Tuesday, July 19, 2016 – Where Is Pat Nixon’s Good Republican Cloth Coat? Do Any of the Trumps Own a Dog Named Checkers?

I tried to watch the Republican National Convention last night. If fact, I made it through 18 minutes. Then I wanted to channel Rosemary Woods and erase it from my tape recorder – aka brain. Please know my inability to watch is not partisan. I feel confident I will make not the Democratic National Convention prime time either. Nine o’clock in the evening? Was this time slot selected to keep from scaring the children? To the Trump campaign: Do you realize your constituency of mad old, white people have been in bed for over an hour?

I am sorry I missed Melania Trump’s speech live. Really. Why? Whatever they are called in her native country she has a pair and we ain’t talkin bosoms. She walked to the podium knowing full well that from the moment the spotlight hit her that she was about to be hammered by the media and the “We, the people.” As Elizabeth Cook sings, “Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman.” Unfortunately Mrs. T., I still think you sound like one of Gabor sisters. But, hey. Not everyone in American has English as their first language.

It is too bad the inept speech writers and campaign staffers back loaded you with more crap that a dump truck can carry. I know supporters are trying to step away from the plagiarism thing and say “anyone could have thought of that, not just Mrs. O.” As someone who has made a living being a wordsmith (aka word nerd) every high school English teacher in the country and I can spot plagiarism within the first paragraph. There is even software that helps one avoid such literary pitfalls and the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. To be a successful plagiarist it is necessary to actually change the words around and not just copy and paste them from one place to another. Sorry, Mrs. T. Chalk up another ineptness for an inexperienced staff.

In looking at the various opinions on the Internet this morning, I thought your ensemble was very pretty and original. I see where it sold online for $2,200. I am definitely getting me a couple of these for Ms. Navasota and I to wear for tailgating this fall. It is so practical in Texas for women like me and other women who buy their clothing at Wal-Mart and Academy. I think the ensemble will go over well in College Station. Do you know if it comes in maroon and white? Is there a business that makes and sells them in The United States?

I might have gone with something a bit more Pat Nixon though. In 1952 the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Senator Richard Nixon, responded to a claim that an $18,000 campaign contribution was used for personal expenses. He went on all three channels of national TV describing the poor economic status for himself and his family. No insurance, back loans, small salary for his senate job, two small children, etc. FYI – This was all done at a reasonable hour of the evening like 7:30.

As his upper lip sweated, Nixon uttered the following.

“I should say this, that Pat doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat, and I always tell her she would look good in anything.” http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/primary-resources/nixon-checkers/

VEEP Candidate Nixon would go on to say the only thing his family had received was a small black and white puppy that daughter Tricia named Checkers. I cited the website above that has the full Checker’s Speech so the Trump staffers can plagiarize words and paragraphs. Don’t forget to change the dog’s name.