Thursday, January 18, 2018 – Job Search
I have been entertaining the idea of part-time employment.
I think back to my time of Governor of Texas induced 16 months of unemployment. The three criteria for employment are the same now as then. The job must be indoors; does not involve the preparation or handling of food or drinks and there is no dancing pole involved. However, I am willing to negotiate about the dancing pole.
I am adding a fourth criteria – does not involve social and polite interaction with people. For that matter, it does not involve antisocial and impolite interaction with people either.
The problem is I do not want to interact with people and that I want to work part time and design which parts of the time I work. Having taught eighth grade one year I am qualified to do almost anything.
If you Google “part-time jobs that have limited people involvement or interaction” you get listings such as:
Statistician – I left my correlations, coefficients, analyses of variances, independent, dependent and random variables, and chi squares in the control group long ago.
Pet sitter – I do this already. I have a pet and it sometimes sits in my lap. Sometimes it sits on the desk.
House cleaner – I hire someone to clean my house. Why would I clean someone else’s?
Test scorer – been there; done that, didn’t we Nikki?
Driving Miss Daisy – been there; done this one too.
Massage therapist – you have to touch people though.
Personal trainer – SEE! I KNEW IT! Krystal, Mickey and Kaitlin – I knew you guys just stand around, torture us and do not pay attention.
Working in a morgue or funeral home. Certainly no yakety yak; no talk back there.
I am thinking something more along the lines of:
Data researcher needed at different times to taste new brands of beer, vodka, tequila, chardonnay and merlot. Taxi fee home added benefit or can work from home.
Sports watcher and/or attendee – No boxing or wrestling. All indoor sport options available, including curling. Outdoor sports attendance only during good weather.
Chair sitting professional. No experience required.
Marijuana sampler – Must be able to remember and write a coherent sentence following sample without laughing.
The Great Jimmy Buffet at COTA Austin, Texas 2014 singing Cheeseburger in Paradise. Photo by me.
Cheeseburger sampler –not too particular; not too precise, must like onion slice; must like lettuce and tomatoes, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes, big kosher pickle and cold draught beer and Jimmy Buffet songs.
Here’s a job that might work. Professional Hermit. I wonder what it pays.
If I have unintentionally left out someone’s birthday, add it.
Janus presided over the beginning and ending of conflict, and hence war and peace. The doors of his temple were open in time of war, and closed to mark the peace.
Here's What I'm Thinking 