Friday, September 15, 2023 – Snark on Medians and Snarky Friday Football
Let us begin and snark out on The Median that Stole Christmas. Somewhere, some transportation medium minds decided to install medians with turn lanes on all of the major roads that connect and intersect in Bryan and College Station.
This means I have to go two blocks beyond my dentist office, turn left, go through two parking lots, cross a street, go through another parking lot and then go down a back alley to get to my dentist’s office. This is all because the left turn that was once right in front of the dentist office is now an uncrossable median.
But wait! Because there are now medians all along Texas Avenue connecting College Station to Bryan, it means the 93rd year old tradition of a BCS Christmas parade will not happen in 2023. The floats and other parade stuff (marching bands, drill teams, horses, etc.) CANNOT maneuver the medians. Bah Humbug!
But floating on to my football games for week three. I am so confused. Who’s on First? I have not heard of these teams. It’s another Cupcake Weekend.
The 11:00 am hour begins with Long Island in Waco playing Baylor on Big12. I thought long island was a type of alcoholic tea. But given the way Baylor is playing, they might not be able to beat their way out of a tea bag.
Florida State plays Boston College at 11:00 on ABC. I so enjoy teams with the same colored uniforms. This should be a blow out unless there is a Flutie resurgence.
There is an 11:00 game that might be worth watching. On ESPN LSU meets Mississippi State in Starkville. Come on Big Solid Awards! Sorry, CSE, I have to go with Bulldogs and maroon and white.
Moving through the day, at 2:30 on CBS Georgia continues to sleep walk against South Carolina. And Alabama tries to regroup from last week and plays the women’s hockey team from Our Lady of the Swamp Academy. Actually, the TIDE plays South Florida. Bama? Do not make me give you a Grocery Award for the number of sacks this week.
Oklahoma plays Tulsa at 2:30 on ESPN2. Boomer Sooner Cupcake? Who knows.
My game at 9:00 will be a Rocky Mountain Showdown between Colorado State and Colorado Deion. Shedeur not want to piss off Colorado. Oops, too late. One more game and the Buffaloes might be real.
The evening games begin with Tarleton State (aka Little Aggies) against Tortilla Tech in Lubbock at 6:00 on some network I do not get. I would love to have the income from the number of Wrangler wearing and Roper stompers that will be at this game. Lots of cowboys and cowgirls from both sides. This game will fund Tarleton’s entire athletic budget. FYI – Tarleton is a really cool little school. It has a secret organization named Purple Poo! How cool is that?
Speaking of purple poo, TCU and the U of Houston might be fun to watch at 7:00 on Fox. Coaches’ seats are warming up for both sides. Dana? Rice? You lost to Rice?
Speaking of cowboys the University of Wyoming visits Austin and THE UNIVERSITY of Texas. My prediction – TU will win big against a much inferior team. Then they will scream and hoot and holler again about how good they are. DA will post several memes on FB to irritate me but will make me laugh. In spite of a large victory margin, there will be no Manning the ship this week.
And now, the Game of the Week. Texas A&M University versus the University of Louisiana at Monroe – ULAMO! This game is at 3:00 on the SECN.
A little about the opponent. It was founded in 1931 as “the state’s most attractive bayou school.” Pretty much lost me at bayou. It was called Ouachita Parish Junior College until three years later when the legislature renamed it the University of North Center of Louisiana State University. While I am not certain but this could have been done because no one could pronounce Ouachita and it sounds like a banana.
In 1939 it was renamed Northeast Junior College to LSU. It pretty much remained that way until 1950 when it became a four year college named Northeast Louisiana State College. In 1969 it was renamed Northeast Louisiana University. And finally in 1999 it was renamed the University of Louisiana at Monroe or ULAMO. Actually I just snarked the ULAMO label.
Prominent alumni are the country-western singer, Tim McGraw and the Alabama women’s basketball coach, Kristy Curry – a really good coach! And also one of those Duck Dynasty fellows. I do not know which one because they all look alike. Plus, I was shocked that one of them is a college graduate.
The school’s mascot is Ace the Warhawk. As you can see it is another anthropomorphic character or a person in a bird outfit.
An interesting factoid about ULM is that since 1979 the schools has won 28 National Collegiate Water Skiing Championships. Is this like equestrian sports where you must bring your own horse. Do you have to bring your own boat?
This is school that has an enrollment of 6929 undergraduates. HWIT, there are probably that many undergrads in all of the A&M athletics programs combined. And that includes the quidditch team and intramurals.
Therefore, HWIT – Jimbo/Bobby! I want to see everybody play and everybody score. I want a special teams’ score and a defensive score. I want lots of offensive scores! I want the score with two minutes remaining to be so large over ULAMO, that a 75 year old woman, with a hip replacement could run a play. Remember Appalachian State!. If this is not a supreme blow out, then the Big Solid Swear Jar will go to the BUYOUT!
And don’t forget you got more war fowls flying in next week.
BTHO ULAMO!
Here's What I'm Thinking 