Tag Archives: Donald Trump

Monday, March 27, 2017 – Last Week – That Was The Week That Was (TW3)

Posted on March 27, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, March 27, 2017 – Last Week – That Was The Week That Was (TW3)

Good morning Boys and Girls,

Our vocabulary word for the day is: Mumpsimus. It is a noun that means 1. adherence to or persistence in an erroneous use of language, memorization, practice, belief; out of habit or obstinacy 2. A person who persists in a mistaken expression or practice.

Now please use mumpsimus in a sentence.

The POTUS and his administration are a swamp filled mumpsimus.

HWIT – Rather than increase the numbers in the demographic of poor people with no health care with the new and improved healthcare, President Mumpsimus will just maintain the existing number of poor people who are unable to afford premiums and their outlandish deductibles as currently stated in the ACA. Correct?

While we are looking at numbers, check my math. Aren’t the Democrats in the minority in the House of Representatives? Help me understand, the Democrats that voted against Trumpcare are blamed for it not passing, but the Republicans, that voted against Trumpcare are not blamed.

Oh well, let’s just toss that critical issue of healthcare into the Potomac with all the people effected and tackle tax reform.

Shipwreck off cost of Maine – Photo by me. Maybe I should call it: USS Trump

I am blessed to have excellent health benefits and health care. I am thankful each morning I awake up and think “Thank goodness I am not Sean Spicer.”

Let’ close today with a quote from George W. Bush said early in his first term, perhaps even the first 100 days. “It’s hard to be president.” Never thought we would miss “W.”

 

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Thursday, March 23, 2017 – Ensure the Insured.

Posted on March 23, 2017 | 1 comment

Thursday, March 23, 2017 – Ensure the Insured.

Today is my required home health care visit. My (I am so blessed) state paid insurance calls for an annual home visit to check on my health and well-being. This is translated as – ensure the insured person is not squandering our money and is actually sick when she says she is, not selling her medicines on the street, appears to be sane, or any number of issues related their money.

As always I have prepared for my tests and am prepared to answer all of the questions on form. Here are some examples I am anticipating.

Q: Is your birthday still January 13, 19XX? Yes, my birthday is the same as it has always been. I did not change my birthday like my Aunt Myrtle. She changed her birthday on her headstone so she would not look her older her husband.

Q: How old are you?

A: A year older than last time you were here. Can’t you do the math or are you a product of our education system?

Q: Are you mobile? Do you have difficulty walking?

A: I am very mobile. Sometimes I do have difficulty walking, but alcohol is almost always involved. And it only happens going to and from the Uber or wherever the designated driver’s car is.

Q: Do you exercise on a regular basis?

Micky and Killer Queen, you two want to weigh in here? These are my PTs – personal trainers not physical therapists. Last year I offered to lift and tote the home health care person to the living room just to show off, but she declined. This time I might suggest a contest where we do 10 lunges across the living room. Maybe I will take it easy on her and suggest 10 push-ups (full body, of course) or the usually number of reps of sit ups. What am I up to now, Mickey? Three sets of 10?

A: Yes, I exercise on a regular basis. This is why I wear sweat pants. Not only for the comfort, but my butt looks good in them. No shake, rattle or rolls.

Q: How is your mental frame of mind?

A: Compared to whose mental frame of mind? I would like to phone a friend and let them answer. As my dear Mother used to say to me often “Everyone is crazy except me and you. And I am kinda worried about you.”

Magnolia House – note the look of pleasure on my face. Lost that “Not wearing a dress” fight to Mama that day. Note: the silhouette above my head: Anybody from 4th Grade remember those?

Of course, as the great 20th Century philosopher says “If we weren’t all crazy, we’d just go insane.” (J. Buffet.)

Jimmy Buffet – Austin, Texas 2014. Photo by me.

But to answer your question regarding my mental capacities – I do not Tweet at 3:00 AM in the morning. I often go to the bathroom at 3:00 AM, but no tweeting, just peeing.

May I ask you a question, lowly paid health care checker person?

How much longer is this going to take? If you hurry up I can almost get 18 holes played before tip-off of the basketball games tonight.

Where to I sign to show you have been here and you can show your boss what a wonderful job you did today. Now, go away, but thank you for stopping by.

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Monday, March 6, 2017 – Leaks -Yтечки

Posted on March 6, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, March 6, 2017 – Leaks – Yтечки

Dear President Trump,

I am sorry to hear you are having leaks. Have you tried Myrbetriq? This seems to work for many people.

Depends underwear works well too and they make Depends for men.

May I also suggestion that you use a heavy duty aluminum foil to wrap your phone and other communicative devices. This probably works better than receiving alien messages through the fillings in your teeth.

Just trying to be helpful. FYI this is how you say leaks in Russian – утечки

 

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Tuesday, February 21, 2017 – Extra Extra Read All About It!

Posted on February 21, 2017 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, February 21, 2017 – Extra Extra Read All About It!

From today’s Bryan Eagle. Did I sleep through something? I think this is an example of that fake news.

eagle-headlines-800x800

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Tuesday, February 7, 2017 – Kejserens nye Klaender. For What It’s Worth.

Posted on February 7, 2017 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, February 7, 2017 – Kejserens nye Klaender. For What It’s Worth.

Good morning boys and girls. Today I am going to tell you a story. Pay close attention because there will be a question at the end.

Our story is by Hans Christian Andersen. It is about a vain emperor who cares about nothing except wearing and displaying clothes and big numbers of how popular he is. He hires two weavers who promise him the finest clothes from a fabric that is invisible to anyone who is either unfit for his position, terminally stupid or in the media. The Emperor’s ministers cannot see the clothes themselves, not even on Fox News, but pretend to do so for fear of appearing unfit for their offices and positions.

During a parade where the emperor wears his new invisible suit, the people of the kingdom play along because they do not want to appear stupid, unfit for their positions and/or live in California.

Suddenly a child with cajones screams out “He ain’t got no clothes on!” Then the crowd takes up the chant screaming “Nekked! Nekked!” The Emperor cuts off all federal funds to all of the people in his kingdom.

Everybody disperses in the event of another Bowling Green Massacre and goes home singing Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth.” – “There’s something happening here; What it is ain’t exactly clear…”

The End

And now our question.

What do you think is the name of the Emperor?

———————————————-

Kejserens nye Klaender – Original Danish title of The Emperor’s New Clothes by Hans Christian Andersen

Lyrics to Buffalo’s Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp5JCrSXkJY

There’s something happening here What it is ain’t exactly clear There’s a man with a gun over there Telling me I got to beware

I think it’s time we stop, children, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down

There’s battle lines being drawn Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong Young people speaking their minds Getting so much resistance from behind

It’s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down

What a field-day for the heat A thousand people in the street Singing songs and carrying signs Mostly say, hooray for our side

It’s s time we stop, hey, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down

Paranoia strikes deep Into your life it will creep It starts when you’re always afraid You step out of line, the man come and take you away

We better stop, hey, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down Stop, hey, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down Stop, now, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down Stop, children, what’s that sound Everybody look what’s going down.

Written by Stephen Stills • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

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Thursday, February 2, 2017 – Ground Hog Day

Posted on February 2, 2017 | 1 comment

Thursday, February 2, 2017 – Ground Hog Day

At 7:15 AM EST the Ground Hog, Punxsutaney Phil, was pulled squealing from his burrow, set on a stump, saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter weather.

In other news at 3:00 AM EST President Machiavelli, who is a stump, was up and communicating to the world. This means six more weeks of U. S Constitutional crisis, protests, outrage, angering of Allies and alternate facts.

At 7:15 AM EST the Ground Hog, Punxsutaney Phil, was pulled squealing from his burrow, set on a stump, saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter weather.

In other news at 3:00 AM EST President Machiavelli, who is a stump, was up and communicating to the world. This means six more weeks of U. S. Constitutional crisis, protests, outrage, angering of Allies and alternate facts.

At 7:15 AM EST the Ground Hog, Punxsutaney Phil, was pulled squealing from his burrow, set on a stump, saw his shadow and predicted six more weeks of winter weather.

In other news at 3:00 AM EST President Machiavelli, who is a stump, was up and communicating to the world. This means six more weeks of U. S. Constitutional crisis, protests, outrage, angering of Allies and alternate facts.

cropped-ellis-island-800x5293.jpg

Ellis Island – New York City. Photo by me 1986.

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Monday January 30, 2017 – Just a Little Off the Top or That Was The Weekend That Was – TWTW!

Posted on January 30, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday January 30, 2017 – Just a Little Off the Top or That Was The Weekend That Was – TWTW!

For the history geeks of the world…

Good Morning Class. I am Dr. Dimwitted and I will be your substitute history teacher for the day.

buzzard-rp-800x450

Your teacher, Mrs. Mus Slim, born in Dallas, was trapped in flight returning from seeing her family in Turkey and is stranded in New York.

Here are your four options for learning today. Select one that best fits your learning style. Please ensure your devise is connected.

Option One: React to the following sentence appearing on your screen now: Those who forgot the history of civilizations are doomed to repeat it. You may opt to write a blistering essay; create a 30 second Public Service Announcement before the Freedom of the Press goes away and the media goes dark or you may sit quietly fiddling your thumbs or playing your violin while Rome burns.

Option Two: Raise your hand and I will download one of the following movies to your device. After seeing the movie, write a brief review by giving 1 star for poor, obviously an product of Hateful Hollywood to 5 stars for could not stop laughing.

A Day Without Mexicans – One day, California wakes up and every single Latino has inexplicably disappeared. No business owner, doctor, nurse, soldier, teacher, entertainer, athlete or politician can be found. No bus driver, farm worker, cook, gardener or nanny. All gone. California — the ninth largest economy in the world — grinds to a halt because Latinos have vanished. http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/opinion/garcia-illegal-immigrants/

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Yes, you have a question? What is your name again? No, Mohammed, Dr. Strangelove is not about the Chief of Power Steve Bunion pushing the Truth Director, Sean Slicer to say “aggravate the protestors so we can send in the National Guard.”

If you would like to research how successful that strategy worked in previous years, may I call your attention to Kent State, Cal (formerly known as Berkley) or any other college campus during the 1960’s? You might also check how the attack dogs and fire hoses worked against people of color during the same period.

The story concerns an unhinged United States Air Force general who orders a first strike nuclear attack on the Soviet Union. It follows the President of the United States, his advisers, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and a Royal Air Force (RAF) officer as they try to recall the bombers to prevent a nuclear apocalypse. It separately follows the crew of one B-52 bomber as they try to deliver their payload.

Option Three: Do an ancestor search on Kellyanne Conway to ensure she is only channeling in Josef Goebbels and is not actually related to him.

Option Four: Read or reread George Orwell’s novel, 1984. Mark the first page and the first words when you get scared about that was the weekend that was.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/01/a-clarifying-moment-in-american-history/514868/

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January 1, 2017 – HAPPY NEW YEAR! The First Day of the New Year.

Posted on January 1, 2017 | 1 comment

January 1, 2017 – HAPPY NEW YEAR! The First Day of the New Year.

“Staring down a greasy taco plate; bowl of menudo on the side… We were drinking and swinging from the chandeliers…” Ah once upon a time, but no more, but thank you Roger Creager for the memories.

Before I get to my 2017 Predictions, I wanted to share a few really cool gifts I received for Christmas. This first one came totally unexpected. I like those so much – especially when the gift is spot on!

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While the giver knows my love for cameras, what the giver does not know is that this scency is a replica of the first camera I ever learned to use at Magnolia High School in 1966-67. Imagine this happening today. The Conroe Courier gave every yearbook editor in Montgomery County one of these very expensive cameras to use for the year provided we attended a Saturday morning class on how to use it.

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Yes, photography peeps, they trusted a group of teenagers with state of the art, news reporter quality, Leica lens cameras. We were to use the camera to take photographs of school events – aka football games! Such good memories and I am going to be hitting my house with the smell good in 2017.

I liked this too. Angry Mama to clean your microwave.

mad-mama-576x1024As dirty as my microwave is she will probably explode the first time she tries to clean mine. I wonder if she comes in an Angry Mama to clean your house.

Here is a favorite. I got this combination science and magic kit. It seems that the elixir on the left has magic potions of St Belvedere. When poured properly into the magic beaker on the right, the perfect tini temperature is achieved. vodka-576x1024

I cannot wait to try it. It was gift from Pootie and Russians to commemorate taking Poland in 1945.

And now my 2017 New Year’s Day Predictions – just for the first month or so.

Donald Trump will be sworn in via Twitter.

All of the Kardashians and their exes will perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration. I don’t know what they are going to do. What they always do, I suppose, nothing, but dress up and post their photos in Instagram.

Kate McKinnon and Alex Baldwin will not perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration, but will continue to make us laugh on SNL. So love you, Kate!

Rick Perry will lead the dancing at the Inaugural Ball for President Donald and First Lady Melanoma.

Donald Trump and Vlad Putin (aka Pootie) will dance via distance learning a Bromance line dance like Cossacks that creates a viral meme at 3:00 am in the morning. Warning: Putin will be shirtless.

Dancing with the Stars will once again bring us in high definition broken down, old stars, and never heard of before people trying to learn to dance while wearing sequins and feathers.

On January 9, 2017, from Raymond James Stadium in Tampa, Florida for the National College Athletic Association Division FBS 2017 National Championship, invented by Larry Culpepper, we have the Crimson Tide from Alabama versus the Tigers of Clemson from South Carolina. Sidebar: Thank goodness the announcers are the always professional team of Chris Fowler, Samantha Ponder, Tom Rinaldi and my boyfriend want to be, Kirk Herbstreit. Can’t wait for ESPN Game Day this fall. Please come back to Aggieland. And my prediction: ROLLLLLLLL TIDE! Like I even know anybody who even claims they went to Clemson and I don’t like orange in any shade.

Dak, Eskielle and The Boys will win Super Bowl LI (what number is this in Roman?) in Houston in NRG Stadium – home of the Houston Texans. Houston and Texan fans will hate Dallas and The Cowboys even more. Hey! For you non-native born Texans – It’s about oil ya’ll. Football is just a hobby to show off.

Time to go have science experiment, practice Russian and eat black eyed peas and cornbread. Happy New Year’s Day!

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Tuesday, December 13, 2016 – Sociology 101- Memes and Emoticons

Posted on December 13, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, December 13, 2016 – Sociology 101- Memes and Emoticons

Good morning, Class,

Today is Sociology 101. We will be looking at two forms of so called communication. Memes and Emoticons. Spoiler alert: This is one of the HWIT where you think you know where it is going, but you do not.

What is a meme? An internet meme (/miːm/ MEEM) is defined as an activity, concept, catchphrase or piece of media which spreads, often as mimicry, from person to person via the Internet.

Meme sounds like something you call your grandmother. However, it usually involves a video of someone saying or doing something stupid, outrageous and often in a drunken or otherwise enhanced state of mind. It is then immediately and without thought posted to Facebook,Twitter, Instagram, Snap Chat or other social media. Think of it as STD – socially transmitted demonstration.

A meme is not to be confused with an emoticon. Aside from sounding like a laxative, here is a very fancy definition of emoticon to use at the next cocktail party, bar gathering or just to show off to strangers.

An emoticon is a metacommunicative pictorial representation of a facial expression which in the absence of body language and prosody serves to draw a receiver’s attention to the tenor or temper of a sender’s nominal verbal communication, changing and improving its interpretation. It expresses – often by means of punctuation marks – a person’s feelings or mood and can include numbers and letters, as well.

Allow me to translate some big words. Pictorial representation – a picture, somewhat cartoonish in nature. Metacommuncative – multiple means of communications that means different things to different people and to their brains and is dependent upon multiple factors such as current mood, emotional state of mind, alcohol intake, time of day/night, proper parental upbringing, and other social factors.

Prosody is a linguistic term (I like to say linguistic b/c it sound dirty, but isn’t) that means nonverbal cues. You do not hear what the person is saying.

Bottom line emoticons use those symbols and characters on a keyboard that are seldom used in normal communications or they are happy faces on steroids invented by the Japanese.

They all represent the transference of culture among people via technology. Reread that sentence remembering they mean “different things to different people and impact their brains in different ways and they are nonverbal.” Which part of communication am I missing?

In either case I do not use memes or emoticons because I have no idea what the hell they mean. I have no idea what you are saying to me when you use one. I am not learning these hieroglyphics that are device independent and often differ from social media to social media.

For example – do you know what this symbol means? (@_@)

It means socked or confused. http://www.symbols.com/symbol/1149

It is also the look in my eyes every morning to a new cabinet post. What is the meme or emoticon for FUBAR?

Class dismissed.

socked-and-confused

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Thursday, December 8, 2016 – Aunt Bureaucrat’s Words of Wisdom.

Posted on December 8, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, December 8, 2016 – Aunt Bureaucrat’s Words of Wisdom.

“When you’re up to your a$$ in alligators, you forget that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.”

beach-2011-080-800x600

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