Friday, September 28, 2018 – The Snark Arrives


Friday, September 28, 2018 – The Snark Arrives

Listening to Fleetwood Mac’s – Tusk (love the drums) and making my grocery list – pork sausage; bacon, ham, chitlins, ham hocks, pig’s ears; pig’s feet. I am making breakfast brunch for the 11:00 games. Note to invited guests, I am kidding about the pig’s ears and feet. Let’s see who is on TV at that time.

On the SEC Network at 11:00 we have the # 1 Alabama Crimson Tide vs Louisiana. I think that means the Rajun Cajuns, but it could refer to the entire state of Louisiana. Oh well, they will still lose to Bama.

In a clash of orange (add orange juice to grocery) with their ugly orange anthropomorphic mascots we have Syracuse and Clemson on ABC.

ON ESPN 2 we find WVU couch burning Hillbillies and Texas Tech, Masked and Guns Up (you need to change to your mascot) Red Raiders. You can heat the thrown tortillas on WVU’s burning sofas when they win.

At 2:30 on ABC we have the Baylor Bears versus the Oklahoma Sooners. Let us pray.

Opposite the Bears and Sooners we find THE University of Texas versus K-State on FS1. Please Horns, do not blow this and look ahead to the following weekend!

On ESPN at 5:00 it is the Gators (are the Gators?) of Florida versus the Mississippi State Bulldogs. You know I never yell for a team from Florida, but will always yell for maroon and white with dogs as mascots.

On the Notre Dame network, NBC, at 6:30 we find Stanford and Notre Dame. Come on Cardinal (You know the mascot is a color or tree or a colored tree?) but come on smarty pants. Surely you can come up with some fancy electronic gadget or doodad to block out Touchdown Jesus. After all, the mosaic is on the library.

The Penn State Nittany Lions and the Ohio State seeds or fruits or whatever a Buckeye is, kick off at 6:30 on ABC. Is that what that stupid patch is on Ohio State’s helmets? Seeds? What is Ohio State going to do when no one can read cursive any more?

I will, of course, will be watching Ole Miss and LSU at 8:00 on ESPN with great, yet bittersweet memories. I will looking for you, Cousin Penny. Read yesterday’s post.

That’s it. Ready to go to grocery store. Wait. Seems as though I forgot one of my favorite teams. Well WHOOP! Texas A&M versus Arkansas plays at 11:00 am on ESPN in the neutral site of Dallas. Note to Razorbacks, there are no neutral sites when it comes to Aggies. We are everywhere.

I am sure the Razorbacks will bring their mascot. I believe the hog’s is Tusk. Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away? Just say that you want me. That’s right, Tusk, the Aggies want you!

Don’t forget champagne for mimosas and BTHO ARKANSAS!

Why don’t you ask him if he’s going to stay?
Why don’t you ask him if he’s going away?
Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?
Why don’t you tell me who’s on the phone?

Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him who’s the latest on his throne?
Don’t say…

Why don’t you ask him what’s going on?
Why don’t you ask him who’s the latest on his throne?
Don’t say that you love me!
Just tell me that you want me!

Tusk!
Just say that you want me
Just tell me that you

Tusk!
Tusk!
Tusk!

2 responses to “Friday, September 28, 2018 – The Snark Arrives

  1. From a loyal Penn State fan and native of State College this is what I know of (with a scowl on my face) of “THE” Ohio State Buckeyes. 🤬

    1. A Buckeye is a tree native to Ohio. It produces a nut called a Horse Chestnut. Now aren’t you thrilled to death that you know this useless piece of information. 😁

    2. A buckeye is also a piece of candy that looks like a Horse Chestnut. I believe it’s a ball of peanut butter that’s covered with chocolate.

    3. The dumb ass stickers on the helmets of the football players are leaves from the Buckeye tree. To me, a person that loathes and despises Ohio State football as much as the next dedicated Penn State fan thinks they look like a certain marijuana leaf. Don’t believe me…look it up. 😁

    Hope ya’ll’s favorite team wins on Saturday! 👍

    Like

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