Monthly Archives: July 2017

Tuesday, July 11, 2017 – My Amazon Prime Order

Tuesday, July 11, 2017 – My Amazon Prime Order

Today is the day one can obtain amazing offers and discounts on all types of items from Amazon Prime.

Can We, the People, order a new POTUS and a new First Family?

How is it working out for you so far? Photo by me in Crockett Texas

 

 

July 10, 2017 – Only Seven More Mondays. Mea Culpa

July 10, 2017 – Only Seven More Mondays. Mea Culpa.

Only seven more Mondays until we begin ‘My Monday After College Football Awards.” Today is the unofficial start of college football season beginning with Conference Media Days.

My conference tis of thee and that means the SEC for me. I claim rights on that T-shirt slogan.

However, it is all talk and no action at this time. Therefore the only award today goes to me. I am awarding myself the “Is My Face Crimson” Award.

Old School Version: mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa. through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault;

Modern Version: Sorry. My bad.

I deeply and sincerely apologize to the four Alabama fans who read HWIT and to everybody else whose traditional greeting is “Roll Tide.”

I will never misspell Coach Nick Saban’s name again; I will never spell it Sabin, like the scientist, and I will write Saban spelled correctly the end zone 100 times. I will remember to spell his name correctly because his name has two A’s in it, like the beginning and the end of Alabama. There are four As in Alabama – the same number of National Championships won by Nick Saban to date.

As I mentioned NCAA Football Media days are taking place this month. The SEC teams are in Hoover, Alabama to speak with the media. It begins today and ends Thurs. The schedule looks pretty much like this:

LSU, Florida, Alabama, Auburn and everybody else. Texas A&M will be sharing Wednesday with Alabama and Saban with two A’s. This is allegedly to reduce the temperature in Coach Sumlin’s seat, which even Paul Finebaum says is “the hottest seat in football.” You cannot let this season get away!

Here’s what I’m thinking. Coach Sumlin must upset at least one of those teams to even turn down the temperature a few degrees. Can we all agree that the team the Aggies should upset should be FLORIDA?

Friday, July 7, 2017 – Snarky Friday – 7.7.17 – Seven More Saturdays Until Kick Off

Seven. Seven. Seventeen. Seven more Saturdays until we scream! WHOOP!

Why is it so hot in Texas in July? It is because it was July when God kicked the Devil out of Heaven. God gave him the choice between Texas in July or Hell. The Devil chose Hell because it is cooler than Texas in July.

But the July temperatures are not the only thing in Texas burning hotter than the hinges on the Gates of Hell. There is an office near Wellborn and George Bush Drive in College Station that also has some very hot hinges. The name on the door – Kevin Sumlin.

Yes, Indeedee do, the hottest coach’s seat in the NCAA D-1 football is right here in College Station. Three years of 5-0 starts squandered. The motivational poster in his office reads WIN NOW! I think it was placed there by the AD and the HR people from Texas A&M. Might have been John Sharp. I believe this is called “The handwriting on the wall.”

It must really be hot because the SEC Media Days paired the Texas A&M with the Alabama to take some of the heat away from Sumlin. Sabin and Sumlin – hot, but for different reasons.

Speaking of hot seats – or at least warm – we have THE University of Texas coach Tom Herman featured on the football bible of Texas – Dave Campbell’s Texas Football.

I cannot say for certain, but here’s what I’m thinking. My friends who attended and support THE University are going to want more than Coach Herman’s picture on the cover of a magazine. All of that football gibberish better transfer to the scoreboard with W’s on it every Saturday.

Don’t forget – UT You Pee! ( I have so been saving to saythat.)

Hook ‘Em Hippies!

 

Seven more Saturdays until college football kickoff. Counting the days.

BTHO UCLA

Thursday, July 6, 2017 – Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer and G-20

Thursday, July 6, 2017 – Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer and G-20

Here’s What I’m Thinking. Get your history hat on.

The POTUS is out of the country. Our political prayer for the day is “please do not let him tweet and start a war.”

He is headed to the G-20 Summit that kicks off tomorrow in Hamburg, Germany. The Chair of the Conference is Head of State of Germany, Angela Merkel. It is a meeting to discuss world financial issues and has been going on since 1999 (Google it).

I am feeling like The Hippie Dippy Weatherman (George Carlin) “A line of thunderstorms is headed toward Japan, but so is a line of North Korean missiles, so I would not sweat the thunderstorms.” Is the emoji for this a mushroom shaped cloud over Alaska or the Secretary of Education telling children to “just get under their desks and put your hands over your heads?”

The POTUS visited Poland on his way to Germany. When That Man tweets at 3:00 AM that “His Presidency received the largest crowds ever” please remember your history.

  1. Most of those crowds were bused in. They are somewhat like Extras in a crowd scene in a movie. If one knew their history, he or she would know this.
  2. Had he or his staff bothered to check a history book he would see that since September 1, 1939, Poland has taken a rough ride in history. Actually, it goes way back further, but we’ll start with the September first date. First it was those Nazis tanks overpowering a military that was riding horses waving sabers.Then it was the Soviets and that Iron Curtain. So when he tweets “I am the BEST,” remember previous Presidents were not allowed to visit. Something about that Soviet Union travel ban during a period known as The Cold War. Ask your buddy VP. Not the Vice President.
  3. The POTUS is also meeting with the leader of Russia Vladimir Putin. I wonder if Vlad will serve Moscow Mules in a symbolic gesture of what the POTUS means to him.

As the 20 Heads of State gather in Germany, let us end with a history joke.

The Heads of State of Germany, The United States and Russia meet in a bar. The three are to discuss world issues and strategies to achieve them. As the evening progresses and drinking continues, the German head of state remains silent. The heads of state from the United States and Russia outline elaborate strategies. Finally, German leader is asked for input. She looks at the Russian and says, “Next time we will come in the summer.”

Monday, July 3, 2017 – My Fourth of July Movie

Monday, July 3, 2017 – My Fourth of July Movie

 

Saturday, July 1, 2017 – The Case of the Missing Hot Tub

Saturday, July 1, 2017 – The Case of the Missing Hot Tub

Nancy Drew here! It was a clear and pleasant morning as I traveled in my roadster with the top down. The morning Texas sun had only reached temperatures of a balmy 94 degrees. Not bad for July in Texas, but it was only the first of July.

I was traveling going south along Highway 105 near Plantersville. Suddenly, as I came around the turn I saw it! I thought immediately – who in the hell leaves hot tub on the side of the highway? Even in Montgomery County, this is weird.

Therefore, I am collecting clues. If you know how this got here, please post it. If you notice your hot tub is missing from your back yard, it might be on the side of the road.