Monthly Archives: August 2016

Wednesday, August 17 2016 – Happy Birthday, Honeyboy!

Posted on August 17, 2016 | 3 comments

Wednesday, August 17 2016 – Happy Birthday, Honeyboy!

Randall Edwin Duffey August 17, 1907 to February 18, 2000

Honeyboy

Every person who was fortunate enough to have known my father knows that he lived by and demonstrated these three tenets for over 90 years. We as a family know them, say them during trying times and try to live by them.

  1. Tell at least one person every day that you appreciate them.
  2. Whatever the situation, if you have faith it will all work out.
  3. Whatever the situation there is always lots to be thankful for.

Dear HB,

I wonder what you would have to say about this today. Remember when you were having one of your little spells and the doctor was asking you to state your name, the day of the week and to name the president of the United States? Remember you said “I KNOW who the president of the United States is and I am not going to say his name and I AM NOT going to say his wife’s name either, but I know it.”

Well, his wife is running for President. I can see you shaking your head in disbelief.

We miss you.

Love,

D

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Dale Givens and HB and Fish from Red River???

Fish 2.2.2 Squirrel 2.1.1

Doesn’t my sister, Dale, looked thrilled? Probably as thrilled as my Mother because HB and Dale are wearing white and holding dead animals, which I am sure they ate.

 

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Posted in humor, Native Texan

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

Posted on August 16, 2016 | 4 comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

I saw that Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) will soon release its contestants for next season. Here’s What I’m Thinking – Let’s do an all political one.

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Austin Graffitti Wall 2013 – photo by me

Here is my list of who I would like to see on DWTS. Who would you like to see in high definition jumping and flopping around with little clothing? And at what dance would they excel?  And of course, who would take home the Mirror Ball?

  1. The defeated one in the presidential bid.
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Marco Rubio
  4. Elizabeth Warren
  5. John Boehner
  6. Ted Cruz
  7. Nancy Pelosi
  8. Mitt Romney
  9. Nikki Haley
  10. Chris Christie

    Bush Library 6.10.15 2015-06-10 024 (800x597)

    George H.W. Bush Library – 2015 photo by me

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Posted in humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Posted on August 15, 2016 | 2 comments

Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Good morning Teachers!

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Welcome to our new school year. Before we begin our campus in- service, let’s thank the PTO for the coffee and sodas, donuts and other assorted treats that we probably should not be eating, but that we all need for our stressed out lives as teachers.

Let’s take a look at the agenda for today. As you can see half of you are on campus this morning. At lunch you will switch with those on the gun range this morning obtaining their concealed hand gun and open carry permits.

This brief reminder. You must attend all four sessions this morning. Remember to get your paper stamped to prove your butt was in the room. Don’t forget to drop off your in-service papers to whichever bean counter keeps those numbers.

The sessions are:

TEA Update – This two-part presentation will be the legislative update and strategies for dealing with the results. Part I will discuss current and proposed education legislation that continue to cut budgets, mandate cursive writing and spend hours of time and millions of dollars trying to fix the SNAFU of this year’s assessment program. Part II will share strategies on “how do to everything required by federal and state laws with no resources.”

Bathroom Etiquette or Mrs. Smith? Where do I pee? This presentation discusses transgender restroom issues. You will see the new symbols on designated restroom signs for transgendered students. A tour of the new bathrooms will be done as everyone tries to determine “why is this really necessary?”

Assessment Update, Good Bye STAAR – Don’t thank your lucky STAARs just yet. The only way to make money in education is via assessment. Besides the clean up after this legal, head rolling, legislative probing, fiasco will take months of lawsuits and legislation. Come hear how this tail continues to wag the dog of the educational institution. NOTE: This TEA presentation will be live streaming from Austin. They are not setting foot on a campus until this mess settles down.

Tour the new stadium – Come meet the sponsors of the Booster Clubs as you tour our new, multimillion dollar, state of the art turf field football stadium with a jumbo Tron scoreboard from Star Wars. In addition to increasing your local taxes, you will learn how your group will get very slim proceeds because we need all the money to pay for this erection.

This last announcement. The gun range instructors have asked that those attending this morning sessions allow adequate time to calm down before you come to the gun range. Remember the targets look like this (holding up target) and you will have ample opportunity to release your anger.

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Have a good day now. Don’t forget. More starches, sugars and caffeine in the back of the library.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Friday, August 12, 2016 – Yesterday at Walden Pond or If Samuel Taylor Coldridge Had Played Golf

Posted on August 13, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, August 12, 2016 – Yesterday at Walden Pond or If Samuel Taylor Coldridge Had Played Golf

If Samuel Taylor Coldridge had played golf the poem might have been called The Time of the Ancient Golfer. It would have a stanza like this:

Water water everywhere and oh the boards did shrink.

Water water everywhere and oh the balls did sink.

I only hit two into the water yesterday. The golf course at Walden is a beautiful course with teeny tiny little green areas surrounded by lots of really big water (Lake Conroe) and other assorted wetlands and more sand bunkers that a secret  government facility. My success with the water was overshadowed by the at least six strokes I lost in the bunkers. I lost count of both strokes and bunkers.

The difference between a sand trap and water hazard is the difference between a car crash and an airplane crash. You have a chance of recovering from a car crash.  – Bobby Jones

Even with water, sand and tiny greens, I did not finish last about of about 50 players.  Given that I had never played the course, broke my distance device and actually finished in a heat that could have only come from the Breath of Hell, I was happy.

Today’s HWIT is very late because I had to make an emergency trip to The Woodlands to get this. If you are a golfer, you know exactly what it is. If you are not a golfer, it is a big ugly watch.

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See you on the tee box!

 

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Posted in Education, humor

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Thursday, August 11, 2016 – At Walden Pond or Life in the Woods

Posted on August 11, 2016 | 1 comment

Thursday, August 11, 2016 – At Walden Pond or Life in the Woods

I will be at Walden Pond today. No, I am not going to be doing any transcendental meditations or reflections up on simple or natural surroundings.

I will most likely be Thoreau ing golf balls into the ponds at Walden Golf Course on Lake Conroe.

practice (293x456)

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Posted in humor, Native Texan

Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Posted on August 10, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

OK – the Temptations did not really sing that last line.

Texas Aggie football practice for the 2016-2017 opened on Monday. This means Aggies everywhere begin the age old hope of “THIS is our year!”

So far so good. As of this morning no players were under arrest or in jail. Only two coaches have been suspended. So far the “Don’t Be Stupid” rule is holding true.

Quarterback Trevor Knight promises to be the Knight in Maroon Satin replacing all mention of our “Bat-crap Crazy Heisman Winner.” Knight has everything going for him.

  1. He is from San Antonio, Texas 2. He attended OU. 3. He rectified his errant ways and transferred to Texas A&M 4. He is dating Sadie Robertson of Duck Dynasty. How you like dat, LSU? 5. He is really handsome!

So here’s to Trevor Knight …

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

BTHO UCLA!

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Gig ‘Em Barn – north of Hearne, Texas on Highway 6. Photo by me.

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Posted in College Football, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

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Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

Posted on August 9, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

What do the following have in common?

  • Jerry Garcia
  • The Grateful Dead
  • The 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team?

Jerome John (Jerry) Garcia died of a heart attack on August 9, 1995. He was lead guitarist and vocalist for the Grateful Dead.

The Grateful Dead sponsored the 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team. In addition to money the Dead sent boxes of tie-dyed clothing. After decades of drab gray Soviet wear, the team was thrilled and wore Dead tie-dye clothing everywhere – even on the Victory Stand when they took home the Bronze.

http://thebigfootdiaries.blogspot.com/2012/07/how-grateful-dead-made-olympic-history.html

Dead Team

 JB, Do you still have your Dead Lithuanian basketball T-shirt? An original on EBay sells for $100 to $300+. You can purchase a reprint for about $25.

God Bless the Grateful Dead and RIP Jerry Garcia. To the rest of us Boomers, Keep on Truckin.

 

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Monday, August 8, 2016 – Still Magnolias from Magnolia High School. Magnolia and Texas Proud!

Posted on August 8, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, August 8, 2016 – Still Magnolias – From Magnolia High School. Magnolia and Texas Proud!

WE’RE FROM MHS! AND NO ONE COULD BE PROUDER! AND IF YOU CANNOT HEAR US, WE’LL YELL A LITTLE LOUDER!!

Corrected Brianna and Kyle

Dear Still Magnolias,

If you graduated from Magnolia High School in Magnolia, Texas then you are a Still Magnolia.

Last August (2015) several Magnolia High School graduates representing several graduating classes met for lunch to “remember when.” The discussion turned to “tomorrow” and we decided to come up with a pay forward project. We called ourselves the Still Magnolias and decided to ask former MHS students to donate and trust the process.

We prayed. We met. We planned. We made decisions. We sought wisdom. We met again and again with the greatest Still Magnolia of us all – Celeste Graves. And we repeated this process again and again. The results were beyond our wildest dreams and expectations. Still Magnolias and Celeste Rock!

Fast forward to May 19, 2016 – Awards Night for Magnolia High School. The Still Magnolias awarded two $500 scholarships to two outstanding graduating seniors. Then the Still Magnolias awarded Magnolia High School $1000 to create funding to provide assistance to this year’s current students attending Magnolia High School to help achieve their educational dreams.

To those of you who opened your hearts and pocket books, we cannot thank you enough. To the individuals from the Class of 1967, the Class of 1966 and the Class of 1952 who send funds with notes and checks – “Here is at least one scholarship,” we thank you again and again.

The Still Magnolias have worked with administrators at MISD and at MHS to formalize the project and the funding process. It has evolved into The Molly Memorial and Scholarship Fund.

The purpose of The Molly Memorial and Scholarship Fund is to remember and honor individuals who make or made a difference in our lives by paying it forward to make a difference in the life of a Magnolia High School student.

We decided to name each scholarship and change the names each year. This year we want to remember and honor two individuals who made a difference in the lives of countless Magnolia High School graduates – Celeste Graves and Howard (Uncle Dave) Davenport.

Now another school year begins. For the MHS Class of 1967 it marks the 50th year since we graduated.   We walked out of the auditorium ready to change the world. We did change the world just as the world changed us. Here is our chance to change the world again for Magnolia High School students.

In the coming posts you will hear more about The Molly Memorial and Scholarship Fund and how you can help. Please feel free to message me for details. But for now here’s to all of the Still Magnolias and welcome and good luck to the newest members – Brianna and Kyle.

Go Bulldogs!

Miss Magnolia, 1967

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Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

Posted on August 5, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, August 5, 2016 – Snarky Friday and the Texas Aggie Ass’t Coaches

When something bad happens with the Aggies, we call it Bad Bull. Nobody exemplified that better than the two Bad Bull Dumbass football coaches for Texas A&M at the Women’s Chalk Talk Clinic this week. As soon as it hit the news that “the presentation slides were too vulgar to be shown on TV,” we all took to our computers and tablets to see what you said. Where did you get your slide presentation, Baylor? Sorry, that was a low blow to The Bears and certainly not very Christian, but the point is your attitudes and college football’s attitudes toward women.

I realize the Aggies plan a throw-back uniform day to honor the 1957 Heisman Trophy Winner, John David Crow, but that does not include the attitudes from the 1950’s.  In fact, I cannot think of a time period when your words would have been acceptable – perhaps cave man era. You would never give a presentation with such vulgar innuendoes if your mother, sister, girlfriend, wife were in the attendance. I hope that they are as ashamed and embarrassed by your behavior as every other woman is. Even I was offended and it usually takes a lot to offend me.

Of course, Mack Brown, you did not help the situation by saying “I never lost a women’s coaching clinic.” This is probably true, but I was at a women’s football clinic, on THE University of Texas campus when Coach Brown turned white as the proverbial sheet when a women stood and asked “Why did you replace Major Applewhite with Chris Simms as QB?”

Please stop it with the underestimating our football intelligence and listen up and listen up GOOD, coaches. You cannot continue to view and treat women as your fantasy blow up dolls by giving presentations with vulgar, sexual, rude, degrading, and chauvinistic language. You must stop continuing to foster this type of climate on college campuses whether it is football or physics club.

Both of the TAMU presenters are Assistant Coaches. That means somebody supervises them. Where were you, Coach Supervisor? And ultimately it is Head Coach Sumlin’s responsibility. Coach Kevin, you really need to get the boys under control. A two-week suspension without pay should be “suspended indefinitely without pay.”   However, as Ron White says “You can’t fix stupid.”

I hope both of the ass’t coaches learn from this experience and stay in “Assistant Coach Hell” indefinitely.

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Tailgating 2015 – Alabama Game. Team march in led by Sumlin. Photo by me.

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Posted in College Football, Education, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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Thursday, August 4, 2016 – Not the Only One Ready for Football

Posted on August 4, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I guess I am not the only one ready for some college football. Loved all of the snarky responses yesterday. Here are my responses to your responses:

Stephen F. Austin State – Alma mater to degree # 1. Ax ‘Em Jacks. “Oh future bright, neath the purple and white, all hail to SFA…”

Ax'Em Jacks!

Sam Houston State Bear Kats –Alma mater to degree # 2. All SHSU sports are covered by the TV channels in Bryan – so cool. Teach me some cheers, Telisha.

Northwestern – go DEFENSE! Cousin Darryl (but not my other Cousin Darryl) is Defensive Coordinator. Go Demons! But not against SFA or Sam Houston!

Texas Tech – I shall anxiously await my case of tortillas. Will they be arriving by Fed Ex or a TT EX on a horse? Please know I will throw them at the TV when TT plays OU and those other schools like Kansas and Iowa State that really need to concentrate on basketball.  Go Kliff!

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Alabama – I hope my readership does not fall off either, JH. I was under the impression that the four from Alabama and/or who support the Tide and who actually read HWIT represented the entire literacy of the state. Just to clarify you know I will yell “Roll Tide” when you meet Auburn, South Carolina (or any school coached by Uncle Will “Exploding Head” Muschamp), any school from Florida and any team that Bama plays that will help Texas A&M look better in the SEC West. Also, should Larry Culpepper be hawking Dr. Peppers as Alabama prepares for another National Championship in January, I will put Roll Tide on my banner.

Texas A&M – Alma mater to degree #3. Being an equal opportunity Snark my Aggies get an entire post tomorrow. Some Bad Bull.

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Posted in college basketball, College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Texas Aggies

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