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Monday, September 18, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Three

Posted on September 18, 2023 | 1 comment

Monday, September 18, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards – Week Three

It was a most interesting weekend. Some teams played cupcake teams and the cupcakes got their next year’s athletic budgets. Some teams that were supposed to be cupcakes turned up to be real teams. Some teams began conference play while others still had a few warm up games.

Let’s start with the elephant in the room. To Alabama, you receive The Sink Hole Award. I thought of another four letter word that begins with “S” and also has the letter “I” in it, but I decided to keep it clean. This award is followed by The Rumors Abounding Award – Nick Saban is retiring and Deion Sanders will be the next coach of the TIDE. Not making that up. Plus Manning rumors of transfer. Arch Manning is not coming to Alabama. At least not yet. Alabama 17 and South Florida 3.

The Umbrella Awards go to Alabama, Baylor and Texas A&M for the rain delays. While the rains did bring the Tide to roll, ugly as it was, Baylor thought it was a baptism, so they returned to defeat Long Island 30 to 7. And there was no impact from the rains on the Aggies because the start of the game was delayed. Other than other than a few quarters added to the BSSJ for the delays.

Blow Out Awards go to OU, Tortilla Tech and Texas A&M for their victories of OU 66 – Tulsa 17, Tech 41 Tarleton State 3, and Texas A&M 47 and ULAMO 3.

To U of H coach Dana, I award The CCR Award because I See a Bad Moon Rising. University of Houston 13 – TCU 36.

Georgia? Please step forward and receive your Poopy Undies Award and The Alarm Clock Award for waking up in the second half of the game. Bulldogs 24 South Carolina Gamecocks 14.

LSU? Your award this week is the Bayou Rising Award by defeatingMississippi State 41 to 14. Because the Big Solid Swear Jar already had $2.00 by half time, I did not watch the second half.

Tennessee may pick up their Pepto Bismal trophy for being upset by Florida. Rocky Flopped on this one! Vols 15-Florida 29.

The award for Best Crossover Sports goes to: A tie between Tennessee and Florida and Colorado and Colorado State. Both teams displayed fighting skills before and after the games.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas and Wyoming. I award the Horns the Well-Played Award. Wyoming Cowboys offered you a little bit of competition – 31 to 10. Probably the most competition you will receive in the Big 12 if you can get past OU!

The Best Game of the Week Award goes to Colorado and Colorado State – Throwing shade a few days before, a fight before kick-off, tying the game on the last play of regulation, double OT with a Colorado win 43 to 35- what a great game! I wish I did not sleep through it.! I think the Buffaloes are real.

The Best Play of the Weekend goes to Missouri for a 61 yard field walk off goal to defeat Kansas State 30 to 27.

The Best Kick in Football goes to: Watch closely. This game is between two small high school in Waco. The kick, with no goal post netting, goes through the uprights and into the window of a passing car.

https://www.si.com/high-school/2023/09/16/extra-point-kick-sailing-into-open-window-passing-car-best-thing-video

Stay safe. Stay strong and be kind to people.

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, humor, LSU, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas

Friday, September 15, 2023 – Snark on Medians and Snarky Friday Football

Posted on September 15, 2023 | 2 comments

Friday, September 15, 2023 – Snark on Medians and Snarky Friday Football

Let us begin and snark out on The Median that Stole Christmas. Somewhere, some transportation medium minds decided to install medians with turn lanes on all of the major roads that connect and intersect in Bryan and College Station.

This means I have to go two blocks beyond my dentist office, turn left, go through two parking lots, cross a street, go through another parking lot and then go down a back alley to get to my dentist’s office. This is all because the left turn that was once right in front of the dentist office is now an uncrossable median.

But wait! Because there are now medians all along Texas Avenue connecting College Station to Bryan, it means the 93^rd year old tradition of a BCS Christmas parade will not happen in 2023. The floats and other parade stuff (marching bands, drill teams, horses, etc.) CANNOT maneuver the medians. Bah Humbug!

But floating on to my football games for week three. I am so confused. Who’s on First? I have not heard of these teams. It’s another Cupcake Weekend.

The 11:00 am hour begins with Long Island in Waco playing Baylor on Big12. I thought long island was a type of alcoholic tea. But given the way Baylor is playing, they might not be able to beat their way out of a tea bag.

Florida State plays Boston College at 11:00 on ABC. I so enjoy teams with the same colored uniforms. This should be a blow out unless there is a Flutie resurgence.

There is an 11:00 game that might be worth watching. On ESPN LSU meets Mississippi State in Starkville. Come on Big Solid Awards! Sorry, CSE, I have to go with Bulldogs and maroon and white.

Moving through the day, at 2:30 on CBS Georgia continues to sleep walk against South Carolina. And Alabama tries to regroup from last week and plays the women’s hockey team from Our Lady of the Swamp Academy. Actually, the TIDE plays South Florida. Bama? Do not make me give you a Grocery Award for the number of sacks this week.

Oklahoma plays Tulsa at 2:30 on ESPN2. Boomer Sooner Cupcake? Who knows.

My game at 9:00 will be a Rocky Mountain Showdown between Colorado State and Colorado Deion. Shedeur not want to piss off Colorado. Oops, too late. One more game and the Buffaloes might be real.

The evening games begin with Tarleton State (aka Little Aggies) against Tortilla Tech in Lubbock at 6:00 on some network I do not get. I would love to have the income from the number of Wrangler wearing and Roper stompers that will be at this game. Lots of cowboys and cowgirls from both sides. This game will fund Tarleton’s entire athletic budget. FYI – Tarleton is a really cool little school. It has a secret organization named Purple Poo! How cool is that?

Speaking of purple poo, TCU and the U of Houston might be fun to watch at 7:00 on Fox. Coaches’ seats are warming up for both sides. Dana? Rice? You lost to Rice?

Speaking of cowboys the University of Wyoming visits Austin and THE UNIVERSITY of Texas. My prediction – TU will win big against a much inferior team. Then they will scream and hoot and holler again about how good they are. DA will post several memes on FB to irritate me but will make me laugh. In spite of a large victory margin, there will be no Manning the ship this week.

And now, the Game of the Week. Texas A&M University versus the University of Louisiana at Monroe – ULAMO! This game is at 3:00 on the SECN.

A little about the opponent. It was founded in 1931 as “the state’s most attractive bayou school.” Pretty much lost me at bayou. It was called Ouachita Parish Junior College until three years later when the legislature renamed it the University of North Center of Louisiana State University. While I am not certain but this could have been done because no one could pronounce Ouachita and it sounds like a banana.

In 1939 it was renamed Northeast Junior College to LSU. It pretty much remained that way until 1950 when it became a four year college named Northeast Louisiana State College. In 1969 it was renamed Northeast Louisiana University. And finally in 1999 it was renamed the University of Louisiana at Monroe or ULAMO. Actually I just snarked the ULAMO label.

Prominent alumni are the country-western singer, Tim McGraw and the Alabama women’s basketball coach, Kristy Curry – a really good coach! And also one of those Duck Dynasty fellows. I do not know which one because they all look alike. Plus, I was shocked that one of them is a college graduate.

The school’s mascot is Ace the Warhawk. As you can see it is another anthropomorphic character or a person in a bird outfit.

An interesting factoid about ULM is that since 1979 the schools has won 28 National Collegiate Water Skiing Championships. Is this like equestrian sports where you must bring your own horse. Do you have to bring your own boat?

This is school that has an enrollment of 6929 undergraduates. HWIT, there are probably that many undergrads in all of the A&M athletics programs combined. And that includes the quidditch team and intramurals.

Therefore, HWIT – Jimbo/Bobby! I want to see everybody play and everybody score. I want a special teams’ score and a defensive score. I want lots of offensive scores! I want the score with two minutes remaining to be so large over ULAMO, that a 75 year old woman, with a hip replacement could run a play. Remember Appalachian State!. If this is not a supreme blow out, then the Big Solid Swear Jar will go to the BUYOUT!

And don’t forget you got more war fowls flying in next week.

BTHO ULAMO!

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, Colorado, Deion Sanders, humor, LSU, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, Texas Tech, The University of Texas

Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on September 11, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

But first, let us remember where you were on this day in 2001! Long ago, yet yesterday and today. RIP those who sacrificed. You are not forgotten.

And now Week Two of my weekly awards …

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts; mutilated monkey feet, little dirty birdy feet…

And that is how it was, Sports fans! Here’s What I’m Thinking.

What a crappy college football weekend!. Everybody gets a Poopy Undies Award! Pick those up at Port-a-Potties zero through 10 on the west side of the building on your way out.

Nevertheless, will my award teams please come forward for your awards?

LSU? Step back, you are not getting an award for winning 72 to10. But I’m pretty sure you lost the half-time to the Grambling Band.

To THE UNIVERSITY of Texas, I award a Great Win, BUT Trophy. Yes, you beat a really crappy Alabama team 34 to 24 for two wins in a row. But do not rest on your laurels. You still have the Big 12 season but given the playing of the other teams from Texas this weekend, you could end up playing Kansas for the Championship. So I also award the Longhorns, the I’ll Check Back in October Award. To Alabama, I award The Elephant Never Forgets Trophy. It comes with a listing of available portal quarterbacks.

To Baylor, I award the God Heard What You Said in the Final Minutes. He also heard when we all screamed PASS INTERFERENCE on the so-called last play. Utah 20 Baylor 13

To the Rice University Owls who defeated their cross gang rivals the University of Houston 43 to 41 in double OT, I award The Hooters Award. What a difference a Daniels makes? With Covid, redshirts, medical redshirts, some of these players will be assistant professors before they finally use up their eligibility. Seriously, by the time I had 8 years of college I had half of a PhD.

To the Prime Time Wonder Boys of Colorado, I award the I’m Still Not Convinced Award. Colorado 36 Nebraska 14

To Mississippi State, I award not one, but two Big Solid Silver Awards to the team and to the young man who intercepted two passes. Sidebar: A few have asked about Big Solid. Big Solid (Larry) played linebacker for Mississippi State. His claim to fame (among many) was intercepting a pass from Joe Namath and running it back for a touchdown. Big Solid and his lovely Sweet Potato Queen wife, Janne, always read HWIT football and he always loved when he was mentioned. Big Solid passed away this spring so I decided to honor him with as many mentions as I can. A Big Solid Award goes to a linebacker who intercepts and scores. A Big Solid Silver goes to an interception by a linebacker from Mississippi State. And a Big Solid Gold will go to a Mississippi State linebacker who intercepts and scores a touchdown. I hope I got that right, Janne. Oh yes, Mississippi State 31 Arizona 24 in OT.

Even though I never met Big Solid I believe we shared common adjectives for describing plays, teams, tackles, passes, coaches, announcers, commercials for our respective teams and others. Therefore this year I have instituted The Big Solid Swear Jar. I thought about making various coins for various words, but just said, “F-that”, everything gets a quarter. Last week, the BSSJ had $1.00. This week I just threw in two roll of quarters at the end of the TU/Tide game. That is $20 or 80 quarters.

However, most of those coins were put (thrown) in the jar during the Texas A&M/Miami game. Miami 48 Texas A&M 33. The Aggies get the Moon over Miami Award for getting their asses whipped. To Jimbo and Bobby I award The Climate Change Award because your seats are getting warmer! To the Fighting Aggie Team, READY! AIM! FIRE! RELOAD! WHOOP! Stay Calm and Gig ‘Em!

Pray for rain. Pray for peace.

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Tagged Alabama, Alabama football, Baylor, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, humor, LSU, Mississippi State, Texas A&M, Texas Aggies, The University of Texas, UT football

Friday, September 8, 2023 – Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Posted on September 8, 2023 | 4 comments

Friday, September 8, 2023 – Snarky Sarky Friday Week Two

Sorry for the delay in posting today’s Here’s What I’m Thinking. I was day drinking and celebrating the life of Jimmy Buffett. Consider it a warm up exercise for tomorrow.

The second week begins with more bit more excitement. The morning begins with several “Saturday Errand Games.” Go run the usual Saturday morning errands because few of these games offer much in the way of competition.

Georgia and Ball State play at 11:00 on SECN. Another cupcake game for Georgia. What if all of Georgia’s games are cupcakes? Is UGA good enough for a threepeat?

On ESPN the Bears from Baylor try to resurrect game and perhaps season when they welcome My Cousin Vinny’s Two Utes from Utah at 11:00. Sadly, this could be just downright ugly in Waco and on TV too.

If neither one of those games interest you, the game on Fox at 11:00 just might. We have the Nebraska Cornhuskers and the Colorado Buffalos. I do love a big hat in the shape of a giant yellow corn cob. We get to see if Prime Time is real or was TCU just a fluke and an adrenaline rush.

A game of mild interest is Arizona and Mississippi State on SECN at 6:30. Hail State! Have Big Solid Swear Jar ready.

A most interesting game might be between Ole Miss and Tulane on ESPN2 at 2:30. I would love to see Weird Giffen’s face if Tulane wins. But Hoddy Toddy, Cutbirth Faulkner, Ole Miss!

But THE game of the afternoon is the 2:30 game on ESPN between Texas A&M at the University of Miami. Let’s get acquainted with the opposition.

First of all Miami University is not the same as the University of Miami. One is in Ohio and the other is in Coral Cables, Florida. This is one of which I speak and who the Aggies play.

The University of Miami was founded in 1925. In 1926 a hurricane destroyed most of what little was built. The classes were moved into The Anastasia Building and was used for temporary classes. For a period of time UM was called The Cardboard College.

The “U” as it is known is a private university known for exceedingly difficult entry as an undergrad (27 of 100 admitted) and as a powerhouse for research for graduates (a doctoral delight.). The game will be played in the Hard Rock Stadium which is 21 miles from Coral Cables. HWIT, if the U is so damn smart why is the stadium 30 minutes away? Also, it is a small stadium with capacity at only 69,000. That is numerous Friday night tailgate parties and Midnight Yell in College Station.

Also the Hurricanes are offering a BOGO to try to fill the stadium. Buy a ticket to the UMiami game and get a free ticket to the Georgia Tech game.

The team name is the “Hurricanes” and the team mascot is an anthropomorphic character named Sebastian the Ibis. Yeah, I thought it was a duck also.

An ibis is a water wading bird. Folklore maintains that the Ibis, a symbol of knowledge found in the Everglades and Egypt, is the last sign of wildlife to take shelter before a hurricane and the first to reappear after the storm.

This game is definitely the litmus test for both universities. So glad I have practiced day drinking.

But THE GAME is at 6:00 on ESPN when The Alabama Crimson Tide hosts THE University of Texas Longhorns in Tuscaloosa. Given that Guest Picker for Game Day from Tuscaloosa is Joe Namath, I have already deposited a dollar in the Big Solid Swear Jar before the start of the game.

I understand Alabama is repaying the band favor and having the Longhorn band sit in Sections 101 through 102 in the neighboring county.

HWIT, One in a row, TU, does not make you a member of the SEC. I hope there will be payback for the yells from last year when the Horns yelled something about a duck and you and Saban during a TV interview. Perhaps they were thinking of the insurance commercial. I am thinking similar sounding adjectives for THE University. ROLL TIDE! I don’t care if you are on the one yard line with one second left in the game and a 49 point lead. Run the score up Bevo’s butt!

BTHO UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI!

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Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

Posted on September 4, 2023 | 2 comments

Monday, September 4, 2023 – My Labor Day Monday After College Football Awards

What wonderful weekend for college football lovers. So many games. So many teams. So much money. Here are the first Monday awards for this season.

The Award for the Most Frequently Heard Word during the football games this weekend… It is a tie between “transfer” and “portal.”

Our first team award today is the Convincing Award. Will all of the teams that scored 40 points or more in a convincing win against their cupcake team, please pick up your trophy at the desk?

Whatsamatta U aka THE University of Texas may pick their Certificate of Participation off the printer in the next room. Horns? You scored 37 points and YOU PLAYED RICE! Vanderbilt scored more points! This was supposed to be a cupcake game, even though Rice certainly does not need the money.

However, I do award the Needs Improvement Award to THE University of Texas. Note: A lot of improvement before heading to Tuscaloosa and addressing the elephant in the room.

Also receiving a Need Improvement Certificate is Baylor. Really? Texas State Bobcats in Waco? Baylor may need more improvement that TU. Is that stadium paid for yet?

The Award for I Told You So goes to Colorado and Coach Prime. That was most fun to watch. While the game was indeed an offensive spectacular, it remains to be seen if Deion’s method of releasing all previous 80 players and selecting through the portal works.

I award TCU with the Chad and Jeremy Award for That was Yesterday and Yesterday’s Gone. Just because you participated in last’s year’s National Championship Game does not mean it should be mentioned as your laurels – especially given the way you played. Are you paying attention, future TCU announcers?

All of the teams in The Cupcake Games may pick up their entire 2024 Athletic Budget checks at the Exit Gate marked $$$. New Mexico received 1.6 million from Texas A&M. These include, but are not limited to UMass, MTST, UNM, Ark State. SE Louisiana, Mercer and Texas State. The Men’s and Women’s LaCross teams thank you.

The Best Uniform Award goes the University of Houston for their throw back Houston Oilers, Love Ya, Blue uniforms.

The Ugly Uniform Award goes to Wyoming. The yellow is ok, but it is the bovine doo doo brown that is the issue. It should be against NCAA regulations for a school to have brown as a color. Especially if the numbers are in Saloon Font. However ugly the uniforms were , they did look nice in the second OT and beating Tortilla Tech.

And last…Certainly not to be blasé, but LSU? What the Hell happened last night? At times you looked like Wyoming’s bovine doo doo brown! I would never cheer for Florida State. I know the rules – Never cheer for a team from Florida! Therefore, LSU receives the Get It Together Award.

Big Solid Swear Jar – Week One – $1.75 – All LSU fault!

Enjoy Labor Day. Pray for rain.

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Tagged Alabama, Baylor, college football, humor, LSU football, Texas A&M, The University of Texas

Friday, September 1, 2023 – The Official Season of Snarky Friday Kicks-Off

Posted on September 1, 2023 | 1 comment

Friday, September 1, 2023 – The Official Season of Snarky Friday Kicks-Off

Tomorrow is the kick-off for NCAA Division I Football season. I know there were games yesterday, but I’m saving my Florida Alligator and Utah Two Utes for later. But dang, the two UTES looked good!

Obviously I am excited to see Texas A&M in our Redemption Year. The Texas Aggies play the New Mexico Lobos in Kyle Field at 6:00 on ESPN.

What? What’s a lobo? It’s a wolf. Where wolf? There wolf? What? There wolf! There Castle.

Game time temperatures will hover around 102 degrees, but feels like you are stuck on the sun. It was brutal back in the day and that was just sun in your face and reasonable September temperatures of 95 degrees and 1,000,000 plus fewer sweat-sharing bodies standing and swaying during War Hymn.

Tailgaters will be copping their spots today and tomorrow. No need for stoves. Just set those hot dogs in an aluminum pan and place on the sidewalk in the sun for sizzling.

It is important to hydrate. Start hydrating the night before! We Aggies do. It is called Midnight Yell Practice. Continue to hydrate during the day. We do. We drink watered down, but ice cold Coors Beer from our new beer vendor. Stay hydrated during the game and drink our other new sponsor, Modelo. Seriously, it will be brutal out there.

But I am ready to Beat the Hell Out of New Mexico! I got my damnit doll. I got my – new this year -Big Solid Swearing Jar, and my Remember Appalachian State t-shirt rag!

But before the Aggies there are those 11:00 AM Bloody Mary Morning games.

At 11:00 Virginia is at UT (Not YOU Texas!) in Nashville on ABC. The Vols also get Game Day. Watch for ugly, orange uniforms and checkerboard end zones. Rocky Top might just be a top this year.

Also at 11:00 there is Ball State and Kentucky on the SEC Network.

OU plays Arkansas State on ESPN @ 11:00. And Baylor plays Texas State in their cupcake games.

At 2:30 UMass plays Auburn on ESPN. Wait? The same UMASS that just won it’s first opening football game since the 1970’s and the game that the drone flew over? That UMASS? Who scheduled that game? Was the drone disguised as a War Eagle?

At 3:30 SE Louisiana and Mississippi State on SECN. Hail State!

At 6:30 MTSU plays Alabama on the SECN. MTSU? Who is YOU? Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders, Oh come on! Is this a Middle School or Pop Warner team? Who did your schedule? Oh wait, I see it now. This week the before the game with Texas University. Brilliant Saban.

Georgia is not on my mind and neither is it on TV unless you stream. I am unable to stream and HULU at the same time.

Elsewhere…

We have Colorado and TCU at 11:00 on Fox. Now this could be fun. See what Deon brings. TCU? Please try not to embarrass the state of Texas this year in any championships.

THE UNIVERSITY of Texas plays the Rice Owls at 2:30 on Fox. I loved going to the Rice/Texas games in the Old Rice Stadium. I hope the MOB (Marching Owl Band) plays at half-time.

If you are not aware this year’s slogan for THE UNIVERSITY is “Embrace the Hate” because the school seems to think all teams loved to hate Texas. I suppose it is somewhat better than Guns Up by Tortilla Tech who plays Wyoming at 6:30 on CBS.

Also at 6:30 on FS 1 we have the University of Houston in their Big 12 debut playing UTSA. This could be a good game. Roadrunners chasing a cougar.

West Virginia and Penn State play at 6:30 on NBC. Definitely one of them will be an Ugly Uniform winner on Monday.

Sam Houston plays BYU at 9:30. The good news is that Sammy Bearkat gets to play with the Big Boys! The bad news is that the game is in Provo, Utah. I hope I make it to half-time.

Don’t forget Sunday night when LSU plays Florida State on ABC.

I hope your team wins unless you went to New Mexico.

BTHO New Mexico!

And to my other alma mater – Stephen F. Austin State University.

Pray for rain. Pray for Maui.

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Tagged Alabama, Big 12 Conference, college football, College Football; Texas Aggies, humor, LSU, SEC Conference, Texas A&M, The University of Texas

Monday, August 28, 2023 – My Monday Morning After College Football Awards

Posted on August 28, 2023 | Leave a comment

Monday, August 28, 2023 – My Monday Morning After College Football Awards

My apologies for no Snarky Friday. Had some eye issues. Besides the only schools playing were from the new I Don’t Care realignment and it was week ZERO!

However, just because I was unable to actually watch any football games does not prohibit me talking about some of them. People talk all the time about things they don’t know about. However, I heard it through the yard lines that there were some weird things.

First, even though I did not hear, nor see, I award The Big Mouth/ No Substance Award to former Dallas Cowboy coach Jason Garrett for the Notre Dame/Navy game. I understand Garrett noted the strength of Navy every other breath far into the fourth quarter when the score was 42-3. I understand Garrett will call all ND games. Another reason to dislike Notre Dame.

The Award for Stoppage of Football Game, Not Due to Injury, Weather or a Fight goes to The Drone Flying over the UMass and New Mexico State Game. Note to Aggies: That is not the NM we play on Saturday. Like we care, but UMASS won its opening game for the first time since 1973.

Flying drone causes delay in UMass’ football game against New Mexico State

The Score Bug Award goes to Notre Dame. If you are like me you had no idea what a score bug was. It is that ribbon of statistics on the bottom of the TV screen. I was unaware that the score bug belonged to the home team. Notre Dame enlarged their score bug. Now it sits just under the wide receiver’s feet at the bottom of your screen. We shall see this weekend if other teams enlarge their score bug.

And as THE University in Austin prepares to enter its final year in the Big 12, Conference the team and Stevie Sarky adopted a new slogan. Embrace the Hate! Seriously, that is their slogan. So chosen because Texas knows/thinks all the other schools hate them because “We’re Texas!” With slogans like that no wonder other schools hate you. HWIT – BOOMER SOONERS! SIC ‘EM, BEARS! GO COUGARS! Any team, but TU! I also think TU might have fumbled big time on this. Remember, next year TU, you will be U-T-2! Tennessee was there before Texas long before football.

https://www.nbcdfw.com/news/sports/sarkisian-and-texas-to-embrace-the-hate-in-their-last-season-in-big-12-before-joining-sec/3319558

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

Posted on November 13, 2021 | 1 comment

Friday, November 12, 2021 – Week Eleven of College Football Presents Snarky Friday.

We are getting closer to seeing which teams will go bowling and which teams will be in the weight room getting ready for next season. As usual I only snark on teams that I like and teams that play teams that I like. And recall, that I am an equal opportunity Snark. I only like a few teams this week.

In the unholy hour for football at 11:00 AM we find the following:

Oklahoma at Baylor on Fox. The Bears better be a praying for a Miracle on the Brazos. It has happened before. However, you might want to pray that the Boomer Sooner Schooner School all test positive for Covid. Sic ‘Em Bears!

New Mexico State at Alabama on the SECN. Whaaat? Why is your cupcake game against New Mexico State? Granted it is The Land of Enchantment, but there ain’t nothing going to be enchanting in Tuscaloosa. Roll Tide!

Michigan at Penn State on ABC. Michigan goes to Happy Town or Happy Time, or wherever Penn State is located. I hope the Nittany Lions are indeed Happy in Happy at the end of the game.

Mississippi State at Auburn on ESPN. To State Fans: Just in case you missed it last week, Auburn lost, and they are going to be pissed when they take the field. Just saying.

We have two goodies at 2:30. Set phasers on Upset.

Georgia at Tennessee at 2:30 CBS .

Wish that I was on ol’ Rocky Top
Down in the Tennessee hills
Ain’t no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top
Ain’t no telephone bills

Rocky Top, you’ll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol’ Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee
Rocky Top, Tennessee

I would wear those ugly orange and white strip overalls if Tennessee could upset Georgia and throw the entire playoff system into chaos. May the ghost of Peyton Manning haunt the field.

Purdue at Ohio State at 2:30 ABC. Can the Boilermakers do it for a fourth time? May the ghost of Drew Brees haunt the field and dot the I in the OHIO band.

In the evening your choices are:

Arkansas at LSU at 6:30 on SECN. This could be a good one. Both teams have much to prove, and LSU is blazing trying to make Coach O’s last games wins.

And last and certainly least, we have Rock Chalk Jayhawk Kansas at Texas University at 6:30 on ESPNU. The Horns are not getting a great deal of video footage for the Longhorn Network because you are not winning. This is your chance. It may be your only chance to finish with a win.

Of course the game of the week that has repercussions up and down the Top 25 is

Texas A&M at Ole Miss 6:00 on ESPN.

As previously, we must know things about the opponent. Read on for the history.

When it chartered the University of Mississippi on February 24, 1844, the Mississippi Legislature laid the foundation for public higher education in the state. The legislature is still laying the foundation for any type of education in the state.

The University was used as a Confederate hospital during the American Civil War. General Ulysses S. Grant’s army almost burned it down.

The University of Mississippi has gone through several mascots as the times changed. For years, the mascot was Colonel Reb, a plantation looking owner carrying a cane.

I would explain more but I want to avoid being accused of teaching Critical Race Theory.

But in 2003 (They kept the plantation guy until 2003???) the student body voted to change the mascot. It was initially a black bear called Rebel Bear, but the bear did not last long because it had no meaningful association with the state or the University. No bears in Mississippi. So, Ole Miss adopted the mascot, Tony the Landshark because it has a meaningful association because there are so many landsharks in the state. Actually, the Ole Miss defense came up with the name.

There was a race riot on the Ole Miss campus in 1962 when James Meredith, was the first black man to enroll. Again, I wish I could give you more history, but Critical Race Theory.

The university’s byname “Ole Miss” dates to 1897, when it was the winning entry of a contest held to solicit suggestions for a yearbook title. The term “Ole Miss” originated as a title domestic slaves used to distinguish the mistress of the plantation from the “young misses”. Nothing like having the name of the university continuing antebellum thoughts. This might be CRT too.

If you can change the mascots, why not change the name. I submit the following as the new name for the University of Mississippi. The University of Manning. You could have the Archie School, the Eli School and even the Cooper School. Think about it.

So Hotty Toddy to Ole Miss, but the Texas Aggies are coming. To Aggie QB Calzada. DO NOT SLIDE HEAD FIRST! But I’m sure Jimbo has gently said something similar.

Kiffer? Do you ever modify your facial expression? Or is the look of being lost or stoned just a permanent expression? You are going to need lots of popcorn, this week, Kiffy!

But be careful, Aggies. Do not open the door if you hear from the other side “Candygram.” It’s a Landshark!!

BTHO Ole Miss

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Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Posted on November 8, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 8, 2021 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Today the Week Ten Awards Show consists of songs dedicated to each team.

The only big award today is The Ugly Uniform Award, and it goes to TCU. Those uniforms look like SMU, Ole Miss and Cincinnati uniforms were washed together in magic washing powders and all the colors mixed together. Was it supposed to be mourning garb for Patterson’s leaving?

Today everyone receives a song to make their playlist. I might have changed a few lyrics.

For the upsets, each of these teams receive Patsy Cline’s version of

Faded Love

Wake Forest 55 – UNC 58

Mississippi State 28 Arkansas 31

But onward thru the fog…

Baylor 28 and TCU 30

Baylor song – U2 – Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

TCU song – Elton John – Good bye Yellow Brick Road

Liberty 14 and Ole Miss 27

Liberty – if you only play for what you need, you needed more.

Liberty Song – To Liberty and Coach Hugh Freeze, just Let It Go since you were Frozen.

Ole Miss – Popcorn Dance by Hot Butter. It’s like an ancient episode of Think You Can Dance. I think this could be the new Ole Miss song.

Purdue 40 and Michigan State 29

Purdue song – Lionel Richie – Once Twice, Three Times an Upset

Michigan State song – The Beatles – Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away.

Texas 7 at Iowa State 30

Iowa State song – Tornado by Little Big Town

Texas song – The Eagles – Desperado

Alabama 20 at LSU 14

Alabama song – Jack Scott – What In The World’s Come Over You?

LSU song – Police – Every breath you take; every move you make I’ll be watching you. Nothing can make a successful season for LSU more than an upset.

Texas A&M 20 and Auburn

A&M wins the Louise and George Jefferson Award

Aggie song – cause ‘we moving on up in the West Side – we finally got a piece of the pie!

Additional songs include Scoop there is it by Tag Team and We Put a Nix on You by Creedence Clearwater Revival for the Aggie Defense.

Auburn song – The Happenings – See You in September – Bye-bye, so long, farewell; Bye-bye, so long; See you, in the Iron Bowl; see you, when the season’s through.

BTHO Ole Miss!The Aggies are coming to Oxford with popcorn and ready to kick butt, and we are all out of popcorn! And we ain’t dancing to no popcorn dance either. WHOOP!

Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Posted on November 1, 2021 | Leave a comment

Monday, November 1, 2021 – My Monday After College Football Awards – Week Nine

Happy Post Halloween. There were tricks and treats this weekend.

First a treat – Mississippi State 31-Kentucky 17. Mike the Pirate does it again and wins the ARRR Talk Like a Pirate Award!

Now a trick – SMU 37- University of Houston 44. The University of Houston wins The Run It Back Award and Run Forrest Run Award for taking the football after the kickoff by SMU that tied the game and running from his end zone 100 yards to win the game with 17 seconds left. This left the poor, little rich kids stunned. So Ponies, you receive the Stun Gun Award.

Another treat – Auburn 31 – Ole Miss 20. Lane the Kiffer wins The Analytics Award for going for on Fourth Down three times and being stopped three times for no points on the scoreboard. Both teams share The Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Here’s a list of treats.

Georgia 34 -Florida 7 – The Gators win Once Their Was a Time We Were Good Award. Coach Mullins wins the Better Call the Fire Department Award because your seat is getting hot. To the Dawgs, you win the Sweet Georgia Brown Award because – No gal made has a got a shade on sweet Georgia Brown. No team can throw shade to Georgia. But the Tide could come Rolling in.

Cincinnati 31 – Tulane 12. The Bearkats win the Still Undefeated, but No Style Points Award. And your schedule is weak.

Michigan 33 – Michigan State 37 – Sparky wins The Big Chill Award. Michigan also wins a Thank You Award from the Texas Aggies.

Texas Tech 21 – Oklahoma University 52. OU wins the Hey Look Us Over, We Finally Got It Together Award. Tortilla Tech wins the Help Wanted Award.

Also winning the Help Wanted Award is TCU. The Frogs lose to Kansas State 31 to 12 and Head Coach, Gary Patterson, throws in the towel.

Iowa State 31 – West Virginia 38 – The Mountaineers win the Burn the Couches Award. Of course, anytime WVa wins the team receives The John Denver Award for Almost Heaven, West Virginia.

But the best treat of the Halloween weekend was:

Baylor 31 and THE University of Texas 24 – Baylor not only wins the game, but also wins The Costume Award – Baptist Nuns.

To the University of Texas (No longer THE University) – Bevo wins The Tent Award. Like a tent, Horns were light weight, foldable and collapsible.

The University of Texas also receives The Rolling Stone Award for “how does it feel to be on your own, like a complete unknown?”

Do not get discouraged, Horns. There are three games left and you only have to win two of them to become bowl eligible and one of the teams is Kansas. That is the good news. The bad news is the other teams are Iowa State and West Virginia.

Ten years ago, in September of 2011 the Regents of Texas A&M University voted to leave the Big 12 Football Conference and move to the Southeastern Conference. How has that move worked out? See for yourself.