Tag Archives: Alabama

Monday, September 18, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Three

Posted on September 18, 2023 | 1 comment

Monday, September 18, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Three

It was a most interesting weekend. Some teams played cupcake teams and the cupcakes got their  next year’s athletic budgets. Some teams that were supposed to be cupcakes turned up to be real teams. Some teams began conference play while others still had a few warm up games.

Let’s start with the elephant in the room. To Alabama, you receive The Sink Hole Award. I thought of another four letter word that begins with “S” and also has the letter “I” in it, but I decided to keep it clean. This award is followed by The Rumors Abounding Award – Nick Saban is retiring and Deion Sanders will be the next coach of the TIDE. Not making that up. Plus Manning rumors of transfer. Arch Manning is not coming to Alabama. At least not yet. Alabama  17 and South Florida 3.

The Umbrella Awards go to Alabama, Baylor and Texas A&M for the rain delays. While the rains did bring the Tide to roll, ugly as it was, Baylor thought it was a baptism, so they returned to defeat Long Island 30 to 7. And there was no impact from the rains on the Aggies because the start of the game was delayed. Other than other than a few quarters added to the BSSJ for the delays.

Blow Out Awards go to OU, Tortilla Tech and Texas A&M for their victories of OU 66 – Tulsa 17, Tech 41 Tarleton State 3, and Texas A&M 47 and ULAMO 3.

To U of H coach Dana, I award The CCR Award because I See a Bad Moon Rising. University of Houston 13 –  TCU 36.

Georgia? Please step forward and receive your Poopy Undies Award and The Alarm Clock Award for waking up in the second half  of the game. Bulldogs 24 South Carolina Gamecocks 14.

LSU? Your award this week is the Bayou Rising Award by defeatingMississippi State 41 to 14. Because the Big Solid Swear Jar already had $2.00 by half time, I did not watch the second half.

Tennessee may pick up their Pepto Bismal trophy for being upset by Florida. Rocky Flopped on this one! Vols 15-Florida 29.

The award for Best Crossover Sports goes to: A tie between Tennessee and Florida and Colorado and Colorado State. Both teams displayed fighting skills before and after the games.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas and Wyoming. I award the Horns the Well-Played Award. Wyoming Cowboys offered you a little bit of competition – 31 to 10. Probably the most competition you will receive in the Big 12 if you can get past OU!

The Best Game of the Week Award goes to Colorado and Colorado State – Throwing shade a few days before, a fight before kick-off, tying the game on the last play of regulation, double OT with a Colorado win 43 to 35- what a great game! I wish I did not sleep through it.! I think the Buffaloes are real.

The Best Play of the Weekend goes to Missouri for a 61 yard field walk off goal to defeat Kansas State 30 to 27.

The Best Kick in Football goes to: Watch closely. This game is between two small high school in Waco. The kick, with no goal post netting, goes through the uprights and into the window of a passing car.

https://www.si.com/high-school/2023/09/16/extra-point-kick-sailing-into-open-window-passing-car-best-thing-video

Stay safe. Stay strong and be kind to people.

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Friday, September 15, 2023 – Snark on Medians and Snarky Friday Football

Posted on September 15, 2023 | 2 comments

Friday, September 15, 2023 – Snark on Medians and Snarky Friday Football

Let us begin and snark out on The Median that Stole Christmas. Somewhere, some transportation medium minds decided to install medians with turn lanes on all of the major roads that connect and intersect in Bryan and College Station.

This means I have to go two blocks beyond my dentist office, turn left, go through two parking lots, cross a street, go through another parking lot and then go down a back alley to get to my dentist’s office. This is all because the left turn that was once right in front of the dentist office is now an uncrossable median.

But wait! Because there are now medians all along Texas Avenue connecting College Station to Bryan, it means the 93rd year old tradition of a BCS Christmas parade will not happen in 2023. The floats and other parade stuff (marching bands, drill teams, horses, etc.) CANNOT maneuver the medians. Bah Humbug!

But floating on to my football games for week three. I am so confused. Who’s on First? I have not heard of these teams. It’s another Cupcake Weekend.

The 11:00 am hour begins with Long Island in Waco playing Baylor on Big12. I thought long island was a type of alcoholic tea. But given the way Baylor is playing, they might not be able to beat their way out of a tea bag.

Florida State plays Boston College at 11:00 on ABC. I so enjoy teams with the same colored uniforms. This should be a blow out unless there is a Flutie resurgence.

There is an 11:00 game that might be worth watching. On ESPN LSU meets Mississippi State in Starkville. Come on Big Solid Awards! Sorry, CSE, I have to go with Bulldogs and maroon and white.

Moving through the day, at 2:30 on CBS Georgia continues to sleep walk against South Carolina. And Alabama tries to regroup from last week and plays the women’s hockey team from Our Lady of the Swamp Academy. Actually, the TIDE plays South Florida. Bama? Do not make me give you a Grocery Award for the number of sacks this week.

Oklahoma plays Tulsa at 2:30 on ESPN2. Boomer Sooner Cupcake? Who knows.

My game at 9:00 will be a Rocky Mountain Showdown between Colorado State and Colorado Deion. Shedeur not want to piss off Colorado. Oops, too late. One more game and the Buffaloes might be real.

The evening games begin with Tarleton State (aka Little Aggies) against Tortilla Tech in Lubbock at 6:00 on some network I do not get. I would love to have the income from the number of Wrangler wearing and Roper stompers that will be at this game. Lots of cowboys and cowgirls from both sides. This game will fund Tarleton’s entire athletic budget. FYI – Tarleton is a really cool little school. It has a secret organization named Purple Poo! How cool is that?

Speaking of purple poo, TCU and the U of Houston might be fun to watch at 7:00 on Fox. Coaches’ seats are warming up for both sides. Dana? Rice? You lost to Rice?

Speaking of cowboys the University of Wyoming visits Austin and THE UNIVERSITY of Texas. My prediction – TU will win big against a much inferior team. Then they will scream and hoot and holler again about how good they are. DA will post several memes on FB to irritate me but will make me laugh. In spite of a large victory margin, there will be no Manning the ship this week.

And now, the Game of the Week. Texas A&M University versus the University of Louisiana at Monroe – ULAMO! This game is at 3:00 on the SECN.

A little about the opponent. It was founded in 1931 as “the state’s most attractive bayou school.” Pretty much lost me at bayou. It was called Ouachita Parish Junior College until three years later when the legislature renamed it the University of North Center of Louisiana State University. While I am not certain but this could have been done because no one could pronounce Ouachita and it sounds like a banana.

In 1939 it was renamed Northeast Junior College to LSU. It pretty much remained that way until 1950 when it became a four year college named Northeast Louisiana State College. In 1969 it was renamed Northeast Louisiana University. And finally in 1999 it was renamed the University of Louisiana at Monroe or ULAMO. Actually I just snarked the ULAMO label.

Prominent alumni are the country-western singer, Tim McGraw and the Alabama women’s basketball coach, Kristy Curry – a really good coach! And also one of those Duck Dynasty fellows. I do not know which one because they all look alike. Plus, I was shocked that one of them is a college graduate.

The school’s mascot is Ace the Warhawk. As you can see it is another anthropomorphic character or a person in a bird outfit.

An interesting factoid about ULM is that since 1979 the schools has won 28 National Collegiate Water Skiing Championships. Is this like equestrian sports where you must bring your own horse. Do you have to bring your own boat?

This is school that has an enrollment of 6929 undergraduates. HWIT, there are probably that many undergrads in all of the A&M athletics programs combined. And that includes the quidditch team and intramurals.

Therefore, HWIT – Jimbo/Bobby! I want to see everybody play and everybody score. I want a special teams’ score and a defensive score. I want lots of offensive scores! I want the score with two minutes remaining to be so large over ULAMO, that a 75 year old woman, with a hip replacement could run a play. Remember Appalachian State!. If this is not a supreme blow out, then the Big Solid Swear Jar will go to the BUYOUT!

And don’t forget you got more war fowls flying in next week.

BTHO ULAMO!

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Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 11, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

But first, let us remember where you were on this day in 2001!  Long ago, yet yesterday and today. RIP those who sacrificed. You are not forgotten.

And now Week Two of my weekly awards …

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts; mutilated monkey feet, little dirty birdy feet…

And that is how it was, Sports fans! Here’s What I’m Thinking.

What a crappy college football weekend!. Everybody gets a Poopy Undies Award! Pick those up at Port-a-Potties zero through 10 on the west side of the building on your way out.

Nevertheless, will my award teams please come forward for your awards?

LSU? Step back, you are not getting an award for winning 72 to10. But I’m pretty sure you lost the half-time to the Grambling Band.

To THE UNIVERSITY of Texas, I award a Great Win, BUT Trophy. Yes, you beat a really crappy Alabama team 34 to 24 for two wins in a row. But do not rest on your laurels. You still have the Big 12 season but given the playing of the other teams from Texas this weekend, you could end up playing Kansas for the Championship. So I also award the Longhorns, the I’ll Check Back in October Award. To Alabama, I award The Elephant Never Forgets Trophy. It comes with a listing of available portal quarterbacks.

To Baylor, I award the God Heard What You Said in the Final Minutes. He also heard when we all screamed PASS INTERFERENCE on the so-called last play. Utah 20 Baylor 13

To the Rice University Owls who defeated their cross gang rivals the University of Houston 43 to 41 in double OT, I award The Hooters Award. What a difference a Daniels makes? With Covid, redshirts, medical redshirts, some of these players will be assistant professors before they finally use up their eligibility. Seriously, by the time I had 8 years of college I had half of a PhD.

To the Prime Time Wonder Boys of Colorado, I award the I’m Still Not Convinced Award.  Colorado 36 Nebraska 14

To Mississippi State, I award not one, but two Big Solid Silver Awards to the team and to the young man who intercepted two passes. Sidebar: A few have asked about Big Solid. Big Solid (Larry) played linebacker for Mississippi State. His claim to fame (among many) was intercepting a pass from Joe Namath and running it back for a touchdown. Big Solid and his lovely Sweet Potato Queen wife, Janne, always read HWIT football and he always loved when he was mentioned. Big Solid passed away this spring so I decided to honor him with as many mentions as I can. A Big Solid Award goes to a linebacker who intercepts and scores. A Big Solid Silver goes to an interception by a linebacker from Mississippi State. And a Big Solid Gold will go to a Mississippi State linebacker who intercepts and scores a touchdown. I hope I got that right, Janne. Oh yes, Mississippi State 31 Arizona 24 in OT.

Even though I never met Big Solid I believe we shared common adjectives for describing plays, teams, tackles, passes, coaches, announcers, commercials for our respective teams and others. Therefore this year I have instituted The Big Solid Swear Jar. I thought about making various coins for various words, but just said, “F-that”, everything gets a quarter. Last week, the BSSJ had $1.00. This week I just threw in two roll of quarters at the end of the TU/Tide game. That is $20 or 80 quarters.

However, most of those coins were put (thrown) in the jar during the Texas A&M/Miami game. Miami 48 Texas A&M 33. The Aggies get the Moon over Miami Award for getting their asses whipped. To Jimbo and Bobby I award The Climate Change Award because your seats are getting warmer! To the Fighting Aggie Team, READY! AIM! FIRE! RELOAD! WHOOP! Stay Calm and Gig ‘Em!

Pray for rain. Pray for peace.

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Friday, September 8, 2023 –  Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Posted on September 8, 2023 | 4 comments

Friday, September 8, 2023 –  Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Sorry for the delay in posting today’s Here’s What I’m Thinking. I was day drinking and celebrating the life of Jimmy Buffett. Consider it a warm up exercise for tomorrow.

The second week begins with more bit more excitement. The morning begins with several “Saturday Errand Games.” Go run the usual Saturday morning errands because few of these games offer much in the way of competition.

Georgia and Ball State play at 11:00 on SECN. Another cupcake game for Georgia. What if all of Georgia’s games are cupcakes? Is UGA good enough for a threepeat?

On ESPN the Bears from Baylor try to resurrect game and perhaps season when they welcome My Cousin Vinny’s Two Utes from Utah at 11:00. Sadly, this could be just downright ugly in Waco and on TV too.

If neither one of those games interest you, the game on Fox at 11:00 just might. We have the Nebraska Cornhuskers and the Colorado Buffalos. I do love a big hat in the shape of a giant yellow corn cob. We get to see if Prime Time is real or was TCU just a fluke and an adrenaline rush.

A game of mild interest is Arizona and Mississippi State on SECN at 6:30. Hail State! Have Big Solid Swear Jar ready.

A most interesting game might be between Ole Miss and Tulane on ESPN2 at 2:30. I would love to see Weird Giffen’s face if Tulane wins. But Hoddy Toddy, Cutbirth Faulkner, Ole Miss!

But THE game of the afternoon is the 2:30 game on ESPN between Texas A&M at the University of Miami. Let’s get acquainted with the opposition.

First of all Miami University is not the same as the University of Miami. One is in Ohio and the other is in Coral Cables, Florida. This is one of which I speak and who the Aggies play.

The University of Miami was founded in 1925. In 1926 a hurricane destroyed most of what little was built. The classes were moved into The Anastasia Building and was used for temporary classes. For a period of time UM was called The Cardboard College.

The “U” as it is known is a private university known for exceedingly difficult entry as an undergrad (27 of 100 admitted) and as a powerhouse for research for graduates (a doctoral delight.). The game will be played in the Hard Rock Stadium which is 21 miles from Coral Cables. HWIT, if the U is so damn smart why is the stadium 30 minutes away? Also, it is a small stadium with capacity at only 69,000. That is numerous Friday night tailgate parties and Midnight Yell in College Station.

Also the Hurricanes are offering a BOGO to try to fill the stadium. Buy a ticket to the UMiami game and get a free ticket to the Georgia Tech game.

The team name is the “Hurricanes” and the team mascot is an anthropomorphic character named Sebastian the Ibis. Yeah, I thought it was a duck also.

An ibis is a water wading bird. Folklore maintains that the Ibis, a symbol of knowledge found in the Everglades and Egypt, is the last sign of wildlife to take shelter before a hurricane and the first to reappear after the storm.

This game is definitely the litmus test for both universities. So glad I have practiced day drinking.

But THE GAME is at 6:00 on ESPN when The Alabama Crimson Tide hosts THE University of Texas Longhorns in Tuscaloosa. Given that Guest Picker for Game Day from Tuscaloosa is Joe Namath, I have already deposited a dollar in the Big Solid Swear Jar before the start of the game.

I understand Alabama is repaying the band favor and having the Longhorn band sit in Sections 101 through 102 in the neighboring county.

HWIT,  One in a row, TU, does not make you a member of the SEC. I hope there will be payback for the yells from last year when the Horns yelled something about a duck and you and Saban during a TV interview. Perhaps they were thinking of the insurance commercial. I am thinking similar sounding  adjectives for THE University.  ROLL TIDE!  I don’t care if you are on the one yard line with one second left in the game and a 49 point lead. Run the score up Bevo’s butt!

BTHO UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI!

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Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 4, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

What wonderful weekend for college football lovers. So many games. So many teams. So much money. Here are the first Monday awards for this season.

The Award for the Most Frequently Heard Word during the football games this weekend… It is a tie between “transfer” and “portal.”

Our first team award today is the Convincing Award. Will all of the teams that scored 40 points or more in a convincing win against their cupcake team, please pick up your trophy at the desk?

Whatsamatta U aka THE University of Texas may pick their Certificate of Participation off the printer in the next room. Horns? You scored 37 points and YOU PLAYED RICE! Vanderbilt scored more points! This was supposed to be a cupcake game, even though Rice certainly does not need the money.

However, I do award the Needs Improvement Award to THE University of Texas. Note: A lot of improvement before heading to Tuscaloosa and addressing the elephant in the room.

Also receiving a Need Improvement Certificate is Baylor. Really? Texas State Bobcats in Waco? Baylor may need more improvement that TU. Is that stadium paid for yet?

The Award for I Told You So goes to Colorado and Coach Prime. That was most fun to watch. While the game was indeed an offensive spectacular, it remains to be seen if Deion’s method of releasing all previous 80 players and selecting through the portal works.

I award TCU with the Chad and Jeremy Award for That was Yesterday and Yesterday’s Gone. Just because you participated in last’s year’s National Championship Game does not mean it should be mentioned as your laurels – especially given the way you played. Are you paying attention, future TCU announcers?

All of the teams in The Cupcake Games may pick up their entire 2024 Athletic Budget checks at the Exit Gate marked $$$. New Mexico received 1.6 million from Texas A&M. These include, but are not limited to UMass, MTST, UNM, Ark State. SE Louisiana, Mercer and Texas State. The Men’s and Women’s LaCross teams thank you.

The Best Uniform Award goes the University of Houston for their throw back Houston Oilers, Love Ya, Blue uniforms.

The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Wyoming. The yellow is ok, but it is the bovine doo doo brown that is the issue. It should be against NCAA regulations for a school to have brown as a color. Especially if the numbers are in Saloon Font. However ugly the uniforms were , they did look nice in the second OT and beating Tortilla Tech.

And last…Certainly not to be blasé, but LSU? What the Hell happened last night? At times you looked like Wyoming’s bovine doo doo brown! I would never cheer for Florida State. I know the rules – Never cheer for a team from Florida! Therefore, LSU receives the Get It Together Award.

Big Solid Swear Jar – Week One – $1.75 – All LSU fault!

Enjoy Labor Day. Pray for rain.

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Friday, September 1, 2023 – The Official Season of Snarky Friday Kicks-Off

Posted on September 1, 2023 | 1 comment

Friday, September 1, 2023 – The Official Season of Snarky Friday Kicks-Off

Tomorrow is the kick-off for NCAA Division I Football season. I know there were games yesterday, but I’m saving my Florida Alligator and Utah Two Utes for later. But dang, the two UTES looked good!

Obviously I am excited to see Texas A&M in our Redemption Year. The Texas Aggies play the New Mexico Lobos in Kyle Field at 6:00 on ESPN.

            What? What’s a lobo? It’s a wolf. Where wolf? There wolf? What? There wolf! There Castle.

Game time temperatures will hover around 102 degrees, but feels like you are stuck on the sun. It was brutal back in the day and that was just sun in your face and reasonable September temperatures of 95 degrees and 1,000,000 plus fewer sweat-sharing bodies standing and swaying during War Hymn.

Tailgaters will be copping their spots today and tomorrow. No need for stoves. Just set those hot dogs in an aluminum pan and place on the sidewalk in the sun for sizzling.

It is important to hydrate. Start hydrating the night before! We Aggies do. It is called Midnight Yell Practice. Continue to hydrate  during the day. We do. We drink watered down, but ice cold Coors Beer from our new beer vendor. Stay hydrated during the game and drink our other new sponsor, Modelo. Seriously, it will be brutal out there.

But I am ready to Beat the Hell Out of New Mexico! I got my damnit doll. I got my – new this year -Big Solid Swearing Jar, and my Remember Appalachian State t-shirt rag!

But before the Aggies there are those 11:00 AM Bloody Mary Morning games.

At 11:00 Virginia is at UT (Not YOU Texas!) in Nashville on ABC. The Vols also get Game Day. Watch for ugly, orange uniforms and checkerboard end zones. Rocky Top might just be a top this year.

Also at 11:00 there is Ball State and Kentucky on the SEC Network.

OU plays Arkansas State on ESPN @ 11:00. And Baylor plays Texas State in their cupcake games.

At 2:30 UMass plays Auburn on ESPN. Wait? The same UMASS that just won it’s first opening football game since the 1970’s and the game that the drone flew over? That UMASS? Who scheduled that game? Was the drone disguised as a War Eagle?

At 3:30 SE Louisiana and Mississippi State on SECN. Hail State!

At 6:30 MTSU plays Alabama on the SECN. MTSU? Who is YOU? Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders, Oh come on! Is this a Middle School or Pop Warner team? Who did your schedule? Oh wait, I see it now. This week the before the game with Texas University. Brilliant Saban.

Georgia is not on my mind and neither is it on TV unless you stream. I am unable to stream and HULU at the same time.

Elsewhere…

We have Colorado and TCU at 11:00 on Fox. Now this could be fun. See what Deon brings. TCU? Please try not to embarrass the state of Texas this year in any championships.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas plays the Rice Owls at 2:30 on Fox. I loved going to the Rice/Texas games in the Old Rice Stadium. I hope the MOB (Marching Owl Band) plays at half-time.

If you are not aware this year’s slogan for THE UNIVERSITY is “Embrace the Hate” because the school seems to think all teams loved to hate Texas. I suppose it is somewhat better than Guns Up by Tortilla Tech who plays Wyoming at 6:30 on CBS.

Also at 6:30 on FS 1 we have the University of Houston in their Big 12 debut playing UTSA. This could be a good game. Roadrunners chasing a cougar.

West Virginia and Penn State play at 6:30 on NBC. Definitely one of them will be an Ugly Uniform winner on Monday.

Sam Houston plays BYU at 9:30. The good news is that Sammy Bearkat gets to play with the Big Boys! The bad news is that the game is in Provo, Utah. I hope I make it to half-time.

Don’t forget Sunday night when LSU plays Florida State on ABC.

I hope your team wins unless you went to New Mexico.

BTHO New Mexico!

And to my other alma mater – Stephen F. Austin State University.

Pray for rain. Pray for Maui.

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Monday August 14, 2023 – Johnny Manziel

Posted on August 14, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday August 14, 2023 – Johnny Manziel

Over the weekend I watched the Netflix documentary on Johnny Manziel. Here’s what I’m thinking…

Warning – Florida will probably ban it. It does have the F word stated quite frequently.

It was 112 minutes of the rise and fall of Johnny Manziel. I was left wanting 112 more minutes and maybe 112 more after that. A majority of the documentary focused on his amazing talent from Kerrville Tivy High School to Texas A&M. To see those memories was indeed thrilling. He was unbelievable. I actually remember where I was when I said (rather screamed), “Oh my God! We’re going to beat Alabama!”

There were many people interviewed. I was reminded of Kris Kristofferson’s song Who’s to Bless and Who’s to Blame? There were many enablers who were to blame and an equal number to bless. And some of the individuals resided in both camps.

I think one is going to see Manziel as they want to see him. The special raw talent who threw it all away. The troubled individual who to quote Brando “Could have been a contender.” There will be many points of view.

There were many minutes of Kliff Kingsbury interviews. I had forgotten he was OC. The only Head Coach Kevin Sumlin words were a few seconds replayed of a press interview. To me it seems their attitude was “As long as you can play football and perform…” Manziel even said, “I got the fourth string QB to do my drug testing.”  Would that be Conner McQueen?

There were no Aggie team mates interviewed. Kevin Sumlin was not interviewed. The fourth-string quarterback was not interviewed.

Most of the minutes were spent on the rise and success. Less time was spent after he was drafted by Cleveland. This appears to be where the unstoppable decline began. Maybe there is another 112 minutes of story here.

I was left with many questions. It did not seem to offer any “lessons learned.” It did not seem to focus on mental health issues. Here was a 20 year old kid who was suddenly thrust into glamour, fame and friends of questionable influence. How was all of this allowed to happen? Why was he allowed to continued such behaviors? To me the parental attitude (and they were interviewed – kinda) was after the facts and in hindsight. Not a psychologist, but I think there was more parental influence than was portrayed.

The documentary does indeed portray a very complex and talented, but troubled individual. I think you should watch and determine for yourself.

As he says, “I am Johnny Fucking Football.”

To me he demonstrated no remorse, along with an attitude of “What a ride! Yes, I’d do it all again if the opportunity arose.”

But…

We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we…

And we beat Alabama!

Pray for rain! Pray for Maui!

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Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 8, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Today the Week Ten Awards Show consists of songs dedicated to each team.

The only big award today is The Ugly Uniform Award, and it goes to TCU. Those uniforms look like SMU, Ole Miss and Cincinnati uniforms were washed together in magic washing powders and all the colors mixed together. Was it supposed to be mourning garb for Patterson’s leaving?

Today everyone receives a song to make their playlist. I might have changed a few lyrics.

For the upsets, each of these teams receive Patsy Cline’s version of

Faded Love

Wake Forest 55 – UNC 58

Mississippi State 28 Arkansas 31

But onward thru the fog…

Baylor 28 and TCU 30

Baylor song – U2 – Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

TCU song – Elton John – Good bye Yellow Brick Road

Liberty 14 and Ole Miss 27  

Liberty – if you only play for what you need, you needed more.

Liberty Song – To Liberty and Coach Hugh Freeze, just Let It Go since you were Frozen.

Ole Miss – Popcorn Dance by Hot Butter. It’s like an ancient episode of Think You Can Dance. I think this could be the new Ole Miss song.

Purdue 40 and Michigan State 29

Purdue song – Lionel Richie – Once Twice, Three Times an Upset

Michigan State song – The Beatles – Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Texas 7 at Iowa State 30

Iowa State song – Tornado by Little Big Town

Texas song – The Eagles – Desperado

Alabama 20 at LSU 14  

Alabama song – Jack Scott – What In The World’s Come Over You?

LSU song – Police – Every breath you take; every move you make I’ll be watching you. Nothing can make a successful season for LSU more than an upset.

Texas A&M 20 and Auburn

A&M wins the Louise and George Jefferson Award  

Aggie song – cause ‘we moving on up in the West Side – we finally got a piece of the pie!

Additional songs include Scoop there is it by Tag Team and We Put a Nix on You by Creedence Clearwater Revival for the Aggie Defense.

Auburn song – The Happenings – See You in September – Bye-bye, so long, farewell; Bye-bye, so long; See you, in the Iron Bowl; see you, when the season’s through.

BTHO Ole Miss!The Aggies are coming to Oxford with popcorn and ready to kick butt, and we are all out of popcorn! And we ain’t dancing to no popcorn dance either. WHOOP!

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Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 20, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, September 20, 2021 – My Monday after Saturday College Football Awards

Our first award this week is the Welcome to Aggieland Award. It goes to the numerous newcomers of the Brazos Valley who posted their fears on the Neighborhood Watch app when “Four 4 F 15 fighter jets, armed with missiles, just flew over. What is happening?” And a special award to those who replied, “You must be new. It is the Aggie flyover. It’s Aggie football weekend.” And especially to the Air Force brat who posted, “the jets are not armed with missiles. The bay doors are open.”

Note to the newcomers. That was the flyover for the New Mexico game. On October 9, the entire Texas Air National Guard is flying over Kyle Field, along with a blimp, three helicopters and a flying saucer when the Tide rolls in.

Speaking of The Tide, you need some Tide because you win Poopy Undies. You did avoid Swamp Fever, but it was too close for comfort. Florida Gators receive the Worst Execution of a Two Point Conversion Award. Alabama 31 and Florida 29.

Also receiving a Poopy Undies Award are the Sooners of Oklahoma. Obviously, Nebraska took the celebration of the 50 Year anniversary of the “Game of the Century” from 1971 a bit more seriously that the Sooners. Close, but no Cornhusker Cigar. Bama 26 and Nebraska 16. Note to OU: Your debut games for the SEC are not looking too good.

There were many blowouts. Here are a few.

TAMU 34 and New Mexico 0. Plus scared newcomers 5 and F 15 Fighter Jets 4. Jimbo said, “We are very average.”  Yes, we are.

Baylor 47 Kansas 7

Rice 0 Texas 58

Missouri 59 SE Missouri St 28

LSU 49 Central Michigan 21

I listed the above teams’ blowouts because none of them will have a blowout again. So you all receive both Cupcake Awards and Hair Dryer Awards. THE University of Texas receives a Rice bowl.  Remember this game TU when you play Vanderbilt in the future.

The biggest trophies this week are brought to you by the Optician Magicians and goes to the Officials. Specifically the officials who called the Mississippi State and Memphis game and the Penn State and Auburn Game. First award is the Three Blind Mice Award and goes to the refs for Memphis and Mississippi State. I am 72 years old and have had cataract surgery on both eyes and have never even called a Pee Wee football game, but I know that you cannot have two players with the same number on the field at the same time. FOUR! Granted, your educational systems suck, but one would think you can recognize two players wearing the same number Four!

But the worst was the obvious downing of the football by State but was picked up and run for a touchdown by Memphis.  For Bulldog fans I award the Near Cardiac Arrest Award and a New Cussing Jar.

The officials in Happy Pennsylvania were not making the crowds happy either. From Referee School 101 – KNOW WHAT DOWN IT IS! .

Auburn 20 Penn State 28. Also, a Stadium Fashion Award goes to Penn State. The White Out looked great.

In conclusion I now introduce a new award called The Most Cobs Shoved Up’ Award for Incredible Skill at Ineptitude.  Our first recipients of the award are the crew who called the Memphis and Mississippi State game. Cob Him!

Have a great week.

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Friday, September 25, 2020 – Snarky Friday in the Official COVID Asterisk College Football Season*

Posted on September 25, 2020 | 1 comment

Friday, September 25, 2020 – Snarky Friday in the Official COVID Asterisk College Football Season*

Welcome to the official COVID Asterisk College Football Season * We all know that whichever teams win whatever conferences and championships there will be an ASTERISK placed by their name. This due to the fact that players and coaches and other personnel are risking their assters by playing during a global pandemic. Some teams will play eight games; some will play nine; some will be postponed; some will be cancelled and so forth and so on. Like the virus, we just don’t know what will happen.

It is a season of reduced stadium capacities, cardboard fans, no tailgating, no bands and no cheer or yell leaders. Everybody on the sidelines will be wearing a mask. Referees will use their hand-held screeching device to signal starts and stops. This affords no spitting in the wind via blowing a whistle. With the presidential debates next week, I think the moderators should use a similar device. Maybe even a bull horn to shut the candidates up when their time expires.

Who plays whom and when?

The Breakfast Bunch of games at 11:00 AM are

  • Kansas State and Oklahoma on FOX in The Boomer Sooner Roll Over the Wildkats Bowl.
  • Florida and Ole Miss on ESPN in The Florida Scrimmage Bowl. It will be scrimmage for the Gators and not so much a game for the Rebels. Start the cocktails early in The Grove.
  • Kentucky and Auburn on the SEC Network in The Hill Billy Bowl. Enough said.

During the afternoon hours at the 2:30 time slot we find Mike Leach debuting as coach of the Mississippi State Bulldogs against the LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge. Watch for the Red Stick and Tigers to beat up Mike and the Bulldogs. Mikee, the stadium is called Death Valley for a reason and there are no pirates. GEAUX Tigers! Sorry, Elf and Big Solid.

Also at 2:30 we have THE University of Texas on the plains of Lubbock taking on Texas Tortilla Tech on FOX. Tech may not have a good season, but you can bet the Red Raiders will be up for Banjo Boy and the Longhorns. BEVO may catch a flying tortilla on his horns. 

West Virginia and Oklahoma State at 2:30 on ABC. Big time for the Cowboys and The Mountaineers. I hope the game is equally big time. Go Pokes!

The Georgia Bulldogs bring UGA, their mascot to meet Tusk the Razorback and the Hogs of Arkansas on the SEC Network – at least a virtual mascot meet. All mascots must wear masks and remain six feet apart. Lots of screaming red on the field, but the win goes to UGA big time.

It is now the evening and time for the big-time games. The evening starts with Alabama and Missouri on ESPN at 6:00. Saban’s Boys will roll the TIDE over Mizzu like a bulldozer on a black top tar road. If there were bands, the Alabama band could play the last quarter.

Baylor and Kansas on ESPNU at 6:30. PU is right. This will be a game of brightly colored team uniforms with low expectations. Come on. It’s Kansas. They play basketball.  Sic ‘Em, Bears!

My game of course will be Texas A&M and Vanderbilt on the SEC Alternate at 6:30. There will be no half-time performance by The Fighting Texas Aggie Band. In fact, the band will not even be in the stands. On Thursday evenings the band does a dress rehearsal and it is videoed. On game day, the percentage of fans allowed into Kyle Field and the cardboard fans will get to see the band on the big screen.

Friday’s Midnight Yell Practice is virtual. I am not certain how this is going to work. Am I supposed to stand in my living room, hump it and yell?

A! G! G! I! E! S! WHOOP! GIG ‘EM AGGIES! We shall see.

*****

WEAR THE MASK so this will be the only ASTERICK football season!

BTHO Vanderbilt!

*All games subject to COVID.

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