Category Archives: Politics

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 – Possible Side Effects and The Nine Dwarfs.

Posted on September 13, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, September 13, 2016 – Possible Side Effects and The Nine Dwarfs.

After laughing so hard last night watching Dancing with the Stars (DWTS), brain woke up in overload. Come on Ex Gov Perry, rumors have it that you could dance much better at The Hall of Shame in College Station.

Campus tour 7.5.2014 2014-07-05 101 (600x800)

Who knows where this is?

I am finally going to vote for you so I can keep watching. Who knew the protesters storming the stage would be after Lochte instead of you? Was it the Rio police or the other UT swimmers?

But back to the nine dwarfs. First of all I believe the PC term is Little People. Second, why is the plural not spelled dwarves? And third, there were originally nine dwarfs, but Grouchy and Touchy were riffed by a governor’s line item veto.

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After watching selected segments of DWTS for the third time, I finally quit laughing and decided to take my allergy meds and go to bed. For something to read to become drowsy I read the possible side effects of the medication I had just ingested. When did Grouchy and Touchy become medical terms as a possible side effect?

Here’s what I’m thinking. If Grouchy and Touchy are listed as side effects, then Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey should be listed also. In addition, Doc is either a veterinarian, a dentist or should have his medical license revoked. He is certainly not an allergy specialist. Otherwise he could have medicated the others.

Happy Tuesday.

 

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Wednesday, August 31, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars or Shoot Me Now!

Posted on August 31, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, August 31, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars or Shoot Me Now!

Grab your hot glue and glitter handguns. It is almost time to watch the Has Beens try to dance. Here is this season’s line up for Dancing With the Stars (DWTS).

Maureen McCormack – There’s a story; bout a man named Brady… Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!

Ryan Lochte – you said you were going to hang up your Speedo. Didn’t Speedo hang up on you along with your other sponsors? May I suggest you dance to The Eagles’ Lying Eyes?

Laurie Hernandez – Go Laurie! The Mirror Ball will look nice next to your gold medals.

Amber Rose – Have no idea who you are, but I do like your name.

Tara Joley – Have no idea who you are either.

Marilu Henner – She has one of those perfect memories where she forgets nothing.

Rick Perry – The longest reigning governor of Texas will be doing the Texas two-step since he can only remember two things. Oops. Can you possibly embarrass the state and Texas A&M anymore? I would like to forget everything about you. Seeing you in glitter doing the desperation samba makes my stomach hurt.

Jake T. Austin – ?

Calvin Johnson – Football player. A wide receiver for Detroit Lions known as Megatron – ? Who in Texas watches Detroit? Only when they play the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Note to the producers of DWTS: Tony Romo should be available next season.

Kenny Baby Face Edmonds – ?

Vanilla Ice – Really? Was MC Hammer not available?

James Hinchcliff – Race car driver

Jana Kramer – a country western singer I never heard of.

What else can I watch on TV that promises to be as exciting and entertaining as DWTS? How about CSPAN?

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

From DKR Memorial Stadium – Austin, Texas. Photo by me.

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Wednesday, August 22, 2016 – From the Institution of Higher Education.

Posted on August 24, 2016 | 2 comments

Wednesday, August 22, 2016 – From the Institution of Higher Education. Wearing my doctor hat today – The flat one with the strings on the side. This is for my dear friends who teach from the ivory towers. Welcome College Freshmen!

Good Morning, Freshman. This is Here’s What I’m Thinking 101. Please look at the paper copy of the syllabus and the not one on your device. That reminds me, if any of your devices ring, ding, dong, bong or any other displeasing sounds that interrupt me, please leave the room and consider yourself absent. This includes your handgun. If it goes off, please remember, I have one too.

In addition please do not ask your parents to send the syllabus to you now because you forgot to download the paper one I told you to bring it the first day of class. You should have known this when you were to start the readings for this class two week ago. If you have not accessed my website/blog the address one enters into the browser is DrDrD85.me. This is a college level course that you signed up for. Not your parents. Do not waste their money or my time.

For those of you who can read at the college level and on a piece of paper, you see the name of the course is Here’s What I Am Thinking (HWIT). It is not called Here’s What I Believe. If I wanted you to know what I believe I would have called the course such. I wanted to call it My Brain and Welcome to It, but those who make more money and have more power than I do said no. This includes the Dean of the COE. Sidebar: How many know what COE stands for?

Purpose: The purpose of HWIT is to make at least one person per day smile/laugh and or think about something.

Here are the rules. If I know you now or have known you in the past I WILL write about you. Therefore, it is necessary that you check in daily to ensure that what I have written is not about you that day. Also know that grades are shaped on the bell curve. If you fall under the big bell, it is likely I will use a pseudonym for your name and will have flattering things to say about you. However, if you do not read I will most likely publish your full name and all of your aliases, the coordinates of your home with a link to Google Maps and reveal unflattering stories I know about you.

Snarky Fridays. Fridays from September 2 until the Tide Rolls into the national championship spotlight again are called Snarky Fridays. I will be making comments about the Saturday college football games. It will feature college football teams I like and the teams that play the football teams I like. Your assignment due this Friday is to be prepared to comment on HWIT as we discuss the AP Top 25 NCAA Division I football way too early pre-season poll.

Monday Awards. Mondays from September 5 until Larry Culpepper hands the coach of an SEC school the national championship trophy are called My Monday after Saturday Football Awards.

The rest of the days. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday topics could be about anything, but most likely will revolve around:

  • The grand state of my birth – Texas. Please do not confuse it with THE University of Texas.
  • The educational institution. This will include all aspects of education as a social institution with emphasis on what is left of the Texas public school system. You can vouch for that.
  • The political circus with emphasis on the big circus tent in Austin known as the capitol. That is the correct spelling because I am referring to the building with the DOME and not the PLACE which is the capital of Texas.
  • Anything else I feel like thinking about. Please be aware that I have letters after my name and I post stuff on the Internet and I am on Facebook so everybody believes what I say is true.

Your assignment for tomorrow is to come up with a photograph or representation of what you imagine your brain looks like. Here is an example. This is a cross section of mine. As you can tell there are several dust pockets, but the gears work just fine.

My brain (800x725)

Are there any questions? Good. I know those of you attending THE University of Texas want to get to the campus carry protest early. Please do not attach the sex toy to your backpack until you leave my class. http://www.mystatesman.com/news/news/local/ut-campus-carry-protest-to-feature-sex-toys-calls-/nsKSF/?ecmp=newspaper_email/##

Class dismissed. I am late to the golf course. That is where my office is.

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Friday, August 19, 2016 – Snarky Friday –Only Fifteen More Days

Posted on August 19, 2016 | 1 comment

Friday, August 19, 2016 – Snarky Friday –Only Fifteen More Days

For you new readers, during the fall Snarky Friday is my preview of Saturday’s college football games. Since we are still 15 days away from kick off, I do not want to jump off sides and begin football snark until later this month.

Me and Tailgating

Tailgating at Bama Game 2015

Therefore today the snarks are random.

  1. From the Olympics – Looks like the US swimmers peed in the pool by getting robbed, not getting robbed; telling lies, being detained by the government and causing a general embarrassment to us all. Was Johnny Manziel with you?
  2. From the news – Where is your chaos? This is not a philosophical or existentialist question. In listening to the TV news, the reporter said, “During the shootings, one woman was shot in the chaos.” I have yet to find an image of my chaos on Google Images.
  3. From politics – Donald Trump is going to do away with shredded cheese in order to make America grate again. Also overheard is that if elected he plans to forbid pole vaulting along the Mexican border. On the other side of the political spectrum, just fill in the blank with your own adjectives. God help us all.
  4. From entertainment – Five Major Things you can expect to see in Fifty Shades Freed. There is another Fifty-Shades of Gray movie! Please say no. It took me 50 shots of Grey Goose to read all three books of this crap. I kept thinking I would find something redeemable. Five major things you can expect to see – 1. Me 2. Me 3. Me 4. Me and 5. Me NOT at the movies.
  5. From College Football – Fifteen Days until Kick-Off – BTHO UCLA.

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    I can say I have run through the tunnel onto Kyle Field. Tour of Kyle Field 2015. Photo by me.

PS – Note to Longhorns! Please do not let Texas Tech win the last of the Big 12 Conference. It is bad enough when OU wins. Hook ‘Em Hippies!

Longhorn Band (800x600)

Photo by Martha!

 

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Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

Posted on August 16, 2016 | 4 comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2016 – Dancing With the Stars – 2017

I saw that Dancing With the Stars (DWTS) will soon release its contestants for next season. Here’s What I’m Thinking – Let’s do an all political one.

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Austin Graffitti Wall 2013 – photo by me

Here is my list of who I would like to see on DWTS. Who would you like to see in high definition jumping and flopping around with little clothing? And at what dance would they excel?  And of course, who would take home the Mirror Ball?

  1. The defeated one in the presidential bid.
  2. Michelle Obama
  3. Marco Rubio
  4. Elizabeth Warren
  5. John Boehner
  6. Ted Cruz
  7. Nancy Pelosi
  8. Mitt Romney
  9. Nikki Haley
  10. Chris Christie

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    George H.W. Bush Library – 2015 photo by me

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Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Posted on August 15, 2016 | 2 comments

Monday, August 15, 2016 – Campus In-service – Here Is to the Brave Souls Still in the Trenches of Education.

Good morning Teachers!

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Welcome to our new school year. Before we begin our campus in- service, let’s thank the PTO for the coffee and sodas, donuts and other assorted treats that we probably should not be eating, but that we all need for our stressed out lives as teachers.

Let’s take a look at the agenda for today. As you can see half of you are on campus this morning. At lunch you will switch with those on the gun range this morning obtaining their concealed hand gun and open carry permits.

This brief reminder. You must attend all four sessions this morning. Remember to get your paper stamped to prove your butt was in the room. Don’t forget to drop off your in-service papers to whichever bean counter keeps those numbers.

The sessions are:

TEA Update – This two-part presentation will be the legislative update and strategies for dealing with the results. Part I will discuss current and proposed education legislation that continue to cut budgets, mandate cursive writing and spend hours of time and millions of dollars trying to fix the SNAFU of this year’s assessment program. Part II will share strategies on “how do to everything required by federal and state laws with no resources.”

Bathroom Etiquette or Mrs. Smith? Where do I pee? This presentation discusses transgender restroom issues. You will see the new symbols on designated restroom signs for transgendered students. A tour of the new bathrooms will be done as everyone tries to determine “why is this really necessary?”

Assessment Update, Good Bye STAAR – Don’t thank your lucky STAARs just yet. The only way to make money in education is via assessment. Besides the clean up after this legal, head rolling, legislative probing, fiasco will take months of lawsuits and legislation. Come hear how this tail continues to wag the dog of the educational institution. NOTE: This TEA presentation will be live streaming from Austin. They are not setting foot on a campus until this mess settles down.

Tour the new stadium – Come meet the sponsors of the Booster Clubs as you tour our new, multimillion dollar, state of the art turf field football stadium with a jumbo Tron scoreboard from Star Wars. In addition to increasing your local taxes, you will learn how your group will get very slim proceeds because we need all the money to pay for this erection.

This last announcement. The gun range instructors have asked that those attending this morning sessions allow adequate time to calm down before you come to the gun range. Remember the targets look like this (holding up target) and you will have ample opportunity to release your anger.

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Have a good day now. Don’t forget. More starches, sugars and caffeine in the back of the library.

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Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Posted on August 10, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, August 10, 2016 – Ooooooooh! Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch – Aggie Hope and Dynasty

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

OK – the Temptations did not really sing that last line.

Texas Aggie football practice for the 2016-2017 opened on Monday. This means Aggies everywhere begin the age old hope of “THIS is our year!”

So far so good. As of this morning no players were under arrest or in jail. Only two coaches have been suspended. So far the “Don’t Be Stupid” rule is holding true.

Quarterback Trevor Knight promises to be the Knight in Maroon Satin replacing all mention of our “Bat-crap Crazy Heisman Winner.” Knight has everything going for him.

  1. He is from San Antonio, Texas 2. He attended OU. 3. He rectified his errant ways and transferred to Texas A&M 4. He is dating Sadie Robertson of Duck Dynasty. How you like dat, LSU? 5. He is really handsome!

So here’s to Trevor Knight …

Oooooooooooooooh!
Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch
You know that I love you
I can’t help myself
I love you and nobody else

Cause we are the Aggies, the Aggies are true; we’re from Texas AMU.

BTHO UCLA!

Barn 1 (800x530)

Gig ‘Em Barn – north of Hearne, Texas on Highway 6. Photo by me.

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Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

Posted on August 9, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

What do the following have in common?

  • Jerry Garcia
  • The Grateful Dead
  • The 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team?

Jerome John (Jerry) Garcia died of a heart attack on August 9, 1995. He was lead guitarist and vocalist for the Grateful Dead.

The Grateful Dead sponsored the 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team. In addition to money the Dead sent boxes of tie-dyed clothing. After decades of drab gray Soviet wear, the team was thrilled and wore Dead tie-dye clothing everywhere – even on the Victory Stand when they took home the Bronze.

http://thebigfootdiaries.blogspot.com/2012/07/how-grateful-dead-made-olympic-history.html

Dead Team

 JB, Do you still have your Dead Lithuanian basketball T-shirt? An original on EBay sells for $100 to $300+. You can purchase a reprint for about $25.

God Bless the Grateful Dead and RIP Jerry Garcia. To the rest of us Boomers, Keep on Truckin.

 

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Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

Posted on August 1, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

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Montgomery County Go Texan Photo – early 1970’s (I think). Used with permission. (sorta)

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Photo by HB. Damn – still look like that, including orthopedic shoes.

Whoopie Yi Ky Yea! Or as Texas Tech says “Guns Up!” I am going get me a pink skirt with white fringe on the bottom, grab my black Patsy Cline, pearl snap button shirt, jump into my best cowgirl boots (the Lucchese lizard ones) and get me a pink, matching holster and handgun with a pink grip. As of January 1, Texans could openly carry a hand gun on your hip, just like Wyatt Earp and Annie Oakley.

Then there is campus carry. As of today in Texas if you are 21 years old, have a concealed handgun license you can carry your firearm on certain college campuses. Handguns in your school’s colors. What a concept. Get yours at the campus bookstore now.

One is not allowed to carry their weapon in to residence halls, child care centers and ticketed sporting events. Heck, if I were going to shoot somebody, it would probably be in one of those places. “I am trying to study! Turn down your music or I will come shoot you!”

I understand the University of Houston has installed state of the art gun safes to store handguns as carriers move into places where their gun is not allowed. I wanted to carry a gun for my one semester at the U of H in 1972.

At Texas A&M there are certain areas on campus where one can openly campus carry their gun. I hope if there is a shooter on campus he (or she) is in one of those areas and not in a residence hall, childcare center or ticketed sporting event. Does that mean I can carry my gun to intermural events? I can have beer at an intermural and sometimes at ticketed sporting events, but I cannot drive a car with an open beer.  I don’t think you can ride with me either if you have an open container of alcohol.

Most bars have signs barring guns inside. A strictly regulated sign must be displayed. It has 30.07 for NO open carry and 30.06 for NO concealed firearms. Alcohol and firearms with “Don’t take your guns to town, Son; leave your guns at home” playing on the sound system – not a good mix.

THE University of Texas at Austin has a listing of regulations and policies regarding campus carry.

The debut of the Texas gun law falls on the 50th Anniversary of the deadly mass shooting at The University of Texas in 1966 where 17 people, including an unborn child were killed by Charles Whitman –a crazy person on a college campus with a gun.

I wonder if it too late to go to law school.

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Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

Posted on July 29, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

We, the People of the United States of America… have spoken leaving the nation with a couple of ringtail tooters seeking the highest office – The President of the United States. We have the first woman to run on the ticket of a major party and the first man to run on the ticket of a major party that did not come up through the traditional political rank and file.

Did you know that the framers of the constitution actually disagreed and argued over those first three words of what became The Preamble to The United States Constitution – We, the People? The Southern delegation and others argued it should read “We, the States.” The Federalists (J. Madison, A. Hamilton, et. al.) countered with “the people are the states.”

I suppose We the People will watch this unfold in real time social media from now until November. Watching the news makes me want to wear a hazmat suit and realize being a hermit or recluse is not that bad.

The following song is from one of my favorite musicals, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. It is fitting and appropriate for both candidates. Here is the fabulous Charles Durning’s version of Sidestep from the movie,

“Cut a little swath and lead the people on!….

Enjoy and Happy Friday. God Bless Texas.

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