Wednesday, July 20, 2016 – Pressure! Under Pressure!

Posted on July 20, 2016 | 1 comment

Wednesday, July 20, 2016 – Pressure! Under Pressure!

I have grave concerns regarding the Trump campaign staff. Based on what I have noticed thus far I believe all of them could get a refund from their respective colleges and universities because minimal intelligence is being shown.

Austin Graffitti Wall 8.24.13 2013-08-24 008

We are NOT the Champions without the proper paperwork and permissions. The Trump Campaign allegedly used Queen and Freddie Mercury’s We Are the Champions without permissions last night at the Republican Convention.

The irony of course resides in the fact that Queen was led by the great Freddie Mercury. Mercury actually wrote the song. He is an antithesis of the political platform of the Republicans – even that fact that Mercury is from Persian descent. FYI to the geographically and historically challenged – today Persia is known as IRAN.

So Republicans you played a background anthem by a lead singer who was Iranian born to Muslim parents who was a homosexual and who died of AIDS.  Not to mention Queen is from England.

If you are going to use their songs without permission here are a couple songs from Queen I thing would be more appropriate for use at the convention that address how the rest of us feel. Don’t forget to ask for permission.

“Under Pressure”

Pressure pushing down on me Pressing down on you, no man ask for Under pressure that burns a building down Splits a family in two Puts people on streets It’s the terror of knowing What this world is about Watching some good friends Screaming, “Let me out!” Tomorrow gets me higher Pressure on people – people on streets

And of course… Bohemian Rhapsody. Let’s get those heads bobbing up and down.

I see a little silhouetto of a man, Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolt and lightning, Very, very frightening me. (Galileo) Galileo. (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo Figaro Magnifico.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/gop-pressure-queen-stop-champions-anthem/story?id=40699127

 

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Tuesday, July 19, 2016 – Where Is Pat Nixon’s Good Republican Cloth Coat? Do Any of the Trumps Own a Dog Named Checkers?

Posted on July 19, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, July 19, 2016 – Where Is Pat Nixon’s Good Republican Cloth Coat? Do Any of the Trumps Own a Dog Named Checkers?

I tried to watch the Republican National Convention last night. If fact, I made it through 18 minutes. Then I wanted to channel Rosemary Woods and erase it from my tape recorder – aka brain. Please know my inability to watch is not partisan. I feel confident I will make not the Democratic National Convention prime time either. Nine o’clock in the evening? Was this time slot selected to keep from scaring the children? To the Trump campaign: Do you realize your constituency of mad old, white people have been in bed for over an hour?

I am sorry I missed Melania Trump’s speech live. Really. Why? Whatever they are called in her native country she has a pair and we ain’t talkin bosoms. She walked to the podium knowing full well that from the moment the spotlight hit her that she was about to be hammered by the media and the “We, the people.” As Elizabeth Cook sings, “Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman.” Unfortunately Mrs. T., I still think you sound like one of Gabor sisters. But, hey. Not everyone in American has English as their first language.

It is too bad the inept speech writers and campaign staffers back loaded you with more crap that a dump truck can carry. I know supporters are trying to step away from the plagiarism thing and say “anyone could have thought of that, not just Mrs. O.” As someone who has made a living being a wordsmith (aka word nerd) every high school English teacher in the country and I can spot plagiarism within the first paragraph. There is even software that helps one avoid such literary pitfalls and the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. To be a successful plagiarist it is necessary to actually change the words around and not just copy and paste them from one place to another. Sorry, Mrs. T. Chalk up another ineptness for an inexperienced staff.

In looking at the various opinions on the Internet this morning, I thought your ensemble was very pretty and original. I see where it sold online for $2,200. I am definitely getting me a couple of these for Ms. Navasota and I to wear for tailgating this fall. It is so practical in Texas for women like me and other women who buy their clothing at Wal-Mart and Academy. I think the ensemble will go over well in College Station. Do you know if it comes in maroon and white? Is there a business that makes and sells them in The United States?

I might have gone with something a bit more Pat Nixon though. In 1952 the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Senator Richard Nixon, responded to a claim that an $18,000 campaign contribution was used for personal expenses. He went on all three channels of national TV describing the poor economic status for himself and his family. No insurance, back loans, small salary for his senate job, two small children, etc. FYI – This was all done at a reasonable hour of the evening like 7:30.

As his upper lip sweated, Nixon uttered the following.

“I should say this, that Pat doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat, and I always tell her she would look good in anything.”  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/primary-resources/nixon-checkers/

VEEP Candidate Nixon would go on to say the only thing his family had received was a small black and white puppy that daughter Tricia named Checkers. I cited the website above that has the full Checker’s Speech so the Trump staffers can plagiarize words and paragraphs. Don’t forget to change the dog’s name.

Brooklyn Bridge (800x534)

New York City. Brooklyn Bridge. 1985. Photo by me.

 

 

 

 

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Monday, July 18, 2016 – Multitasking with the IRS or Kiss My Arrears

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Monday, July 18, 2016 – Multitasking with the IRS or Kiss My Arrears

The word of the day is – arrears. It is a noun meaning the state of being behind or late, especially in the fulfillment of a duty promise obligation or the like; an unpaid debt.

9:45 AM – Call # 1 to IRS office – disconnected after I pressed ONE for English. Redial

IRS office (800x530)

What I Think the IRS office looks like. Actually Austin Graffiti Wall 2014 – photo by me.

9:49 AM – third attempt at entering my social security number. None of the numbers the automotron repeated were in my SS#. Two messages of: “That is not a valid SS#.” Well, that is the only one I have.

9:52 AM – Finally get in the line for “Please hold. All of our representatives are busy helping other customers, please continue to hold. Or visit our website at www@IRS.gov.” I am not visiting your website. I want to chew an overworked, underpaid federal employee’s ass out. While waiting my estimated 15-30 minutes, I will just tell you.

Dear IRS,

The package you will receive from me is not scary. It is not threatening. It contains turnips and a dented can of turnip greens I bought at the Dollar Store. This is the only type of green I can send you. This is in response to the THREE letters I received from you in the past 10 days requesting payment in full for my federal income tax.

Thank you for the three letters I received telling me I owe you money. I know this every month when you take your payment from my Social Security check.  You do not seem to have difficulty finding that correct social security number. I especially like the fact that each letter has a different amount to be paid.

I especially like the first letter you sent via regular snail mail. This is one that had all nine digits of my SS# as part of the address for everyone to see. The other two letters you sent via certified mail, which I had to go to the post office to obtain, had the first five numbers redacted. That means not able to be seen. This could be a reason your antiquated technology system does not recognize my SS# number as valid.

My favorite part of one of the letters is the “intent to terminate your installment payment agreement, so please pay $XXXX.31.” How in the Hell do you think terminating my installment payments is going to get your money paid in the full amount?” If you could get any more money out of me, please feel free to try – hence the package of turnips and can of greens to be delivered via UPS.

Dragons (800x530)

Dragon – How the IRS Makes Me Feel. Austin Graffiti Wall 2014 – photo by me.

Perhaps you should check the letter I returned to YOU last week like you told me to do in response to Letter # 1 saying I was already in a payment plan and to roll it over to the next year. Did that letter go to another department next door to yours?

10:09 AM – Disconnected again. Start over. Get back in line. Press 1 for English, attempt to enter SS# again. Still not valid. Just start pressing numbers and then hear this message: (I kid you not) “We are unable to answer your request. Call back another time or another day when we are less busy.”

10:30 AM – Screw it. Will go to website. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The website lists telephone numbers to call. There is a different 800 number with an extension to call on the website.

10:31AM – Get in 800 # line again.

10:48 AM – Still on hold.

So in conclusion – To the IRS: You really think my debit of less than $1500 from an old white woman on fixed income is going to solve the National Debit Crisis?

11:00 AM – Bad Musak stops. Message: Please wait.

Then a lovely lady named Michelle comes on line. She and I talk. She gets everything taken care of and at…

11:14 AM – Problem Solved! It took 14 minutes to solve the issue after waiting in cyber hell for 30 minutes. Thank you, Michelle.

To the rest of the IRS and especially those of you in Washington D. C. – You can kiss my arrears!

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Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

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Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Our word for today is animadversion. It is a noun meaning 1. “An unfavorable or censorious comment; to make animadversions on someone’s conduct; 2. The act of criticizing.

Let’s get our red, white and blue hats of animadversion ready for the circus that comes to Cleveland, Ohio on Monday – The Republican National Convention. This one is going to be a doozy and there promises to be many animadversions. The Presumptive Candidate will become The Candidate of the Republican Party unless all Hell breaks loose with delegates, which is still a possibility.

Mr. Trump and the Trump campaign selected Mike Pence from Indiana as his running mate. That makes the ticket Trump-Pence or trumpets. So far, Mr. Pence wins the follicle contest for having the better hair.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christi will be a featured speaker at the Convention. He was probably hoping for Veep, but perhaps now he will secure a Cabinet Post if the Republicans are victorious this fall. Maybe he will get Secretary of Transportation.

Leading the Texas delegation will be Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick. LG Patrick will be fresh off embarrassing my state at the Town Hall meeting last evening. Mr. Patrick was the only one who opening criticized the president, offered no solutions and then proceeded to look pouty the remainder of the evening. All of the other speakers asked for solutions and help. Please get well, Governor Abbott – never thought I would say that.

I see the on agenda that Benghazi will be discussed the first night of the convention. I have a few questions. Are we talking about the United States, England or Russia who has tried at Benghazi and failed over the centuries? Will this discussion of the past incidents change anything? Will you disclose how much it costs taxpayers to look backwards?

Political speeches are often (OK –always) boring. Therefore I have come up with some activities to do while watching history. Here are some drinking games to play during the boring speeches.

  1. Count the number of times a speaker dishes President Obama or Hillary Clinton. If the number is five within five minutes, do a tequila shot. If neither name has been uttered within five minutes, do tequila shot anyway.
  2. During camera pans of the audience do tequila shot each time you see a minority. Dr. Ben Carson does not count. Neither does Ted Cruz.
  3. If you live in a recreational state such as Colorado or Alaska, or if you have medical condition (and who doesn’t these days?) spark it up and pretend The Convention is a Made for TV Movie.
  4. Create a Play List for the Republican National Convention. Here. I will get you started – Send in The Clowns.
  5. Design a foreign policy for the Republican Campaign. Locating the state of Indiana does not count.

If all else fails may I suggest a movie? Rent, download or stream – A Day Without a Mexican. http://www.adaywithoutamexican.com/

One morning California wakes up to find that one third of its population has disappeared. A thick fog surrounds the State and communication outside its boundaries is completely cut off. As the day goes by we discover that the characteristic that links the 14 million disappearances is their Hispanic background.

Buenos Dias, Ya’ll!

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

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Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Posted on July 14, 2016 | 3 comments

Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Drinks @ Hilton (800x450)

French Champagne and a Belgium Moon.

Whatever you say, don’t call it Bastille Day. That’s a British term – the French call it the much more poetic ‘la fête du 14-Juillet’, or simply ‘la fête nationale’.

In fact, you don’t wish people ‘happy’ anything. Perhaps safest sticking with “Vive la France! Vive la République!” because that’s what it was all about.

The storming of the prison Bastille symbolized the start of the French Revolution. This is one of the many revolutions against the governments of the time. In the case of the French, this revolution did not go well for King Louis and Marie Antoinette. After several years of unrest in France a little man named Napoleon Bonaparte would appear on the scene of history.

Here are some words you can use today to show your support for France.

Bien sûr.

French Revolution – la Revolution Francaise

Republic – la Republique

French flag – le drapeau tricolore

Fireworks – le feu d’artifice

Military parade – le defile

Homeland – la patrie

Long Live France – Vive la France

Storming of the Bastille – la Prise de la Bastille

Eiffel Tower – la tour Eiffel

French national anthem – “La Marseillaise”

Great Football Team – Texas Aggies

OK, I was just checking to see if you were still reading.

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Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

Posted on July 13, 2016 | 1 comment

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

practice (293x456)

Today is Wednesday and the Briarcrest Women’s Golf League plays. My inner Korean golfer, Yu So Yung showed up for 17 holes. Then on number 18, her evil twin sister Yu So Suk ran onto the fairway and immediately hit two balls into the water. Then the evil wench went on to throw the ball into the bunker. Oh well, I still shot lower than the heat index.

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Tuesday, July 12, 2016 – Songs of Summer

Posted on July 12, 2016 | 2 comments

Tuesday, July 12, 2016 – Songs of Summer

Let’s go Boomers! Below is list of opening lines of songs about summer. See you can match the song to the artist. You probably cannot. I had to Google most of the artists. But I bet you can sing them all! Stay cool and sing along.

  1. Summertime and the living is easy
  2. Hot time; summer in the city; back of neck is dirt and gritty;
  3. In the good old summertime, in the good old summertime,
  4. In the summer time when the weather is hot, you can sit right down and touch the sky – Have a drink; have drive go out and see what you can find.
  5. ‘Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo), Here comes the sun, and I say It’s all right.
  6. The long, hot summer seems to know every time you are near…
  7. Cause there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues
  8. Hot Fun in the Summer Time
  9. Summertime, summertime, sum, sum summertime
  10. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray…Kerrville 5.18.12 056 (800x516)1.Summertime and the living is easy – multiple artists, but try Janis Joplin or Billy Holliday

    2.Hot time; summer in the city; back of neck is dirt and gritty; Loving Spoonful

    3.In the good old summertime, in the good old summertime, – multiple artists

    4.In the summer time when the weather is hot, you can sit right down – Have a drink; have drive go out and see what you can find. Mungo Jerry

    5.’Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo), Here comes the sun, and I say It’s all right. The Beatles

    6.The long, hot summer, seems to know every time you are near… Jimmie Rogers

    7.Cause there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues – Eddie Cochran

    8.Hot Fun in the Summer Time – Sly and the Family Stone

    9.Summertime, summertime, sum, sum summertime – The Jamies

    10.You are my sunshine, my only sunshine – Johnny Cash and the original Jimmie Davis

    Madeline Hunter 2Extra Credit if you can identify the painter of these pictures. They were on display in Kerrville, Texas 2014. Hint:  The artist was from Colfax, Louisiana.

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June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

Posted on July 11, 2016 | 3 comments

June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

Nov 2013 2013-08-24 156 (800x530)

In case you doubt the zombie apocalypse please know one of the zombies is alive and well and lives in the Texas Lt. Governor’s body. Like many of the others who work under the current dome of doom, his brain has been missing for decades.

In the midst of the tragedy in Dallas, Dan Patrick (DP) told Fox News the protesters were hypocrites for running the opposite direction when shots rang out. I was not raised in the city, so I am not certain the protocol for when people are shooting at you in large urban areas. In the country, however, when someone is shooting at me, unless I am in the military or law enforcement I am hauling my ass the opposite direction.

The Brainless Wonder went on to blame the organization Black Lives Matter for the entire incident. Once again, I am not certain of your raising, DP, but that judgement and blaming thing does not sound too Christian.

As you tried to name the amendments you support – “Second Amendment and Freedom of Speech,” you seemed to have forgotten Freedom of Speech is not an amendment. It is one of the unalienable rights listed in the First Amendment. The First Amemendent also includes the Right to Peaceful Assembly. The First amendment also addresses freedom of Religion, Press and Petition. Oh that is correct; you zombie politicians on quote the amendents you like.

Brainless Wonder would go to say on KSKY660 AM radio that he questioned Dallas Police Chief’s decision regarding uniforms for his department. DP suggested short sleeve shirts and less body armor to appear less menacing.

In a morning radio call to KSKY/660 AM host Mark Davis, Patrick even questioned Dallas Police Chief David Brown’s choice for officers to wear their more friendly summer shirtsleeves instead of menacing body armor. http://www.star-telegram.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/bud-kennedy/article88612122.html

DP? Do you not have anything better to do that to tell people where to go to the bathroom and how to dress for work?

God Bless Texas and Dallas and keep your voter registration card current.

AXO wkend 2013 2013-10-06 001

Road side sign – Hearne Texas – 2014. Photo by me.

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Friday, July 8, 2016 – Dallas

Posted on July 8, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, June 8, 2016 – Dallas

Once again our hearts mourn for those who protect and serve and to those who gave their lives doing so.

Peace to all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

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Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Posted on July 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Yesterday: Brazos District Court Voir Dire

Court Clerk: “As your name is called, please take a seat in the jury box. Name # 1. Name # 2. Name # 3 DRD.” Oh crap, that is me. I was both excited and nervous.

Court Clerk “You three will be the Foreman, Secretary and Alternate Foreman. Do you have any objections?” I like that, Alternate Foreman.

Court Clerk: – Do you have any questions?

Me: “Yes, Does this honor come with a crown or sash of some sort? Perhaps a pretty name badge?” OK, I thought about it, but did not ask. It does come with $40 per day and free parking.

Nine other names and four alternates were called and seated in the jury box. The remaining people happily walked out the door. The judge then administered the oath and we all swore or affirmed we would do whatever he had just said.

We were then escorted to the third floor to meet with another lawyer to explain what we had just sworn or affirmed to do. Here is a paraphrase of his presentation.

The Grand Jury listens to cases to determine if there is sufficient evidence to proceed to a trial. The members of the GJ do not determine guilt or innocence or sentencing.

You may hear anywhere from five to fifty or more cases per day. Most of them will be felonies. You will be surprised what people will steal from Wal-Mart.

Hopefully, this will be fun and educational for you. You will learn much about the legal system. Law enforcement officials will give presentations and demonstrations. You will get to see what cocaine looks like and what marijuana smells like. Yes, Ms. Alternate Foreperson?

No, there will not be opportunities for sampling the products.

More blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda yadday and then came the question that I know was on every one’s mind. From the back of the room an older gentleman raised his hand and said, “I have to go to the bathroom a lot. Will there be breaks?” If looks were hugs this man just got a huge grand jury group hug.

Yes, you may take as many breaks as you need.

What a relief. Here’s what I’m thinking. I am about to spend the third Thursday of each month from July to December with these people. We will determine the course or direction one’s life will take. And it all Depends on the size of our respective bladders. See you in court!

Door decorations

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