Monday, September 11, 2023 –My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards
But first, let us remember where you were on this day in 2001! Long ago, yet yesterday and today. RIP those who sacrificed. You are not forgotten.
And now Week Two of my weekly awards …
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts; mutilated monkey feet, little dirty birdy feet…
And that is how it was, Sports fans! Here’s What I’m Thinking.
What a crappy college football weekend!. Everybody gets a Poopy Undies Award! Pick those up at Port-a-Potties zero through 10 on the west side of the building on your way out.
Nevertheless, will my award teams please come forward for your awards?
LSU? Step back, you are not getting an award for winning 72 to10. But I’m pretty sure you lost the half-time to the Grambling Band.
To THE UNIVERSITY of Texas, I award a Great Win, BUT Trophy. Yes, you beat a really crappy Alabama team 34 to 24 for two wins in a row. But do not rest on your laurels. You still have the Big 12 season but given the playing of the other teams from Texas this weekend, you could end up playing Kansas for the Championship. So I also award the Longhorns, the I’ll Check Back in October Award. To Alabama, I award The Elephant Never Forgets Trophy. It comes with a listing of available portal quarterbacks.
To Baylor, I award the God Heard What You Said in the Final Minutes. He also heard when we all screamed PASS INTERFERENCE on the so-called last play. Utah 20 Baylor 13
To the Rice University Owls who defeated their cross gang rivals the University of Houston 43 to 41 in double OT, I award The Hooters Award. What a difference a Daniels makes? With Covid, redshirts, medical redshirts, some of these players will be assistant professors before they finally use up their eligibility. Seriously, by the time I had 8 years of college I had half of a PhD.
To the Prime Time Wonder Boys of Colorado, I award the I’m Still Not Convinced Award. Colorado 36 Nebraska 14
To Mississippi State, I award not one, but two Big Solid Silver Awards to the team and to the young man who intercepted two passes. Sidebar: A few have asked about Big Solid. Big Solid (Larry) played linebacker for Mississippi State. His claim to fame (among many) was intercepting a pass from Joe Namath and running it back for a touchdown. Big Solid and his lovely Sweet Potato Queen wife, Janne, always read HWIT football and he always loved when he was mentioned. Big Solid passed away this spring so I decided to honor him with as many mentions as I can. A Big Solid Award goes to a linebacker who intercepts and scores. A Big Solid Silver goes to an interception by a linebacker from Mississippi State. And a Big Solid Gold will go to a Mississippi State linebacker who intercepts and scores a touchdown. I hope I got that right, Janne. Oh yes, Mississippi State 31 Arizona 24 in OT.
Even though I never met Big Solid I believe we shared common adjectives for describing plays, teams, tackles, passes, coaches, announcers, commercials for our respective teams and others. Therefore this year I have instituted The Big Solid Swear Jar. I thought about making various coins for various words, but just said, “F-that”, everything gets a quarter. Last week, the BSSJ had $1.00. This week I just threw in two roll of quarters at the end of the TU/Tide game. That is $20 or 80 quarters.
However, most of those coins were put (thrown) in the jar during the Texas A&M/Miami game. Miami 48 Texas A&M 33. The Aggies get the Moon over Miami Award for getting their asses whipped. To Jimbo and Bobby I award The Climate Change Award because your seats are getting warmer! To the Fighting Aggie Team, READY! AIM! FIRE! RELOAD! WHOOP! Stay Calm and Gig ‘Em!
Pray for rain. Pray for peace.
Here's What I'm Thinking 