Monthly Archives: April 2016

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 – The Hoi Polloi Speaketh from New York

Tuesday, April 19, 2016 – The Hoi Polloi Speaketh from New York

Hoi polloi – pronounced HOI puh-LOI. It is a noun that means “the common people; the masses (often preceded the).

Brooklyn Bridge (800x534)

Photo by me. New York City – Brooklyn Bridge – 1986.

And then there were five candidates vying for the delegates from New York. There are three former/current US Senators; a current governor and a businessman with bad hair. Tonight we see who is voted off the island. We also learn who is voted off of Dancing With the Stars.

It seems the reality show called To Elect the President has played the states’ stages of production and revisions and will premier tonight from New York. As the show becomes more refined, often name changes are in order. Here’s What I’m Thinking for possible names for coming reality show productions – The Republican and Democratic Conventions.

  • Cussing for The White House
  • The Great Name Calling Shows
  • The Great Hoi Polloilooza
  • Hoi Polloi POTUS
  • We’re Doing the Hoi Polloi Polka
  • The Biggest Hoi Polloi Loser
  • Hoi Polloi – That’s My Boy!

Whatever the hoi polloi have to say tonight, perhaps we can get permission for Larry King to use the following lyrics. Not the talk show host Larry King.

Oooh I love to dance the little sidestep; now they seem me now they don’t;

I’ve Come and Gone.

And Oooh. I love to sweep around the wide step

Cut a little swath and lead the people on!”

Staten Island Ferry (800x500)

Photo by me – The Staten Island Ferry – New York City – 1986.

Monday, April 18, 2016 – Way to Give ‘Em the Axe Jacks! NCAA Division I Women’s Bowling National Champs!

Monday, April 18, 2016 – Way to Give ‘Em the Axe Jacks! 2016 NCAA Division I Women’s Bowling National Champs!

Bowling Banner (800x450)

National Championships in any sport are proud moments. Check this out – Last year the Lady Jacks finished second behind Nebraska in the Finals. This year they won and the bowling program/team at SFA is only in its sixth (6th) year of existence.

Since I have every sports channel available, I actually watched the replay last night on ESPNU. You were expecting another network besides ESPN?

Coaches (800x450)

It was quite exciting. Basically, these very strong women, wearing very short skirts and ugly shoes turn their arms and hands into putters and accurately roll a 10 plus pound ball down a narrow wooden lane to knock over large numbers of funny shaped objects called pins.

That is the Nebraska Coach on the left. I am sure he could also be a physics professor on the side. The SFA assistant coach is on the right. Note: His wife is actually the Bowling Coach. I wonder if those pants he is wearing come in my size. I got to get me some of those. You too, RL and Longmire.

The teams play the best 4 of 7 games.  SFA won game seven by crushing (shall we say chopping) the Corn Huskers by over 50 points or pins.

Wait to go Ladies!!!

My two new favorite T-Shirts will be.

Stephen F. Austin State University NCAA National Champs Women’s Bowling.

Ax'Em Jacks!

Texas A&M University NCAA National Championship – Men’s Polo. No photo available.  It is not as easy to carry your horse as it is to carry a bowling ball. I understand clean up is more intense also.

Stay dry.

Friday, April 15, 2016 – Check out these photos from the 1967 Magnolia High School Yearbook

Friday, April 15, 2016 – Check out these photos from the 1967 Magnolia High School Yearbook

Hintons softball

I so love the two pictures of the sixth grade girls playing softball in their dresses. If I recall girls were not allowed to wear pants to school.

Look closely. Can you identify the location? What stands there today?

I think we got to wear shorts to play softball at the high school level. I remember playing softball and Mr. Hinton was the “coach.” He was also umpiring the game we called “work up.” It was one of those games where everybody gets to play and you do not have to make people feel bad by choosing sides and being last chosen. Very smart on part of the coach.

I was playing catcher. There was a runner on first and a runner on third. Just as the pitcher threw the ball, Mr. Hinton said “Do not throw the ball to second base.” Sure enough, as soon as the runner from first took off, I fired the ball to second base and watched the runner on third run home.

He said, “I told you not to throw the ball to second base because the runner from third could score.” I was clearly upset by my stupidity and that I had disappointed Mr. Hinton. Then he said, “But it was a great throw. Great arm!” Very smart on the part of the teacher.

FYI – Mr. Hinton, never again would I throw to second with runners on first and third. Good teaching.

Thursday, April 14, 2016 – Did You Ever Shop Here?

Thursday, April 14, 2016 – Did You Ever Shop Here?

Trivia: Was there one of these stores in your hometown?

Where was this store located in Conroe, Texas?

Bonus Question for all of the SFA Lumberjacks – Where was this store located in Nacogdoches, Texas?

Gibsons

Let’s see what answers we come up with. Let’s see with what answers we up come?” Nevermind .

Wednesday, April 13, 2016 – I Have Nothing Intelligent or Stupid to Say Today.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016 – I Have Nothing Intelligent or Stupid to Say Today.

Therefore, I am keeping quiet. Don’t you wish those running for President would do the same today?Atrium (586x800)

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016 – ICYMI – In Case You Missed It.

While we anxiously await the results of tonight’s reality show live from New York – The United States Presidential Elections – let’s take a look at what you missed in other news.

First News from the Royal Families:

From India: Did you see Kate Middleton playing cricket in those high heels? You go, Girl!

From the Brazos Valley: Make that Sir Quarterback. His Royal Highness and his peeps appointed Trevor Knight as starting quarterback for the 2016 Texas Aggie Football Season.

Panoramic view (800x284)

Knight was named MVP of the 2014 Sugar Bowl when he led Oklahoma to a 45–31 upset of two-time reigning national champion Alabama.

From Golf: Jordon Spieth – I think it would have been pretty funny too if you had dropped The Green Jacket twice as you put it on this year’s champion – what is his name again?

From DWTS: Looking good as Prince Charming, last night, Von Miller.

Second News from the Weird and Strange and Just Downright Awful

Johnny Manziel is my new roommate. He is staying and paying until he makes up for the dollars I spent on buying his shit.

From the land of “Take me back to Dixie” come the ghosts of George Wallace and Jesse Helms – Alabama, and North Carolina – we have the reincarnation of the current governors of Mississippi and North Carolina.

From these backwards thinking minds comes legislation regarding who can pee where. When did one’s need to pee become a need to legislate? Please use the bathroom with the urinary disposal system you were born with? How in the hell are you going to enforce this? I am not buying this shit either.

 

Ship wreck 4

Third News from World of The Let’s Make a Deal

The “good money” Proposal

From some faithful and loyal readers of HWIT, I received the following proposal yesterday:

“BTW – we would pay good money to see a video of you throwing your clubs in the water, jumping in after them, thrashing wildly while screaming and cursing just sayin.”

Here is my Counter Proposal – Pick a definition of “good money” and bring it!

  • Must be at the 12th Hole in Augusta at The Masters – you pay for my trip to The Masters and my videographers
  • The purse Jordon Speith received
  • New clubs after mine are in the water
  • A tailgate weekend at my house when Johnny Manziel moves out.

Monday, April 11, 2016 – Go Down Jordon. Oh, It’s Go Down Moses?

Monday, April 11, 2016 – Go Down Jordon. Oh, It’s Go Down Moses?

Yeah, it was Roll, Jordon, Roll. If you did not see it, then do not watch because it was so painful. After leading the field at The Masters Tournament for three days, on the 12th Hole, Par 3 Hole, Jordon Spieth quadruple bogies for a seven (7).

What is even worse, is that I knew exactly how to score two balls in the water, two drops, and three strokes. I know because I do that frequently on Hole # 16, Par 3 at Briarcrest Country Club. I am supposed to play like you. You are not supposed to play like I do.

I would have thrown my clubs in the water, jumped in after them, and thrashed wildly in the water while screaming and cursing on national television until my caddie was forced to come in to save me.

But you, classy as always, almost pull off the great comeback. But you walked calmly to the parking lot, waved a slight wave to reporters, and were whisked away. Or as we say in Texas – This is when The Cowboy Rides Away. It is OK to cry.Texas Flag @ Sunset

April 10, 2016 – It’s Siblings Day – Do I Get a Present?

April 10, 2016 – It’s Siblings Day – Do I Get a Present? Maybe Some Jacks?

I have that table to the right of the TV.

I have that table to the right of the TV.

Friday, April 8, 2016 – A Rose

 

Friday, April 8, 2016 – A Rose

Flower 2 (800x450)

“What a lovely thing a rose is!” He walked past the couch to the open window and held up the drooping stalk of a moss-rose, looking down at the dainty blend of crimson and green. It was a new phase of his character to me, for I had never before seen him show any keen interest in natural objects.

“There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as religion,” said he, leaning with his back against the shutters. “It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things, our powers, our desires, our food, are all really necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its color are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Naval Treaty

Flower 1 (800x450)Flower 3 (800x450)

 

 

Thursday, April 4, 2016 – Ferris Bueller and I Are Taking the Day Off

Thursday, April 4, 2016 – Ferris Bueller and I Are Taking the Day Off

That is true. Today Ferris Bueller and I are taking the day off.

Buddy Glasses

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn’t bull-shit. It’s on European socialism. I mean really, what’s the point. I’m not European. I don’t plan on being European, so who gives a crap if they’re socialists. They could be fascist anarchists and it still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t own a car.”

My plans include sitting, watching the first rounds of The Masters and listening to Merle Haggard songs. May you Rest in Peace, Okie from Muskogee. The Silver Wings took you away from this side, but can never take you away from our playlists.