Category Archives: Misc.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 – Thank you Gene Wilder

Tuesday, August 30, 2016 – Thank you Gene Wilder

For what we are about to see next we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.

That’s Fronkensteen!

Pardon me, boy? Is this the Transylvania Station? Ya. Track 29. Can I give you a shine?

What knockers! Thank you Doctor.

Would the Doctor care for a brandy before retiring? No. Thank you. Some varm milk? No. Thank you very much. Some Ovaltine?

Destiny! Destiny! No escaping destiny!

The you and Victor were… Yes! Yes! Say it! He was my BOYFRIEND!

It could be worse; it could be raining.

Igor. Would you mind telling me whose brain I put it? Abbie Someone. Abbie Normal.

SEDAGIVE??!!

Thank you Gene Wilder for taking us laughing into your realm of genius. RIP.

11.10.15 Veterans Park 2015-09-27 013

Monday, August 29, 2016 – At Last. My Love Has Come Along. First Monday Awards.

Monday, August 29, 2016 – At Last. My Love Has Come Along. First Monday Awards.

At Last… My love has come along. I can just hear Etta James singing. That Beyoncé girl’s version is pretty good too.

At_Last_Etta_James

The first week of college football is here. I know there were a few games last week. The only one I watched was North Dakota Bison and Southern Charleston Buccaneers. Therefore, the first Monday After Saturday College Football Awards go to that game. Why I am interested in North Dakota? Ask Sam Houston State alums.

The Best Game award goes to North Dakota and Charleston Southern. An OT victory is always exciting.

The Bless his Heart Award goes to the kicker for Charleston Southern for missing the go ahead extra point to end the game in regulation. North Dakota would score on the first play of OT.

The Chatty Cathy Award goes to the announcer of the North Dakota and  Southern Charleston game – Mack Brown. Do you get paid by the word or by the number of seconds per response? I do not need nor want to hear a 41 second history of each player dating back to his Pop Warner years. Nor do I care about how you did it at THE University of Texas. Can’t speak of my UT friends, but I doubt they give a Bevo drop either and haven’t since 2005.

Corrections and update from Friday’s AP top 25.

  • UCLA Bruins not Bears. The Golden Bear is Jack Nicklaus.
  • Notre Dame and THE University play on Sunday night. Beware of church schools that play on Sunday.
  • To Tennessee – thank you for remembering Pat Summit by wearing a decal on your helmet. Typical Coach Summit – first female to be remembered on a football helmet.

At last my love has arrived and the first of college football week begins.

BTHO ucla.

 

Thursday, August 25, 2016 – Pick up Your Class Schedule in Mr. Lyon’s Office. Or Girls Don’t Take Physics!

Thursday, August 25, 2016 – Pick up Your Class Schedule in Mr. Lyon’s Office. Or Girls Don’t Take Physics!

The way back school bus takes us back to August 1966 to Magnolia High School, Magnolia, Texas.

Neon Sign (800x450)

To register for your classes at MHS one stopped by Mr. Lyon’s office and picked up the class schedule he had prepared for you. When you walked in he handed you a form that listed (in cursive handwriting) what classes you would take. Mine looked something like:

Homemaking IV – Brown

Civics – Forgot the coach’s name

Typing II – Traugh

Bookkeeping – Coach Jackson

Shorthand – Graves

English IV – Traugh

And

Band – Ayers.

As Paul Harvey used to say “And now the rest of the story.”

I stared at the classes listed. Mr. Lyon asked “Is something wrong?” To this day I get a lump in my throat same as the day 50 years ago when I timidly replied “I want to take Mr. Michael’s physics class.”

Mr. L. – Why? Girls don’t take or need physics. You will be better served taking girl type classes like bookkeeping, typing and shorthand. Why on earth would you want to take physics?

Me: (Stammering and about to throw up) – I like science. I am going to college and want to be a doctor and I think physics might be more helpful.

Mr. L – (Smiling) – No, girls do not need math or physics.

I held back the tears until I walked out of his office and down the hallway passed Mr. Michael’s classroom. By the time I was over the little steps, to my house and almost to my room I was in full fledge teenage girl hysterical mode. My mother was right behind me.

Mama: What’s wrong?

Me: Mr. Lyon will not let me take physics!

Mama: Why not?

Me: Because I am a girl!

I doubt Mama even knew what physics was. All she knew was that the Princess was not getting to do something she wanted to do. Within minutes she had changed from her duster, changed from her house shoes into real shoes and she and I were headed over the little steps and back to Mr. L’s office.

I have no recollection of the discussion – only the result.

Mr. L – OK, Delia, you can take physics if you get another girl to take it with you and you have to go across the hall and tell Celeste why you are not taking her shorthand class. Sidebar: I can still see and hear Celeste say “What do you mean, Rosie, you are not taking my shorthand class?” That was scarier than Mr. Lyon and my mother made me go alone to tell her. FYI – Only Celeste is allowed to call me Rosie.

The other girl? Molly Harper who BTW did take Celeste’s shorthand class.

Today I look back and remember Molly and the two of us taking physics together. I realize just how gifted and talented Molly was. We would have made a great Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper – the experimental physicist and the theoretical physicist. This is in spite of the fact the other five or six people in the physics class usually sabotaged our experiments. They shall remain nameless, but had last names that rhymed with: Lyon, Dean, Glass, Glass, and Clark.

Mr. Lyon  – up there in Principal Heaven – I would go on to take three college level physics courses – 3 hours shy from a minor. One of my professors was female. I did become a doctor, but not the kind that gives shots – the kind I originally want to be. I am the kind that reads and writes.

When I relate this story to great nieces and other young girls, they stare at me in disbelief. This is not to be confused with great nephew # 3 – Conroe High Graduating Class of 2017. He picked up a CD in my car one day and asked “What is Motown?” I cannot begin to describe the look of disbelief on his face when I said “At one time black and white people did not listen to the same type of music. Motown changed all of that.”

The years 1966 and 1967. “ For the times they were a changin.” Even in Magnolia, Texas. We are now at your bus stop. Step off carefully.

Wednesday, August 22, 2016 – From the Institution of Higher Education.

Wednesday, August 22, 2016 – From the Institution of Higher Education. Wearing my doctor hat today – The flat one with the strings on the side. This is for my dear friends who teach from the ivory towers. Welcome College Freshmen!

Good Morning, Freshman. This is Here’s What I’m Thinking 101. Please look at the paper copy of the syllabus and the not one on your device. That reminds me, if any of your devices ring, ding, dong, bong or any other displeasing sounds that interrupt me, please leave the room and consider yourself absent. This includes your handgun. If it goes off, please remember, I have one too.

In addition please do not ask your parents to send the syllabus to you now because you forgot to download the paper one I told you to bring it the first day of class. You should have known this when you were to start the readings for this class two week ago. If you have not accessed my website/blog the address one enters into the browser is DrDrD85.me. This is a college level course that you signed up for. Not your parents. Do not waste their money or my time.

For those of you who can read at the college level and on a piece of paper, you see the name of the course is Here’s What I Am Thinking (HWIT). It is not called Here’s What I Believe. If I wanted you to know what I believe I would have called the course such. I wanted to call it My Brain and Welcome to It, but those who make more money and have more power than I do said no. This includes the Dean of the COE. Sidebar: How many know what COE stands for?

Purpose: The purpose of HWIT is to make at least one person per day smile/laugh and or think about something.

Here are the rules. If I know you now or have known you in the past I WILL write about you. Therefore, it is necessary that you check in daily to ensure that what I have written is not about you that day. Also know that grades are shaped on the bell curve. If you fall under the big bell, it is likely I will use a pseudonym for your name and will have flattering things to say about you. However, if you do not read I will most likely publish your full name and all of your aliases, the coordinates of your home with a link to Google Maps and reveal unflattering stories I know about you.

Snarky Fridays. Fridays from September 2 until the Tide Rolls into the national championship spotlight again are called Snarky Fridays. I will be making comments about the Saturday college football games. It will feature college football teams I like and the teams that play the football teams I like. Your assignment due this Friday is to be prepared to comment on HWIT as we discuss the AP Top 25 NCAA Division I football way too early pre-season poll.

Monday Awards. Mondays from September 5 until Larry Culpepper hands the coach of an SEC school the national championship trophy are called My Monday after Saturday Football Awards.

The rest of the days. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday topics could be about anything, but most likely will revolve around:

  • The grand state of my birth – Texas. Please do not confuse it with THE University of Texas.
  • The educational institution. This will include all aspects of education as a social institution with emphasis on what is left of the Texas public school system. You can vouch for that.
  • The political circus with emphasis on the big circus tent in Austin known as the capitol. That is the correct spelling because I am referring to the building with the DOME and not the PLACE which is the capital of Texas.
  • Anything else I feel like thinking about. Please be aware that I have letters after my name and I post stuff on the Internet and I am on Facebook so everybody believes what I say is true.

Your assignment for tomorrow is to come up with a photograph or representation of what you imagine your brain looks like. Here is an example. This is a cross section of mine. As you can tell there are several dust pockets, but the gears work just fine.

My brain (800x725)

Are there any questions? Good. I know those of you attending THE University of Texas want to get to the campus carry protest early. Please do not attach the sex toy to your backpack until you leave my class. http://www.mystatesman.com/news/news/local/ut-campus-carry-protest-to-feature-sex-toys-calls-/nsKSF/?ecmp=newspaper_email/##

Class dismissed. I am late to the golf course. That is where my office is.

Monday, August 22, 2016 – What Were You Doing 50 Years Ago Today? School Starts Today! Climb Aboard The Way Back School Bus.

Monday, August 22, 2016 – What Were You Doing 50 Years Ago Today? School Starts Today! Climb Aboard The Way Back School Bus.

If you lived in Magnolia, Texas you were about to start your senior year in high school at Magnolia High School. Seniors of what would become the Magnolia High School Graduating Class of 1967 were participating in one of the following activities two weeks before classes began. Sidebar: This was back in the day when people had good sense and schools started after Labor Day.

Rolling down the sacred halls of memories, the MHS Seniors were doing one of the following.

  1. Practicing marching band on the gravel in the hot sun behind the band hall.
  2. Practicing new twirling routines in front of the auditorium in the shade.
  3. Practicing new cheers in front of the band hall in the shade.
  4. Practicing football on the practice field in the sun. It was actually called the baseball field, but MHS did not have a baseball team. It was mostly a dusty pasture like area.
  5. Practicing what every high school student knows. You can always tell a Senior, but you cannot tell one much.

I suppose The MHS Class of 67 was like all 17 and 18 year olds. We knew everything worth knowing and our parents were as stupid as a box of rocks. We knew everything from three TV channels that went off the air at midnight and returned at some unholy hour of the morning like 6:00 AM. We also knew everything because there were these things that were called books and magazines and other items that did not plug in a wall socket or need to charge at night.

We walked to school five miles one way in sleet and snow … OK I walked to school when the sun was shining. If you lived in Magnolia between 1956 and 1967, you know where I lived. Sidebar: We lived at The Sawmill in 1955 in case you were trying to do the John Wax math.

Many have since reminded me – “Your bedroom was almost in Room 10.”

If it was cold or raining, my mother took the princess to school. By the time we got to the detached garage and in the car, I could have been on the front row in Room 10. By the time she drove me the equivalent of one half football field in length to the front of the high school building, I could have already been on the front row of Mrs. Traugh’s classroom or Mr. Wax’s classroom down by the auditorium – the length of the high school hallway. Actually, there was only one hallway. It was the length of the entire building except for the auditorium.

Fifty years ago. As the great 20th Century philosopher Jimmy Buffet says: We are the people our parents warned us about.

Car Plate

Note the handicap license plate. Jimmy Buffet concert, Austin, Tx 2013. Photo by me.

Wow. If I knew then what I know now. I knew everything in August of 1966. To the Magnolia High School Graduating Class of 1967 and the Magnolia High School Graduating Class of 2017 here are some back to school words of wisdom. They come from another great 20th century philosopher who said in 1964…

“…you better start swimmin’

Or you’ll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin’”

Had I only listened. You can always tell a Senior, but you cannot tell one much.

OK – Everybody off the bus. Go Bulldogs!

The Beatles (600x800)

A corner in my office.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

I saw that Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) will soon release its contestants for next season. Here’s What I’m Thinking – Let’s do an all political one.

Austin Graffitti Wall 8.24.13 2013-08-24 008

Austin Graffitti Wall 2013 – photo by me

Here is my list of who I would like to see on DWTS. Who would you like to see in high definition jumping and flopping around with little clothing? And at what dance would they excel?  And of course, who would take home the Mirror Ball?

  1. The defeated one in the presidential bid.
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Marco Rubio
  4. Elizabeth Warren
  5. John Boehner
  6. Ted Cruz
  7. Nancy Pelosi
  8. Mitt Romney
  9. Nikki Haley
  10. Chris Christie

    Bush Library 6.10.15 2015-06-10 024 (800x597)

    George H.W. Bush Library – 2015 photo by me

Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Good morning Teachers!

# 2 Pencils (800x554)

Welcome to our new school year. Before we begin our campus in- service, let’s thank the PTO for the coffee and sodas, donuts and other assorted treats that we probably should not be eating, but that we all need for our stressed out lives as teachers.

Let’s take a look at the agenda for today. As you can see half of you are on campus this morning. At lunch you will switch with those on the gun range this morning obtaining their concealed hand gun and open carry permits.

This brief reminder. You must attend all four sessions this morning. Remember to get your paper stamped to prove your butt was in the room. Don’t forget to drop off your in-service papers to whichever bean counter keeps those numbers.

The sessions are:

TEA Update – This two-part presentation will be the legislative update and strategies for dealing with the results. Part I will discuss current and proposed education legislation that continue to cut budgets, mandate cursive writing and spend hours of time and millions of dollars trying to fix the SNAFU of this year’s assessment program. Part II will share strategies on “how do to everything required by federal and state laws with no resources.”

Bathroom Etiquette or Mrs. Smith? Where do I pee? This presentation discusses transgender restroom issues. You will see the new symbols on designated restroom signs for transgendered students. A tour of the new bathrooms will be done as everyone tries to determine “why is this really necessary?”

Assessment Update, Good Bye STAAR – Don’t thank your lucky STAARs just yet. The only way to make money in education is via assessment. Besides the clean up after this legal, head rolling, legislative probing, fiasco will take months of lawsuits and legislation. Come hear how this tail continues to wag the dog of the educational institution. NOTE: This TEA presentation will be live streaming from Austin. They are not setting foot on a campus until this mess settles down.

Tour the new stadium – Come meet the sponsors of the Booster Clubs as you tour our new, multimillion dollar, state of the art turf field football stadium with a jumbo Tron scoreboard from Star Wars. In addition to increasing your local taxes, you will learn how your group will get very slim proceeds because we need all the money to pay for this erection.

This last announcement. The gun range instructors have asked that those attending this morning sessions allow adequate time to calm down before you come to the gun range. Remember the targets look like this (holding up target) and you will have ample opportunity to release your anger.

Slide1 (800x600)

Have a good day now. Don’t forget. More starches, sugars and caffeine in the back of the library.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

OK – the Temptations did not really sing that last line.

Texas Aggie football practice for the 2016-2017 opened on Monday. This means Aggies everywhere begin the age old hope of “THIS is our year!”

So far so good. As of this morning no players were under arrest or in jail. Only two coaches have been suspended. So far the “Don’t Be Stupid” rule is holding true.

Quarterback Trevor Knight promises to be the Knight in Maroon Satin replacing all mention of our “Bat-crap Crazy Heisman Winner.” Knight has everything going for him.

  1. He is from San Antonio, Texas 2. He attended OU. 3. He rectified his errant ways and transferred to Texas A&M 4. He is dating Sadie Robertson of Duck Dynasty. How you like dat, LSU? 5. He is really handsome!

So here’s to Trevor Knight …

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

BTHO UCLA!

Barn 1 (800x530)

Gig ‘Em Barn – north of Hearne, Texas on Highway 6. Photo by me.

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

What do the following have in common?

  • Jerry Garcia
  • The Grateful Dead
  • The 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team?

Jerome John (Jerry) Garcia died of a heart attack on August 9, 1995. He was lead guitarist and vocalist for the Grateful Dead.

The Grateful Dead sponsored the 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team. In addition to money the Dead sent boxes of tie-dyed clothing. After decades of drab gray Soviet wear, the team was thrilled and wore Dead tie-dye clothing everywhere – even on the Victory Stand when they took home the Bronze.

http://thebigfootdiaries.blogspot.com/2012/07/how-grateful-dead-made-olympic-history.html

Dead Team

 JB, Do you still have your Dead Lithuanian basketball T-shirt? An original on EBay sells for $100 to $300+. You can purchase a reprint for about $25.

God Bless the Grateful Dead and RIP Jerry Garcia. To the rest of us Boomers, Keep on Truckin.

 

Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

When something bad happens with the Aggies, we call it Bad Bull. Nobody exemplified that better than the two Bad Bull Dumbass football coaches for Texas A&M at the Women’s Chalk Talk Clinic this week. As soon as it hit the news that “the presentation slides were too vulgar to be shown on TV,” we all took to our computers and tablets to see what you said. Where did you get your slide presentation, Baylor? Sorry, that was a low blow to The Bears and certainly not very Christian, but the point is your attitudes and college football’s attitudes toward women.

I realize the Aggies plan a throw-back uniform day to honor the 1957 Heisman Trophy Winner, John David Crow, but that does not include the attitudes from the 1950’s.  In fact, I cannot think of a time period when your words would have been acceptable – perhaps cave man era. You would never give a presentation with such vulgar innuendoes if your mother, sister, girlfriend, wife were in the attendance. I hope that they are as ashamed and embarrassed by your behavior as every other woman is. Even I was offended and it usually takes a lot to offend me.

Of course, Mack Brown, you did not help the situation by saying “I never lost a women’s coaching clinic.” This is probably true, but I was at a women’s football clinic, on THE University of Texas campus when Coach Brown turned white as the proverbial sheet when a women stood and asked “Why did you replace Major Applewhite with Chris Simms as QB?”

Please stop it with the underestimating our football intelligence and listen up and listen up GOOD, coaches. You cannot continue to view and treat women as your fantasy blow up dolls by giving presentations with vulgar, sexual, rude, degrading, and chauvinistic language. You must stop continuing to foster this type of climate on college campuses whether it is football or physics club.

Both of the TAMU presenters are Assistant Coaches. That means somebody supervises them. Where were you, Coach Supervisor? And ultimately it is Head Coach Sumlin’s responsibility. Coach Kevin, you really need to get the boys under control. A two-week suspension without pay should be “suspended indefinitely without pay.”   However, as Ron White says “You can’t fix stupid.”

I hope both of the ass’t coaches learn from this experience and stay in “Assistant Coach Hell” indefinitely.

Sumlin (800x620)

Tailgating 2015 – Alabama Game. Team march in led by Sumlin. Photo by me.