Here's What I'm Thinking

While I think Amazon.com is one of the greatest things to come along since Velcro it does freak me out when they project my interests.  I received this email the other day.

Dear Amazon.com Customer,

We’ve noticed that customers who have purchased or rated The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas have also purchased Big Pun: The Legacy on DVD. For this reason, you might like to know that Big Pun: The Legacy will be released on September 28, 2010.  You can pre-order yours by following the link below.

Big Pun: The Legacy chronicles the life of the Grammy Nominated artist Big Pun aka Christopher Rios, a Puerto Rican from the Bronx who made history by becoming the first Latino rapper to sell over a million records. Final footage of Big Pun one day before his death. Includes never before heard Big Pun track.

Explain to me this. What exactly is the comparative aspect of these two DVDs? I do not recall Burt Reynolds or Dolly Parton rapping in Puerto Rican in the Best Little Whorehouse movie. I also missed Houston’s Channel 13, KTRK’s,  the late Marvin Zindler rapping as he broke the news that Texas had a whorehouse in it referring of course to the actual chicken ranch in LaGrange. This gave rise to one of many great lines from BLW “… and that came as news to any child under the age of two and anybody who lived in Texas for less than two weeks.”

Maybe the Ladies of LaGrange were similar to the Ladies of the Bronx. Maybe Miss Mona moved to the Bronx and became an inspiration for Big Pun. Anyway Amazon seemed to find some comparison.  However, I will not be ordering Big Pun.

Nothing Comes Between Me & My Calvins

Remember the 1980’s Calvin Klein jean commercial with a 15 year old Brooke Sheilds provocatively purring about nothing coming between her and her Calvins?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK2VZgJ4AoM

Recently on the Ellen DeGeneres show, Brooke declared she could still fit into that size jean.  At 45 she can still fit into the same size jeans she wore at age 15.

http://www.stylelist.com/2010/09/22/brooke-shields-ellen-calvin-klein-jeans-ad/

Guess what Brooke and Calvin?  So can I at age 61. I wear the same size blue jeans I wore in high school and college(s). So “nothing comes between me and my Wranglers.” Except Hanes underwear.

Lights Out

“Turn Out the lights; the party’s over. They say that all, good things must end.” I used to love to hear Dandy Don Meridith sing that on Monday Night Football. It signaled the end of the game whether the game was officially over or not.  Now the lyrics literally signal the end of an era.

GE’s Winchester, Virginia’s incandescent light bulb factory is closing.  It began making Thomas Edison’s new invention in the late 1800’s shortly after the glowing bulb was introduced. At one time the factor produced over three billion bulbs a year. Now we must use those more expensive, difficult to dispose of, energy-efficient curly light bulbs.

http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/money/lights-out-for-ge-light-bulb-factory-in-winchester-092410

Once again, American jobs shipped overseas and south of the Rio Grande. The articles states you can get a three-way bulb in Mexico.  I am thinking you can get any kind of three-way you want in Mexico.

So the incandescent light bulb goes the way of the VCR, film cameras and Democrats in Texas.

How do you say “Turn the light on,” in Chinese?

Will the grief counselors for the Aggie fans from last Thursday please report to Austin? The University of Texas football team dropped out of the  AP Top 25 football teams for the first time in ten years, has recorded two consecutive losses for the first time in Mack Brown history, and must travel to Lincoln to meet the Nebraska Cornhuskers in two weeks.

Counselors, plan to stay the remainder of the football season.

Dumb Ass! Dumb Ass! Dumb Ass!

On August 10, 2010, Anita Hanson, an African American woman married to a white man, called Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s show to ask for advice on dealing with racial comments made by acquaintances. During the call, Schlessinger used the word “nigger” 11 times, saying that using the word was not racist, and continuing to use it after Hanson asked, “Is it ever OK to say that word?” Schlessinger attempted to justify her use by saying, “Black guys use it all the time.” After the call Schlesinger said, “If you’re that hypersensitive about color and don’t have a sense of humor, don’t marry out of your race.” One day later Schlessinger apologized. Hanson questioned the motivation and sincerity of Schlessinger’s apology, believing it to be result of being “caught” Hanson also said that Schlessinger made no apology regarding her comments on interracial marriage.

Schlesinger announced she would end her radio show at the end of 2010:

“I have made the decision not to do radio anymore. I want to regain my First Amendment rights. I want to be able to say what is on my mind.”Schlesinger stated that she will not retire.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger

I believe, Dr. Laura, that you cited the HBO network as the level accepted or the norm. They say a lot more than dumb ass and the “N” word on HBO too. Since when does the HBO network become the standard for social etiquette? I did not think social conservatives even watched premium cable TV. Even I get shocked at some of the programs I view on cable TV. If I had people living in my house under the age of 25, I would not subscribe to it.  I would only have basic TV. You know the kind with five channels in English and 10 in Spanish.

In your statement, you “want to regain your First Amendment rights.” When did you loose your First Amendment rights? I ask this as I write using my First Amendment rights to call you a Dumb Ass.

What does the First Amendment say?

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

That’s right. You have every right to scream your opinion at the top of your lungs. However, do not forget. The First Amendment gives me the right to stand on the opposite side and scream my opinion.

Just because you can say something verbally and/or in print does not always mean you should. Let’s not forget that freedom of speech, press, assembly and religion applies to all of the people. Remember it is “WE, the people…” not just the ones certain individuals get to choose.

So that means the First Amendment applies to Terry Jones, the Dumb Ass from Florida (oh, is that redundant?). http://abcnews.go.com/US/terry-jones-pastor-burn-koran-day/story?id=11575665 who wanted to burn the Koran.

The great philosopher, Jimmy Buffet, sings, ironically in the song Fruitcakes, that there is a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Religion’s in the hands of some crazy ass people. So it seems. Personally, I have difficulty going to church when the preacher wears a gun in the pulpit.

It seems that the entire world, with the exception of the dozen or so members of Jones’ church, were against burning the holy book of the Muslim religion. Nevertheless, regardless of how offensive and detestable the act is, Pastor Jones has the right to do so as guaranteed by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution.

So that makes Dr. Laura and Preacher Jones both exercising their first amendment rights.  Unfortunately, the Constitution does not say anything about the right to be stupid or the right to be hateful. Obviously that equality phrasing does not refer to intelligence, common sense and good judgment.

I am thankful the quran burning did not take place. It seems the Reverend Jones has changed his mission.  But just in case, Mr. Jones, Dr. Laura said to tell you, “The Sheriff is Near!”

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/quran_burning

Dear Parent and Taxpayer,

Thank you for your interest in your child’s assessment. The following is a response to your question.  As you know the testing company does not give answers, just responses.

The testing/assessment industry has yet to determine the testing format. Students should be prepared to respond in all formats – essay, short answer, and multiple choice. This allows for more money to be spent in development of test preparation materials, training of teachers, training of test proctors and tutoring opportunities. Training materials, such as testing instructional manuals, can be developed for all formats, thus costing more money and killing more trees due to the expanse of paper oriented testing materials.

All students must use yellow #2 Ticondergo pencils with pink erasers.  Two pencils will be provided to each student.  This comes out of the assessment budget. These are funds that could be spent on other instructional items, but the state finance auditors note that these pencils may only be used for testing purposes.

Once all students have taken all of the tests the state department of education will adjust the scores to reflect passing grades for the majority of the students so it appears US students are competitive with other students in the world.

Again, thank you for your interest. We look forward to assessing your child and taking your tax dollars.

Sincerely,

Spearson

Big Testing Company

TO:                  The Teacher

FROM:           The Principal

SUBJECT:      The Student

DATE:             September 8, 2010

Teacher, please check the DO NOT ADMIT list. Please excuse the AYUHCOO golf team for Friday, September 3. With temperatures in the low 70’s, the golf team played in the Impromptu Good Weather Golf Tournament.  The team shot 48 on nine holes, coming in first of four players. Also, the AYUHCOO golf team did Community Service at the Round Rock Express Game by being Booth Babe.

Therefore, the golf team’s second assignment regarding the U.S. Constitution and the First Amendment will be due later in the week.