Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 – Sarah Palin Will Bring Dignity?

Wednesday, July 15, 2015 – Sarah Palin Will Bring Dignity?

Cecil, this one is for you. With the 17 and counting candidates for president already running in the GOP race, Sarah Palin is their answer? Even Ms. Palin does not want to be associated with these people. The bold highlights are mine.


WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin would bring much-needed dignity to the 2016 Republican field, a new poll shows.

According to the poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, Palin’s ability to articulate her positions on issues with precision and restraint is sorely lacking among other entrants in the G.O.P. race.

Additionally, voters said that the former governor’s breadth of knowledge in the fields of economics, foreign affairs, and American history would place her head and shoulders above the current crop of Republican hopefuls.

In the words of one voter who was surveyed, “When I hear some of these candidates talk, I sure do miss Sarah Palin.”

Despite the overwhelming sense that she would contribute gravitas* and intellectual rigor that have been woefully missing from the G.O.P. contest, a Palin candidacy appears unlikely, a spokesman said.

“Governor Palin is very flattered by this poll, but she is concerned that being associated with this field of candidates could harm her stature,” he said.


* gravitas –  high seriousness (as in a person’s bearing or in the treatment of a subject) I had to look it up. Sounds like something one orders in a Tex-Mex restaurant. I’ll have an order of the gravitas.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Thursday, July 17, 2014

My sister doesn’t like it when I write about political topics. But sometimes, the Snark just slips out. Fair warning.

Dear Ms. Sarah Palin,

Please forgive the common, pedestrian greeting. Since you are the “one and done” governor of Alaska and the “one and none” Republican Vice Presidential winner, I did not know how to begin with the appropriate salutatory address. I thought ill-informed and agitator were a bit harsh and over used. I understand you are calling for the impeachment of the POTUS. How about we do some role playing? I will be Katie Couric and you can be you. Only this time, I will give you all of the questions ahead of time. And you may phone a friend, email a friend, text a friend and/or tweet a friend for any assistance you might seek. Question one. When you call for the impeachment of the President, are you representing the Republican Party or just those who like tea parties?

Now these next questions I got from one of my old 8th grade American history tests.
2. Where in the United States Constitution are impeachment proceedings addressed? Note: Page 456 in the back of the history book in not the correct answer.

3. For what reasons can the president be impeached? Note: Higher Order thinking skill – give an example of each one.

4 How many presidents of the United States have been impeached?

5. Can you give their names? What? Oh you know this? OK.Hmm. Sorry. While the number two is correct, the names are Bill Clinton and Andrew Johnson. Richard Nixon resigned before impeachment proceedings could begin. I believe both of the impeached presidents were associated with Radical Republicans.

6. What is the constitutional definition of impeachment? No. It is not the removal from office. It is the bringing of charges for impeachment. FYI – No child under the age of 12 knew what a blowjob was until the Republicans impeached President Clinton.

7. Who originates the impeachment process? No, I’m sorry. The American people is incorrect.The House of Representatives brings charges of impeachment.

These next questions are from me.
8. What is the party majority in the United States Senate? The reason for this question regards the process following an impeachment verdict. The U. S. Senate tries the case and has the power to remove an individual from office.

9. Do you have any one in mind to serve as Special Prosecutor? I think the guy who was the special prosecutor in the Clinton trial works at a Baptist university in Texas. I know for a fact that he has really good seats for women’s and men’s basketball in the Ferrell Center. And at graduation he gets to lead all of the faculty and graduates into the Ferrell Center wearing this really, really big gold necklace. It is really cool. So I do not think you have much of a shot at getting him back.

10. Are you familiar with the constitutional term ‘”lame duck?” No, not an injured or crippled fowl.

11. How much do you estimate an impeachment trial would cost the tax payers during a lame duck term?

12. Are you aware that your name spelled backwards is Nilap Haras?

Get back to me when your handlers have prepped you with answers.

Former 8th grade American history school teacher
Cc Tina Fey and Amy Pohler

The Nobel Peace Prize

Nobel Prize

I woke up Friday surprised to find out that President Barack Obama was awarded the Nobel Prize for peace.  I texted a couple of friends immediately. They were already aware of it since it had been announced at a time when working people are getting ready to go to their jobs. By the time I learned about it at mid morning, my friends were already way deep into listening to what The Meanest Mass Media had to say. The usual Media Mouths were well into spewing forth The Uglies about Obama winning. It took me a while to catch up with the comments from the Beckites and Rushing Loudbaughetts. But let’s see what the locals thought first.

H.D. Brands, Professor of history at the University of Texas, and a super nice person, said the winning was “premature.”  Maybe it is the Nobel Premature Peace Prize for Promise.

Michael McCaul, R-Representative said “it was like awarding The Heisman Trophy in September.” Nice analogy. Remember, it’s Austin and the winner of the Heisman Trophy is on the front burner orange. Make that burnt orange burner.

The Lt. Governor, Republican, David Dewhurst, said on Twitter “Is @BarackObama more deserving of a Nobel Peace than President Reagan?” Your Lieutenantship, we know you are a really cool guy and showing how you can tweet does have a certain ‘cool-guy’ appeal. But check with Dr. Brands for more timely analogous references. Granted, Ronald, “Mr. GORBACHEV, tear down this wall,” Reagan, would have definitely been Nobel material, but our current economic situation can partially be traced to Reganomics. More importantly the audience who remembers Reagan does not Twitter. Besides, unless Mr. Reagan was nominated prior to his death, the award cannot be given posthumously. BTW – Mikhail Gorbachev was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1990.

U.S. Senator, John Crony, R-Austin, said “Ordinarily it’s awarded for accomplishments.”

With all due respect, Senator Crony, do you really know why the award is given?

According to Alfred Nobel’s will, the Peace Prize should be awarded to the person who:

during the preceding year […] shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses.[1]

You get the prize for trying to make the world a better place to live. Getting Dick Cheney out and not letting Sarah Palin in is good enough reason for me to give the prize to Obama.

Next Question. How many people can win and what are the categories to win?

Up to three individuals in the categories of Physics, Chemistry, Medicine, Literature and Peace may be awarded a Nobel Prize.

Next. Can you name any other Americans who won a Nobel Prize?  OK, how about just in 2009?

Individuals representing the United States won in the following categories. Physics (2 of 3 winners) Medicine (3 winners), Chemistry (1 of 3 winners), Peace (1of 1 winner)

The United States won 7 of the 11 prizes available. That is 77% of the total prizes available.



What is the nomination process?

“Each year the respective Nobel Committees send individual invitations to thousands of members of academies, university professors, scientists from numerous countries, previous Nobel Laureates, members of parliamentary assemblies and others, asking them to submit candidates for the Nobel Prizes for the coming year. These nominators are chosen in such a way that as many countries and universities as possible are represented over time.” http://nobelprize.org/nomination/

So to the Becketts and Rushing Loudbaugherettes, here’s what I’m thinking.

I see the problem here. To be nominated for a Nobel prize invitations are sent to people who are intelligent, diverse, academic-oriented, science oriented, free thinking individuals from all walks of life throughout the world. No wonder you do not know who these people are and did not receive an invitation.

It is not your prize to give. It is a result of the instructions contained in the will of Alfred Nobel.  If you want to control this, get your lawyers working on suing the Nobel Foundation. Otherwise you are reflecting the antithesis of the purpose of the prize.

The award is not won because it is not a competition. The peace award is given by a five member committee made up of Norwegians. You know those people in those nice sweaters. There were 205 nominations in the peace category alone. I am OK with the awarding for the “promise of peace.” It is not given for chasing camels. It is about playing nice in the world.

Turning around the words of former president Bush, “If you are not with us, you are against us.” So does that mean you are against peace?

You scream “politics.” That is true.  The name of the global game is politics. It is known as diplomacy.

Basically, Republicans, you are just pissed that you did not think of nominating the previous administration. But then again, they don’t give the prize for bombing innocent countries, torturing human beings and riding rough shod over the world like an ego-driven cowboy from the wild west looking for non existent weapons of mass destruction.

Couldn’t we just listen to The Beatles and John Lennon and Give Peace a Chance? Does it really matter who brings it?