Monday, October 2, 2023 – My Monday After Saturday College Football Awards

Bless the avocado because it was a Holy Guacamole Football Weekend.

My first award goes to me. I’d like to thank the psychic football goddesses for their wisdom to call it “Anything Can Happen” Weekend. Anything can happen and did it ever!

Aggies 34 Hogs 22. The most awards go to Texas A&M – I give the Aggie QB The Max Factor Award. He still needs to make-up some ground, (Get it?) To the Aggie Defense I award the Grocery Store Award for seven sacks of the quarterback. Are you listening, St. Nick? Chris Russell receives a Big Solid Award for an interception and return for a touchdown. And Ainais Smith wins the Run Forrest Run award for an 80 yard punt return.

Florida 14 and Kentucky 33 – I give the Wildcats the award for “This Was So Much FUN to Watch.” Ray Davis also receives the Frankenstein Award because he was a monster running back with 206 rushing yards in the first half. He finished with a total of 280 yards.

Georgia 27 Auburn 20 – To Georgia – I give the award to WAKE YO ASS UP! It was Auburn and you almost blew it.

Missouri 38 Vanderbilt 21 – To the Tigers of Missouri I award the Are You for Real? trophy.

LSU 49 Ole Miss 55 – To both teams, I award the Defense Stayed Home Award. Looks like the Tigers get to play for Tiger Pride Only.

Alabama 40 Mississippi State 17 – I award Alabama the She’s Got a Ticket to Ride Award as the team prepares to see what a real maroon and white defense looks like this Saturday in College Station.

Baylor 36 UCF 35 – Baylor Bears receive a pair of green and gold Poopy Undies Award and an award for Great Comeback!

USC 48 Colorado 41 – Even in defeat, the Buffaloes receive the Never Give Up Award.

Both Baylor and Colorado fans receive the Damn It. I Turned the Channel when You Were Behind 30+ Points at Half-time.

Kansas 14 Texas 40 – To THE University of Texas I award the One More Time Award. If the Horns get by Saturday, it will be all over but the crying for the Big 12.

Houston 29 Texas Tech 49 – Ouch! I am giving the Cougars of the University of Houston the Linda Ronstadt Award because “you’re no good; you’re no good, baby, you’re no good.”

Notre Dame 21 and Duke 14 – Bless me father, for I cussed a blue streak, threw a dollar in the Big Solid Swear Jar, and repeated the process. And Duke looses their QB too! I’ll give ND an award when I get back from confession.

That’s it for today, but Saturday is going to be a BIG GAMEl for several teams.

BTHO ALABAMA!