Tuesday, July 16, 2019 – Tuesday Profundity

Tuesday, July 16, 2019 – Tuesday Profundity

Whoever said “April is the cruelest month,” never lived in Texas in the summer. Dang it is hot. Feels like being in Hell wearing gasoline underwear.

Speaking of underwear… I know; the transition is a stretch, but so is the underwear.

I was actually planning to write something profound and highly intelligent sounding today. While the day began quite well, it was shortly after I got to the gym that everything did a complete 180.

I was doing a five minute warm-up on the elliptical. Into about minute one of the exercise, I realized something was amiss among the nether region. Nevertheless, I finished exercise, stepped down and calmly walked to the Women’s Room.

I not only had my spandex undershorts on backwards, they were wrong side out. In my attempt to correct, I almost dropped my outer, regular shorts in the toilet. Therefore, I am not writing anything profound other than “Check your underwear before you go out.”

Stay cool.

Don’t Mess With Our Blue Bell!

“April is the cruelest month,” by T. S. Eliot, is the opening like of The Waste Land.

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Attention Texas Aggies, English teachers, Texas Aggie English teachers and readers of all sorts of books!

I am waiting for my vacation pictures to be developed. What that means is I have been too lazy to get my pictures from last weekend’s trip to Fredericksburg loaded on the computer, organized, sorted, and resized. I only had three cameras. I know I made Honeyboy proud by taking so many photographs.

Meanwhile, these two books are a must read. They are total opposite in nature.

Melanie Shankle – Everyday Holy – Finding a Big God in the Little Moments of Life.

Melanie Shankle is a Former Student of Texas A&M University (WHOOP!) who lives in Texas. Her book was given to me as a gift because the giver said “She writes like you do.” That is a great compliment because like Ms. Shankle, I try to be humorous, clever, spiritual and religious, and often irreverent. I would like ask her though – “What’s with the glossy pages?” I have to keep tilting the book to adjust the glare.

Casey Cep – Furious Hours

If you are from Alabama, know someone from Alabama, went to the University of Alabama, root for Alabama, ever visited or driven through Alabama, and/or like Alabama history and politics this is a must read.

If you ever read In Cold Blood and To Kill a Mockingbird, this is a must read.

If you ever heard of Truman Capote and Harper Lee, this is a must read.

Now I must go and check on my vacation pictures.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019 – Go Vandy!

Wednesday, June 26, 2019 – Go Vandy!

The winner of tonight’s College World Series will be decided. Tonight is Game three in the final best two of three series between Vanderbilt and Michigan. The series is tied. I am picking Vanderbilt and here’s why.

  • I have been to Nashville.
  • I have never been to Ann Arbor.
  • Vanderbilt is in the SEC.
  • Great Uniforms
    • The military look looks good on the players. In the final regional game Vandy wore an army brown and in game one of the CWS the players wore a drab olive green. It is difficult to wear a dirt brown and drab olive uniform and still be able to pull it off with red, white, and blue accessories and patches.
    • Pinstripes – I am a sucker for pinstripes. The black uniforms with gold pinstripes were outstanding. They too were accessorized with gold and white colors.

Here’s what I’m thinking. Tonight, as Vanderbilt faces off against Michigan, the Vandy players should wear Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, with a gold and white jersey and black lettering. It just seems right, don’t you think?

Win it for Gloria and the rest of the SEC!

 

Friday, June 21, 2019 The Summer Solstice

Friday, June 21, 2019 – The Summer Solstice

At 10:54 a.m. CDT today the summer solstice is noted. Head out to your local Stonehenge for celebrating.

The Stonehenge of Texas – Doesn’t every state have one?

Today is the longest day of the year with the longest hours of sunlight. After today, we slowly begin our decent into darkness until we fall back with a time change. This means it is dark by 5:30 p.m.

This is awesome because it means we are getting closer to football season and one does not have to feel guilty about going to bed when it still light outside – like at 6:00 p.m.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Thursday, June 20, 2019

We all know that colon cancer is very serious. My grandfather died from it and several of my friends succumbed to it. Colonoscopies and other mechanisms do prevent and provide early detection. Please be sure to schedule yours. Or you can get one of those other mechanisms or kits and provide some home tests.

But here’s what I’m thinking. Am I the only one concerned that we are mailing our crap through the U.S. Postal Service? Just saying.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019 – The Word of the Day

Tuesday, June 18, 2019 – The Word of the Day

Good Morning, Boys and Girls.

Good morning, Dr. Dimwiddie.

Our vocabulary word for the day is “epiphonema.”

It means a sentence that is an exclamation, a general striking comment, or a succinct summary of what has previously been said.

Let us use it in a sentence. “What a great song!”

This, of course refers to the lovely lyrics …

“Tall and tan, and young and lovely, the girl from epiphonema goes walking

And when she passes, each one she passes goes – ah…”

Face plant cat!

Monday, June 17, – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Monday, June 17, 2019 – Here’s What I’m Thinking – DrDrD85.me

Recently I have acquired several new followers on Facebook. My blog, Here’s What I’m Thinking is linked to FB and other social media. But you can also access at DrDrD85.me

Therefore, it is time as Saint Madelyn Hunter, Patron Saint of Education, says “it is time to review.”

It is called HWIT because in long, boring and often unproductive meetings I would sit in silence until asked my thoughts. I always began with “here’s what I’m thinking.”

The purpose is made make at least one person smile or laugh. If I know you or have known you, I WILL write about you at some point. Therefore, it is imperative that you follow and read in the event it is YOU I am writing about. And you better hope I like you or else the results might not favor you.

During the fall I write about college football. I write about the Texas Aggies and all of the other teams of the SEC. It just means more! On Friday’s there is Snarky Friday where the Football Snark reveals her comments on upcoming teams and their games.

Snarky Friday is followed by My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards. Categories include, but are limited to:

  • Poopy Undies for the teams that scare their fans with close games, (Most of us are still recovering from Texas A&M and LSU from last year.)
  • Worse Uniforms as we often see what, hideous shades of yellow and green Nike premiers in Oregon,
  • Helmets receive their own category which includes subcategories of “best shine, “best possible glow in the dark” and “what is that crappy design on the side?”
  • The Brent Mushmouth Award is given to the Booth Mouths who talk during the game, over the calls, tell what they did in college, second guess the coach, the referees and the fans, seldom actually call what is happening on the field and other mindless mouth dribble,
  • The Zebra Awards, sponsored by the Helen Keller School for Referees, are given to the officials for just about anything,
  • The Big 12 Conference is really only ten schools but only a few count anyway. This is includes THE University of Texas, Baylor, Oklahoma State and Tortilla Tech. I seldom write about the other Big 12 schools until basketball season,
  • And last and never least, The Exploding Head Coach Award is awarded to the head coach who loses it, run on to the field, turns red in the face, and throws down and breaks his head phones. It is always a close race between Uncle Will Muschamp and Nick Saban.

So whether your favorite school Gigs Em, Sics Em, Hooks Em, Rolls the Tide, Geauxs Tigers, Goes Cowboys, Boomers Sooners them, Goes State, or even Tortilla Flings, I got your school. Sometimes I even throw in an Ohio State and Penn State for those friends not fortunate to be from Texas.

While, I, like many others, anxiously wait until kickoff, we do have the College World Series – aka The Post Season SEC Baseball Tournament. Therefore, I proudly award the Poopy Undies to the Bulldogs of Mississippi State for their comeback to win rally over Auburn in the ninth inning. Who names a school after a hair color? Go State! and Roll Tide!

Happy Father’s Day, Honeyboy

The summer before my sophomore year at SFA, my parents and I, and my Mother’s sister and brother-in-law, Claudia and Ralph Daye drove from Texas to Denver to see Claudia and Ralph’s son, Joe. I believe we went in our 1962 blue and white Chevrolet Impala. The 1969 beige Chevrolet Impala is subject of another story for another time.

We had a marvelous 10 days in the cool air of the Rocky Mountains and experienced the unbelievable beautiful scenery of the state. Everything had been perfect until we reached some place in New Mexico on the return trip. We stopped someplace for lunch. Upon finishing and leaving the restaurant, Honeyboy (if you do not know why he was called Honeyboy, let me know) asked if I would drive to Lubbock where we planned to spend the night before driving home to Conroe the next day.

Of course I wanted to drive. This relegated Uncle Ralph to sit in the back seat with Mother and Aunt Claudie. We piled into the car. I turned the ignition key to get the air conditioning started, adjusted the review mirror, adjusted the outside mirror and adjusted the seat, just like the Drivers’ Ed manual said to do.

Honeyboy was riding shotgun as he always did. Just before we were to pull out of the parking space, I said, “Let me put this medicine on my lip for my fever blister.” I did not take into consideration the heat of New Mexico; nor did I realize the heat inside of a car in New Mexico heat. I twisted the top off the green jar of Metholatum, only to find the entire contents in liquid form. The entire liquid contents of the jar split into my lap – aka crotch.

While I was screaming, Mother and Claudia were howling with laughter, and my father said “Drive. We have to get there before dark.”

He refused to stop, unpack the already stuffed car to let me change clothes. I received no help from Mother or Aunt Claudia who continued to laugh until we crossed into Texas and even then. Uncle Ralph kept asking what’s that smell?

It was almost three hours to Lubbock. The one thing I remember about the car was an air conditioning vent sat just below the steering wheel right at the level it needed to be to drive three hours with a body part on fire smelling like menthol.

Years later as his health declined and he would be sad, I could always get him to laugh when I would ask “Remember when I spilled the Metholatum fell in my crotch?” He would laugh and say “Yep, soon as we got to a hotel in Lubbock, you jumped in the swimming pool, clothes and all before the rest of us got out of the car.”

Honeyboy, I hope you, Mama, Dale and Aunt Claudie and Uncle Ralph are laughing about it today. I also hope Heaven doesn’t smell like Metholatum.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019 – Good Bye Theta Burger

Wednesday, June 12, 2019 – Good Bye Theta Burger

I took pictures the last time I was there knowing Hut’s Hamburgers would soon be a memory.

I shall miss my favorite – the theta burger and the biggest and best onion rings ever!

Friday, June 7, 2019 – Do You Ever Wonder?

Friday, June 7, 2019 – Do You Ever Wonder?

Do you ever wonder what the crime lab team would say if they had to come into your house if you had an accident while you were away?

Here’s what I’m thinking they might say upon entering my house.

  • Ooh, PHEW! She has a cat!
  • Not much of a house keeper, was she?
  • Did she have a date or is she just lazy and doesn’t pick her clothes up off of the floor? (I think we all know the answer to this one.)
  • Help, me! I’m stuck in the kitchen. To the floor!
  • Well, she did make her bed!

Stay cool this weekend. In Texas the weekend weather forecasts just post pictures of the hinges of Hell. Then again, God gave the Devil the choice of where to live – Hell or Texas in the summer. Heat index could be 107 degrees.