Tuesday, May 16, 2017 – As You Watch History in Real Time or Three for Three
The Constitution of the United States
Article II – The Executive Branch. Section 4 – Disqualification
The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.
Saturday, May 13, 2017 – May 1951 – Really, Mama? Sawmill Bridge. Sawmill Road. Happy Mother’s Day.
Check out this photograph of Mama and Baby.
Mama has on her sandal stacked heels. Pretty sure purse is hanging on other arm. Baby still has on white high baby top shoes.
Mama has on coat. Baby has on what I hope is a coat. Otherwise, Baby is cold.
Mama has permed, wavy hair. Baby has Barber Clark Buster Brown haircut.
Mama does not look happy at husband taking photograph. Baby is waving to her daddy, Honeyboy taking picture.
Mama looks like Niece # 2 – Deann. Baby looks like Great Niece #4 – Brooke. Baby would not look like Great Niece # 1 Kristen until later.
Mama and Baby are both standing on a Grogan Cochran sawmill bridge with sawmill road in background. The forests around Magnolia, Texas were once filled with roads such as this one. I am pretty certain this form of transportation was not OSHA or Tx DOT approved.
Happy Mother’s Day, Mama. Miss you!
Posted in humor, Misc., Native Texan
Friday, May 12, 2017 – Good Morning, Comrades.
Good Morning, Comrades. Grandma Babushka here – substituting for whoever is supposed to be doing this. In former Soviet Union I was great educator, but sent to Red Siberia. Now come to America like an immigrant. I am now janitor and was cleaning up in hallway of White House when asked to read this to you while man hide in bushes.
“Special Welcome to Boris and Natasha and evil spy from Spy vs Spy in Mad Magazine. (Source: Newman, Alfred E., Mad Magazine.) On behalf of Moose and Squirrel I want to welcome you to The White House Press Room. Have picture for you of Big Bull Moose doing what he does best.
Moose marking his territory for winter. Alaska 2014. Photo by me. Kenai Peninsula.
New T-shirts and hats for you with Moose picture on front and says – Make America Great Again. This time in Cyrillic letters.”
All for now. Must go clean up more after Moose in White House.
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics
Tagged Bullwinkle and Rocky, Donald Trump, Mad Magazine, Russians, spy vs spy, White House Press Room
Thursday, May 11, 2017 – IT Cannot Come Soon Enough. When Does It Begin?
I am so over these governmental, constitutional, and foreign crises I am just going to get under my desk, put my hands over my head and wait for IT. I do not know what “IT” will be, but probably something out of the Stephen King novel.
Therefore, I am leaving the “What Have You Done Now?” story of whoever is in charge of the country and moving on to happy thoughts. At least for now.
When does NCAA College football start?
WARNING TO ALABAMA FANS – Be prepared before clicking on the link below. The header is Clemson. Just Roll on past it.
http://www.ncaa.com/news/football/article/2017-03-16/when-does-2017-college-football-season-start
College football season begins at the end of August. Not soon enough. Why are Rice and Stanford playing in Australia? Perhaps it is The Smarty Pants Bowl. Ooh that sounds like a potty training product. Let’s call it The Intellectual Property Rights Bowl.
ICYMI – Over 10,000 Texas Aggies will graduate and become Former Students this weekend. Remember: We are The Aggies; The Aggies are we. And
We Are Fearless!
September 2 – BTHO UCLA!
Posted in College Football, Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics, Texas Aggies
Wednesday, May 10, 2017 – Human Anatomy and Political Science
Good Morning, Class,
Today our class is interdisciplinary content delivery of human anatomy and political science.
But first, our anticipatory set. Thank you, Saint Madeline Hunter, Patron Saint of Education.
What do a cluster of old white men politicians know about a woman’s human anatomy?
While you are trying to think of something, here’s what I’m thinking:
First of all every member on the Senate health care committee should experience a monthly period for at least a year. Included are, but not limited to: debilitating abdominal cramps, bloating, mood swings, and all of the other body changes that occur during that time of the month.
Second – every member of the Senate health care committee should experience a mammogram. Only then can they experience the delight of a garage door closing on their breast.
This should be followed by a complete pelvic exam. Men complain about a prostate exam. How about a piece of metal stuck up your Go-go!
Then I think you should be pregnant for nine months with the ensuing hormonal changes and a delivery of the baby.
And last but not least I think each and every one of you on the Senate Committee promising to revise the House of Representatives pyric victory regarding health care should:
Go through a long, painful and agonizing menopause!
I am thinking you Bale of Turtles on the current Senate Committee should get some people with woman body parts on this committee or you are going to be clueless about the backlash and it looks like an uphill climb to me.
Hole 14 – Briar Crest Golf Club. Bryan, Texas. Photo by me.
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics
Tuesday, May 9, 2017 – When the Quote Comes Back to Haunt You
Good Morning Class,
Today we will examine four quotations. Two quotes are from previous presidents of the United States; one is from a high ranking US government official and one is from the current president, Donald Trumpet. Note: the last quote was said during the campaign, but seems to be applicable to any situation and issue today.
Your assignment is to complete your predicted result by filling in the blank for quote number four.
Ready?
Monday, May 8, 2017 – Teacher Appreciation Week and More from the Pen of the Governor.
The Governor of Texas, Abbot sans Costello, designated the week of May 8 – 12 as Teacher Appreciation Week. So if you are reading this, then thank a teacher and tell them how much you appreciated them. For Extra Credit: Count the number of pencils in the picture.
Of course Abbot sans Costello also signed Senate Bill 4 into law in a secret ceremony live on Facebook. SB 4 is known as “the sanctuary city bill.” In Spanish it means “show us your papers” while we check your immigration status.
Here’s what I’m thinking. If you are a teacher of color or do not have Born in the USA (Thank you, Bruce Springsteen) on your birth certificate, I am not sure how appreciated you are going to feel.
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics
Tagged Greg Abbott, humor, sanctuary cities, Teacher Appreciation Week, Texas SB 4
Thursday, May 4, 2017 – May the Fourth Be With You. Cinco de Mayo Primer
Here’s what I’m thinking today. As the scary Orange Vader from the Dark continues to usurp power from the Ordinaries, formerly known as Voters, our tales of Starless Wars continue.
Good opening, don’t you think? Today is celebrate Star Wars day. I am certain this next statement will get me removed from The Big Bang Theory fan club. I prefer Star Trek over Star Wars. And I like The Next Generation. Of course it has to do with a better looking crew, but I also identified with the empath, Commander Deanna Troi. Of course it was Commander Troi who crashed the space ship in the movie.
Tomorrow promises to be mucho more fun – the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. Since this question comes every year at this time, I shall now provide you with some responses and just enough history of the holiday for the first round of drinks. This will come in handy when you are celebrating when someone asks, “What is Cinco de Mayo?”
It is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day. That date is September 16 when the country celebrates its independence from Spain. Cinco de Mayo celebrates the victory of the Mexican army over the French army at the 1862 Battle of Puebla. I am sure the US would sent troops to help had Orange Vader been successful in time travel and in preventing the engagement the US was involved in during 1862,
The day is not that popular in Mexico and began in California during the time of The American Civil war with Americans of Mexican descent hoping to raise money for Mexico’s troops and independence effort.
The celebration of the day began in the 1970’s and 1980’s when American beer companies began targeting and marketing to the Spanish speaking population.
In conclusion Cinco de Mayo is pretty much an American day of celebration originating with a commercial interest. Forbes estimates that 80 million pounds of avocadoes are consumed on this day in The United States.
How does Orange Vader plan to get that amount of avocadoes over The Wall?
Oh well, Wait Staff Person? Another round please. One frozen, no salt. One on the rocks with salt. Two Dos Equis. One Corona. Donde esta el bano?
Photo by me. January 15, 1991. Inauguration of Governor Ann Richards.
Info taken from: http://www.ajc.com/news/local/facts-about-cinco-mayo-you-should-know-but-probably-don/pY6RsKLlc02fUMjur3M0PO/
Fiza Pirani The Atlanta Journal-Constitution 3:50 p.m Tuesday, May 2, 2017 National/World News
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan, Politics
Tagged Cinco de Mayo, Donald Trump, history, humor, satire, The Wall
Wednesday, May 3, 2017 – Let’s Make a Deal
The Bogus Potus said he could have cut a deal and avoided The Civil War. What might that deal have looked like?”
Would you have let the Southern states secede to continue “whupping slaves and selling cotton and waiting on the Robert E. Lee?” (Tom Lehrer – I Wanna Go Back to Dixie 1966.)
Lafayette, Louisiana – photo by me. 4.30.2017
Would you have telegraphed (social media of the day) at 3:00 AM that all of the states must have railroads? Of course you would have financial investments in most of the railroad companies.
Would you build a wall to keep the north and south separated? After all, that Mason-Dixon thing was just a line and not a real wall.
Perhaps you would have sent federal troops declaring war on South Carolina as your crony Andrew Jackson did when South Carolina tried to leave the Union during the Nullification Crisis.
Or maybe since you admire Jackson so much you would continue the destruction of an entire race, culture and civilization of a people in order to grab their land.
Maybe you would build a wall and put all of the Native Americans behind it.
Why are we even talking about this? Alternative history is fun to discuss, but unless I am mistaken, The American Civil War officially ended in 1865. Of course the resulting culture wars continue.
If Bogus Potus likes to think he could have cut a deal to avoid The Civil War, why not go further back in history and give the city of New Orleans to the British and you could have avoided the War of 1812?
Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a damn about how you could have done anything in the past to avoid war. I am concerned about what you are going to do in the present to avoid war – whether foreign or civil or cultural?
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan
Monday, May 1, 2017 – Mayday! Ring Around the May Pole. My First 100 Days
Good Morning, Boys and Girls.
It is the first day of May. May Day should not be confused with “Mayday.” Nor should it be confused with the May Pole. They are both Republican traditions that date back for centuries. (FYI – that is fake news.)
First: Mayday
Today I found out why those aboard planes and ships use the word “Mayday” to indicate they are in extreme distress.
In 1923, a senior radio officer, Frederick Stanley Mockford, in Croydon Airport in London, England was asked to think of one word that would be easy to understand for all pilots and ground staff in the event of an emergency.
The problem had arisen as voice radio communication slowly became more common, so an equivalent to the Morse code SOS distress signal was needed. Obviously a word like “help” wasn’t a good choice for English speakers because it could be used in normal conversations where no one was in distress.
At the time Mockford was considering the request, much of the traffic he was dealing with was between Croydon and Le Bourget Airport in Paris, France. With both the French and English languages in mind, he came up with the somewhat unique word “Mayday”, the anglicized spelling of the French pronunciation of the word “m’aider” which means “help me”.
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/01/planes-ships-used-word-mayday-distress/
Second: The May Pole Dance – This is the origin of pole dancing in America. (FYI – That is also fake-news.)
Puritan Dude pointing out immoral behavior of crew when alcohol is served. Origin of gentlemen’s clubs and judging evangelicals. (FYI – Altered Facts.)
http://time.com/4305252/controversial-maypole-history/
Three: My First 100 Days
Due to space limitations and Sean Spicer’s inability to speak coherently, I shall limit my accomplishments to just the really big; BIG! Big numbers, real good; awesome; major; best days in history of America: all about me.
During My First 100 Days, I have not:
Angered the entire free world, including the historical allies
Really angered the most dangerous nation in the world
Berated the press and all media
Given fake-news or altered facts on national TV or anywhere else
Put my feet on the couch in the Oval Office
Tweeted diplomatic policies at 3:00 AM. Although I usually go to the bathroom about that time, but I am not tweeting.
Accused anybody of wire-tapping my office or spying on me through my microwave
Appointed someone with less credentials than my cat who wants to privatized the public education system
Had a beautiful piece of chocolate cake while sitting across from a foreign leader while sending Tomahawk missiles into a country
Played golf as many times as the potus, but probably played better
Neither have I accomplished any legislation.
Of course I could go on and on because I am so wonderful. Really, really good. Awesome. Best Ever. They like me! They really like me!
So our words/phrases for today are: MAYDAY x 3. May Pole Dancing. And the first 100 Days. What does those words have in common? Trumpet up.
Posted in Education, humor, Misc., Native Texan
Tagged Bets, Donald Trump, humor, Kellyanne Conway, politics, satire
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