Monthly Archives: October 2023

Friday, October 27, 2023 – Snarky Friday

Friday, October 27, 2023 – Snarky Friday

Let’s all sing … “I’m getting married in the morning; ding dong the bells are going to chime; kick up a rumpus, but don’t lose the compass, but get me to the church on time.”

Of course I’m not getting married. But it was a good snark, huh? But I am attending a very fancy wedding in Houston at the Cohen House on the campus of Rice University. Great niece, #4 is getting married. I am very excited and looking forward to dressing up. I have not dressed up in this much finery since Baby Bush was in the White House. Of course there will be pictures.

I shall be wearing a three piece blue-gray pants suit ensemble. The embroidered top will be adorned with a lovely string of pearls. There will be make-up on the face and eyes. As you can see my nails are done in a matching color.

And of course my purse matches and ties it all together. I am calling the outfit 50 Shades of the Grey Goose. It will double as my Halloween costume.

I have no idea why the couple selected the Cohen House as a wedding venue. Not my wedding. Neither attended Rice. But the historian in me looked up the history of the setting. It is a beautiful wedding venue. First of all it is not named after the Cohen Brothers or George M. Cohen.

In the 1920’s George S. Cohen, a Houston business man and owner of Foley’s department store donated $125,000 to Rice University to build a faculty club in honor of his parents Robert I. and Agnes Cohen. The faculty club was officially opened at homecoming in November 1927. The building was enlarged in 1958 when the main dining room and terrace were added. The cost of this renovation, which was also funded by George S. and his wife Esther Cohen, was $260,000 and brought the size of the building from 7,100 square feet to 13,600 square feet. In 1976 a major renovation took place and in 1980 the Esther M. Cohen Memorial Garden and the fountain were dedicated. In 1983 the employee restrooms and locker rooms were renovated and the air-conditioning was updated. In 1985, crown molding and new wall coverings were added. In 1993 and 1994 more renovations took place to add wheelchair ramps as well as new club offices and restrooms. In 2006, further renovations replaced the ceiling in the dining room and placed early photographs of campus reprinted by Geoff Winningham from the original glass plate negatives.

You lost me at Foley’s Department Store! If you grew up in the Houston area, you remember Foley’s. I loved going to the downtown store. When I was little and we went downtown, I thought the sparkles in the sidewalk were diamonds.

As you read the Cohen House serves as the faculty club for Rice University. I am excited to breath the air of really smart people who taught and went to school there. People like Larry McMurtry – a  Rice faculty member until from about 1960, when he was a graduate student getting his MA, to 1969 when he said “I can’t teach and write.” If you are a McMurtry fan, his biography is outstanding. Wow! What an author. So many literary works. What a Texan. RL? Did you know his BA is from UNT?

Back to the wedding. Because of the wedding at 5:00 in the evening, I shall not be watching any football games this weekend. I must use my 11:00 hour for travel. Several family members expressed some concern over parking. Rice University plays Tulane at 3:00. But then again, we thought – It’s Rice and laughed! And we shall be on the other side of the campus.

Stay safe. I hope your team wins.

Thanks to Astros for a great year. Thank you, Dusty Baker.

BTHO South Carolina

Monday, October 23, 2023 – My Very Few Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 23, 2023 – My Very Few Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Just when you thought it was safe to move to a movie streaming channel, college football sent a few glimmers of hope.

But first, let me update you on Taylor Swift and Jason Kelce because I know you find it as interesting as I do. Miss Swift was seen in the Kansas City Chiefs box doing high fives with the NFL wives.

Moving on –

Let’s start with my favorite blabber mouth, Gary Danielson from CBS. I award Mr. Danielson the Beetlejuice Award. If you say three times that the Tennessee receiver juggled the ball, it will not become a touchdown. Nevertheless, it was a touchdown.

I also award Mr. Danielson the Program Program Get Your Program Award in order to know the players names. The Tennessee player’s name is Kamal Hadden. Not once, but twice, you referred to him as Kamala Harris. She is the Vice President of the United States. While I am sure there is “other duties as assigned” in her job description, playing football for Tennessee is not one of them.

To the Alabama football team I award you The Half-Time Come Back Award. What is in that Alabama Go Go Juice you drink at half-time? I need help with the cigar tradition. J. H.? Do you know? Alabama 34   UT20

Also receiving the Come Back Award is Oklahoma University.  OU 31 UCF 29.

To the referees calling THE University of Texas and The University of Houston I award you the Brown Fecal Spot Award for providing the worst ever spot of the football for U of H.  It is my understanding that the ball is placed where the runner is stopped and not where the runner is pushed back. This looks like the old Darryl K. Royal “make sure Texas wins” referee bribe. You must go way back for that. TU 31 and UH 24.

Sadly, I must award the Texas QB Another One Bites the Dust and move him to the Year of the Injured Quarterback. Seriously, I hope it is not serious. But do not put in The Arch.

I am awarding Tortilla Tech the Welcome Wagon Award. Once again the Throwers of Tortillas were the showers of good sportsmanship when a TT player was ejected for spitting on a BYU player. This was the first time since 1940 TT and BYU met. What a welcome.  Please do not spit on the Mormons. BYU 27 – Texas Tech. 14.

As stated at the beginning, there are not many awards. Next week will probably be even worse. Have a big, fancy wedding to attend on Saturday.

Let’s Go Astros! It is time to bring the bats or go home!

Friday, October 20, 2023 – Snarky Friday College Football Song – Week Eight

Friday, October 20, 2023 – Snarky Friday College Football Song – Week Eight

To the 2023 college football season: What in the world’s come over you?

I am conducting a survey. If the following YouTube video expresses how you feel college football this year, give a comment of “Yes.”

All my life, I’ve loved you so

Never dreamed, I’d miss you so

Now, alone in my room each night

My heart, it cries, “It’s just not right”

Oh, oh, oh

On a happy note – my basketball season tickets arrived.

LET”S GO ASTROS!!

Pray for peace everywhere.

Monday, October 16, 2023 – Monday Awards

Monday, October 16, 2023 – Monday Awards

“GIVE ME AN “F”

“GIVE ME A “U”

“GIVE ME A “C”

GIVE ME THE REST OF FISH CHEER from Woodstock!

What’s that spell? Worse college football season ever!

After the Aggie game I was done for the rest of the day with college football. So I did not watch any more games.  The Big Solid Swear Jar already had ten dollars in it.

Nevertheless I do have a few awards.

In spite of my intense dislike of CBS announcer, Gary Danielson, I do give him the Award for Not Closely Watching the Game But Still Talking. On one of Aggie QB Max Johnson umpteenth sacks, as Johnson stood up, Danielson said, “Oh no. Johnson is limping.” Then the camera showed Johnson arranging himself. This did not stop Gary who announced, “Oh he is just fixing himself.”

To the officials of the Texas A&M and Tennessee game I award the Hellen Keller award for Outstanding Vision. FYI refs – You are supposed to call a FACE MASK penalty when the opponent has his hands on the others face mask!

To the Oregon Ducks I award the Great Chrome Helmet Award. However, it topped the mud splatter looking uniforms. Therefore, Ducks get not only the loss to Washington, but Ugly Uniform Award too.

To Colorado – I am proud to award the Where Did You Go at Half-Time Trophy. You let Stanford come back and win the game. Stanford!

This season in college football can be named any number of Year of. Here are a few suggestions.

It is the Year of the Injured Quarterback.

It is the Year of Mediocrity.

It is the Year College Football went to Hell in a hand basket.

To Jimbo from the restless fans.

GIVE ME AN “F”

GIVE ME AN “I”

GIVE ME AN “R”

GIVE ME AN “E”

You better light some fire quickly or the word “fire” will be used as an action verb and not a noun!

Let’s Go Astros! BTHO the Rangers!

Friday, October 13, 2023 – Snark Snark Snark

Friday, October 13, 2023 – Snark Snark Snark

It is Friday the 13th, the Middle East is in flames, there is no Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, there is a snow storm in the Rocky Mountains, fires in Canada and the sun will be eclipsed tomorrow. Ready to make your sacrifices to your Gods and Goddesses?

In addition all of the above, it is the most mediocre season of college football ever. No team seems to be playing at a high level. Is this due to Portal? Is this due to NIL? Is it me? Whatever, I am just not able to express great emotion for any team.

The A schools of the SEC – Arkansas and Alabama – kick off at 11:00 on ESPN. That game will certainly be more enjoyable than Georgia and Vanderbilt on CBS at 11:00.

Texas A&M and Tennessee on CBS at 2:30. This could be The Jimbo Egress. CBS? Once again we get to hear the biased, bigoted, never ceasing talking of Gary Danielson. He has already pissed off Tennessee fans by saying there stadium is no big deal. Why can’t he call Georgia and Vanderbilt? Aggies? You can still make something out of the season besides the Texas Bowl.

Oregon and Washington on ABC at 2:30.  Evidently the break up of the Pac 12 spurred some last year heroics. Both team are undefeated..

Speaking of the Pack 12… USC plays Our Lady on the Notre Dame network NBC at 6:30. Let’s go Trojans! Reminder, the USC mascot is warrior from the Trojan War between ancient Greece and Troy and not the prophylactic.

Speaking of mediocrity, Auburn visits Death Valley in Baton Rouge to meet up with LSU on ESPN at 6:00.

Stanford and Colorado on ESPN at 9:00. I agree with Coach Prime. This is too late. Old people go to bed at this time. When the time changes in a few weeks, we will have already been in bed for several hours.

Speaking of Hail Mary… If you did not see the end of the West Virginia and University of Houston … WVa scores with 12 seconds left to take the lead. Then with 1 second and a hail Mary pass U of H scores a touchdown to win 41 to 39 and Dana probably keeps his job for the moment.

And in conclusion…

Don’t forget to wear your special sun eclipse glasses. Better yet, watch it on TV.

Pray for Peace.

BTHO Tennessee

Friday, October 6, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Six

Friday, October 6, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Six

Before we snark into college football, I wanted to update you on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, because I know that you, like me, find this is of extremely high interest. It is has not been determined if Miss Swift will be in the Kelce box this weekend or not. But HWIT – three dates and there is a U-Haul in the future. Neither has it been determined if Miss Swift’s new color of lipstick is KC Chief Red.

Onward through the fog …

Snatch up the babies and grab the old ladies and hold on to your horses. Get those Big Solid Swear Jars ready. This weekend in college football is going to be a doozy.

Let us kick off with some relatively interesting games in the morning hours.

LSU and Missouri on ESPN @ 11:00 – Tiger Tiger burning bright; Kelly’s on the hot seat, right? Missouri could go six and O! Oh my!

Maryland and Ohio State on Fox @ 11:00 – undefeated Terrapins and Buckeyes! Watch for ugly uniforms and those little pot stickers on Ohio State helmets.

To the evening hours.

Georgia and Kentucky on ESPN at 6:00– Both teams are undefeated but playing between the hedges in Georgia.  WAKE-UP UGA! Those wildkats could sneak up on you! Go Wildkats!

Arkansas at Ole Miss 6:30 on SECN – This could kinda fun. Let’s think – Hillbillies meet the Preppies. Hotty Toddy in The Grove.

Notre Dame visits Louisville on ABC at 6:37 (6:37 is what is on the schedule) My two least favorite teams in any sport!

In the Big 12 Mediocrity Bowl at 7:00 on ESPN2, we have Tortilla Tech visiting Baylor. TT red uniforms and BU green uniforms maybe? Just a reminder Christmas is just around the corner.

And now for the only two games of meaning this weekend…

But first – a riddle for Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, and THE UNIVERSITY of Texas. What does the following mean?

YOUR SEASON

It means – Your Season on the line.

First at 11:00 – THE UNIVERSITY of Texas and Oklahoma University in the Red River Rivalry on ABC. This is one of those games when you never can tell. HWIT- The winner of this contest wins the Big 12. Once again – Do not let Arch play! Save that redshirt for the SEC! Meanwhile – Boomer Sooner!

And now – the game we have all been waiting for. Alabama and Texas A&M at 2:30 on CBS. The season is on the line for both of these teams too. CBS? Oh crap! Does that mean The Motor Mouth Gary Danielson will be in the booth? Can we put him in an isolation booth?

To the Alabama QB – if you thought the cowbells of Mississippi State were loud, wait until you hear The 12th Man. And The 12th Man does not have to cease yelling when you are trying to call a play.

To the A&M Defense – Can you make it seven QB sacks in a row? Sure, go for eight, after all, is the Alabama O-Line, where the O is actually a 0 as in zero.

To Jimbo/Bobby – Do not let Max the QB run with the ball. The next in line for QB is as good as I am!

To the Texas A&M field goal kicker – May the hold be good, may your leg be strong and may your kick go “… end over end neither left nor the right, straight through the heart of them righteous uprights…” just like last time the Tide was in Kyle Field.

BTHO ALABAMA!

Monday, October 2, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Monday, October 2, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Bless the avocado because it was a Holy Guacamole Football Weekend.

My first award goes to me. I’d like to thank the psychic football goddesses for their wisdom to call it “Anything Can Happen” Weekend. Anything can happen and did it ever!

Aggies 34 Hogs 22. The most awards go to Texas A&M – I give the Aggie QB The Max Factor Award. He still needs to make-up some ground, (Get it?) To the Aggie Defense I award the Grocery Store Award for seven sacks of the quarterback. Are you listening, St. Nick? Chris Russell receives a Big Solid Award for an interception and return for a touchdown. And Ainais Smith wins the Run Forrest Run award for an 80 yard punt return.

Florida 14 and Kentucky 33 – I give the Wildcats the award for “This Was So Much FUN to Watch.” Ray Davis also receives the Frankenstein Award because he was a monster running back with 206 rushing yards in the first half. He finished with a total of 280 yards.

Georgia 27 Auburn 20 – To Georgia – I give the award to WAKE YO ASS UP! It was Auburn and you almost blew it.

Missouri 38 Vanderbilt 21 – To the Tigers of Missouri I award the Are You for Real? trophy.

LSU 49 Ole Miss 55 – To both teams, I award the Defense Stayed Home Award. Looks like the Tigers get to play for Tiger Pride Only.

Alabama 40 Mississippi State 17 – I award Alabama the She’s Got a Ticket to Ride Award as the team prepares to see what a real maroon and white defense looks like this Saturday in College Station.

Baylor 36 UCF 35 – Baylor Bears receive a pair of green and gold Poopy Undies Award and an award for Great Comeback!

USC 48 Colorado 41 – Even in defeat, the Buffaloes receive the Never Give Up Award.

Both Baylor and Colorado fans receive the Damn It. I Turned the Channel when You Were Behind 30+ Points at Half-time.

Kansas 14 Texas 40 – To THE University of Texas I award the One More Time Award. If the Horns get by Saturday, it will be all over but the crying for the Big 12.

Houston 29 Texas Tech 49 – Ouch! I am giving the Cougars of the University of Houston the Linda Ronstadt Award because “you’re no good; you’re no good, baby, you’re no good.”

Notre Dame 21 and Duke 14 – Bless me father, for I cussed a blue streak, threw a dollar in the Big Solid Swear Jar, and repeated the process. And Duke looses their QB too! I’ll give ND an award when I get back from confession.

That’s it for today, but Saturday is going to be a BIG GAMEl for several teams.

BTHO ALABAMA!