Shoot Me

Shoot Me

Shoot Me. Just shoot me now.

I would rather have a hot water high colonic AND a root canal without anesthesia than watch Bristol Palin on Dancing With the Stars. In fact I would rather have both of the above mentioned procedures AND have a bunion removed than to watch anybody on Dancing With the Stars. Period.

The show enters its 11th season tonight. If you recall, I said I thought the show was too old two years ago. And then along came Dancing Tom DeLay shaking his booty in high definition.  It almost sent me over the top. I could no longer watch.

When the show first appeared, it paired some relatively well-known people, with little known, but exceptionally good ballroom dancers.  Most of them are anchor children from Russia, but that is another story. Now it seems the dancers are at least, if not more famous than the “stars.” Who makes up this year’s DWTS reality show cast/line hopefuls?

Mike “The Situation” I Forgot His Last Name– Reality show. Jersey Shore. Don’t watch.

Audrina Patridge- Another reality show “star from The Hills. Her bio has the words “naked pictures” in it.  Perhaps there will be dance which calls for a pole.

David Hasselhoff- Another Baywatch star to hit the dance floor.  And we all remember how spectacular Baywatch was and what great stars it produced.

Kyle Massey – Disney, baby rapper.

Rick Fox- Don’t follow the NBA. His bio states “This NBA star has been married to Vanessa Willams, hooked up with Eliza Dushku, Alicia Keys, Mariah Carey, and even Sharon Stone.” In what way has Mr. Fox hooked up with all these famous women? NBA players. Ow! Brings flash backs of Clyde Drexler.

Michael Bolton- Just cause you can sing does not mean you can dance.  Let’s hope this is not the case with MB.

Brandy- “Brandy, you’re a fine girl, what a good wife you’d be?” Oh, wrong Brandy? You go, Girl. You might can win this.

Kurt Warner- Just how sexy can Mr. Nice Guy get?

Jennifer Grey- daughter of Joel “Cabaret” Grey and starred in Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze. And she was engaged to Matthew Broderick and Johnny Depp and dated George Stephanopoulos. Probably not at the same time. But any woman with that many cool dudes in her life has got to be cool too. This is my pick. Let’s just hope there is a voting fan base.

Margaret Cho – ain’t no Kristi Yamaguchi, but could be fun to watch.

Florence Henderson- Betty White too busy? Mother Brady and Wesson Oil.  Now there’s an image I don’t want to think about. Florence probably doesn’t want to think about her hair do in this video.

Let’s hope you can dance better than you can sing.

And of course Bristol Palin. Remind me again. What exactly is Bristol famous for? I wonder if she will dance to the Dovelle’s Bristol stomp.

Will there be a Smokey The Bear waltz for all the Mama Grizzlies with Big Mama in the front row? Will Salin Palin order the Tea Party Express to vote for her daughter or she will withhold endorsements? The excitement awaits in season eleven.

I would rather see Bristol and all of the others on Wipe Out. A campaign to get Bristol on Wipe Out might be worth subscribing to Face Book. Good Night. And Big Balls. And Big Ballrooms.

3 responses to “Shoot Me

  1. davisoftheapes1

    Why don’t you just turn the channel?


  2. Turning the channel. A magnificent strategy, which I employed.
    Probably a better strategy would be to just turn off the TV.


  3. I really admire Jennifer Grey’s tribute to Patrick Swayze on DWTS. Last night was just special. They got to dance to a song that is so iconic and it triggered great souvenirs.


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