Category Archives: Uncategorized

Tuesday, November 4, 2014 – Election Day

Tuesday, November 4, 2014 – Election Day

It is Election Day in the United States.

Who said “It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried?”

What do the following have in common?

  1. Airplane
  2. A Night to Remember
  3. Dante’s Peak
  4. Daylight
  5. Deep Impact
  6. The Abyss
  7. The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
  8. The High and the Mighty
  9. The Swarm
  10. Twisted – The Big Suck

They are all names of disaster motion pictures and also descriptions of politicians and the world they create. Be careful what you wish for.

And so – from the 1972 version of The Poseidon Adventure, let’s all sing There’s Got to Be a Morning After.  Keep your voter registration card current. Don’t forget to vote. Good Luck and God Bless Texas. Sir Winston Churchill is quoted.

Monday, November 3, 2014 – My Week Ten Awards

Monday, November 3, 2014 – My Week Ten Awards

It’s Monday after Week Nine of NCAA College Football. There are fewer teams, but multiple awards to teams and to players.  So here we go…

The Four Heartbreak Hotel Awards go to Ole Miss. They lost the ball; they lost the player (Treadwell); they lost the game and they lost their chance –all on the last play of the game.  Do not watch the video. Think back to Joe Theisman. Trust me; you do not want to see it unless you are an orthopedic surgeon.

A close second to the Heartbreak Hotel Award, but given the Keeps Right on a Hurting Award instead goes to the Hogs of Arkansas who once again came oh so close to upsetting #1 Mississippi State.

The Pepto Bismal, Yet Still Dismal Award goes to Uncle Will and the Florida Gators who upset Georgia.  Doubt it will be enough to keep your job though, Willie.

The Poo Poo Undies Award is a tie between TCU and their fans and Mississippi State and their fans for such close, near upset games. Cancel that order of them Mountaineer oysters, with a side of frog legs and bacon – We ain’t won the Big 12/National Championship just yet.

The Point Award goes to the TCU kicker for winning the game in the final seconds.

The Most Points Scored, with 60, goes to Baylor.  But hey, it was Kansas, but perfect for Homecoming.  Did the Homecoming Queen get a chance to play?

The Who Gives a Shit Award is shared by THE University of Texas and the Texas Tech Red Raiders who are battling Iowa State and Kansas for last place in the Big 12 standings.

The Ugly Helmet Award goes to Texas Tech – a second time winner.  The Texas flag? Really?  However, I thought it was a very nice touch to wear them, and the entire ugly Texas flag motif uniform, against Texas University, who think they own the flag of the state of Texas.  I keep thinking of giving Kingsbury the “Me Think, Thou Doth Protest Too Much” Award, but no gay man or straight man would select the uniforms he has this year.  Who is the fashion consultant? Color Blind Fashions, Day Care and Charter School?

The Luckiest Team Award goes to Auburn for catching pass deflections, keeping drives alive and then winning as they did.  I not only hope The Twelfth Man goes to Alabama next Saturday, I hope one of them can actually play the quarterback position, because the Ags do not have a backup.

And Notre Dame, they win The Do We Have to Go to Confess Because We Played on the CBS Network Award?

Before our last awards, did you happen to see the promo for Louisiana Monroe during the Aggie football game on Saturday? I do not recall ever seeing one of these, dating back to the first days of those PR segments where the two featured sports in the video were football and bass fishing!

And now the awards you have been waiting for all of these awards go to the Texas Aggie Football Team and/or player.  To the team:

  1. The Hoover Award – because you sucked on Saturday! That is not how you play football in the SEC! Or even in the ACC.
  2. The Middle School Basketball Score Award – not only did you look like a middle school football team, the score was    16 – 20 – A girls’ middle school basketball score! Against Louisiana-Monroe!! Bass fishing is their next top sport!
  3. The Best Uniform of the Day Award does go to the Aggies for their 1939 throwback uniforms and cool helmets. Too bad you played as though you were actually 39 years old.

And to the player of the news the following are unconfirmed, but still awarded:

  1. The Maroon is the New Orange Award goes to Kenny Hill who also receives the Didn’t Amount to a Hill of Beans Award.
  2. Also the former A&M QB receives The Gilbert & Sullivan – HMS Pinafore Award for the orange community service vest he will be wearing during his suspension and beyond for a while.
  3. And from the NBC children’s program from the 1970’s, to Kenny Hill, I give the HR Puffnstuf Award. College Station ain’t Colorado!

Thank you and good whatever time you are reading this. I hope you reset your clocks. Grrrr!

Sunday, November 2, 2014 – Number 22 – One Last Game

Sunday, November 2, 2014 – Number 22

Mount St. Josephs is a Division III School in Ohio who plays another Division III school, Hiram, today in Women’s basketball. The NCAA gave special permission to advance the game from November 15 to today because number 22 probably will not make it to Christmas. Lauren Hill will play One Last Game.  She is 19 years old. Let her feel your thoughts and prayers as she starts today’s game at 2:00 EST.

http://www.wcpo.com/sports/college-sports/lauren-hill-mount-basketball-player-dying-of-cancer-plays-her-first-college-game-sunday

Friday, October 31, 2014 – BOO! Halloween or All Saints Eve

Friday, October 31, 2014 – Boo! Halloween or All Saints Eve?

Pick either one, but it is the day before Saturday football! The Aggies return against Louisiana- Monroe. I believe this is like a UTEP or a TAMUCommerce institution of higher learning. The mascot is the War Hawk. Sounds like another bird to me. For Texas A&M it is Game One to see if there is anything to salvage for next year.  I mean with Auburn, Missouri and LSU left on the schedule, who knows what evil lurks beyond the turf? Heck, we don’t even know who is going to be quarterback.  Some reports say Hill, but today’s reports say Allen. Coach Sumlin says “whoever runs on the field” will be quarterback.  I hope it is Johnny Manziel or Peyton Manning, but they are probably working this weekend.   I hate the 11:00 am game.  Too many Bloody Marys and it is difficult to stay awake for the afternoon games. But the prime time games should be prime time action with Auburn at Ole Miss in Oxford, The Hogs of Arkansas are in Starkville with #1 Mississippi State and the Trees of Stanford could knock out Oregon, but the game is in Eugene.  Come on Cardinal. Remember Stanford’s mascot is not the bird; it is the color.  As smart as though Stanford people are, I still do not understand The Tree.

But I do admire the Aggie strategy for this week’s game. If you do not play well, then you should always look good. The Aggies will be wearing throwback uniforms from 1939 – also known as the Year of the Only National Football Championship. The helmets are spectacular and look like retro leather helmets even with faux stitching. Even sports chatter on Yahoo says “But the helmet is just awesome. It’s the best throwback helmet we’ve seen this year in college football.” Take that Texas Tech and whatever finger painting was on your helmet.  BTHO La-Monroe.

Thursday, October 30, 2014 – To the Giants!

Thursday, October 30, 2014 – To the Giants!

Congratulations to the San Francisco Giants for winning the 2014 World Series in seven games. I do not follow much baseball since Texas does not have any professional baseball teams.  Oh, it does? Sorry. But low performing Texas teams and no HB to discuss the game with has left me with little interest.  However, I always watch the seventh game of a World Series. If you did not see it, it was literally exciting from every play made, every ball thrown, and every ball caught.  If you saw the game, you know it probably turned on the flip from the second baseman’s glove to the shortstop. So here’s to the Giants. Three World Series rings in five years!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Next week we enter the darkness and I am not just talking about a new governor. Daylights (insert your own personal descriptive adjective now) Savings Time begins Sunday. Here’s What I’m Thinking about that: I HATE IT! Remember that old TV commercial about margarine tasting like butter? The tag line was “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.”  I feel certain there is a distinct correlation between Global Warming and Daylights Savings Time.  If there wasn’t so much daylight, maybe there would not be so much melting away.  I would like to make this plea once again. Leave the time alone.  There is electricity. Tractors have lights. You can farm all year round. Speaking of time and things agricultural, it is that time of year during the Aggie football season when I begin to think – This is painful, when do my Aggie Women’s basketball tickets arrive?  Well, it was yesterday. Tomorrow, I am having lunch with Coach Gary Blair. Me and about 500 more people. I signed up for the six luncheons hosted by the team. Beats the Hell out of the Burnt Orange room.  I sure hope the food is better too.  I wonder if the Aggies still hold up newspapers while the visiting team is being introduced. It was to express our boredom with the visitors. So it’s time to hear a WHOOP for the ladies basketball team. None of whom I would want to meet in a dark alley alone.

Jon Stewart, Ebola, Texas and Austin

Jon Stewart, Ebola, Texas and Austin

And very, very funny.

https://screen.yahoo.com/videos-for-you/democalypse-2014-south-south-mess-040000213.html

Tuesday, October 28, 2014 – The Committee Meets

Tuesday, October 28, 2014 – The Committee Meets!

Today marks the day college football enters a new era. I love historic moments. The Selection Committee will choose the four teams for the first football playoff.  The rankings and selections are based on strength of schedule, head to head results, results of common opponents, championships won and other factors.  I have not looked at the other factors, but apparently there must be one religious school represented. Otherwise, why is Notre Dame even on the table?

Here is the scoop on The Committee. It is composed of “high-integrity individuals with experience as coaches, student-athletes, collegiate administrators, journalists, along with sitting athletics directors.” Their role is to create rankings seven times each year. You can Google “ncaa selection committee” to see who is on the committee, but you can bet Dr. Rice is the only female.  FYI – There are thirteen members on the committee. I wonder if triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13) was a consideration. But it means there will be no tie votes. Today is the first meeting when the committee issues their first ranking.

I have always thought there should be a position in any organizational structure called “Committee Attendee.” The job description of this position might look like this:

Wanted: Person to attend all meetings for managers and executives thus allowing them to get actual work done.

Requirements and qualifications:

Able to sit for extended periods of time

Extra-large bladder capabilities

Able to go for long periods of time with minimal food

Ability to take legible notes for boss

Ability to appear interested when bored to nausea

Ability to appear interested when committee colleagues are off topic and you want to scream things about their lack of a brain and question why they are even on the committee

Able to corral bird walking committee member back to topic diplomatically without using profanity or discussing the person’s birth status

So here’s to The Committee as they make history. Welcome to Dallas, Ya’ll. OK – it’s Grapevine.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday, October, 27, 2014

I spent the weekend with BFF Luddite who also doesn’t like college football, so I actually only saw a very few minutes of a game. Therefore, today’s awards are based on what I read on ESPN last evening when I returned home and could access the Internet on all of my devices and watch summaries on any of my flat screen TVs. Sidebar: BFF Luddite does not know her password for Wi-Fi access in her house.  If Wi-Fi goes out and she has to reboot, she calls her son in Dallas. See?) So with no further ado,

Here are the Monday after Saturday – College Football Awards for Week 9.

The Red Tide Rising Award goes to the Crimson Tide for defeating The Vols from Tennessee. The title in the East is still available.

The Don’t Worry, Be Happy Award goes to Nick Saben for the Alabama boosters paying off his $3.1 million dollar home. I guess a $7 million a year salary, just ain’t what it used to be and was just making the ends meet.

The Alert the Fire Departments Award goes to UVA for beating Oklahoma State and moving up to Number 2 in the Big 12 Standings. With their strange, hillbilly tradition of setting fires to celebrate athletic victories, if UVA upsets TCU next week they could burn down the whole damn state.

The Still Shaky Award goes to Auburn for winning again in the fourth quarter against South Carolina.

The Broken Prophylactic Award goes to the USC Trojans for losing to the Utes from Utah. FYI – that is not the Mormon one in Utah.

The Forget Me Not Award is a three way tie between Oregon, Arizona and Arizona State who are still hanging on out West with outside chances.

The OT Award goes to Penn State for almost knocking off THE Ohio State University by losing in the second overtime.

The Long Bus Ride/Thank God it Wasn’t THAT Far Back to Lubbock Award goes to the Raiders of Texas Tech for their lost to TCU 82-27. Throw your tortilla at that TT. Good thing the coach has a modeling job he can fall back on.

The Where Have You Gone Mrs. Robinson Award to goes to Baylor for fading away like a Cecil B. DeMille Ten Commandment sunset.

The Ibuprofen Award goes to TCU quarterback, Trevon Boykin, for throwing a school record seven touchdown passes before he was removed from the game in the third quarter for mercy on Tech.

The New Chant Award goes to – 82 TCU! 82 TCU! For setting a Big 12 Record for a conference game for most points scored. Fear the Frog!

The Null and Void Award goes to THE University of Texas for scoring no points against K- State in DRK Memorial Stadium. Oh well, you still have the Thanksgiving Day game to redeem yourself against Texas A&; Wait. No you don’t. You play TCU!

The What the Hell Are You Doing? Award goes to Ole Miss who had the field goal kicker on the field to go for the tie and send the game to OT, but then changed the play, returned the offensive team to the field and then went for a touchdown running a pass play, with LSU intercepting the ball to end the game. Please note the long, rambling William Faulkner like sentence in honor of Ole Miss as they lay dying and sliding down the rankings.

The Not in My House Award/Spoiler Award goes to the FIGHTIN’ TIGERS of LSU for defeating Ole Miss in another great classic. And thoughts and prayers to the Miles Family.

Friday, October 24, 2014 – GEAUX TIGERS!

Friday, October 24, 2014 – GEAUX TIGERS!

It is a College Football Lite weekend. Most of the teams are wondering what, if anything is salvageable from what was once a promising season, while others are playing for pride and the pledge of an outstanding recruit. The only game of significance is in Baton Rouge where the Ole Miss Rebels come to Death Valley, ranked and undefeated for the first time since 1962. Yes 1962! But this is a game where all the statistics fly out the window.You play strictly for the pride of your school and the rich history surrounding the two schools.  Anything can happen.  And Mike the Tiger does not like to be the “underdog” especially in Death Valley, but he does like to play spoiler. So GEAUX TIGERS!

If you want to read more about this great football rivalry, read the article below from Tiger Rag, sent to me by my cousin who made the block sending Billy Cannon down the sidelines for the 7-3 win in 1959. You can bet The Halloween Game is rocking the radio and TV stations in Louisiana today.

By JIM ENGSTER Tiger Rag President

Ole Miss is 7-0 for the first time since 1962 when the campus of Oxford erupted in violence and death as James Meredith integrated the school’s majestic campus.

At the time, Ole Miss was the best football program in America under coach Johnny Vaught. It’s taken 52 years for the Rebels to return to the glory they last enjoyed when President Obama was in diapers.

The annual hate fest between LSU and Ole Miss could return if a top-three ranking and unbeaten status accompanies the Rebels each time they face the Tigers. Between 1958 and 1962, the rivalry reached war-between-the-states proportions as LSU also hovered above the nation.

Here is a look at the LSU-Ole Miss football war in its five-year pinnacle.

Nov. 1, 1958 at Baton Rouge: No. 6 Ole Miss (6-0) vs. No. 1 LSU (6-0) Final Score: LSU 14, Ole Miss 0

Oct. 31, 1959 at Baton Rouge: No. 3 Ole Miss (6-0) vs. No. 1 LSU (6-0) Final Score: LSU 7, Ole Miss 3

Jan 1, 1960 at New Orleans (Sugar Bowl): No. 2 Ole Miss (9-1) vs. No. 3 LSU (9-1) Final Score: Ole Miss 21, LSU 0

Oct. 29, 1960 at Oxford: No. 2 Ole Miss (6-0) vs. Unranked LSU (1-4) Final Score: Ole Miss 6, LSU 6

Nov. 4, 1961 at Baton Rouge: No. 2 Ole Miss 6-0 vs. No. 7 LSU 5-1 Final Score: LSU 10 Ole Miss 7

Nov. 3. 1962 at Baton Rouge: No. 6 Ole Miss (6-0) vs. No. 4 LSU (6-0-1) Final Score: Ole Miss 15, LSU 7

In six classic games during a golden era for both programs, LSU held a 3-2-1 advantage over the mighty Rebels. The record is impressive because Ole Miss produced a record from 1958 to 1962 of 48-5-1. Vaught was 2-3-1 versus LSU and 46-2 versus the rest of the world.

In those years, Ole Miss welcomed a trip to Baton Rouge often in lieu of playing at home. The result was that LSU more than once spoiled great seasons for the Rebels.

History could repeat Saturday night as LSU brings a 6-2 mark at home against 7-0 Ole Miss, which invades Tiger Stadium with a splendid team. Whatever happens, the result will be huge news.

An LSU win proves the Tigers have returned to top-10 status. An Ole Miss win propels the men from Oxford into conference and national contention. Ole Miss has not won an SEC football championship since the 1963 team went 7-1-2. And the Rebels have not been undefeated at the end of a season since 1962.

It is exhilarating to veteran fans to envision the rage of old returning to the ancient rivalry. The LSU campus was once bombarded with inflammatory leaflets on the eve of the annual game. Vaught pleaded ignorance and blamed the stunt on his counterpart on the LSU staff.

“I thought (Paul) Dietzel’s flying days were over,” bellowed Vaught in reference to the WWII bomber pilot heroics of the LSU coach.

The game in its heyday also featured some of the greatest stars in the history of the storied gridiron battle. In 1958, Billy Cannon finished third in balloting for the Heisman Trophy. In 1959, Cannon won the Heisman and Charlie Flowers of Ole Miss finished fifth. In 1960, Jake Gibbs was third in the Heisman competition and Jerry Stovall was a close second in 1962.