Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Good morning Teachers!

Welcome to our new school year. Before we begin our campus in- service, let’s thank the PTO for the coffee and sodas, donuts and other assorted treats that we probably should not be eating, but that we all need for our stressed out lives as teachers.

Let’s take a look at the agenda for today. As you can see half of you are on campus this morning. At lunch you will switch with those on the gun range this morning obtaining their concealed hand gun and open carry permits.

This brief reminder. You must attend all four sessions this morning. Remember to get your paper stamped to prove your butt was in the room. Don’t forget to drop off your in-service papers to whichever bean counter keeps those numbers.

The sessions are:

TEA Update – This two-part presentation will be the legislative update and strategies for dealing with the results. Part I will discuss current and proposed education legislation that continue to cut budgets, mandate cursive writing and spend hours of time and millions of dollars trying to fix the SNAFU of this year’s assessment program. Part II will share strategies on “how do to everything required by federal and state laws with no resources.”

Bathroom Etiquette or Mrs. Smith? Where do I pee? This presentation discusses transgender restroom issues. You will see the new symbols on designated restroom signs for transgendered students. A tour of the new bathrooms will be done as everyone tries to determine “why is this really necessary?”

Assessment Update, Good Bye STAAR – Don’t thank your lucky STAARs just yet. The only way to make money in education is via assessment. Besides the clean up after this legal, head rolling, legislative probing, fiasco will take months of lawsuits and legislation. Come hear how this tail continues to wag the dog of the educational institution. NOTE: This TEA presentation will be live streaming from Austin. They are not setting foot on a campus until this mess settles down.

Tour the new stadium – Come meet the sponsors of the Booster Clubs as you tour our new, multimillion dollar, state of the art turf field football stadium with a jumbo Tron scoreboard from Star Wars. In addition to increasing your local taxes, you will learn how your group will get very slim proceeds because we need all the money to pay for this erection.

This last announcement. The gun range instructors have asked that those attending this morning sessions allow adequate time to calm down before you come to the gun range. Remember the targets look like this (holding up target) and you will have ample opportunity to release your anger.

Have a good day now. Don’t forget. More starches, sugars and caffeine in the back of the library.