Tag Archives: University of Texas football

Friday, October 6, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Six

Friday, October 6, 2023 – Snarky Friday – Week Six

Before we snark into college football, I wanted to update you on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, because I know that you, like me, find this is of extremely high interest. It is has not been determined if Miss Swift will be in the Kelce box this weekend or not. But HWIT – three dates and there is a U-Haul in the future. Neither has it been determined if Miss Swift’s new color of lipstick is KC Chief Red.

Onward through the fog …

Snatch up the babies and grab the old ladies and hold on to your horses. Get those Big Solid Swear Jars ready. This weekend in college football is going to be a doozy.

Let us kick off with some relatively interesting games in the morning hours.

LSU and Missouri on ESPN @ 11:00 – Tiger Tiger burning bright; Kelly’s on the hot seat, right? Missouri could go six and O! Oh my!

Maryland and Ohio State on Fox @ 11:00 – undefeated Terrapins and Buckeyes! Watch for ugly uniforms and those little pot stickers on Ohio State helmets.

To the evening hours.

Georgia and Kentucky on ESPN at 6:00– Both teams are undefeated but playing between the hedges in Georgia.  WAKE-UP UGA! Those wildkats could sneak up on you! Go Wildkats!

Arkansas at Ole Miss 6:30 on SECN – This could kinda fun. Let’s think – Hillbillies meet the Preppies. Hotty Toddy in The Grove.

Notre Dame visits Louisville on ABC at 6:37 (6:37 is what is on the schedule) My two least favorite teams in any sport!

In the Big 12 Mediocrity Bowl at 7:00 on ESPN2, we have Tortilla Tech visiting Baylor. TT red uniforms and BU green uniforms maybe? Just a reminder Christmas is just around the corner.

And now for the only two games of meaning this weekend…

But first – a riddle for Alabama, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, and THE UNIVERSITY of Texas. What does the following mean?

YOUR SEASON

It means – Your Season on the line.

First at 11:00 – THE UNIVERSITY of Texas and Oklahoma University in the Red River Rivalry on ABC. This is one of those games when you never can tell. HWIT- The winner of this contest wins the Big 12. Once again – Do not let Arch play! Save that redshirt for the SEC! Meanwhile – Boomer Sooner!

And now – the game we have all been waiting for. Alabama and Texas A&M at 2:30 on CBS. The season is on the line for both of these teams too. CBS? Oh crap! Does that mean The Motor Mouth Gary Danielson will be in the booth? Can we put him in an isolation booth?

To the Alabama QB – if you thought the cowbells of Mississippi State were loud, wait until you hear The 12th Man. And The 12th Man does not have to cease yelling when you are trying to call a play.

To the A&M Defense – Can you make it seven QB sacks in a row? Sure, go for eight, after all, is the Alabama O-Line, where the O is actually a 0 as in zero.

To Jimbo/Bobby – Do not let Max the QB run with the ball. The next in line for QB is as good as I am!

To the Texas A&M field goal kicker – May the hold be good, may your leg be strong and may your kick go “… end over end neither left nor the right, straight through the heart of them righteous uprights…” just like last time the Tide was in Kyle Field.

BTHO ALABAMA!

Media Borg

Just when I think it is a safe bet no body is actually reading, somebody says, “where’s your stuff?” OK I took a break, so give me one. Actually I was just watching the flow of stupidity pass from the media to our lives. I am thinking the Media is the Borg. “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.” I am thinking we already are assimilated.

So let us see what I have been thinking.

St. Timothy Tebow’s New Eye Verse

SABIN 32:13

“And The Tide shall roll crimson over the gators.”

____

Almost Heisman Winner Again, Colt McCoy’s Prayer

“Please, God. Jordon and I promise we will always eat corn from now on and treat the kicker better. THANK YOU, JESUS!!!”

Twitter to Mack Brown from Nick Sabin “THE TIDE IS ROLLING!”

What a great football game the Big 12 Championship was. Of course not if you are from Nebraska. Texas lost in opportunity to play for the National Championship last year in the last seconds of the Texas Tech game. How fitting to win the opportunity to play for the National Championship with a single second left on the clock. Cosmic Karma.

Big 12, SEC, ESPN, ABC, NBC and any other sports organizations are screaming, “Hooray! The two best conferences in NCAA football playing for the National Championships.”

In other sports news… I think it is safe to say it ain’t gonna be a happy Christmas at the Woods’ house. I am so disappointed in Tiger Woods. But hey, he owned it. So here’s to the Borg Media, leave it alone! I do not want to see into Tiger Woods’ or any body else’s personal life. Tiger Woods is not a reality series. And to the fso-called friend who introduced Tiger to his wife. Thank you for unneeded and unnecessary media attention to yourself. I hope your game over flows with bogies, double bogies, out of bounds, bunkers and water hazards. You Shankapottumus.

Several asked: What no DWTS?

Donny Osmond won. Let’s hear it for the old guys!!! What does that tell you about the quality of the dancers? As I mentioned last year DWTS had jumped the shark, or past its prime time. And once Tom DeLay limped out, I really did not feel the need to dish the remaining contestants. Except we all know that Mya was the best dancer of all the contestants. It is just that the Mormons are quite technologically adept at voting and there always so many of them to vote.

Question of the day: I had a heart CT done this morning. My doctor recommended it as part of the women’s wellness. She had a coupon (what does this say about health care?) and I have benefits. So I go to the Heart Hospital of Austin, complete paperwork, complete more paperwork, and then go to CT room. Fully clothed, I lay down on a table; lifted my shirt to BELOW bra level, while a technician attached some electrode thingees. Then for 3 minutes the machine rolled me in and out passing under this scanner thing.

Why can’t mammograms be like this?