Category Archives: Native Texan

Monday, May 1, 2017 – Mayday! Ring Around the May Pole. My First 100 Days

Monday, May 1, 2017 – Mayday! Ring Around the May Pole. My First 100 Days

Good Morning, Boys and Girls.

It is the first day of May. May Day should not be confused with “Mayday.” Nor should it be confused with the May Pole. They are both Republican traditions that date back for centuries. (FYI – that is fake news.)

First: Mayday

Today I found out why those aboard planes and ships use the word “Mayday” to indicate they are in extreme distress.

In 1923, a senior radio officer, Frederick Stanley Mockford, in Croydon Airport in London, England was asked to think of one word that would be easy to understand for all pilots and ground staff in the event of an emergency.

The problem had arisen as voice radio communication slowly became more common, so an equivalent to the Morse code SOS distress signal was needed.  Obviously a word like “help” wasn’t a good choice for English speakers because it could be used in normal conversations where no one was in distress.

At the time Mockford was considering the request, much of the traffic he was dealing with was between Croydon and Le Bourget Airport in Paris, France. With both the French and English languages in mind, he came up with the somewhat unique word “Mayday”, the anglicized spelling of the French pronunciation of the word “m’aider” which means “help me”.

http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/01/planes-ships-used-word-mayday-distress/

Second: The May Pole Dance – This is the origin of pole dancing in America. (FYI – That is also fake-news.)

Puritan Dude pointing out immoral behavior of crew when alcohol is served. Origin of gentlemen’s clubs and judging evangelicals. (FYI – Altered Facts.)

http://time.com/4305252/controversial-maypole-history/

Three: My First 100 Days

Due to space limitations and Sean Spicer’s inability to speak coherently, I shall limit my accomplishments to just the really big; BIG! Big numbers, real good; awesome; major; best days in history of America: all about me.

During My First 100 Days, I have not:

Angered the entire free world, including the historical allies

Really angered the most dangerous nation in the world

Berated the press and all media

Given fake-news or altered facts on national TV or anywhere else

Put my feet on the couch in the Oval Office

Tweeted diplomatic policies at 3:00 AM. Although I usually go to the bathroom about that time, but I am not tweeting.

Accused anybody of wire-tapping my office or spying on me through my microwave

Appointed someone with less credentials than my cat who wants to privatized the public education system

Had a beautiful piece of chocolate cake while sitting across from a foreign leader while sending Tomahawk missiles into a country

Played golf as many times as the potus, but probably played better

Neither have I accomplished any legislation.

Of course I could go on and on because I am so wonderful. Really, really good. Awesome. Best Ever. They like me! They really like me!

So our words/phrases for today are: MAYDAY x 3. May Pole Dancing. And the first 100 Days. What does those words have in common? Trumpet up.

Wednesday, April, 26, 2017 – 100 Days and How Many More Until 2020?

Wednesday, April, 26, 2017 – 100 Days and How Many More Until 2020?

 

I missed Kellyanne Conway’s report on POTUS’s 100 Days.

Do you know if it will be repeated and on what channel?

The Comedy Channel? Game Show Channel – Idiot Test or Family Feud?

The SyFy Channel or Fox News? They might be the same depending on your service.

Or should I just watch Sean Spicer’s “What I Meant to Say” WH press briefings on the news?

I did see where a group of wild hogs attacked several members of ISIS and killed them. I know that Texas has a wild feral hog problems. Couldn’t the US just invade ISIS controlled  countries with wild hogs?  Texas could send the state gun.

 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017 – The State Gun

Tuesday, April 25, 2017 – The State Gun

I miss one day of Here’s What I’m Thinking only to learn The Lone Star State will soon have a state gun. It is a cannon. Not a handgun. Not a revolver. Not a pistol. Not a hunting rifle. But a cannon. Kinda gives “Don’t Mess With Texas” a new meaning, doesn’t it? And is the state gun subject to open carry? You know some East Montgomery County folks will want to carry their cannon to town.

Have a booming day and God Bless Texas.

Angelina Elerby – The Texas Archives War. Austin, Texas Photo by me

Friday, April 21, 2017 – Softly Call the Muster

Friday, April 21, 2017 – Softly Call the Muster

The 2017 Texas A&M Muster will honor H. DuVal, Jr.’51, the author of The Last Corps Trip. His family and Aggies across the world will answer “Here” for him and all Aggies who marched in behind the band this year.

Photo by me. Bonfire Memorial. Texas A&M Campus.

The Last Corps Trip

It was Judgment Day in Aggieland

And tenseness filled the air;

All knew there was a trip at hand,

But not a soul knew where.

Assembled on the drill field

Was the world-renowned Twelfth Man,

The entire fighting Aggie team

And the famous Aggie Band.

And out in front with Royal Guard

The reviewing party stood;

St. Peter and his angel staff

Were choosing bad from good.

First he surveyed the Aggie team

And in terms of an angel swore,

“By Jove, I do believe I’ve seen

This gallant group before.

I’ve seen them play since way back when,

And they’ve always had the grit;

I’ve seen ‘em lose and I’ve seen ‘em win,

But I’ve never seen ‘em quit.

No need for us to tarry here

Deciding upon their fates;

Tis plain as the halo on my head

That they’ve opened Heaven’s gates.”

And when the Twelfth Man heard this,

They let out a mighty yell

That echoed clear to Heaven and shook the gates of Hell.

“And what group is this upon the side,” St. Peter asked his aide,

“That swelled as if to burst with pride

When we our judgment made?”

“Why, sir, that’s the Cadet Corps

That’s known both far and wide

For backing up their fighting team

Whether they won, lost or tied.”

“Well, then,” said St. Peter, “It’s very plain to me

That within the realms of Heaven

They should spend eternity.

And have the Texas Aggie Band

At once commence to play

For their fates too we must decide

Upon this crucial day.”

And the drum major so hearing

Slowly raised his hand

And said, “Boys, let’s play The Spirit

For the last time in Aggieland.”

And the band poured forth the anthem

In notes both bright and clear

And ten thousand Aggie voices

Sang the song they hold so dear.

And when the band had finished,

St. Peter wiped his eyes And said,

“It’s not so hard to see They’re meant for Paradise.”

And the colonel of the Cadet Corps said

As he stiffly took his stand, “It’s just another Corps Trip, boys,

We’ll march in behind the band.”

 – by P.H. DuVal, Jr.’51

Thursday, April 20, 2017 – 4.20

Thursday, April 20, 2017 – 4.20

My apologies. Apparently my computer took off the entire day of 4.20 with technical difficulties. I just came back on online. Probably the Russians. Either the Russians caused all of the technical difficulties or I forgot to post something on HWIT.

Jimmy Buffet – COTA – Austin, Tx 2014 – Photo by me.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017 – Back in the Bathroom Again.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017 – Back in the Bathroom Again.

The Governor of the state of Texas wants to address SB6 – AKA The Bathroom Bill. It is allegedly designed to protect children from transgender people who have to go to the bathroom by creating a different bathroom for somebody.

Personally, I am more concerned about needing protection from the heterosexuals in the bathroom or in the convenience store I happen to be in. I also have concerns about people who are paper certified crazy who can access guns, people running the public schools in general, people on the streets, people driving and talking/texting on the phone and a whole list of other issues that do not involved bodily functions.

Could the governments just leave our bodies and their functions alone? Doesn’t the state and country have enough issues without taking time and money to determine who urinates where?

Tuesday, April 18, 2017 – I Owe! I Owe! To the I-R-S I Owe!

Tuesday, April 18, 2017 – I Owe! I Owe! To the I-R-S I Owe! Do You Have Receipts? And Dwarfs? Dwarves?

If the plural of scarf is scarves, why isn’t the plural of dwarf dwarves? Perhaps it is.

Tax Prep Person to me yesterday: Do you have all of your legal drug receipts?

Me: Yes, Ma’am. I do.  One does not get receipts for your illegal drugs.

Just as the seven dwarfs sang while going to work in the mines (that would be the clean coal mines, with no insurance for black lung.)

I Owe! I Owe!

To the I-R-S – I Owe!

I ain’t got no deductibles so

I Owe! I Owe!

This is the actual letter I mailed to the IRS yesterday with my taxes and my voucher.

SUBECT:    Voucher Amount

To Whom It May Concern:

Enclosed is a check for $XXX. This is all of the money I am able to pay at this time. I shall anxiously await your multiple written communications and 35 or longer minutes on hold when I call to speak to a live person regarding additions to my existing payment plans.

Sincerely Yours,

 

Thursday, April 13, 2017 – Easter Photos from Long Ago.

Thursday, April 13, 2017 – Easter Photos from Long Ago.

Photo number – 1 – Isn’t my sister a cutie pie?

Photo number – 2 – Me! Let’s sit the baby on the hot metal car with the weird looking roof and wind shield and tube thing on the side. Be prepared to catch her if she falls.

Photo number – 3 – Taking rides on the giant Easter Bunny in Texas is something I have repressed. Here I am about to take off for a ride on the giant Easter bunny with a saddle. Very cute for a one two year old.

Photo number – 4 – Here is by sister Dale about to take off on her Easter bunny ride. Hysterical when you are fourteen and your sister posts it on her blog.

Once again. Why is my father standing next to the teenager when the closest person to the baby is my grandfather standing five feet away?

Have a save and blessed Easter.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017 – Finally Something Fun to WHOOP About.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017 – Finally Something Fun to WHOOP About.

HOWDY! The world news is about who is going to bomb whom and the WH Press Secretary continues to Splice history into a continued endless number of “What I meant was…” statements.  I decided to just skip on over to September and Texas Aggie football. I hope we are all still here to watch.

September 3 – @ UCLA – Bears will want revenge.

September 9 – Nicholls State – Do not be afraid of Kyle Field and The 12th Man. Although the crowd size is probably bigger than Thibodaux.

September 16 – LA-Lafayette – Remember Texas alcohol laws.

September 23 – Arkansas @ AT&T Stadium – The Hogs are always scary. But recruiting at Jerry World is fabulous.

September 30 – South Carolina – Uncle Will Muschamp might have found a home.

October 7 – Alabama – Jalen playing in his home state.

October 14 – @ Florida – Never yell for a team from Florida. Bad colors. Bad mascot.

October 28 – Mississippi State – May the team wearing maroon and white win!

November 4 – Auburn – A lovely autumn hair color.

November 11 – New Mexico -Tune up for Toddy and the Rebels.

November 18 – @ Ole Miss- Hotty Toddy, God Awmighty! Would so love to tailgate in The Grove and have my picture made with the William Faulkner statue on campus.

November 25 – @ LSU. So much more fun than tu and the burn orange on Thanksgiving. And much better food.

Texas Aggie Football – 135 more days! WHOOP!

Tuesday, April 11, 2017 – 11:01 PM – Barely, But Still Tuesday

Tuesday, April 11, 2017 – 11:01 PM – Barely, But Still Tuesday

I did not post a Here’s What I’m Thinking today. I started one, but was having difficulty finding something pleasant to write about. Even the weather was storming. So I took a nap.

When I woke up I tried again to post something. That was when I saw that WH Press Secretary Sean Spicer said “…Even Hitler did not use gas.” Sean, wherever you received your credentials and especially those in histories, please see if you or your parents can get their money back. Obviously, it was a waste of money because you are not displaying any learning that took place during that time or at any other part of your learning curve including today.

I took another nap.

While I am waiting for the pink moon, I decided to use the few remaining minutes and post something for Tuesday. I hope the pink moon is better.