Thursday, June 1, 2017 – What’s for Dinner? What Kind of Wine?

Thursday, June 1, 2017 – What’s for Dinner? What Kind of Wine?

After a long day at work one can treat the family to a home cooked meal at a local restaurant. I wonder what the sides are. What kind of wine goes with roadkill? Red or wine? Bon appetite.

Montgomery, Texas 6.1.17 Photo by me

 

 

Wednesday, May 31, 2017 – “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”

Wednesday, May 31, 2017 – “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”

Good morning, boys and girls,

Our new word for the day is: Covfefe. It appears to be a new word for the world made up by the Tweeter in Chief. Currently there seems to be no exact definition or translation or history of usage on this planet. However, Fake News, Inc. reports it is possible this is the translation from the Russian term “covfefenski” which means “highly disliked reporters and people smarter than me.” (sic)

Other unknown and unidentified and made up sources think the word is proof the alien Pod People from the Planet Denial were successful when they said “Take me to your leader.”

Other more credible sources, including but not limited to the FBI believe the word “covfefe” means “The Truth is Out There.” This slogan worked well for the agency when files were known as the X-Files.

Like most of the world we really do not know what President Twitter meant in his morning twitter rant. But since he is giving his cell number to everyone, I will try to contact him later. I hope he does not have one of those burner phones.

Meanwhile, how about a nice tune for Ivanka and Jared today? Here’s Call Me, by Blondie. Such fun lyrics. Roll me in designer sheets too. And call me for your lover’s alibi.  I think the lyrics are now available in Chinese.

 

May 30, 2017 – Turn Out the Lights; the Party’s Over!

May 30, 2017 – Turn Out the Lights; the Party’s Over!

“Turn out the lights; the party’s over;

They say that all good things must end;

Turn out the lights: the party’s over;

And tomorrow starts the same old thing again.”

I doubt that the wonderful country singer Ray Price was talking about the government. Yesterday was sine die for the 85th Texas Legislature. The day of adjournment until called again. Or until Governor Abbott checks his vacation calendar.

So how did the 85th Legislature end? In protest of SB 4 – Immigration. There was the 3 AM singing at the Governor’s Mansion protests. A Republican House member called Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) to remove protestors in the capitol. Note: these protesters in red should not be confused with the women dressed in red as in The Hand Maiden’s Tale.  These were in The Senate Gallery. These and others were protesting almost every piece of legislation. In fact, it is difficult to know your protestors in Austin without a program.

Then there was the floor shoving match in the House of Representatives which resulted in a threatening language to a colleague with words like “gun” and “bullet” and “your head” in the same sentence. This was followed by the Governor signing new gun legislation. Do not go ballistic; I happen to like guns. Just saying PR people need to do better at press releasing timing.

And that is just the tip of the dome. According to The Houston Chronicle, it will cost about $800,000 for one special session. But it will be so worth it for Dan, The Evangelical to lead the Bathroom Brigade of Buffoonery into Texas Public Schools. Because there is one thing every Texas school child needs to know and that is where to go to the bathroom. Biology textbooks will soon show diagrams that show is it is not just “the outside” junk that counts in gender, but also “the inside junk.” We all know the only places that transgender people hang out are public schools.Designating a special place to urinate in schools should be the highest priority of the Texas legislature.

Here’s what I’m thinking. When Dan the Evangelical gets his way and the idiots are called to leave their villages, the Texas bathroom bill will pass. Therefore every bathroom that is designated “The Different One” should have a poster size photo of Dan, the Evangelical falling on his sword.

Keep your voter registration card current.

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Monday, May 29, 2017 – Memorial Day OKC TAMU WCWS and Sine Die, but Hold Your Bladders!

Today let us pause at 3:00 PM local time for a moment of silence for all who sacrificed for our freedom to pursue life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. You are not forgotten.

Thank you vets that my pursuit of happiness is headed toward Oklahoma City (OKC) to see the Fighting Texas Aggie (TAMU) softball team win the Women’s College World Series (WCWS). No, I am not going. There are certain advantages to attending. For example,

  1. being part of the excitement,
  2. participating in the Fan Fest activities,
  3. purchasing a T-shirt
  4. seeing your team win or
  5. supporting your team in a loss.

Of course there are advantages to staying home. For example, (in order they come to mind)

  1. beer,
  2. wine,
  3. beer with no waiting line,
  4. wine with no waiting line,
  5. instant replay,
  6. able to scream obscenities at umpires and coaches and not be expelled from your home,
  7. able to pause game
  8. a clean bathroom or at least you know who’s dirt it is
  9. wine,
  10. beer,
  11. wearing an Aggie T-shirt you found on the floor that morning,
  12. wearing the T-shirt you slept in,
  13. wearing the shorts you had on yesterday,
  14. not wearing foundation garments,
  15. not sitting on the front row behind home plate exposing my fish belly white legs and giving the camera a view I do not want to expose on national TV, especially not wearing foundation garments,
  16. no need for sunscreen,
  17. beer,
  18. wine,
  19. two equal opportunity, available to all who have the urge to go bathrooms. Note: My RP retirement document is of special interest in the guest bathroom, but best of all,
  20. Being a part of the 12th Man and watching the Aggies win the WCWS, able to dance throughout the house and sing War Hymn.

The WCSW begins in Oklahoma City on Thursday, June 1 on ESPN. FYI – These ain’t your church softball games. Watch some incredible athletes.  Bet you haven’t seen girls throw like this before!

 

But wait, the lusty month of May is not yet over – especially for public schools. There are still more buses the public institution can be thrown under.

Today is Sine Die or the last day of the Texas Legislature.

But hold your bladders. We, Texans, still do not know where to go to the bathroom. So Dan, The Evangelical, is calling for a Special Legislative Session. Of course, he is blaming it on the Speaker of the House, Cajones Straus because Speaker Straus will not play with stupid legislation or those who support it. This of course is the Abbott and Castello Show of Texas. Could we just sine die both of you without assigning a day for a further meeting or hearing?

Am I the only one who finds irony in tax payers’ dollars funding a special legislative session regarding property taxes and where to potty places in public schools?

Saturday, May 27, 2017 – Memorial Day Remembrances

Saturday, May 27, 2017 – Memorial Day Remembrances

It does not matter the century, the decade or the war, let us never forget those who took The Oath.

And let us not forget all who are MIA and especially Fighting Texas Aggie, Captain John R. Baldridge, Jr. USAF, downed in 1968.

Butch, I wore your POW/MIA bracelet from 1968 until it finally broke into too many pieces to repair. Today I wear a POW/MIA dog tag with your name engraved on the back. It also has the little diamond for hope when your cross on The Vietnam Wall changes to the diamond marking you are home.

http://www.vvmf.org/Wall-of-Faces/2152/JOHN-R-BALDRIDGE-JR

16 W 97

Friday, May 26, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football – 93 Days

Friday, May 26, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football – 93 Days

Ninety-three days till kick off begins

Ninety-three days till then

Tomorrow begins 92 and

We start all over again.

Ninety-two days till kick off begins …

It depends on the source as to exactly the number of days until NCAA College Football begins. I do not care as long as it begins. Here are some thoughts of what I am thinking as we wait anxiously for college kick off weekend.

Why are Stanford and Rice playing in Australia? Will the Rice MOB play Tie e kangaroo down, Sport and jump around the field? Perhaps they will play Waltzing Matilda and waltz in formation. Will the Leland Stanford Jr. College Band be off of probation to attend?

Is ESPN Game Day coming to College Station? Kirk Herbstreit, can ya’ll please come? I promise this year I will personally bring you barbecue from Fargo’s so I can meet you and take a selfie with all of you. Mr. Herbstreit and Mr. Howard, I would so love to have a photo of us doing a quarterback pose and the Heisman pose. I would like this because both of you are hotties and I am a 68 year old woman and can still do the poses and not fall over or break a hip. Mr. Fowler is pretty cute, but that Corso guy? Please do not let him photo bomb our pictures.

When do Texas Aggie Maroon Out 2017 shirts go on sale? Maroon Out 2017 shirts go on sale June 1. And every Aggie and Former Student knows: it is not about the shirt. It is the 12th Man! Gig ‘Em! http://classcouncils.tamu.edu/node/132

When is Maroon Out Game for 2017? The Maroon Out game has not been determined. HWIT – I am going to ensure my shirt is clean and ready to tailgate on October 7 when the Crimson Tide Rolls in. It could be October 28 when the Bulldogs from Mississippi State visit. That would really be a maroon filled stadium though. http://www.12thman.com/schedule.aspx?path=football

Just realized I have not said too many snarky comments. Therefore, let me say:

Big 12 Conference! OU – we’re leaving. Oklahoma State – we’re going to win it.

Kansas State – Snyder is still alive. Kansas – when does basketball season begin? Iowa State – why are you even in this conference? West Virginia – Can be spoilers to hopes, but I think Dana is cute.

Texas Tech – Is this coaching seat hot or is it just me? TCU – Do these purple pants make me look fat? Yes, Patterson, they do. Baylor – praying for a resurrection in Waco.

THE University of Texas – Hook ‘Em Hippies and it better be quickly.

Snarky Friday – 92 days till kick off begins; 92 days till then …

Thursday, May 25, 2017 – Goodness. Gracious. Great Balls of Fire!

Thursday, May 25, 2017 – Goodness. Gracious. Great Balls of Fire!

I found this item on Twitter this morning from the Austin American Statesman. I want to ensure my friend, Howard sees it. Howard, if you do not have a Loud Mouth Billy Bass fish for your roosters, let me know and I will get you one, deliver it to you and take pictures of the roosters’ responses. And that is only the first part of the story below.

I also want to ensure my friend, Joan Allen sees this item. Joan, I wonder if there is a demonstration of an oral castration of hogs. Is this Castell Festival sponsored by R. Perky?

Christmas is six months from today. Just so you know… I do not want to find tickets to the testival in my stocking.

Anyway, click on the link for a good Thursday laugh. Thought for the day: Don’t order the cow fries or mountain oysters.

Austin Statesman (@statesman) tweeted at 9:30 AM on Thu, May 25, 2017:

The Castell Testicle Festival was last weekend: Nuts, we missed it … https://t.co/kMT8ZQuvqb https://t.co/uU7Aiv4UsV

(https://twitter.com/statesman/status/867749674337398784?s=09)

Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Source: Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Monday, May 22, 2017 – Global Update and Texas Public School News

Good Morning Civics Class.

Our vocabulary word for the day is: ultracrepidarian. (uhl-truh-krep-i-DAIR- ee-uh-n) It is an adjective noting or pertaining to a person, who criticizes, judges or gives advice outside the area of his or her expertise.

Let us explore some examples of persons who might be described as ultracrepidarian.

At the global level The United States’ ultracrepidarian Potus is sword fighting with Saudi royalty. Talk about sabre rattling. They all went to the Toby Keith Testosterone Concert, part of the Hand Maiden’s Tale Tour. Meanwhile, Malaria the Silent and Blondie Anorexia are showing a great deal of leg for an Arab country that covers their women in sheets.

I really do not know what to think about that glowing orb thing. It is creepy. I think it is three billionaires contacting the Mother Ship for further details. It is also possible the sheiks told POTUS it was the newest thing for penile dysfunction and is available for only $19.95 (easily converted to rubles) via the Internet.

Today Trumpet is to visit the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. Fake New, Inc. reports he is exploring moving the wall to Laredo, Texas or somewhere in Arizona. FYI – Do not even think about putting the words “wall” and “Big Bend” in the same sentence.

“But in Texas the talk turned to outlaws, like Willie, Waylon and me.” (David Allen Coe. 1976) Other outlaws now include, but are not limited to: the entire Texas Legislature. What is happening in The Lone Star State of Texas?

There is one week of public schools left in the year and one week left in the Texas Legislature. Of course that fat lady is not warming up to sing and Saint Dan, The Evangelical can still hold bills in the Senate hostage and call special sessions until he gets his way. But he might be content to throw the entire public school system and its children under the big yellow legislative bus.

First, the bathroom bill. Am I reading this correctly? This now only applies to K-12 public schools? And the lower chamber pot (The House) stuck this in the bill as amendment for the requirements for an ISD’s for emergency preparations?

The Texas House passed bathroom restrictions for transgender students.

…An amendment was added to school districts’ emergency plans and added language requiring K-12 schools provide single-stall restrooms and other public areas to a student “who does not wish” to use facilities designated by “biological sex.”

What happened to “local control?” or as we say in Texas, “by God Independent School District.” Is there funding in the school finance bill to make these accommodations or is this an “unfunded mandate?” Why not add an amendment to make the “other bathroom” a pay toilet and name it the Dan Patrick Potty ? If you are going to discriminate, then go all out. This might pay for the required upgrades the school has to make or at least increase custodial pay for those who have to clean up when everyone pees on the floor.

School Finance. The upper chamber pot did approve the school finance bill. But only if it included Voucher Language. Let me translate. If your child is disabled you can use my tax dollars that take away from the public school system and can be used for private schooling. It also reads as though my tax dollars can go to parents educating their children at home.

The Senate put a voucher-like program in House Bill 21, the school finance bill.

The upper chamber early Monday morning approved a bill that would simplify the formulas for funding public schools and allow parents of kids with disabilities to take state money to leave the public system for private schools or homeschooling. HB 21 now includes a provision the House hates and Patrick wants: state subsidies for parents who want to send their children with disabilities to private schools or need money for services to educate them at home.

In summary, here’s what I’m thinking. Please protect the public school system from ultracrepidarian politicians. And please protect all Texas children and especially those in foster care, who are transgendered, and with disabilities from the Texas Legislature.

https://www.texastribune.org/2017/05/22/brief-may-22/?utm_campaign=trib-social-buttons&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social

Friday, May 19, 2017 – Stella! Hey Stella! A Street Car Named Desire in 37 Words.

Friday, May 19, 2017 – Stella! Hey Stella! A Street Car Named Desire in 37 Words.

NOLA – 2017 – Copyright Delia R. Duffey 2017

They told me to take a streetcar named Desire and then transfer to one called Cemeteries and ride six blocks and get off at Elysian Fields.

Stella! Hey Stella!

I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers.

The Desire Line Streetcar is named after Desire Street in New Orleans. The Pulitzer Prize winning play by Tennessee Williams is Southern Gothic at its finest. New Orleans. Crazy people.

In the South we are proud of our crazy people. In fact, we like to sit on the front porch with them and have cocktails. Howeveh, many of us do not like to elect crazy people president of the United States. We prefer that governor of a state is plenty politics for crazy people.

Here’s what I’m thinking.

I bet when Trumpet said “I’m going to drain the swamp,” he forgot to check and see how many alligators lived there.”

I doubt Trumpet will repeat Blanche’s line as she is carted off to the looney bin. But he could tweet it at 3:00 AM.