Category Archives: humor

Thursday, August 11, 2016 – At Walden Pond or Life in the Woods

Thursday, August 11, 2016 – At Walden Pond or Life in the Woods

I will be at Walden Pond today. No, I am not going to be doing any transcendental meditations or reflections up on simple or natural surroundings.

I will most likely be Thoreau ing golf balls into the ponds at Walden Golf Course on Lake Conroe.

practice (293x456)

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

Tuesday, August 9, 2016 – Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead

What do the following have in common?

  • Jerry Garcia
  • The Grateful Dead
  • The 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team?

Jerome John (Jerry) Garcia died of a heart attack on August 9, 1995. He was lead guitarist and vocalist for the Grateful Dead.

The Grateful Dead sponsored the 1992 Lithuanian Men’s Olympic Basketball Team. In addition to money the Dead sent boxes of tie-dyed clothing. After decades of drab gray Soviet wear, the team was thrilled and wore Dead tie-dye clothing everywhere – even on the Victory Stand when they took home the Bronze.

http://thebigfootdiaries.blogspot.com/2012/07/how-grateful-dead-made-olympic-history.html

Dead Team

 JB, Do you still have your Dead Lithuanian basketball T-shirt? An original on EBay sells for $100 to $300+. You can purchase a reprint for about $25.

God Bless the Grateful Dead and RIP Jerry Garcia. To the rest of us Boomers, Keep on Truckin.

 

Thursday, August 4, 2016 – Not the Only One Ready for Football

Thursday, August 4, 2016

I guess I am not the only one ready for some college football. Loved all of the snarky responses yesterday. Here are my responses to your responses:

Stephen F. Austin State – Alma mater to degree # 1. Ax ‘Em Jacks. “Oh future bright, neath the purple and white, all hail to SFA…”

Ax'Em Jacks!

Sam Houston State Bear Kats –Alma mater to degree # 2. All SHSU sports are covered by the TV channels in Bryan – so cool. Teach me some cheers, Telisha.

Northwestern – go DEFENSE! Cousin Darryl (but not my other Cousin Darryl) is Defensive Coordinator. Go Demons! But not against SFA or Sam Houston!

Texas Tech – I shall anxiously await my case of tortillas. Will they be arriving by Fed Ex or a TT EX on a horse? Please know I will throw them at the TV when TT plays OU and those other schools like Kansas and Iowa State that really need to concentrate on basketball.  Go Kliff!

Tech (800x600)

Alabama – I hope my readership does not fall off either, JH. I was under the impression that the four from Alabama and/or who support the Tide and who actually read HWIT represented the entire literacy of the state. Just to clarify you know I will yell “Roll Tide” when you meet Auburn, South Carolina (or any school coached by Uncle Will “Exploding Head” Muschamp), any school from Florida and any team that Bama plays that will help Texas A&M look better in the SEC West. Also, should Larry Culpepper be hawking Dr. Peppers as Alabama prepares for another National Championship in January, I will put Roll Tide on my banner.

Texas A&M – Alma mater to degree #3. Being an equal opportunity Snark my Aggies get an entire post tomorrow. Some Bad Bull.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 – ONE MONTH FROM TODAY – College Football Weekend Kicks Off! I cannot wait! The Tide Rolled into my Computer

If you have followed Here’s What I’m Thinking or read the descriptor you know is reads:

Short paragraphs about whatever I am thinking. I like to think about my favorite topics: College football, the state of Texas, the public school educational institution, politics and life in general.

Refining that somewhat further, I write about Texas Aggie Football. In addition I write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. This includes, but is not limited to, LSU, selected schools in the Southeast Conference, and any team playing any football team from Florida.

I like teams from the Big Please Come to My Party Conference, formerly known as The Big XII. But I only like these schools Baylor, THE University of Texas, and Oklahoma State University.

And I root for the Lumberjacks of Stephen F. Austin in Nacogdoches and Northwestern in Naco’s brother’s founded town of Natchitoches. And I root for the Bear Kats from Sam Houston State.

First though – you Crimson Rolling Tide bunch of hackers – When I wrote in January of 2016 “Happy Birthday to us all. Roll Tide”, it was to cheer for the National NCAA Division I Football Championship. Somehow it became part of the banner.

It was not supposed to stay up there until July 4 – when I first realized it was still in banner – just above the 12th Man. When I inquired from one of Tide Rollers, as to how long it had been there, I was informed “months” making my horror and shame deepen. They continued “We wondered when you would find it.” Then it took a month to figure how to remove it. Do not expect to see Roll Tide on the HWIT Banner unless it is for another National Championship.

Sabin sign (600x800)

BTHO UCLA – September 3, 2016 Kyle Field; 2:30 CBS Gig ‘Em.

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

Monday, August 1, 2016 – Open Carry, but Not Open Beer Containers. Campus Carry, but Not Everywhere.

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Montgomery County Go Texan Photo – early 1970’s (I think). Used with permission. (sorta)

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Photo by HB. Damn – still look like that, including orthopedic shoes.

Whoopie Yi Ky Yea! Or as Texas Tech says “Guns Up!” I am going get me a pink skirt with white fringe on the bottom, grab my black Patsy Cline, pearl snap button shirt, jump into my best cowgirl boots (the Lucchese lizard ones) and get me a pink, matching holster and handgun with a pink grip. As of January 1, Texans could openly carry a hand gun on your hip, just like Wyatt Earp and Annie Oakley.

Then there is campus carry. As of today in Texas if you are 21 years old, have a concealed handgun license you can carry your firearm on certain college campuses. Handguns in your school’s colors. What a concept. Get yours at the campus bookstore now.

One is not allowed to carry their weapon in to residence halls, child care centers and ticketed sporting events. Heck, if I were going to shoot somebody, it would probably be in one of those places. “I am trying to study! Turn down your music or I will come shoot you!”

I understand the University of Houston has installed state of the art gun safes to store handguns as carriers move into places where their gun is not allowed. I wanted to carry a gun for my one semester at the U of H in 1972.

At Texas A&M there are certain areas on campus where one can openly campus carry their gun. I hope if there is a shooter on campus he (or she) is in one of those areas and not in a residence hall, childcare center or ticketed sporting event. Does that mean I can carry my gun to intermural events? I can have beer at an intermural and sometimes at ticketed sporting events, but I cannot drive a car with an open beer.  I don’t think you can ride with me either if you have an open container of alcohol.

Most bars have signs barring guns inside. A strictly regulated sign must be displayed. It has 30.07 for NO open carry and 30.06 for NO concealed firearms. Alcohol and firearms with “Don’t take your guns to town, Son; leave your guns at home” playing on the sound system – not a good mix.

THE University of Texas at Austin has a listing of regulations and policies regarding campus carry.

The debut of the Texas gun law falls on the 50th Anniversary of the deadly mass shooting at The University of Texas in 1966 where 17 people, including an unborn child were killed by Charles Whitman –a crazy person on a college campus with a gun.

I wonder if it too late to go to law school.

Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

Friday, July 29, 2016 – Snarky Friday. We, the People… and Dance a Little Side Step.

We, the People of the United States of America… have spoken leaving the nation with a couple of ringtail tooters seeking the highest office – The President of the United States. We have the first woman to run on the ticket of a major party and the first man to run on the ticket of a major party that did not come up through the traditional political rank and file.

Did you know that the framers of the constitution actually disagreed and argued over those first three words of what became The Preamble to The United States Constitution – We, the People? The Southern delegation and others argued it should read “We, the States.” The Federalists (J. Madison, A. Hamilton, et. al.) countered with “the people are the states.”

I suppose We the People will watch this unfold in real time social media from now until November. Watching the news makes me want to wear a hazmat suit and realize being a hermit or recluse is not that bad.

The following song is from one of my favorite musicals, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. It is fitting and appropriate for both candidates. Here is the fabulous Charles Durning’s version of Sidestep from the movie,

“Cut a little swath and lead the people on!….

Enjoy and Happy Friday. God Bless Texas.

Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

Thursday, July 28, 2016 – Henry’s Hideout – Texas

“I know a place where we can go…” Just off of FM 1774 where Montgomery, Grimes and Waller Counties come together is Henry’s Hideout. I have devised a quiz for you regarding this place. Henry’s definitely deserves a historical marker – even if it a personal, coming of age type marker. Growing up in Magnolia, I was forbidden to even drive by the place.

Henrys (800x450)

 

Give yourself one point for each answer you answer with “YES.”

  1. Have you ever been there?
  2. Have you ever had a cold beer there?
  3. Have you ever had a cold beer AND a barbeque sandwich there?
  4. Do you know what Henry’s last name was?
  5. Have you ever danced a two-step and Cotton Eyed Joe in the dancehall there?
  6. Have you ever participated, witnessed or broken up a fight there?
  7. Have you ever played in a band there?
  8. Have you ever sung on stage with the band there – whether you were supposed to or not?
  9. Have you ever celebrated Genevieve’s birthday there?
  10. Would you like to be there now?

If you said NO to the first question, you should plan a trip. If you answered YES to the first question I would love to hear your stories.

Many of you should not lie and say NO because I was with you when we did numbers two through nine. I wish we could do number 10 together today. Thank goodness there were no digital cameras or phones. Oh, I scored a perfect 10.

 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 – Dog Days of Summer

Wednesday, July 27, 2016 – Dog Days of Summer and Guest Blogger

Hello. My name is Tucker. I am Aunt Delia’s great dog nephew.  She went to hit the little white ball into a hole with a stick so I am taking her place. I take a great selfie, don’t I?.

Me and Tucker (800x800)

When my house family goes out of town, AD comes and stays with me. I like her. We have fun and she takes good care of me. In fact, I think she might change her will and leave all of her money to me! Why? I see more of her than her than she sees of her biped great nieces and nephews.  AD and I have a bet that she will not get single LIKE from any of them on FB.

Here are some pictures of what we do when she visits. We have breakfast and coffee outside. Tucker Breakfast (800x450)

Then we go for a walk.

Tucker Walk (800x450)

When we return I get ice cubes in my water bowl to cool my after walk water.  Isn’t she the best?

Tucker Ice Water (800x450)

Sometimes, if I am persistent, I get a massage.

Tucker Massage (800x450)

Mostly, I sit and watch the front door waiting for my house family.

Tucker profile (648x800)I miss them when they are gone.

Tucker Sad (800x742)I like to sleep a lot too.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

I woke up this morning still trying to determine what decade I am in. I think it is still 1968.

When Paul Simon stepped on stage last night at the Democratic National Convention, you just knew he was going to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water. Like the shape many believe America to be in, his voice was raspy and maybe not able to hit to high notes so well, but it was still beautiful. When the song is perfect, it is not the voice that sings it, but the words the voice sings.

Then came The Bern and Senator Sanders’ video featuring America. Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they’ve all come to look for America. The only thing missing during that concert scene was the Bic lighters.

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Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Michelle Obama all spoke at the last night’s convention. Regardless of your candidate, you must admit they were all better speakers that the previous ones from last week who said “Vote for my Daddy.”

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Cory Booker – What a Hotty and a Stanford graduate, and played football. Go Cardinal. Now he is the first Black Senator from New Jersey. Wow, those gifted and talented children do come in all colors, shapes and sizes!

Elizabeth Warren – “I come from Oklahoma and went to a commuter college in Texas.” That is definitely a definition of a First Genner – the first of one’s family to attend college. Her undergraduate college would be the University of Houston, once known as Cougar High, once known as home of Phi Slamma Jamma, but still has a beautiful mascot named Shasta. Shasta will look good in The Big 12 Conference.

Anyway, back to Simon and Garfunkel. The year 1968 was a good year for songs. Check out the top 100 songs of 1968. Simon and Garfunkel had two in the top 100. http://www.musicoutfitters.com/topsongs/1968.htm

I know these tunes blasted from my dorm room and up and down the hall of Dorm 18 from other stationary technology music machines on the lovely campus of Stephen F. Austin in 1968. I know you can sing a few words to all them. All of the songs would be appropriate for either campaign.

And Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know…

If you are really bored, check out the video of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. The more things change; the more they stay the same. And We, The People are still here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Iye1NQy1NY

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Right off the gavel “Within minutes, CNN was reporting that the DNC Rules Committee had relieved Wasserman Schultz of her role as convention chair and replaced her with Ohio Rep. Marcia Fudge. “ Really? The Democratic National Convention RULES Committee is now chaired by a woman whose last name is Fudge? As in Fudge the Rules?

What is on the agenda tonight?

The first guess speaker at tonight’s Democratic National Convention is Charlie Brown’s teacher. Let’s listen to a portion of what she will say.

Wha wha wha; Blah, blah, blah;Wha wha wha wha; Blah.

Can’t wait to hear more of that tonight. There are other big political names scheduled to speak tonight. Michelle Obama also takes the podium this evening. I wonder if she will plagarize Melania Trump’s speech.

One never knows, but it sounds as though the indoors will be boring. It is the outdoors that is going to be interesting. What year is this? 1968 all over again? Where are we? Chicago? Is this one of the flashbacks our parents warned us about? (J. Buffet)  Or am I witnessing history repeat itself? YIPPIE(S)!

According to Yahoo, planned protests include:

Some will call for voters to “deregister” from the major parties. Some are planning to block thoroughfares used to transport delegates to and from the arena. Some will be staging a “Mock Trial of Hillary Clinton.” Some are willing to be arrested.

Some will be marching a 51-foot inflatable marijuana joint from City Hall to the Wells Fargo Center.

That takes some really big Zig Zags! I cannot wait to see that in high definition!

Regardless of how one feels about the soon not to be presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, you must admit you will witness history.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/unconventional-43-dnc-day-one-000000574.html

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