Wednesday, June 7, 2017 – The Eve of Comey, Spinners and Twitter
I purchased one of these spinner things for $3.00 the other day.
It is called Stress Gear for use at office, home and school. I am having a gross of them shipped to Washington D.C. Half (do the John Wax math) are labeled as such:
For the Congressional Hearings: For those attending former FBI Director, James Comey’s hearing(s) with this note:
Thank you, Mr. Comey. Stay calm and carry on regardless. He gets a red, white and blue one.
The remainder is to be sent to The White House. Jared is to receive the red one (not pictured).
The Glow in the Dark one, as I have, is to be delivered to President Twitter with the following note:
This new secret communication device is better for firing off senseless statements of 140 characters in the middle of the night – or early morning depending on your perspective or what time it is in Russia.
This orange (like your hair) glow in the dark one sends a signal to the Universe as it spins in your little hands giving all of the other aliens and non people like Democrats access to The WH Spin. Be sure Sean Spicer and Kellyanne Conman get a spinner. This special model is able to distinguish between fake and real news and sends only the real news and not altered facts. The others can be distributed at random.
The reverse of the package reads:
“Helps focus; Relieves boredom, anxiety and stress and Great for ADHD, ADD, and Autism.” All of this is untrue and unsubstantiated as most of your thoughts and Tweets are. And since you exhibit tendencies of all these serious conditions, I thought this specially designed communication device would be something you would enjoy and could use.
Please use this during former FBI Comey’s testimony tomorrow instead of Twitter. Just keep spinning.
Oh yes. Your entire WH staff can take their spinner with them when they leave – one way or another on their way to egret.