Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

Friday, November 3, 2017 – Snarky Friday Football

My apologies for bloggus interruptus this week. Sometimes life gets in the way. Therefore, I have not been able to conduct the extensive research that I do to prepare for today. That really just means I have not looked at the ESPN app.

Good grief, Charlie Brown! Who programmed all of these games at 11:00 AM? I want names.

At the horrible hour of 11:00 AM, one can watch Penn State and Michigan State on Fox or Wisconsin and Indiana on ABC. Mississippi State is playing UMass on the SECN.

From the plains of Lubbock we have Kansas State visiting Texas Tech on FS 1. This should prove to a regular tortilla flinging contest.

In a game of Not Worthy for TV Coverage, Baylor and Kansas play for pride with hopes not to finish the Big 12 Conference Standings in DAL (Dead Ass Last). Basketball officially begins next week.

The 11:00 game of interest is on ESPN between Auburn and the Texas Aggies. Join me and other Former Students of Texas A&M University as we begin the Kevin Sumlin Farewell Tour. When we pay you large sums of money, we want more than a Fair-Well team. Even an upset will not save your seat, Coach.

 

Dear Coach Saban, is there anyone on your payroll that is ready for a head coaching position? Is there a way Texas A&M can clone you, Sir?

Coach Dabo? You got any one ready and prepped? Anybody at Ohio State? Wisconsin? Austin Westlake HS? Lake Travis High School?

At 2:30 ESPN2 brings us Iowa State and West Virginia. Are you serious? Iowa State is leading the Big 12? That ain’t right.

On CBS we have Georgia and South Carolina. That UGA dog is getting some serious committee notice. Like Baylor and Kansas, SC can also look forward to basketball season.

Stanford and Washington State are on Fox and Clemson and NC State are on ABC. West Coast crazy people versus East Coast crazy people.

The game of interest for the afternoon is BEDLAM! In Stillwater on FS1 with Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State. Go POKES! This should be a quarterback extravaganza.

Now we prepare for the evening games and the time change. As if 11:00 football games do not mess us up enough!

This one could be good one and hopefully knock Iowa State out of the Big 12 lead. At 6:15 THE University of Texas and TCU kick off on ESPN live from Amon G. Carter Stadium. This could be a defining win for Bevo and the Boys.

BJ and J and Lisa and Rick, please forgive me but I got to go with DNA and family when Alabama and LSU kick off on CBS at 7:00.

Don’t forget to set your clocks BACK one hour before you go to bed or fall asleep during these two West Coast games.

Oregon and Washington FS1 9:00 and Arizona and USC ESPN 9:45.

Meanwhile, it’s Maroon Out in Kyle Field for Auburn so let’s hump it Ags and

BTHO Auburn!!!

Technical difficulties are preventing pictures. Probably Russian hackers.

Thursday, November 2, 2017- Deep in the Heart of Texas and The Astros Win the Series!

Thursday, November 2, 2017- Deep in the Heart of Texas and

The Astros Win the Series!

I know Honeyboy is doing the Forty-Dance (See Sunday, October 22). Let’s all dance and everybody sing along; follow the imaginary bouncing baseball.

The stars at night are big and bright; < clap, clap, clap>

The Astros win the Series!

 

We’ve waited long; but we’re Houston Strong,

The Astros win the Series!

 The Dodgers trailed out on the Coast;

The Astros win the Series!

 The homeruns fly; Off Springer’s bat;

The Astros win the Series!

 We’re the Champs; of all baseball;

The Astros win the Series!

 Reminds us of; the team we love;

The Astros win the Series!

Photo by whichever family member was @ Minute Maid Park this day.

Friday, October 27, 2017 – Snarky Friday – Go Astros!

Friday, October 27, 2017 – Snarky Friday – Go Astros!

It is time for Snarky Friday as we prepare for Saturday college football. Saturday football begins with those teams chosen by ESPN Family, the SECN and ABC for the following games at 11:00.

Arkansas and Ole Miss fight a fierce battle for DAL (Dead Ass Last) Place in the SEC West. I will have a side of bacon with my Hotty Toddy God Aw Mighty… See this coaching seat heat up for Bret Bielema on SECN.

Oklahoma State and West Virginia. Dear Pistol Pete, Please win so the Mountaineers will not set fire to couches as is their tradition when they win. And please no comments on Gundy’s Mullet. Watch this on ABC.

But the best morning game coming to you live from beautiful McLane Stadium, just North on I-35 in Waco, Texas, we find the eager Texas Longhorns and the Baylor Bears on ESPNU. I hope the Texas team left today. You know how traffic is on I-35. Sic ‘Em Bears! If you can only win one game this season, pray for a miracle upon the Brazos that it is this one.

The 2:30 programming window brings in the Fox and CBS networks and gives us more games.

Assuming West Virginia has not set fire to Morgan Town and ABC does not have to cover the town burning down, Iowa State and TCU kick off on ABC. You just never know about Iowa State. Go Frogs.

Penn State and Ohio State on Fox – This is the Impress the Soon to Meet Voting Committee Game. I feel confident Penn State will not win best uniform award. Be prepared for booth mouths to discuss “What is a Nittany Lion?”

Georgia and Florida on CBS – Is this Biggest Cocktail Party? Or is the Biggest Cocktail Party now the entire SEC conference?

On ABC at 7:00 in the I Really Do not Care Game we find Oklahoma and Tortilla Tech. Too bad the game is not in Lubbock. I feel certain Baker would love to plant the OU flag on the 50 yard line for this one.

And then it is Saturday Night! Where are my salts? I feel certain I will more than the usual weekend Dilly Dilly to get through the night with these two events.

The Astros will be playing Game Four of the World Series hopefully with a 2-1 lead over the Dodgers.

On ESPN at 6:15 it will be maroons against maroons when the Bulldogs of Mississippi State and Texas A&M kick off in Kyle Field. I hope Bully and the team have a good time while visiting, but not as good as the last time you were here. Note to John Chavis: In case you forgot, Nicki Fitz can run. Remember: Aggies are wearing jerseys with glow in the dark markings (marketings?). See you at Yell Practice. It is midnight somewhere.

Let us close with a sports’ prayer.

Please Lord, do not let anybody get hurt.

Please do not let Mack Brown announce anything or be near a microphone.

Please do not let Pam – aka That Screechy Woman- announces the Texas A&M versus Mississippi State game or any other game I am watching.

Please give Joe Buck a bad case of Houston allergies and the inability to speak for at least a week.

Please remind all of the Booth Mouths they are to call the football game, not to second guess the referees, the coaches, the band, the doctors, the fans, the hot dogs, the mascots, the traditions or anything else that comes out of their mouths that displays their lack of doing their homework and their overall ignorance.

Let them know that it is obvious between those who actually played the game and those who took broadcasting classes with football as book learning only.

Please silence them when they begin a sentence with “When I played/coached…”

Please do not allow this referring crew in Kyle Field.

And last, Lord, BTHO Mississippi State. Amen.

Go Astros.

12th Man Statue. Photo by me.

Thursday, October 26, 2017 – Astros, Guy Clark and If We Can Just Get Off of That L A Freeway

Thursday, October 26, 2017 – Astros, Guy Clark and If we can just get off of that L A Freeway

Please answer the following question regarding last night’s World Series game.

What were you doing last night while pulling for the Houston Astros playing the Los Angeles Dodgers in Game Two of the World Series?

(a) Biting your nails

(b) Peeing in your pants

(c) Holding your breath

(d) All of the above.

I was so tired I was not able to do the HB Forty Dance to celebrate the victory. What a game! Way to go Astros! Series tied.

The Astros are coming home to Houston for the next two games in the series. I found this by the great Guy Clark to help us get ready.

Got to give it all we can now
I believe everything your saying
Just keep on keep on playing…

We’ve got something to believe in…

If they can just get off of this L A Freeway…

GO ASTROS!

Live from Austin, Guy Clark, July 3, 2008

https://youtu.be/yTwUpkEK6yk

Pack up all your dishes
Make note of all good wishes
Say goodbye to the landlord for me

That sum-bitch has always bored me

Throw out them old LA papers
And that moldy box of vanilla wafers

Adios to all this concrete
Gonna get me some dirt road back street

If I can just get off of that L.A. freeway
Without getting killed or caught

Down that road in a cloud of smoke
For some land that I ain’t bought bought bought

Here’s to you old skinny Dennis
Only one I think I will miss
I can hear your Bassman singin   Sweet and low like a gift your bringin’

Play it for me one more time now
Got to give it all we can now
I believe everything your saying
Just keep on keep on playing

If I can just get off of that L.A. freeway
Without getting killed or caught
Down that road in a cloud of smoke
For some land that I ain’t bought bought bought

Put the pink slip in the mailbox
Leave the key in the old front door lock

They will find it likely as not
With all the things that we have forgot

Oh Susanna now don’t you cry, babe
Love’s a gift that’s surely handmade
We’ve got something to believe in

Before you know it’s time we’re leavin’

If I can just get off of that L.A. freeway

Without getting killed or caught
Down that road in a cloud of smoke
For some land that I ain’t bought bought bought

If I can just get off of that L.A. freeway …

Songwriter: Guy Clark

Tuesday, October 24, 2017 – Yesterday and Tonight

Tuesday, October 24, 2017 – Yesterday and Tonight

I apologize for the absence yesterday and no awards. I was up late the previous night studying for two tests. I am pleased to say I made an A- on my blood test. The results of the urine test look good too.

Who is ready for the Game One of the World Series? Houston fans have been waiting for so many years with so many memories.

I see the temperatures are near 100 degrees in Los Angeles. As they say in California, “It’s not the heat; it’s the fires.”

Photo by me. From my sports collection.

Let’s play Houston Astros stream of consciousness I will give you a memory and you can make an Astro memory association. Ready?

  • Colt 45’s
  • Astros
  • Nolan Ryan
  • Astrodome
  • The old Astrodome scoreboard
  • Foamer Domers
  • Killer B’s
  • All Star Game 1968
  • Minute Maid Park
  • Jose Altuve

Go Astros. Batter up @ 7:08.

The Astrodome scoreboard was considered high tech at the time.

Click on link to see more pictures of the old Astrodome.

http://www.ballparksofbaseball.com/ballparks/astrodome/

Sunday, October 22, 2017 – The Forty Dance or 4 – 0. GO ASTROS!

 

Sunday, October 22, 2017 – The Forty Dance or 4 – 0. GO ASTROS!

I know my farther aka Honeyboy is doing the Forty Dance because our Astros are going to the World Series. What was the Forty Dance?

It was a happy dance he did on certain rare occasions. It also made my mother scold him for doing it and me for laughing at him.

It usually came when there was a victory over an archrival or a team he did not like. For example – The New York Yankees or the Los Angeles Dodgers.

It went like this:

Burst into the room, begin dancing and begin singing “Forty dance; forty dance; I’m going to do the forty dance.”

Place your right ankle and on your left knee and sing out “Here’s the four!”

Return foot to floor and sing out “Where the O?”

With great exaggerated motion turn around, bend over, stick out your butt and point to …well, you get it.

The O was yours last night, Yankees. Great series though.

Let’s hope there are some Forty Dances next week. A four to zip sweep and we’ll Forty Dance in downtown Houston in a conga line.

 

Friday, October 20, 2017 – Snarky Snark Snarky Friday. And Why I Love LSU When They Are Not Playing the Texas Aggies

Friday, October 20, 2017 – Snarky Snark Snarky Friday. And Why I Love LSU When They Are Not Playing the Texas Aggies

It is the Friday before college football and that means my Snarky Friday. My list seems rather short today, but remember I only write about teams I like and teams that play teams I like. Until the “official committee” listing comes out at the end of the month, these are the ones I am going with today.

Let’s kick off Saturday with THE University of Texas and Oklahoma State @ 11:00. Lots of orange to be seen in DK Royal Memorial Stadium. Old Austinites (Austonians?) remember the bumper sticker from Maggie Mae’s? “Beer! Not just for breakfast anymore!” Go Pokes! Must go with the money and DNA on this one.

On CBS at 2:30 we can find Tennessee and Alabama. The TIDE should roll over Rocky Top, but with Butch’s coaching seat getting hot, I am going to VOLUNTEER that anything might happen.

Boomer Sooner on Fox with OU and Kansas State at 3:00. Yuk, yawn and reaching for the remote to tune into:

The Mississippi State Bulldogs and the Wildcats of Kentucky on SECN at 3:00. It should be a real dog and cat fight. Go State! See you next weekend in beautiful Kyle Field. Just so you know – The Aggies are allegedly wearing uniforms that have glow in the dark features.

Continuing with the Battle of the Schools that Begin with the Letter A we find Auburn and Arkansas at 6:30 on the SECN. Speaking of coach’s seats growing warmer, the bacon is beginning to burn in Arkansas.

Kansas meets TCU on Fox 7:00. Dear Jayhawks, Basketball season tips off this month.

Poor Baylor. I do not believe the West Virginia Baylor game beginning @7:00 even made ESPN3. Here’s hoping that it doesn’t rain on your Homecoming Parade, BU. Is this the game where all the old lady alums run as the Baylor Line? Debbie, Susi and Jeri? I hope the Mountaineers do not burn couches at their away games.

At 6:15 my channel and my heart will be watching LSU and Ole Miss. Even though I was only nine years old at the time, the Halloween game of 1959 became a legend in our family. Here’s to you Cousin Donnie Daye for giving me the love of football. I know you will be looking down.

LSU Band tribute to Donnie. 2015 (I think)

Donnie and Penny Daye – Good Memories.

Here’s to you, Billy Cannon for being so nice and remembering Donnie the day you signed my shirt. So now I have the signatures of the blocker and blockee of the Tiger victory over the Ole Miss Rebels.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Cannon%27s_Halloween_Run

GEAUX TIGERS!

For the Aggies: BTHO BYE WEEK

Did you know? Heisman winner Billy Cannon was supposed to play for the Texas Aggies. But a few too many incidents with parish law officials required that he stay in the state of Louisiana.

Thursday, October 19, 2017 – Everybody Dance Now! Now This Is Some Wizardry of Oz!

Thursday, October 19, 2017 – Everybody Dance Now! Now This Is Some Wizardry of Oz!

Take a look at the video of the Homecoming Pep Rally from an Arizona High School. What energy! Great job!

AXO Sisters. Let’s do this for our fiftieth reunion. Who’s in?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2horVdXz70

Wednesday, October 18, 2017 – Silver Wings and Help Me Understand

Wednesday, October 18, 2017 – Silver Wings and Help Me Understand

Help me understand. Four Americans were killed in the 2012 terrorist attack on the United States’ diplomatic compound in Benghazi. When their flag draped coffins arrived in Dover, Maryland the then President of the United States and the Secretary of State met them. Nevertheless, the two were vilified for their actions in Benghazi.

The current president of the United States did not acknowledge the deaths of the four Green Berets in Niger until specifically asked about it. There was no press. No flags ordered to half-staff. Nothing for twelve days! When the POTUS did address the deaths, he lied about his predecessors’ actions and then made the situation worse when he did acknowledge the deaths to the families of the soldiers.

Why is there no outrage? Why is there no Facebook ranting demanding the flags be flown at half-staff in their honor? The death of a military hero doing his or her job to make the world safer should not be politicized. I do not understand the hypocrisy displayed.

Therefore, in my own little insignificant way, today I honor the four brave men, their courage, and send thoughts of peace to their families and loved ones and to the world.

Sing (or cry) along with SStg. Barry Sanders.

Silver wings upon their chests; these are men of America’s best…

https://youtu.be/m5WJJVSE_BE

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

Monday, October 16, 2017 – The Monday After College Football Awards

What a fun football weekend. Let’s get this party started!

SWAMP! SWAMP! CHOMP! CHOMP! Alligator tastes like Chicken Award goes to the Texas Aggie Field Goal Kicker and the Defensive Unit.

The Aggies also win the Historical Award for not having won a football game in the state of Florida since World War II.

This week I should give a Clean Undies Award because almost every team wins a Poopy Undies Award. Games are getting interesting.

Let’s back up to Friday and start with the Dysfunctional Digestive Awards.The Clemson Tiger coughed up a hairball as Clemson was upset by Otto the Orange and Syracuse 27-24.Just as the Pepto Dismal kicks in for that game Cal (Berkley) put a hippy dippy ass whopping on Mike Leach’s boys from Washington State 37-3.

The West Coast Slide Down the Rankings continued Saturday night with Washington being upset by Arizona State. 7 – 13

Saturday began with TCU and K-State in lightening delay # 1.

The Pyro Burning Sofa Award goes to West Virginia. You got admit, it is way more hillbilly to burn a sofa when your team wins than throw tortillas. Texas Tech 35 West Virginia 46.

The OOH Whee Baby Don’t you know You Set My Soul on Fire Award goes to the Tigers of LSU for their victory over Auburn. LSU 27 Auburn 23. Way to make the SEC interesting.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 2.

The Great Game Award goes to Oklahoma University and THE University of Texas. I am also awarding the Left It All on the Field Award to both teams. OU 29 and THE University of Texas 24.

TCU and K-State lightening delay # 3 through whenever and aka as WHERE is the damn Baylor/Oklahoma State game?

Finally…TCU 26 and Kansas State 6.

Then the Cowboys of Oklahoma State win the Keeping Baylor Perfect Award by winning over the hapless Bears.59-16.

The Still the One as in Number One Award goes to Alabama. In the SEC Battle of Schools Beginning the Letter A-The Tide of Alabama had no trouble rolling over the pigs of Arkansas. Note to the Arkansas Coach – Did you happen to look to the other side and see what Coach Saban was wearing? Some nice beige pants; a nice polo shirt – very classy. You, on the other side looked like a sad, red busted balloon. I know they got better clothes at Wal-Mart. Tide 41 – Hogs 9.

Now back to the SWAMP.

In the Where’s the Mute Button Category, the John Wilkes Booth Announcer Award for worse announcers goes to the ESPN-hired duet attempting to be speaking or making words for the A&M/Florida game. Yes, Beth, I am happy you know football as you do and are announcing, but your voice is that of fingernails on a chalk board. Where did you audition? Texas School for the Deaf?

And Side Kick Dude? What was your first language? I am thinking maybe not English. I stopped counting your grammatical errors in quarter one with “he should have ran out of bounds and “he throwed it to a covered receiver.”

The uniforms looked worse on TV.

The Florida Gators win two Awards for Uniforms. First they win The Invisible Blend into the Field Ugliest Uniform. They also win The New Color in the Crayola Box Award – Swamp Dirt Water Brown.

A Big Solid Award goes to Texas Aggie Tyrel Dotson for intercepting a Florida pass to end the game with an Aggie victory 19-17.

Next week: BTHO BYE WEEK!

Photo by me 1986. Old Yankee Stadium in the Bronx. Demolished in 2010.

Tonight: Astros/Yankees 7:08 FS1 – Not this Year Yanks! BTHO Yankees!