Category Archives: Politics

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

Posted on July 26, 2016 | 2 comments

Tuesday, July 26, 2016 – A Good Night for Simon and Garfunkel – Songs of the Year and a DNC Review

I woke up this morning still trying to determine what decade I am in. I think it is still 1968.

When Paul Simon stepped on stage last night at the Democratic National Convention, you just knew he was going to sing Bridge Over Troubled Water. Like the shape many believe America to be in, his voice was raspy and maybe not able to hit to high notes so well, but it was still beautiful. When the song is perfect, it is not the voice that sings it, but the words the voice sings.

Then came The Bern and Senator Sanders’ video featuring America. Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they’ve all come to look for America. The only thing missing during that concert scene was the Bic lighters.

DSC_1153 - Copy (800x527)

Cory Booker, Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and Michelle Obama all spoke at the last night’s convention. Regardless of your candidate, you must admit they were all better speakers that the previous ones from last week who said “Vote for my Daddy.”

Staten Island Ferry (800x500)

Cory Booker – What a Hotty and a Stanford graduate, and played football. Go Cardinal. Now he is the first Black Senator from New Jersey. Wow, those gifted and talented children do come in all colors, shapes and sizes!

Elizabeth Warren – “I come from Oklahoma and went to a commuter college in Texas.” That is definitely a definition of a First Genner – the first of one’s family to attend college. Her undergraduate college would be the University of Houston, once known as Cougar High, once known as home of Phi Slamma Jamma, but still has a beautiful mascot named Shasta. Shasta will look good in The Big 12 Conference.

Anyway, back to Simon and Garfunkel. The year 1968 was a good year for songs. Check out the top 100 songs of 1968. Simon and Garfunkel had two in the top 100. http://www.musicoutfitters.com/topsongs/1968.htm

I know these tunes blasted from my dorm room and up and down the hall of Dorm 18 from other stationary technology music machines on the lovely campus of Stephen F. Austin in 1968. I know you can sing a few words to all them. All of the songs would be appropriate for either campaign.

And Here’s to You Mrs. Robinson, Jesus loves you more than you will know…

If you are really bored, check out the video of the 1968 Democratic Convention in Chicago. The more things change; the more they stay the same. And We, The People are still here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Iye1NQy1NY

2 Comments

Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , , , ,

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Posted on July 25, 2016 | 1 comment

Monday, July 25, 2016 – Notes From the Democratic National Convention

Right off the gavel “Within minutes, CNN was reporting that the DNC Rules Committee had relieved Wasserman Schultz of her role as convention chair and replaced her with Ohio Rep. Marcia Fudge. “ Really? The Democratic National Convention RULES Committee is now chaired by a woman whose last name is Fudge? As in Fudge the Rules?

What is on the agenda tonight?

The first guess speaker at tonight’s Democratic National Convention is Charlie Brown’s teacher. Let’s listen to a portion of what she will say.

Wha wha wha; Blah, blah, blah;Wha wha wha wha; Blah.

Can’t wait to hear more of that tonight. There are other big political names scheduled to speak tonight. Michelle Obama also takes the podium this evening. I wonder if she will plagarize Melania Trump’s speech.

One never knows, but it sounds as though the indoors will be boring. It is the outdoors that is going to be interesting. What year is this? 1968 all over again? Where are we? Chicago? Is this one of the flashbacks our parents warned us about? (J. Buffet)  Or am I witnessing history repeat itself? YIPPIE(S)!

According to Yahoo, planned protests include:

Some will call for voters to “deregister” from the major parties. Some are planning to block thoroughfares used to transport delegates to and from the arena. Some will be staging a “Mock Trial of Hillary Clinton.” Some are willing to be arrested.

Some will be marching a 51-foot inflatable marijuana joint from City Hall to the Wells Fargo Center.

That takes some really big Zig Zags! I cannot wait to see that in high definition!

Regardless of how one feels about the soon not to be presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, you must admit you will witness history.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/unconventional-43-dnc-day-one-000000574.html

Ship wreck 2 (800x537)

1 Comment

Posted in humor, Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , , , ,

Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

Posted on July 22, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 27, 2015 – A Literary Snark Attack – Jabberwocky

In honor of the end of the Republican National Convention and the start of the Democratic National Convention, I present to you for your Snarky Friday – Jabberwocky.

Dragons (800x530)

Jabberwocky is considered one of the greatest nonsense poems written in English. I am guessing there may one or two from the intelligentsia who will make the connection of Jabberwocky to the political landscape of the day. Pick your personal jabberwock, but beware  of “the frumious Bandersnatch!”

JABBERWOCKY

Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves,  And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!   The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun   The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand:   Long time the manxome foe he sought — So rested he by the Tumtum tree,   And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,   The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,   And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through   The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head   He went galumphing back.

“And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?   Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!’   He chortled in his joy.
`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves   Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogves,   And the mome raths outgrabe.

 

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , , ,

Thursday, July 21, 2016 – It is a Grand Day

Posted on July 21, 2016 | 1 comment

Thursday, July 21, 2016 – It is a Grand Day

Actually, it is a Grand Jury Day. Today I begin the first of six days serving on the Brazos County District Court Grant Jury. On the third Thursday of each month from now until December I serve on the jury. Therefore I must save all of my brilliant bursts of thought for today. And yes, BJ, I am sworn to secrecy.

The photograph of the painting has nothing to do with jury duty.  Those not on FB informed me I did not give the name of the artist when writing about her the other day.  The artist is Clementine Hunter – Louisiana folk artist born in Cloutierville[4] in Natchitoches Parish, and grew up along Cane River near Melrose Plantation.  This is the region of Louisiana my parents and sister are from as well as the rest of family members.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clementine_Hunter

Madeline Hunter 2

1 Comment

Posted in Education, Native Texan, Politics

Tuesday, July 19, 2016 – Where Is Pat Nixon’s Good Republican Cloth Coat? Do Any of the Trumps Own a Dog Named Checkers?

Posted on July 19, 2016 | Leave a comment

Tuesday, July 19, 2016 – Where Is Pat Nixon’s Good Republican Cloth Coat? Do Any of the Trumps Own a Dog Named Checkers?

I tried to watch the Republican National Convention last night. If fact, I made it through 18 minutes. Then I wanted to channel Rosemary Woods and erase it from my tape recorder – aka brain. Please know my inability to watch is not partisan. I feel confident I will make not the Democratic National Convention prime time either. Nine o’clock in the evening? Was this time slot selected to keep from scaring the children? To the Trump campaign: Do you realize your constituency of mad old, white people have been in bed for over an hour?

I am sorry I missed Melania Trump’s speech live. Really. Why? Whatever they are called in her native country she has a pair and we ain’t talkin bosoms. She walked to the podium knowing full well that from the moment the spotlight hit her that she was about to be hammered by the media and the “We, the people.” As Elizabeth Cook sings, “Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman.” Unfortunately Mrs. T., I still think you sound like one of Gabor sisters. But, hey. Not everyone in American has English as their first language.

It is too bad the inept speech writers and campaign staffers back loaded you with more crap that a dump truck can carry. I know supporters are trying to step away from the plagiarism thing and say “anyone could have thought of that, not just Mrs. O.” As someone who has made a living being a wordsmith (aka word nerd) every high school English teacher in the country and I can spot plagiarism within the first paragraph. There is even software that helps one avoid such literary pitfalls and the slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune. To be a successful plagiarist it is necessary to actually change the words around and not just copy and paste them from one place to another. Sorry, Mrs. T. Chalk up another ineptness for an inexperienced staff.

In looking at the various opinions on the Internet this morning, I thought your ensemble was very pretty and original. I see where it sold online for $2,200. I am definitely getting me a couple of these for Ms. Navasota and I to wear for tailgating this fall. It is so practical in Texas for women like me and other women who buy their clothing at Wal-Mart and Academy. I think the ensemble will go over well in College Station. Do you know if it comes in maroon and white? Is there a business that makes and sells them in The United States?

I might have gone with something a bit more Pat Nixon though. In 1952 the Republican Vice Presidential candidate, Senator Richard Nixon, responded to a claim that an $18,000 campaign contribution was used for personal expenses. He went on all three channels of national TV describing the poor economic status for himself and his family. No insurance, back loans, small salary for his senate job, two small children, etc. FYI – This was all done at a reasonable hour of the evening like 7:30.

As his upper lip sweated, Nixon uttered the following.

“I should say this, that Pat doesn’t have a mink coat. But she does have a respectable Republican cloth coat, and I always tell her she would look good in anything.”  http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/primary-resources/nixon-checkers/

VEEP Candidate Nixon would go on to say the only thing his family had received was a small black and white puppy that daughter Tricia named Checkers. I cited the website above that has the full Checker’s Speech so the Trump staffers can plagiarize words and paragraphs. Don’t forget to change the dog’s name.

Brooklyn Bridge (800x534)

New York City. Brooklyn Bridge. 1985. Photo by me.

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Posted in Education, humor, Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , , , ,

Monday, July 18, 2016 – Multitasking with the IRS or Kiss My Arrears

Posted on July 18, 2016 | Leave a comment

Monday, July 18, 2016 – Multitasking with the IRS or Kiss My Arrears

The word of the day is – arrears. It is a noun meaning the state of being behind or late, especially in the fulfillment of a duty promise obligation or the like; an unpaid debt.

9:45 AM – Call # 1 to IRS office – disconnected after I pressed ONE for English. Redial

IRS office (800x530)

What I Think the IRS office looks like. Actually Austin Graffiti Wall 2014 – photo by me.

9:49 AM – third attempt at entering my social security number. None of the numbers the automotron repeated were in my SS#. Two messages of: “That is not a valid SS#.” Well, that is the only one I have.

9:52 AM – Finally get in the line for “Please hold. All of our representatives are busy helping other customers, please continue to hold. Or visit our website at www@IRS.gov.” I am not visiting your website. I want to chew an overworked, underpaid federal employee’s ass out. While waiting my estimated 15-30 minutes, I will just tell you.

Dear IRS,

The package you will receive from me is not scary. It is not threatening. It contains turnips and a dented can of turnip greens I bought at the Dollar Store. This is the only type of green I can send you. This is in response to the THREE letters I received from you in the past 10 days requesting payment in full for my federal income tax.

Thank you for the three letters I received telling me I owe you money. I know this every month when you take your payment from my Social Security check.  You do not seem to have difficulty finding that correct social security number. I especially like the fact that each letter has a different amount to be paid.

I especially like the first letter you sent via regular snail mail. This is one that had all nine digits of my SS# as part of the address for everyone to see. The other two letters you sent via certified mail, which I had to go to the post office to obtain, had the first five numbers redacted. That means not able to be seen. This could be a reason your antiquated technology system does not recognize my SS# number as valid.

My favorite part of one of the letters is the “intent to terminate your installment payment agreement, so please pay $XXXX.31.” How in the Hell do you think terminating my installment payments is going to get your money paid in the full amount?” If you could get any more money out of me, please feel free to try – hence the package of turnips and can of greens to be delivered via UPS.

Dragons (800x530)

Dragon – How the IRS Makes Me Feel. Austin Graffiti Wall 2014 – photo by me.

Perhaps you should check the letter I returned to YOU last week like you told me to do in response to Letter # 1 saying I was already in a payment plan and to roll it over to the next year. Did that letter go to another department next door to yours?

10:09 AM – Disconnected again. Start over. Get back in line. Press 1 for English, attempt to enter SS# again. Still not valid. Just start pressing numbers and then hear this message: (I kid you not) “We are unable to answer your request. Call back another time or another day when we are less busy.”

10:30 AM – Screw it. Will go to website. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? The website lists telephone numbers to call. There is a different 800 number with an extension to call on the website.

10:31AM – Get in 800 # line again.

10:48 AM – Still on hold.

So in conclusion – To the IRS: You really think my debit of less than $1500 from an old white woman on fixed income is going to solve the National Debit Crisis?

11:00 AM – Bad Musak stops. Message: Please wait.

Then a lovely lady named Michelle comes on line. She and I talk. She gets everything taken care of and at…

11:14 AM – Problem Solved! It took 14 minutes to solve the issue after waiting in cyber hell for 30 minutes. Thank you, Michelle.

To the rest of the IRS and especially those of you in Washington D. C. – You can kiss my arrears!

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Native Texan, Politics

Tagged

Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Posted on July 15, 2016 | Leave a comment

Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Our word for today is animadversion. It is a noun meaning 1. “An unfavorable or censorious comment; to make animadversions on someone’s conduct; 2. The act of criticizing.

Let’s get our red, white and blue hats of animadversion ready for the circus that comes to Cleveland, Ohio on Monday – The Republican National Convention. This one is going to be a doozy and there promises to be many animadversions. The Presumptive Candidate will become The Candidate of the Republican Party unless all Hell breaks loose with delegates, which is still a possibility.

Mr. Trump and the Trump campaign selected Mike Pence from Indiana as his running mate. That makes the ticket Trump-Pence or trumpets. So far, Mr. Pence wins the follicle contest for having the better hair.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christi will be a featured speaker at the Convention. He was probably hoping for Veep, but perhaps now he will secure a Cabinet Post if the Republicans are victorious this fall. Maybe he will get Secretary of Transportation.

Leading the Texas delegation will be Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick. LG Patrick will be fresh off embarrassing my state at the Town Hall meeting last evening. Mr. Patrick was the only one who opening criticized the president, offered no solutions and then proceeded to look pouty the remainder of the evening. All of the other speakers asked for solutions and help. Please get well, Governor Abbott – never thought I would say that.

I see the on agenda that Benghazi will be discussed the first night of the convention. I have a few questions. Are we talking about the United States, England or Russia who has tried at Benghazi and failed over the centuries? Will this discussion of the past incidents change anything? Will you disclose how much it costs taxpayers to look backwards?

Political speeches are often (OK –always) boring. Therefore I have come up with some activities to do while watching history. Here are some drinking games to play during the boring speeches.

  1. Count the number of times a speaker dishes President Obama or Hillary Clinton. If the number is five within five minutes, do a tequila shot. If neither name has been uttered within five minutes, do tequila shot anyway.
  2. During camera pans of the audience do tequila shot each time you see a minority. Dr. Ben Carson does not count. Neither does Ted Cruz.
  3. If you live in a recreational state such as Colorado or Alaska, or if you have medical condition (and who doesn’t these days?) spark it up and pretend The Convention is a Made for TV Movie.
  4. Create a Play List for the Republican National Convention. Here. I will get you started – Send in The Clowns.
  5. Design a foreign policy for the Republican Campaign. Locating the state of Indiana does not count.

If all else fails may I suggest a movie? Rent, download or stream – A Day Without a Mexican. http://www.adaywithoutamexican.com/

One morning California wakes up to find that one third of its population has disappeared. A thick fog surrounds the State and communication outside its boundaries is completely cut off. As the day goes by we discover that the characteristic that links the 14 million disappearances is their Hispanic background.

Buenos Dias, Ya’ll!

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Leave a comment

Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , ,

June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

Posted on July 11, 2016 | 3 comments

June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

Nov 2013 2013-08-24 156 (800x530)

In case you doubt the zombie apocalypse please know one of the zombies is alive and well and lives in the Texas Lt. Governor’s body. Like many of the others who work under the current dome of doom, his brain has been missing for decades.

In the midst of the tragedy in Dallas, Dan Patrick (DP) told Fox News the protesters were hypocrites for running the opposite direction when shots rang out. I was not raised in the city, so I am not certain the protocol for when people are shooting at you in large urban areas. In the country, however, when someone is shooting at me, unless I am in the military or law enforcement I am hauling my ass the opposite direction.

The Brainless Wonder went on to blame the organization Black Lives Matter for the entire incident. Once again, I am not certain of your raising, DP, but that judgement and blaming thing does not sound too Christian.

As you tried to name the amendments you support – “Second Amendment and Freedom of Speech,” you seemed to have forgotten Freedom of Speech is not an amendment. It is one of the unalienable rights listed in the First Amendment. The First Amemendent also includes the Right to Peaceful Assembly. The First amendment also addresses freedom of Religion, Press and Petition. Oh that is correct; you zombie politicians on quote the amendents you like.

Brainless Wonder would go to say on KSKY660 AM radio that he questioned Dallas Police Chief’s decision regarding uniforms for his department. DP suggested short sleeve shirts and less body armor to appear less menacing.

In a morning radio call to KSKY/660 AM host Mark Davis, Patrick even questioned Dallas Police Chief David Brown’s choice for officers to wear their more friendly summer shirtsleeves instead of menacing body armor. http://www.star-telegram.com/opinion/opn-columns-blogs/bud-kennedy/article88612122.html

DP? Do you not have anything better to do that to tell people where to go to the bathroom and how to dress for work?

God Bless Texas and Dallas and keep your voter registration card current.

AXO wkend 2013 2013-10-06 001

Road side sign – Hearne Texas – 2014. Photo by me.

3 Comments

Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Tagged , ,

Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Posted on July 7, 2016 | Leave a comment

Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Yesterday: Brazos District Court Voir Dire

Court Clerk: “As your name is called, please take a seat in the jury box. Name # 1. Name # 2. Name # 3 DRD.” Oh crap, that is me. I was both excited and nervous.

Court Clerk “You three will be the Foreman, Secretary and Alternate Foreman. Do you have any objections?” I like that, Alternate Foreman.

Court Clerk: – Do you have any questions?

Me: “Yes, Does this honor come with a crown or sash of some sort? Perhaps a pretty name badge?” OK, I thought about it, but did not ask. It does come with $40 per day and free parking.

Nine other names and four alternates were called and seated in the jury box. The remaining people happily walked out the door. The judge then administered the oath and we all swore or affirmed we would do whatever he had just said.

We were then escorted to the third floor to meet with another lawyer to explain what we had just sworn or affirmed to do. Here is a paraphrase of his presentation.

The Grand Jury listens to cases to determine if there is sufficient evidence to proceed to a trial. The members of the GJ do not determine guilt or innocence or sentencing.

You may hear anywhere from five to fifty or more cases per day. Most of them will be felonies. You will be surprised what people will steal from Wal-Mart.

Hopefully, this will be fun and educational for you. You will learn much about the legal system. Law enforcement officials will give presentations and demonstrations. You will get to see what cocaine looks like and what marijuana smells like. Yes, Ms. Alternate Foreperson?

No, there will not be opportunities for sampling the products.

More blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda yadday and then came the question that I know was on every one’s mind. From the back of the room an older gentleman raised his hand and said, “I have to go to the bathroom a lot. Will there be breaks?” If looks were hugs this man just got a huge grand jury group hug.

Yes, you may take as many breaks as you need.

What a relief. Here’s what I’m thinking. I am about to spend the third Thursday of each month from July to December with these people. We will determine the course or direction one’s life will take. And it all Depends on the size of our respective bladders. See you in court!

Door decorations

Leave a comment

Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 – Off to Voir Dire

Posted on July 6, 2016 | Leave a comment

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 – Off to Voir Dire

Not only do I have to answer my jury summons, I have to arrive at 9:30 instead of 1:30.

Thank you to all of you sent FB MSGs and Texts suggesting ways to be dismissed.

Honorable Mention: Yoga pants, no make -up and look as though you just rolled about of bed.

And the winner is: Immediately upon entering the court house, find some-one who looks official and has a badge and gun. Walk up and say “I am here for jury duty and I’m transgendered. Where do I go to the bathroom?”

20130701_121153

Leave a comment

Posted in humor, Native Texan, Politics