Thursday, January 18, 2018 – Job Search

Thursday, January 18, 2018 – Job Search

I have been entertaining the idea of part-time employment.

I think back to my time of Governor of Texas induced 16 months of unemployment. The three criteria for employment are the same now as then. The job must be indoors; does not involve the preparation or handling of food or drinks and there is no dancing pole involved. However, I am willing to negotiate about the dancing pole.

I am adding a fourth criteria – does not involve social and polite interaction with people. For that matter, it does not involve antisocial and impolite interaction with people either.

The problem is I do not want to interact with people and that I want to work part time and design which parts of the time I work. Having taught eighth grade one year I am qualified to do almost anything.

If you Google “part-time jobs that have limited people involvement or interaction” you get listings such as:

Statistician – I left my correlations, coefficients, analyses of variances, independent, dependent and random variables, and chi squares in the control group long ago.

Pet sitter – I do this already. I have a pet and it sometimes sits in my lap. Sometimes it sits on the desk.

House cleaner – I hire someone to clean my house. Why would I clean someone else’s?

Test scorer – been there; done that, didn’t we Nikki?

Driving Miss Daisy – been there; done this one too.

Massage therapist – you have to touch people though.

Personal trainer – SEE! I KNEW IT! Krystal, Mickey and Kaitlin – I knew you guys just stand around, torture us and do not pay attention.

Working in a morgue or funeral home. Certainly no yakety yak; no talk back there.

I am thinking something more along the lines of:

Data researcher needed at different times to taste new brands of beer, vodka, tequila, chardonnay and merlot. Taxi fee home added benefit or can work from home.

Sports watcher and/or attendee – No boxing or wrestling. All indoor sport options available, including curling. Outdoor sports attendance only during good weather.

Chair sitting professional. No experience required.

Marijuana sampler – Must be able to remember and write a coherent sentence following sample without laughing.

The Great Jimmy Buffet at COTA Austin, Texas 2014 singing Cheeseburger in Paradise. Photo by me.

Cheeseburger sampler –not too particular; not too precise, must like onion slice; must like lettuce and tomatoes, Heinz 57 and French fried potatoes, big kosher pickle and cold draught beer and Jimmy Buffet songs.

Here’s a job that might work. Professional Hermit. I wonder what it pays.