Monthly Archives: July 2016

Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Friday, July 15, 2016 – Snarky Friday – Animadversion – The Circus is Coming

Our word for today is animadversion. It is a noun meaning 1. “An unfavorable or censorious comment; to make animadversions on someone’s conduct; 2. The act of criticizing.

Let’s get our red, white and blue hats of animadversion ready for the circus that comes to Cleveland, Ohio on Monday – The Republican National Convention. This one is going to be a doozy and there promises to be many animadversions. The Presumptive Candidate will become The Candidate of the Republican Party unless all Hell breaks loose with delegates, which is still a possibility.

Mr. Trump and the Trump campaign selected Mike Pence from Indiana as his running mate. That makes the ticket Trump-Pence or trumpets. So far, Mr. Pence wins the follicle contest for having the better hair.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christi will be a featured speaker at the Convention. He was probably hoping for Veep, but perhaps now he will secure a Cabinet Post if the Republicans are victorious this fall. Maybe he will get Secretary of Transportation.

Leading the Texas delegation will be Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick. LG Patrick will be fresh off embarrassing my state at the Town Hall meeting last evening. Mr. Patrick was the only one who opening criticized the president, offered no solutions and then proceeded to look pouty the remainder of the evening. All of the other speakers asked for solutions and help. Please get well, Governor Abbott – never thought I would say that.

I see the on agenda that Benghazi will be discussed the first night of the convention. I have a few questions. Are we talking about the United States, England or Russia who has tried at Benghazi and failed over the centuries? Will this discussion of the past incidents change anything? Will you disclose how much it costs taxpayers to look backwards?

Political speeches are often (OK –always) boring. Therefore I have come up with some activities to do while watching history. Here are some drinking games to play during the boring speeches.

  1. Count the number of times a speaker dishes President Obama or Hillary Clinton. If the number is five within five minutes, do a tequila shot. If neither name has been uttered within five minutes, do tequila shot anyway.
  2. During camera pans of the audience do tequila shot each time you see a minority. Dr. Ben Carson does not count. Neither does Ted Cruz.
  3. If you live in a recreational state such as Colorado or Alaska, or if you have medical condition (and who doesn’t these days?) spark it up and pretend The Convention is a Made for TV Movie.
  4. Create a Play List for the Republican National Convention. Here. I will get you started – Send in The Clowns.
  5. Design a foreign policy for the Republican Campaign. Locating the state of Indiana does not count.

If all else fails may I suggest a movie? Rent, download or stream – A Day Without a Mexican.

One morning California wakes up to find that one third of its population has disappeared. A thick fog surrounds the State and communication outside its boundaries is completely cut off. As the day goes by we discover that the characteristic that links the 14 million disappearances is their Hispanic background.

Buenos Dias, Ya’ll!

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Panhandle Plains Historical Museum. Photo by me.

Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Thursday, July 14, 2016 – Bastille Day! Vive la France!

Drinks @ Hilton (800x450)

French Champagne and a Belgium Moon.

Whatever you say, don’t call it Bastille Day. That’s a British term – the French call it the much more poetic ‘la fête du 14-Juillet’, or simply ‘la fête nationale’.

In fact, you don’t wish people ‘happy’ anything. Perhaps safest sticking with “Vive la France! Vive la République!” because that’s what it was all about.

The storming of the prison Bastille symbolized the start of the French Revolution. This is one of the many revolutions against the governments of the time. In the case of the French, this revolution did not go well for King Louis and Marie Antoinette. After several years of unrest in France a little man named Napoleon Bonaparte would appear on the scene of history.

Here are some words you can use today to show your support for France.

Bien sûr.

French Revolution – la Revolution Francaise

Republic – la Republique

French flag – le drapeau tricolore

Fireworks – le feu d’artifice

Military parade – le defile

Homeland – la patrie

Long Live France – Vive la France

Storming of the Bastille – la Prise de la Bastille

Eiffel Tower – la tour Eiffel

French national anthem – “La Marseillaise”

Great Football Team – Texas Aggies

OK, I was just checking to see if you were still reading.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016 – Golf and I Did Not Forget Here’s What I’m Thinking.

practice (293x456)

Today is Wednesday and the Briarcrest Women’s Golf League plays. My inner Korean golfer, Yu So Yung showed up for 17 holes. Then on number 18, her evil twin sister Yu So Suk ran onto the fairway and immediately hit two balls into the water. Then the evil wench went on to throw the ball into the bunker. Oh well, I still shot lower than the heat index.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016 – Songs of Summer

Tuesday, July 12, 2016 – Songs of Summer

Let’s go Boomers! Below is list of opening lines of songs about summer. See you can match the song to the artist. You probably cannot. I had to Google most of the artists. But I bet you can sing them all! Stay cool and sing along.

  1. Summertime and the living is easy
  2. Hot time; summer in the city; back of neck is dirt and gritty;
  3. In the good old summertime, in the good old summertime,
  4. In the summer time when the weather is hot, you can sit right down and touch the sky – Have a drink; have drive go out and see what you can find.
  5. ‘Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo), Here comes the sun, and I say It’s all right.
  6. The long, hot summer seems to know every time you are near…
  7. Cause there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues
  8. Hot Fun in the Summer Time
  9. Summertime, summertime, sum, sum summertime
  10. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray…Kerrville 5.18.12 056 (800x516)1.Summertime and the living is easy – multiple artists, but try Janis Joplin or Billy Holliday

    2.Hot time; summer in the city; back of neck is dirt and gritty; Loving Spoonful

    3.In the good old summertime, in the good old summertime, – multiple artists

    4.In the summer time when the weather is hot, you can sit right down – Have a drink; have drive go out and see what you can find. Mungo Jerry

    5.’Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo), Here comes the sun, and I say It’s all right. The Beatles

    6.The long, hot summer, seems to know every time you are near… Jimmie Rogers

    7.Cause there ain’t no cure for the summertime blues – Eddie Cochran

    8.Hot Fun in the Summer Time – Sly and the Family Stone

    9.Summertime, summertime, sum, sum summertime – The Jamies

    10.You are my sunshine, my only sunshine – Johnny Cash and the original Jimmie Davis

    Madeline Hunter 2Extra Credit if you can identify the painter of these pictures. They were on display in Kerrville, Texas 2014. Hint:  The artist was from Colfax, Louisiana.

June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

June 11, 2016 – The Zombie Apocalypse or Brain Free Politicians

Nov 2013 2013-08-24 156 (800x530)

In case you doubt the zombie apocalypse please know one of the zombies is alive and well and lives in the Texas Lt. Governor’s body. Like many of the others who work under the current dome of doom, his brain has been missing for decades.

In the midst of the tragedy in Dallas, Dan Patrick (DP) told Fox News the protesters were hypocrites for running the opposite direction when shots rang out. I was not raised in the city, so I am not certain the protocol for when people are shooting at you in large urban areas. In the country, however, when someone is shooting at me, unless I am in the military or law enforcement I am hauling my ass the opposite direction.

The Brainless Wonder went on to blame the organization Black Lives Matter for the entire incident. Once again, I am not certain of your raising, DP, but that judgement and blaming thing does not sound too Christian.

As you tried to name the amendments you support – “Second Amendment and Freedom of Speech,” you seemed to have forgotten Freedom of Speech is not an amendment. It is one of the unalienable rights listed in the First Amendment. The First Amemendent also includes the Right to Peaceful Assembly. The First amendment also addresses freedom of Religion, Press and Petition. Oh that is correct; you zombie politicians on quote the amendents you like.

Brainless Wonder would go to say on KSKY660 AM radio that he questioned Dallas Police Chief’s decision regarding uniforms for his department. DP suggested short sleeve shirts and less body armor to appear less menacing.

In a morning radio call to KSKY/660 AM host Mark Davis, Patrick even questioned Dallas Police Chief David Brown’s choice for officers to wear their more friendly summer shirtsleeves instead of menacing body armor.

DP? Do you not have anything better to do that to tell people where to go to the bathroom and how to dress for work?

God Bless Texas and Dallas and keep your voter registration card current.

AXO wkend 2013 2013-10-06 001

Road side sign – Hearne Texas – 2014. Photo by me.

Friday, July 8, 2016 – Dallas

Friday, June 8, 2016 – Dallas

Once again our hearts mourn for those who protect and serve and to those who gave their lives doing so.

Peace to all.

Texas Flag @ Sunset (800x600)

Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Thursday, July 7, 2016 – The Grand Jury or It Depends

Yesterday: Brazos District Court Voir Dire

Court Clerk: “As your name is called, please take a seat in the jury box. Name # 1. Name # 2. Name # 3 DRD.” Oh crap, that is me. I was both excited and nervous.

Court Clerk “You three will be the Foreman, Secretary and Alternate Foreman. Do you have any objections?” I like that, Alternate Foreman.

Court Clerk: – Do you have any questions?

Me: “Yes, Does this honor come with a crown or sash of some sort? Perhaps a pretty name badge?” OK, I thought about it, but did not ask. It does come with $40 per day and free parking.

Nine other names and four alternates were called and seated in the jury box. The remaining people happily walked out the door. The judge then administered the oath and we all swore or affirmed we would do whatever he had just said.

We were then escorted to the third floor to meet with another lawyer to explain what we had just sworn or affirmed to do. Here is a paraphrase of his presentation.

The Grand Jury listens to cases to determine if there is sufficient evidence to proceed to a trial. The members of the GJ do not determine guilt or innocence or sentencing.

You may hear anywhere from five to fifty or more cases per day. Most of them will be felonies. You will be surprised what people will steal from Wal-Mart.

Hopefully, this will be fun and educational for you. You will learn much about the legal system. Law enforcement officials will give presentations and demonstrations. You will get to see what cocaine looks like and what marijuana smells like. Yes, Ms. Alternate Foreperson?

No, there will not be opportunities for sampling the products.

More blah, blah, blah, yadda yadda yadday and then came the question that I know was on every one’s mind. From the back of the room an older gentleman raised his hand and said, “I have to go to the bathroom a lot. Will there be breaks?” If looks were hugs this man just got a huge grand jury group hug.

Yes, you may take as many breaks as you need.

What a relief. Here’s what I’m thinking. I am about to spend the third Thursday of each month from July to December with these people. We will determine the course or direction one’s life will take. And it all Depends on the size of our respective bladders. See you in court!

Door decorations

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 – Off to Voir Dire

Wednesday, July 6, 2016 – Off to Voir Dire

Not only do I have to answer my jury summons, I have to arrive at 9:30 instead of 1:30.

Thank you to all of you sent FB MSGs and Texts suggesting ways to be dismissed.

Honorable Mention: Yoga pants, no make -up and look as though you just rolled about of bed.

And the winner is: Immediately upon entering the court house, find some-one who looks official and has a badge and gun. Walk up and say “I am here for jury duty and I’m transgendered. Where do I go to the bathroom?”


Tuesday, July 5, 2016 – Yes Your Honor.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016 – Yes Your Honor.

I received a jury summons to appear at the 85th District Court of Brazos Valley. I have to appear on Wednesday, July 6, 2016 at 1:30. I really would not mind sitting as part of the jury of one’s peers. However, I doubt I shall be called. High ranking military, educators, and those with advanced degrees are seldom called to actually sit on a jury. This is not due to being smarty pants, but just the opposite. We are the type who think too much and slow down the judicial process. The objective is to get these incarcerated people onward through the fog and locked firmly in the system.

I am concerned that if I am chosen I would not have enough appropriate clothing to wear. According to the website, there is a Dress Code.

Here are the minimum standards and my comments.

All persons, whether lawyers, parties, witnesses, jurors, or spectators, conducting business, participating in trials, or otherwise attending proceedings in the courtroom shall be dressed appropriately so as to maintain the dignity, integrity, decorum, seriousness and professional atmosphere of the Court and the administration of justice. As minimum standards, the following rules apply:

  • All attorneys shall wear professional appropriate attire. If my lawyer has to be told to wear appropriate attire, then I am getting a new lawyer.
  • No clothing that depicts alcohol, drugs, or tobacco. Are we still talking about lawyers?
  • No clothing that promotes violence or is lewd, offensive, vulgar, or contains obscene language. So I guess wearing that Alabama shirt is out.
  • Not hats or caps. Oh come on! Not even my pink Titleist cap that I only wear for special occasions?
  • No pants that are excessively long or sag below the top of the hip line. Are we talking about hip huggers?
  • No shorts, short dresses or short shirts. NO SHORTS! Do dresses and skirts apply only to females? That’s discrimination.
  • No sunglasses. But I wear Ray-Bans!
  • No tube-tops, halters, half shirts, muscle shirts, crop tops or any shirt that allows the naval or a bra to show. Obviously these people have never been to a parent teacher conference in East Montgomery County where this is considered acceptable. If one’s naval and bra shows at this same, this is also discriminatory against older women.
  • No underclothing shall be visible at any time. Are tank tops considered underclothing?

I noticed a few rules that might be missing.

The Dress Code does not say one must wear undergarments. That does not bring a pretty image to my imagination.

The Dress Code has no language about bling or other jewelry.  That should include jeans with rhinestones on the buttocks area.

The Dress Code has no rules against spandex. There should be penalties for sales people who sell spandex clothing to certain body types. That material was not originally designed to stretch that far.

There is no mention of wearing crowns. Therefore I am within the guidelines of the dress code. I could wear this sans sunglasses.

Me on throne (600x800)

I notice there is no mention of flip flops or other footwear or that one even has to wear footwear. I am debating between wearing my brown closed toed shoes to indicate a conservative point of view or my nice Birkenstocks to indicate the opposite. I could wear the Birks with mismatched socks to indicate just overall weirdness.

I do not find out if I am needed until after 6:00 PM today. There is a number I must call. If I must show up I must bring my online summons and a pen. Really? I have to bring my own writing implement!

I suppose I will dress like the State Farm guy in the TV commercial. What are you wearing? Khakis.

Monday, July 4, 2016 – Independence Day

Monday, July 4, 2016 – Independence Day

July 4, 2014 2014-07-04 173 (800x530)

Since I have a degree in the history of revolutions here is my hopefully humorous version of the Signing of The Declaration of Independence. It could have happened this way.


Back in 1620 a bunch of people called The Pilgrims got mad at the crown of England over religious freedoms and decided to get on this tiny little ship called The Mayflower and go to one of England’s colonies. They landed on a rock and they named the town Plymouth Rock.

They were not the first to arrive in England’s colonies in America. In 1602 a group arrived at coast of what is now Massachusetts and named their town Jamestown after the King of England, James I – of King James Version of the Bible Fame.  James, being a Stuart, would begin a not too pleasant time in British history.

And then…

Things went well for about 100 years. Mother England pretty much forgot about the colonies across The Pond until she got into a war with the French called The French and Indian War. It is also known as The Seven Years War because it lasted from 1754 to 1763. England liked to name Her wars by the number of years it lasted. It was not always exact if you do the math. As foreign wars tend to do to countries, this bankrupted the English treasury. When governments go bankrupt, the leaders levy taxes.

So Mother England began to tax the colonies in her American empire. Well, this got out of hand real fast. It started out as “we just want to be represented in Parliament to have a voice over this taxation.” Either the news did not reach the Crown in time or it just pissed England off, I do not know, but England did not reply in a timely manner or at all as a matter of fact.

The next thing you know this anarchist group called The Sons of Liberty formed and decided to take matters into their own hands. On December 16, 1763, disguised as Native Americas, these men boarded a ship and started pushing England’s entire shipment of tea into the Boston Harbor. This is known as The Boston Tea Party. When George III who was now King of England and not a Stuart, heard about it he was really mad and said, “They did WHAT?” King George and PM Lord North refused to budge, somewhat like the Republican Party today.

Life for the American colonists did not get any better and the taxes continued to increase. Finally they said ENOUGH! A group of men, who called themselves The Continental Congress met for a second time in late June in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and on July 2, 1776 decided to declare independence from England. Like all group work everybody selected one guy to actually write the document while the rest would continue to think and drink ale in the pubs.

Thomas Jefferson was elected to actually write the words on paper. This is probably due to the fact that TJ could write with both hands at the same time. On July 3, Mr. Jefferson presented his paper to the others. Everybody liked the words, but John Adams was at the meeting was actually pissed off.  It was his idea to write something. He wanted July 2 to be Independence Day, but the second Continental Congress said, “No, it is not an official document until everyone has signed off on it.” This began the Dawn of Bureaucracy and the document was not signed by the 56 delegates until July 4, 1776. If John Adams had not shoved the responsibility of actually doing the work onto TJ, perhaps July 2, would be the day we celebrate independence.

The Declaration of Independence was signed off by representatives of the Thirteen Colonies, not from The United States. There was no United States. That would come later.

The Declaration lists colonial grievances against King George III, declared independence from the rule and crown of England and declared war on England. It included the “right to a revolution.” Keep in mind, the American colonies had been at war with Great Britain a couple of years, but the declaration of war by the colonies put a new spin on things. It really made England look bad in the world, so France jumped in to help England took bad – See French and Indian War revenge and support the Colonies. When King George III and Lord North heard about this, they said “What the Bloody Hell?” Translated today as: WTF?

The Thirteen Colonies or states would go on to win this revolution and set the stage for revolutions against governments throughout Europe and the world. There were many revolutions against the British Empire because the sun never sat on the British Empire. Other notable revolutions include the one in France. That French Revolution was a head rolling doozy revolution.

The loss of the British Colonies across The Pond would eventually cause George III to go mad – not government mad, but crazy kinda of mad. Of course all of that royal inbreeding thing and maybe just old age might have had much to do with his madness.

The little colonies would eventually unite and form The United States of America. The Declaration of Independence would become one of the most important documents regarding human rights in the history of Western Civilization – especially the second sentence.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Here’s hoping your Fourth of July is filled with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.