Tag Archives: Texas A&M University; The University of Texas at Austin

Friday, August 26, 2016 –The Official Return of Snarky Friday! College Football Rankings 2016: CFB Playoff Predictions After Preseason Way Too Early AP Poll.

Friday, August 26, 2016 –The Official Return of Snarky Friday! College Football Rankings 2016: CFB Playoff Predictions After Preseason Way Too Early AP Poll.

We are eight days from Saturday college football kickoff. Oh be still my heart. Here is the AP way too early preseason college football ranking Numbers one (1) through twenty-five (25) and my snarky comments regarding each.

Alabama – This is not news. This is Bama’s annual expectation. Roll Tide!

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College Station 2015 on the way to tailgate Aggies v. Tide – photo by me.

Clemson –The coach’s name is the same as a bathroom cleaner. Wait. The bathroom cleaner is Babo, not Dabo.

Ooooooooklahoma – where the winds come whistling down the plains. Stooping up with a Baker may just Field The Big 12 Champion. But the Sooner Schooner must leave Dallas with a victory in October.

Florida State – Learned at an early age – Never root for a football team from Florida.

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From my sister’s Magnolia High School senior trip 1954. Photo by Honeyboy.

LSU – Let us pray! First (and seriously) – Oh Lord, please watch over the state of Louisiana and its people. Second – Lord, please keep Leonard Fournette’s legs strong and keep him safe and healthy as he wins LSU’s second Heisman Trophy to sit next to Billy Cannon’s. Billy Cannon 8.10.2014 2014-08-10 003 - Copy (800x585)

Please let LSU’s second Heisman winner turn out better than Texas A&M’s second Heisman winner.

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Please let Leonard’s ankle sprain be just minor enough to not allow him to return to the game after Myles Garrett slams his ass to the turf in Kyle Field on the opening series on Thanksgiving evening. Amen. Gig ‘Em Aggies and Geaux Tigers!

Ohio State – Do not care until you play a team I care about.

Michigan – Ooh. The Big Chill. You can’t always get what you wanted, but you get what you need. Jeramiah was a bullfrog … singing Joy to the World… all the boys and girls.

Stanford –The name of the team is the Cardinal. Not the bird; the color. The mascot of the band is a tree dressed in rags. The name of the band is the Leland Stanford Junior University Marching Band (LSJUMB). They make the Rice Marching Owl Band (MOB) appear tame and organized. I am always impressed by the kitchen sink drum line. The school has never been able to come up with a mascot. This – from the university that has given us some of the greatest academic minds in history. Go figure.

Tennessee – I Volunteer no information at this time. Please check back after October 8. Oh yes, I still think your uniforms were washed with too much bleach to achieve that faded orange.

Notre Dame – Opens against THE University of Texas in Austin on September 3. I am torn between two songs I made up: For ND as a reminder of South Bend – Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life;

End over end neither left nor the right;

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights;

Drop kick me Jesus in DK R stadium on Saturday night.

2. I am leaning more toward this song. Roomie, perhaps you can think of a catchy tune to sing it to.

Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight! And please eat the leprechaun! Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight and please eat the shamrock too! Bevo Fight! Bevo Fight! For this game is your premier! Hook ‘Em! Hook ‘Em! The gang’s all here and ND can kiss my rear.

What do you think, RL?

Ole Miss – Hotty Toddy! Probation Aw Mighty! Let it Go from the movie Freeze. Zippy KangarooOh, silly me. I meant Frozen. See you in Oxford at The Grove in November.

Michigan State – I so hope you meet USC in the Latex Bowl. The Spartans and The Trojans would be so fun.

TCU – Highway 6 runs both ways and through Waco.

Washington – Do not care until you play a team I care about, she said Huskily. Besides, your games are passed my bedtime.

Houston – Highway 6 runs both ways. So does Highway 290. Let’s see if the QB and the offensive coordinator will help you play with the big boys.

UCLA – You are aware, Golden Bears, we hired your offensive coordinator? Please check back after September 3.

Iowa – Do not care. FYI – Birds do not have teeth so neither should the mascot.

Georgia – DAWGS! Uga! Always on my mind and dangerous in the SEC.

Louisville – The school mascot is not the Sluggers. The mascot is The Cardinals – the birds, as in plural, and not the color and in singular. See # 8.

USC – See # 12. I hope you meet Michigan State in the Latex Bowl. Perhaps it will be the rubber match between the two of you.

Oklahoma State – Go Pokes! Pistol Pete Rules!

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KKN’s OSU graduation weekend. Photo by me.

North Carolina – UNC NO NEW NCAA NOA? Not a code or football play. It means the NCAA added no other NOA or Notice of Allegations to UNC’s original violations. Aren’t you on probation? Or is it just men’s basketball and other athletic departments? The new document with NOA does not mention those football and basketball specifically as the original did. And the athletics department is blaming the academics departments for the grading and fraud scandals for the fake, on paperly classes, with fake attendance rolls, which results in fake grades. Good luck and Fedoras off to you.

Baylor – Baylor @ # 23? INYMI or just came out of the cave and have not seen the news, the Bear poo-pooed in the woods of the NCAA and Title IX. The big people got fired – The Art work is gone and even the Starr.

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Floyd Casey Stadium. 12.03.2013. Photo by me.

Oregon – Let’s talk about ducks! (Greater Tuna). The Nike uniform gods of glow in the dark yellows and 50 Shades of Green are alive and well.

Florida – Learned at an early age – Never pull for a football team from Florida and especially this one! Besides, the alligator can eat Reveille. What is the alligator’s name? Chomp?

Texas A&M – BTHO ucla!Sully's Boots

Sunday Morning – July 19, 2015 – The University of Texas at Austin

Sunday Morning – July 19, 2015 – The University of Texas at Austin

I was saving this until closer to football season, but what the heck. No time like the present.

If you or your children/grandchildren graduated from The University of Texas, or you or your children/grandchildren attended The University, or even if you just wear the T-Shirt from Wal-Mart, please know this. It is said with utmost respect and sincerity.

Once upon a time when I was prominent, I had the privilege and honor of working on multiple collaborative projects with some of the best and brightest people from Texas and from Texas A&M and their respective system universities. On academic, research, and intellectual levels these two institutions are the BEST in the state and yes, the world. They produce the best graduates in all fields of study at all levels. Most people are unaware of the extensive academic and research collaborations between and among the two flagships universities and their system universities.

Also, know that I think Charlie Strong is the best thing that has happened since – well, maybe signing the great Earl Campbell. And I believe (and truly hope) that Coach Strong will bring Texas back to strike fear into the Big 12 and beyond. However, Steve Patterson could be another story. I don’t think pissing off the alumni is a good thing for an AD to do, but what do I know?

So when football season begins, please know that Here’s What I’m Thinking will be equally snarky and equally praised among all teams. Aggies included. Here are some examples:

The University – (it’s the reference to the decal from the late 70’s/early 80’s) “Stay Strong. Go Swoops. Nike is just waiting for you.”

Texas A&M – “Coach Sumlin, please do not wear those Ice Uniforms again this year. They are ugly and hard to see on TV. And we got our ice whipped last time you wore them.” Or one from last season when going for a two-point conversion to not lose the game – “Who the hell called that? Only Peyton Manning or Tom Brady can make that play.”

And then there’s Texas Tech – which really stands for Tortilla Toss. Come on, Kingsbury, are you really going to wear those helmets that look like Dairy Queen baskets again this year?

See the difference in respect? 50 days until kickoff!