Tag Archives: Kellyanne Conway

Thursday, July 13, 2017 – Charmin Chatty Trump Family

Posted on July 13, 2017 | 2 comments

Thursday, July 13, 2017 – Charmin Chatty Trump Family

Who remembers the Chatty Cathy doll manufactured by the Mattel toy company from 1959-1965?

There was also Chatty Baby in 1962 and Tiny Chatty Baby, Tiny Chatty Brother and Charmin’Chatty in 1963. And the last of the Chatty family was Singin’ Chatty in 1965.

The Chatty Cathy mouth did not move. But the doll did speak one of eleven phrases at random when the “chatty ring” on the neck was pulled. The ring was attached to a string connected to a simple phonograph record inside the cavity behind the doll’s abdomen. The record was driven by a metal coil wound by pulling the toy’s string. The doll had 11 phrases when it came on the market in 1960 such as “I love you”, “I hurt myself!” or “Please take me with you.” Seven more phrases such as, “Let’s play school” or “May I have a cookie?” were added to the doll’s repertoire in 1963 for a total of 18 phrases. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chatty_Cathy

Today we have the Charmin Chatty Trump Family, including the Chatty Cathy look alike Chatty Kellyanne and Tinny Chatty Brother, Don T. Jr. and Non-Chatty Jerod. We also have Big Chatty Tweeter.

They all have neck pull rings guaranteed to say the most outrageous phrases. New phrases have been added to the repertoire such as “There is no collusion,” “fake news” and “I did not meet with the Russians.” When the neck ring on Tinny Chatty Brother is pulled he says “I’ve got mail” and “I love it.” Big Chatty Tweeter is programmed to say “Hillary did it” and “Obama did it.” It also constantly repeats “I’ve gone to play golf.”

One needs to order the Charmin Chatty Trump Family dolls now before they are no longer available. These strings cannot be pulled forever and somebody is going to cut their chatty ring strings.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged Chatty Cathy Dolls, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Kellyanne Conway

Wednesday, June 7, 2017 – The Eve of Comey, Spinners and Twitter

Posted on June 8, 2017 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, June 7, 2017 – The Eve of Comey, Spinners and Twitter

I purchased one of these spinner things for $3.00 the other day.

It is called Stress Gear for use at office, home and school. I am having a gross of them shipped to Washington D.C. Half (do the John Wax math) are labeled as such:

For the Congressional Hearings: For those attending former FBI Director, James Comey’s hearing(s) with this note:

Thank you, Mr. Comey. Stay calm and carry on regardless. He gets a red, white and blue one.

The remainder is to be sent to The White House. Jared is to receive the red one (not pictured).

The Glow in the Dark one, as I have, is to be delivered to President Twitter with the following note:

Dear Twitter-in-Chief,

This new secret communication device is better for firing off senseless statements of 140 characters in the middle of the night – or early morning depending on your perspective or what time it is in Russia.

This orange (like your hair) glow in the dark one sends a signal to the Universe as it spins in your little hands giving all of the other aliens and non people like Democrats access to The WH Spin. Be sure Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conman get a spinner. This special model is able to distinguish between fake and real news and sends only the real news and not altered facts. The others can be distributed at random.

The reverse of the package reads:

“Helps focus; Relieves boredom, anxiety and stress and Great for ADHD, ADD, and Autism.” All of this is untrue and unsubstantiated as most of your thoughts and Tweets are. And since you exhibit tendencies of all these serious conditions, I thought this specially designed communication device would be something you would enjoy and could use.

Please use this during former FBI Comey’s testimony tomorrow instead of Twitter. Just keep spinning.

Oh yes. Your entire WH staff can take their spinner with them when they leave – one way or another on their way to egret.

Monday, May 1, 2017 – Mayday! Ring Around the May Pole. My First 100 Days

Posted on May 1, 2017 | 1 comment

Monday, May 1, 2017 – Mayday! Ring Around the May Pole. My First 100 Days

Good Morning, Boys and Girls.

It is the first day of May. May Day should not be confused with “Mayday.” Nor should it be confused with the May Pole. They are both Republican traditions that date back for centuries. (FYI – that is fake news.)

First: Mayday

Today I found out why those aboard planes and ships use the word “Mayday” to indicate they are in extreme distress.

In 1923, a senior radio officer, Frederick Stanley Mockford, in Croydon Airport in London, England was asked to think of one word that would be easy to understand for all pilots and ground staff in the event of an emergency.

The problem had arisen as voice radio communication slowly became more common, so an equivalent to the Morse code SOS distress signal was needed. Obviously a word like “help” wasn’t a good choice for English speakers because it could be used in normal conversations where no one was in distress.

At the time Mockford was considering the request, much of the traffic he was dealing with was between Croydon and Le Bourget Airport in Paris, France. With both the French and English languages in mind, he came up with the somewhat unique word “Mayday”, the anglicized spelling of the French pronunciation of the word “m’aider” which means “help me”.

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/01/planes-ships-used-word-mayday-distress/

Second: The May Pole Dance – This is the origin of pole dancing in America. (FYI – That is also fake-news.)

Puritan Dude pointing out immoral behavior of crew when alcohol is served. Origin of gentlemen’s clubs and judging evangelicals. (FYI – Altered Facts.)

http://time.com/4305252/controversial-maypole-history/

Three: My First 100 Days

Due to space limitations and Sean Spicer’s inability to speak coherently, I shall limit my accomplishments to just the really big; BIG! Big numbers, real good; awesome; major; best days in history of America: all about me.

During My First 100 Days, I have not:

Angered the entire free world, including the historical allies

Really angered the most dangerous nation in the world

Berated the press and all media

Given fake-news or altered facts on national TV or anywhere else

Put my feet on the couch in the Oval Office

Tweeted diplomatic policies at 3:00 AM. Although I usually go to the bathroom about that time, but I am not tweeting.

Accused anybody of wire-tapping my office or spying on me through my microwave

Appointed someone with less credentials than my cat who wants to privatized the public education system

Had a beautiful piece of chocolate cake while sitting across from a foreign leader while sending Tomahawk missiles into a country

Played golf as many times as the potus, but probably played better

Neither have I accomplished any legislation.

Of course I could go on and on because I am so wonderful. Really, really good. Awesome. Best Ever. They like me! They really like me!

So our words/phrases for today are: MAYDAY x 3. May Pole Dancing. And the first 100 Days. What does those words have in common? Trumpet up.

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Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan

Tagged Bets, Donald Trump, humor, Kellyanne Conway, politics, satire

Monday January 30, 2017 – Just a Little Off the Top or That Was The Weekend That Was – TWTW!

Posted on January 30, 2017 | Leave a comment

Monday January 30, 2017 – Just a Little Off the Top or That Was The Weekend That Was – TWTW!

For the history geeks of the world…

Good Morning Class. I am Dr. Dimwitted and I will be your substitute history teacher for the day.

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Your teacher, Mrs. Mus Slim, born in Dallas, was trapped in flight returning from seeing her family in Turkey and is stranded in New York.

Here are your four options for learning today. Select one that best fits your learning style. Please ensure your devise is connected.

Option One: React to the following sentence appearing on your screen now: Those who forgot the history of civilizations are doomed to repeat it. You may opt to write a blistering essay; create a 30 second Public Service Announcement before the Freedom of the Press goes away and the media goes dark or you may sit quietly fiddling your thumbs or playing your violin while Rome burns.

Option Two: Raise your hand and I will download one of the following movies to your device. After seeing the movie, write a brief review by giving 1 star for poor, obviously an product of Hateful Hollywood to 5 stars for could not stop laughing.

A Day Without Mexicans – One day, California wakes up and every single Latino has inexplicably disappeared. No business owner, doctor, nurse, soldier, teacher, entertainer, athlete or politician can be found. No bus driver, farm worker, cook, gardener or nanny. All gone. California — the ninth largest economy in the world — grinds to a halt because Latinos have vanished. http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/02/opinion/garcia-illegal-immigrants/

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Yes, you have a question? What is your name again? No, Mohammed, Dr. Strangelove is not about the Chief of Power Steve Bunion pushing the Truth Director, Sean Slicer to say “aggravate the protestors so we can send in the National Guard.”

If you would like to research how successful that strategy worked in previous years, may I call your attention to Kent State, Cal (formerly known as Berkley) or any other college campus during the 1960’s? You might also check how the attack dogs and fire hoses worked against people of color during the same period.

The story concerns an unhinged United States Air Force general who orders a first strike nuclear attack on the Soviet Union. It follows the President of the United States, his advisers, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and a Royal Air Force (RAF) officer as they try to recall the bombers to prevent a nuclear apocalypse. It separately follows the crew of one B-52 bomber as they try to deliver their payload.

Option Three: Do an ancestor search on Kellyanne Conway to ensure she is only channeling in Josef Goebbels and is not actually related to him.

Option Four: Read or reread George Orwell’s novel, 1984. Mark the first page and the first words when you get scared about that was the weekend that was.

https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/01/a-clarifying-moment-in-american-history/514868/