Tuesday, March 19, 2019 – Monday, Monday. Can’t Trust that Day
Here’s what I’m thinking about yesterday.
Every party needs a pooper that’s why we invited you, ESPN U Suck! ESPN U Suck!
In case you missed it or do not follow sporting events, ESPNU of the ESPN family released the NCAA Division I Women’s basketball bracket on TV two hours before its scheduled time. The announcement parties on campuses were scheduled for six o’clock central standard time. The announcement on TV was at four. It was like unwrapping your Christmas present to see what it was two hours before it was time and then trying to act surprised during the actual Christmas tree. ESPNU took away the element of surprise.
While this may not seem to be at the top of the world falling apart events, it was disappointing to all teams, coaches and fans. Your premature bracket release meant that teams were denied the opportunity to be with their fans when their team’s names were called. This is special to fans and teams. Teams that have never been to the tournament were denied the opportunity to be recognized.
Because of your blunder, the program at six o’clock was pieced together (and you could tell it was). You never even showed the teams from the Chicago Region where Texas A&M is the number 4 seed. Wait, you seemed to have enough footage of Notre Dame and Muffet McGraw.
I hope the persons responsible received a good ass chewing and perhaps the opportunity to seek employment elsewhere. This was a major SNAFU for women’s’ sports. Party pooper ESPNU! RL, I hope this was not your brother.
In other news I had an appointment to see an orthopedic doctor yesterday for my knee. It, like the rest of me, is 70 years old and falling apart. I am sure you know the feeling.
But while waiting for the doctor I had plenty of time read this sign on the wall.
I found three errors. Maybe the Grammarians will find others.
Even though the sign does seem to suggest I am their only patient, it did not inspire confidence in my experience at the doctor’s office, Neither did the doctor when he said “orthoscopic surgery is the first step to a knee replacement.” I replied “Not on this knee. Thank you for the cortisone shot. I’ll get back to you. Good-bye.”
Since all things come in threes, I returned home to find a jury summons in my mail box. Monday, Monday. Can’t trust that day.
But today is Tuesday. The sun is shining. So make today a good one.
WOW; Wondering today if your going to like todays’ post. Today its national grammer day It’s the day to respectfully honor the infinatives that split, the gerunds that end in ‘ings’, and the participles that dangle. Their is going to be a lot to write about to.
Designated in 2008, the National Grammar Day was established by Martha Brockenbrough author of “Things that Make us [Sic]” (2008) and founder of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar.
So Happy Grammar Day!
Here’s to the nine common parts of speech. They are are nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions and interjections.
Here’s to the three sometimes parts of speech. They are numeral, article, or determiner.
Here’s to the 14 punctuation marks. They are the period, question mark, exclamation point, comma, semicolon, colon, dash, hyphen, parentheses, brackets, braces, apostrophes, quotation marks, and ellipsis.
Here’s to the great high school English and grammar teachers and college professors who taught us grammar.
Here’s to the specialists and the word nerds who know the ways, means and reasons why of grammar, syntax and linguistics.
Your assignment. Write at least three sentences using each part of speech at least once. For extra credit, write a paragraph using at least seven of the punctuation marks. For each additional correct use of parentheses, apostrophes and quotation marks, you get one point extra. For each correct use of brackets, braces and ellipsis you get five extra points. Does everyone understand? I’ll wait…
After you have finished, diagram each of your sentences.
Monday, February 18, 2019 – Head ‘Em Up! Move ‘Em Out!
It is trail riding time in Texas. If you, as Lyle Lovett sings,
“are not from Texas” then let me attempt an explanation. When the rodeo comes to town, everybody is fixin to be a cowboy or cowgirl. It is just a Texas thang!
To celebrate our cattle heritage and cattle drives, there are trail rides to recall when real cowboys rode the range and herded the longhorns. The granddaddy of all the rides is The Salt Grass Trail Ride. It started when some Texans got stranded in Florida due to bad weather after the 1952 Orange Bowl Football Game. Sidebars: The game was between Baylor and Georgia Tech. It was Baylor’s first bowl game and the co-champions of the SEC. (GT was in the SEC?) The Yellow Jackets won.
But back to the story. Being stranded in Florida, one Texan said “I’ll never go anywhere again without my horse” and so began the Salt Grass Trail Ride. It began as a promotion for the then called Houston Fat Stock Show and Rodeo. Trivia for Native Texans and Houstonians – where was the event held? Answer at the end.
Riding through the rich salt grass pastures, the journey begins in Cat Spring, Texas, in mid-February and winds through the countryside for 103 miles toward Houston. Participants range in age from 2 to 90, stretched out single file for the distance of a mile or so, always present a colorful picture as they go down the trail. The early Texans who pioneered our great cattle industry, despite almost overwhelming hardships, have not been forgotten. They live on in the Salt Grass Trail Ride.
What this really means for the Houston and surrounding areas is this. The weather is going to be sunny, warm, hot, cold, rainy, and miserable with as much as 40 degrees temperature ranges. It could be 85 degrees day and 45 degrees the next day. Sometimes, within the next hour of reaching a record high of 85. But that’s only one of the reasons we love Texas.
Unlike the cowboys you see in the following video, these cowpokes and their horses stop at the end of a hard day’s ride and relax in their cozy RVs and with their horses in heated horse trailers. While Willie sings “Cowboys ain’t easy to love” he also knows they ain’t stupid either.
Here’s to all the trail riders on all the rides. Be safe. God Bless you and God Bless Texas!
So head ‘em up! Move ‘em out! Who is that cute, Rowdy second cowboy in the credits? Stay for the credits if for no other reason to hear the song. You are welcome because I know you will be hearing and singing this the remainder of the day.
Answer: The Houston Fat Stock Show was held at the Sam Houston Coliseum.
Yesterday I purchased a new skillet. When I turned it over to see how to season it, I saw this in the instructions. I did not believe it at first either.
If you are having difficulty reading the before you use instructions, the sentence reads:
CAUTION: Please keep pet birds out of the kitchen. Birds’ respiratory systems are sensitive to many fumes, including the fumes of extremely overheated nonstick pans.
It immediately made me question “How was this determined?” Was there a lab experiment to determine which animals might be injured and the birds won? I have no answers. I noticed it said “Pet Birds.” So I assume that means you own multiples and that wild birds in your kitchen are okay.
I also wondered, “What about my respiratory system? What about Peach’s respiratory system?”
I apologize for the brevity of today. I am cooking chicken in my new skillet and must go tend to it.
Stop now if you think this is going to have a religious tint. I’m just paraphrasing Scarlett O for the introduction.
As God is my witness I have never done blackface. Even years ago we knew it was wrong. However, there was that one time when I applied black shoe polish to my face.
I was 12 and my Halloween costume was blue jeans, a horizontally striped black and white t-shirt, a black velvet beret, and bongo drums. Where in the confines of Magnolia, Texas I found bongo drums I do not recall. I applied a generous amount of black Kiwi Shoe Polish to create – ala resembles – a goatee set of facial hair. I am certain I created an interesting site since I was still wearing bronze looking, cat-eye glasses (with sequins.)
I recall being with another person who had on a similar costume – sans faux facial hair. It was probably Mollie H., but could have been Karen No Facebook. Here are some questions you should be asking yourselves.
• What in the world were you dressed as? We had to explain with every opening door. When the door opened one of us would say “You rang?” or “We are beatniks!” Then I would beat on the bongos a few times and one of us would say “Can you dig it? The other would say “We are cool cats.” Most people just looked at us in a mild state of confusion, but we still got candy. Then we’d leave with a “Thanks Daddy-O.”
• Bonus question for Colfax, Louisiana readers – Where did you get a black velvet beret? From one of Myrtle’s boxes. Remember those?
• How did two 12 year old girls in Magnolia, Texas even know what a beatnik was? You got me. Probably same place I borrowed the bongos.
• Your mothers let you go out like that? Yep. In fact one of them probably drove us Trick or Treating.
• What year was this? 1961 – The upside down year.
• Was this your last year to dress like a beatnik and go Trick or Treating? Yes. And after my first year in college I had moved to a full-fledged, tie-dyed, bell-bottom wearing hippie. Ya’ll should have seen that coming when I was 12. Groovy, huh? Peace out!
Friday, January 11, 2019 – You Will Be Assimilated
Captain’s Log 01.11.2019 – Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. Wait. That is the Borg. We are not going to Delta Quadrant. Who is driving this Starship? We need to change course and warp speed to Septar Quadrant. That is where the Septuagenarians live. At 12:30 AM on Sunday, January 13, I will be assimilated into that decade.
Here is to all of the birth anniversaries born under the sign of Capricorn. Belated birthday wishes to Carol L. and RL on the 6th and 10th respectively. Tomorrow, January 12 we celebrate Molly and Dale and Carol M. days of birth.
Me and Molly Harper Fowler on our 13th birthdays. I do not know if there is a name for a Baptist and Methodist girl when she turns 13.
Then on Sunday, the lovely birthday girls, include, but is not limited to, me, Carolyn Sue, Nova and Debbie F. We all share the day of celebration.
We all invite you to celebrate with all the January birthdays while tapping your toes to another January BD – The Great Earl Scruggs born on Jan 6. I think Foggy Mountain Breakdown is appropriate for us. Don’t you? Engage! Warp Speed to Septar Quadrant.
Wednesday, January 2, 2019 – And Then There Was One
One college football game left. Roll Tide.
Congratulations to LSU, Oklahoma State, Ohio State, and Kentucky on their bowl wins. To any fans from Pennsylvania, your teams must win their bowl games before they are mentioned.
Congratulations to THE University of Texas for their win over Georgia in the Sugar Bowl 28-21. This game was over when Bevo decided to have a pregame snack of an UGA Hot Dawg. Try that with the Miss Reveille, Bevo and you’ll be a steak.
To Georgia: What the hell? The next time you play a major bowl against a major team, may I suggest the following:
Bring your head to the game
Take your head out of your nether region
Use your head to play football
Do not underestimate a good team. Almost beating Alabama does not end the season.
Do not embarrass the SEC. Texas marched through you like Sherman! The tank, not the general.
To The University, again congratulations. It does indeed appear that The University (TU) is back to original form.
To the mouths talking in the booth last night and everyone else who was a booth mouth during the bowl games:
Call the damn football game!
Learn the name of the team – it is Oklahoma State or OSU – NOT OKState. You should have known that before your Twitter account exploded from the Oklahoma State fans.
No one cares how you played when you were playing.
No one cares what play you would have called.
No one really cares about your opinions on anything.
You do not need to give me the players/coaches profile from day one of their lives.
You do not have to fill then entire time between plays with mindless chatter.
I heard you the first time. And the second and probably the third time you repeated and/or rephrased what you just said.
Please do not refer to Sam Ehlinger as similar to Tim Tebow or anybody else. He is the pride and hope of The University of Texas and he is like Sam Ehlinger.
Next year go interview Bevo before the game. Maybe he will show you how the cow ate the New Year’s cabbage.
Only one more football game so it is time to move on to the bouncing round ball. Guess who has a ticket tomorrow night for Baylor and UCONN? See you, Geno!
Tuesday, January 1, 2019 – Happy Whooping New Year!
Well, Skit. Skat. And how bout that?
How about them Aggies? Chomp. Chomp. What away to start a new year!
Congratulations to The Texas Aggie Football team, Coach Jimbo Fisher and Traveon Williams for a great game. Record setting runs for Traveon.
What a game for Cullen Gillespia? The epitome of The Twelfth Man.
Jimbo’s first year: 9 wins and four losses. Losses to Clemson by two and Alabama was scared. Time ran out against Mississippi State and Auburn. And then there was the LSU game followed by a convincing Gator Bowl victory. Not bad, Jimbo.
The final result? As many Aggie shirts now read:
It’s not the way it used to be!
WHOOP!
But that was last year. Today I have on my LSU Tiger T-shirt. It is the formal one with the mardi gras bead design. GEAUX TIGERS!
I am headed to have the traditional New Year’s black eyed peas and cornbread and New Year’s Day football watching. Speaking of Day, here’s to my friend Kathy who achieved a bucket list item today– Seeing Ohio State play in the Rose Bowl. I’ll watch for you KD. Please wave to me and Ms. Navasota.
Here's What I'm Thinking 