Monday, October 27, 2014

Monday, October, 27, 2014

I spent the weekend with BFF Luddite who also doesn’t like college football, so I actually only saw a very few minutes of a game. Therefore, today’s awards are based on what I read on ESPN last evening when I returned home and could access the Internet on all of my devices and watch summaries on any of my flat screen TVs. Sidebar: BFF Luddite does not know her password for Wi-Fi access in her house.  If Wi-Fi goes out and she has to reboot, she calls her son in Dallas. See?) So with no further ado,

Here are the Monday after Saturday – College Football Awards for Week 9.

The Red Tide Rising Award goes to the Crimson Tide for defeating The Vols from Tennessee. The title in the East is still available.

The Don’t Worry, Be Happy Award goes to Nick Saben for the Alabama boosters paying off his $3.1 million dollar home. I guess a $7 million a year salary, just ain’t what it used to be and was just making the ends meet.

The Alert the Fire Departments Award goes to UVA for beating Oklahoma State and moving up to Number 2 in the Big 12 Standings. With their strange, hillbilly tradition of setting fires to celebrate athletic victories, if UVA upsets TCU next week they could burn down the whole damn state.

The Still Shaky Award goes to Auburn for winning again in the fourth quarter against South Carolina.

The Broken Prophylactic Award goes to the USC Trojans for losing to the Utes from Utah. FYI – that is not the Mormon one in Utah.

The Forget Me Not Award is a three way tie between Oregon, Arizona and Arizona State who are still hanging on out West with outside chances.

The OT Award goes to Penn State for almost knocking off THE Ohio State University by losing in the second overtime.

The Long Bus Ride/Thank God it Wasn’t THAT Far Back to Lubbock Award goes to the Raiders of Texas Tech for their lost to TCU 82-27. Throw your tortilla at that TT. Good thing the coach has a modeling job he can fall back on.

The Where Have You Gone Mrs. Robinson Award to goes to Baylor for fading away like a Cecil B. DeMille Ten Commandment sunset.

The Ibuprofen Award goes to TCU quarterback, Trevon Boykin, for throwing a school record seven touchdown passes before he was removed from the game in the third quarter for mercy on Tech.

The New Chant Award goes to – 82 TCU! 82 TCU! For setting a Big 12 Record for a conference game for most points scored. Fear the Frog!

The Null and Void Award goes to THE University of Texas for scoring no points against K- State in DRK Memorial Stadium. Oh well, you still have the Thanksgiving Day game to redeem yourself against Texas A&; Wait. No you don’t. You play TCU!

The What the Hell Are You Doing? Award goes to Ole Miss who had the field goal kicker on the field to go for the tie and send the game to OT, but then changed the play, returned the offensive team to the field and then went for a touchdown running a pass play, with LSU intercepting the ball to end the game. Please note the long, rambling William Faulkner like sentence in honor of Ole Miss as they lay dying and sliding down the rankings.

The Not in My House Award/Spoiler Award goes to the FIGHTIN’ TIGERS of LSU for defeating Ole Miss in another great classic. And thoughts and prayers to the Miles Family.

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