Friday, October 6, 2017 – Stage Left: The Snark Appears
Before we get to our college football Snarky Friday, let us offer congratulations to the Houston Astros for their 8-2 victory yesterday over the Boston Red Sox in Game one of the American League Division Playoffs. I would have so enjoyed seeing second baseman, Jose Altuve, become the 9th player with a 3 HR game in postseason history. But the game was not televised on TV on a reasonable channel – even for someone with has many sports channels as I have.
Therefore today, when I turn on my TV at 1:00, I better see some players in Astro uniforms getting ready to play some players in Boston Red Sox uniforms. Do not make me go 8th Grade School Teacher on you. GO ASTROS!
What is on the screens tomorrow for college football? Starting the morning at 11:00 AM we have potential Blow Outs featuring:
- Ole Miss and Auburn on SECN
- Georgia and Vanderbilt on ESPN
- Iowa State and Oklahoma on FOX
- Texas Tech and Kansas on FS1
- Wake Forest and Clemson on ESPN2.
I do not like any of those schools at this time.
At 2:30 it is time to catch the shuttle to campus to tailgate. I should arrive mid to end of first quarter for these interesting games.
- West Virginia and TCU on FS 1 – ESPN Game Day comes to you from Fort Worth, Texas. Lee Curser will look good in the Big Horned Frog head.
- LSU and Florida on CBS – Remember Troy! For Tigers’ sake, it was homecoming last weekend! Swamp. Swamp. Chomp. Chomp.
Scheduling right along;
- 4:10 Spirit Walk @ War Hymn Statue
- 4:20 Kyle Field Gates Open
- 5:00 Corps Step off @ Quad
- 5:30 – Take shuttle back home to watch:
From the Big 12 Conference which is really only 10 teams, at 6:00 on FS1 from Royal Texas Memorial Stadium. Royal Texas Memorial Stadium??? Huh? That ain’t right! That is how the ESPN app shows it, Horns.
Allow me to continue correctly. Coming to you on FS1 from Daryl K. Royal Memorial Stadium, THE University of Texas hosts the Kansas State Wildcats. To save us all time and data charges tomorrow for texting the following question: “How old is Bill Snyder?” Tomorrow is his birthday. He will be 77 years old.
May I offer this small suggestion to the Longhorn team? Do not see past the purple haze tomorrow in anticipation of seeing red next weekend.
And now a football trifecta. All three of my alma maters play tomorrow. I got papers from all three hanging on the wall.
In the Battle of the Big Thicket, also at 6:00 the Stephen F. Austin Lumberjacks play the Sam Houston State Bearkats. Ax ‘Em, Jacks! This will be on the small tablet screen streaming ESPN3.
- 5:56 Spirit of Aggieland
- 6:08 National Anthem: Texas Our Texas
- 6:15 –on ESPN – Kick-Off – BTHO ALABAMA!
- 6:16 – Ensure Smelling Salts are close by. Get Dammit Doll Ready.
First, to the Announcers:
Dear ESPN, if one of your booth mouth jockeys or whichever of you is on the ground – If you say “Battle Hymn” instead of War Hymn as you did last week, please run. Run Away Now. Run to Austin. Remember those people pictured above carry swords.
Second: Welcome to College Station, Texas, Coach Sabin (sic). I hope you like the hospitality and have a memorial experience in Kyle Field.
Third: Pardon me for yelling, but it is going to take a lot more yelling than this. OH LORD! LET THERE BE A MIRACLE ON THE BRAZOS ON SATURDAY NIGHT IN KYLE FIELD BY THE LIGHT OF THE SILVERY MOON.
PLEASE DO NOT LET THE TIDE RUNNETH OVER AND DROWN DOTH THE AGGIES.
PLEASE LET THE 12TH MAN SOUNDETH LOUD WHEN ALABAMA HAS THE BALL.
PLEASE HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH SMELLING SALTS UNTIL THE CLOCK READS 00:00 ENDING THE GAME.
PLEASE, HELP THE AGGIES BEATETH THE HELL OUT OF ALABAMA!