’t take your guns to town, Son; leave your guns at home” playing on the sound system – not a good mix.

THE University of Texas at Austin has a listing of regulations and policies regarding campus carry.

The debut of the Texas gun law falls on the 50th Anniversary of the deadly mass shooting at The University of Texas in 1966 where 17 people, including an unborn child were killed by Charles Whitman –a crazy person on a college campus with a gun.

I wonder if it too late to go to law school.

Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

We, the People of the United States of America… have spoken leaving the nation with a couple of ringtail tooters seeking the highest office – The President of the United States. We have the first woman to run on the ticket of a major party and the first man to run on the ticket of a major party that did not come up through the traditional political rank and file.

Did you know that the framers of the constitution actually disagreed and argued over those first three words of what became The Preamble to The United States Constitution – We, the People? The Southern delegation and others argued it should read “We, the States.” The Federalists (J. Madison, A. Hamilton, et. al.) countered with “the people are the states.”

I suppose We the People will watch this unfold in real time social media from now until November. Watching the news makes me want to wear a hazmat suit and realize being a hermit or recluse is not that bad.

The following song is from one of my favorite musicals, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. It is fitting and appropriate for both candidates. Here is the fabulous Charles Durning’s version of Sidestep from the movie,

“Cut a little swath and lead the people on!….

Enjoy and Happy Friday. God Bless Texas.

Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

“I know a place where we can go…” Just off of FM 1774 where Montgomery, Grimes and Waller Counties come together is Henry’s Hideout. I have devised a quiz for you regarding this place. Henry’s definitely deserves a historical marker – even if it a personal, coming of age type marker. Growing up in Magnolia, I was forbidden to even drive by the place.

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Give yourself one point for each answer you answer with “YES.”

  1. Have you ever been there?
  2. Have you ever had a cold beer there?
  3. Have you ever had a cold beer AND a barbeque sandwich there?
  4. Do you know what Henry’s last name was?
  5. Have you ever danced a two-step and Cotton Eyed Joe in the dancehall there?
  6. Have you ever participated, witnessed or broken up a fight there?
  7. Have you ever played in a band there?
  8. Have you ever sung on stage with the band there – whether you were supposed to or not?
  9. Have you ever celebrated Genevieve’s birthday there?
  10. Would you like to be there now?

If you said NO to the first question, you should plan a trip. If you answered YES to the first question I would love to hear your stories.

Many of you should not lie and say NO because I was with you when we did numbers two through nine. I wish we could do number 10 together today. Thank goodness there were no digital cameras or phones. Oh, I scored a perfect 10.

 

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

I woke up this morning still trying to determine what decade I am in. I think it is still 1968.

When Paul Simon stepped on stage last night at the Democratic National Convention, you just knew he was going to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water. Like the shape many believe America to be in, his voice was raspy and maybe not able to hit to high notes so well, but it was still beautiful. When the song is perfect, it is not the voice that sings it, but the words the voice sings.

Then came The Bern and Senator Sanders’ video featuring America. Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they’ve all come to look for America. The only thing missing during that concert scene was the Bic lighters.

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Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Michelle Obama all spoke at the last night’s convention. Regardless of your candidate, you must admit they were all better speakers that the previous ones from last week who said “Vote for my Daddy.”

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Cory Booker – What a Hotty and a Stanford graduate, and played football. Go Cardinal. Now he is the first Black Senator from New Jersey. Wow, those gifted and talented children do come in all colors, shapes and sizes!

Elizabeth Warren – “I come from Oklahoma and went to a commuter college in Texas.” That is definitely a definition of a First Genner – the first of one’s family to attend college. Her undergraduate college would be the University of Houston, once known as Cougar High, once known as home of Phi Slamma Jamma, but still has a beautiful mascot named Shasta. Shasta will look good in The Big 12 Conference.

Anyway, back to Simon and Garfunkel. The year 1968 was a good year for songs. Check out the top 100 songs of 1968. Simon and Garfunkel had two in the top 100. http://www.musicoutfitters.com/topsongs/1968.htm

I know these tunes blasted from my dorm room and up and down the hall of Dorm 18 from other stationary technology music machines on the lovely campus of Stephen F. Austin in 1968. I know you can sing a few words to all them. All of the songs would be appropriate for either campaign.

And Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know…

If you are really bored, check out the video of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. The more things change; the more they stay the same. And We, The People are still here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Iye1NQy1NY

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Right off the gavel “Within minutes, CNN was reporting that the DNC Rules Committee had relieved Wasserman Schultz of her role as convention chair and replaced her with Ohio Rep. Marcia Fudge. “ Really? The Democratic National Convention RULES Committee is now chaired by a woman whose last name is Fudge? As in Fudge the Rules?

What is on the agenda tonight?

The first guess speaker at tonight’s Democratic National Convention is Charlie Brown’s teacher. Let’s listen to a portion of what she will say.

Wha wha wha; Blah, blah, blah;Wha wha wha wha; Blah.

Can’t wait to hear more of that tonight. There are other big political names scheduled to speak tonight. Michelle Obama also takes the podium this evening. I wonder if she will plagarize Melania Trump’s speech.

One never knows, but it sounds as though the indoors will be boring. It is the outdoors that is going to be interesting. What year is this? 1968 all over again? Where are we? Chicago? Is this one of the flashbacks our parents warned us about? (J. Buffet)  Or am I witnessing history repeat itself? YIPPIE(S)!

According to Yahoo, planned protests include:

Some will call for voters to “deregister” from the major parties. Some are planning to block thoroughfares used to transport delegates to and from the arena. Some will be staging a “Mock Trial of Hillary Clinton.” Some are willing to be arrested.

Some will be marching a 51-foot inflatable marijuana joint from City Hall to the Wells Fargo Center.

That takes some really big Zig Zags! I cannot wait to see that in high definition!

Regardless of how one feels about the soon not to be presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, you must admit you will witness history.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/unconventional-43-dnc-day-one-000000574.html

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Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

In honor of the end of the Republican National Convention and the start of the Democratic National Convention, I present to you for your Snarky Friday – Jabberwocky.

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Jabberwocky is considered one of the greatest nonsense poems written in English. I am guessing there may one or two from the intelligentsia who will make the connection of Jabberwocky to the political landscape of the day. Pick your personal jabberwock, but beware  of “the frumious Bandersnatch!”

JABBERWOCKY

Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,  And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!   The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun   The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:   Long time the manxome foe he sought — So rested he by the Tumtum tree,   And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,   The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,   And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through   The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head   He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?   Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’   He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogves,   And the mome raths outgrabe.