Category Archives: Uncategorized

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Academic Tuesday

A Comparative Analysis of Television and Cable Communication Systems of Major Collegiate Institutions during the Annual Autumnal Football Season

Today, students, we are going to compare The Longhorn Network (LHN) with the SEC Network (SEC). Let’s begin.

Monday, September 8, 2014

College Football – Week Two

This week in college football was the David and Goliath of conferences. It is when smaller colleges and universities get to play with big colleges and universities. It is also known as the major Fundraising Weekend for the Athletic Department for the smaller schools. So my awards today are:

Most points scored with a whopping 73 – it is a tie between Clemson and Texas A&M. Second place goes to Baylor with 70.

Largest margin of victory – It is Texas A&M for 70 to 3 over Lamar. The game began after two hour and ten minute delays when 180 lighten strikes were recorded. But never fear the First Lady of Aggieland was prepared.

The Almost Blew award in the Big 12 goes to Kansas State for having to come from behind to beat Iowa State. Why does the Big 12 even play a school with a weather pattern for a mascot? I always think Iowa State is USC. There must be some kind of copyright infringement for one of them.

For Being Able to Play with the Big Boys – it is a tie between McNeese who gave Nebraska a run for the cornfields and UTSA for hanging tough with Arizona until the bitter 1:02 seconds left in the game. You better be ready Oklahoma State. Those Texas boys can play.

Ugly Uniforms, including Helmets – It is Oregon, who else? But you did knock out Michigan State, so wear whatever you want.

The Patsy Cline – I Fall to Pieces Award– It is The University Texas. And it is not going to get any easier. And It Keeps Right on a Hurting…

The Best Team of the Week Award goes to – Virginia Tech for upsetting the previously #8 ranked, THE Ohio State University. And we do the Hokey Pokey as the Aggies rise in the polls to number seven.

The Way to Hang Tough Award – goes to Sam Houston State, Lamar, Toledo, Northwestern and all of the smaller schools who lost the game on the first play or the first series, but stayed until the time ran off the clock.

First Yell 2014

Friday, September 5, 2014

My apologies for being late.  Tonight is First Yell and Midnight Yell Practice so I had to take a long nap in order to stay awake.  First Yell 2014 is a relatively new tradition that features a concert in Reed Arena prior to Midnight Yell. This year it is booked as Texas Dance Hall Legends. Performing are: Johnny Bush, Gary P. Nunn, Joe Ely, Roger Creager and Max Stallings. Well, I think I have spent enough time in Texas dance halls to have a feel for the environment. My beer does not cost $5.00 a bottle or can or whatever container it has to be in to meet rules and regulations of the TABC. This event begins at 8:00 followed by Midnight Yell Practice. Actually I am not attending either event. I do not have a date nor do I have a cigarette lighter to attend Midnight Yell. I wonder if cell phones have replaced lighters. For the uninformed and/or uninitiated, at Midnight Yell Practices when they turn the lights off, you are supposed to kiss your date or hold the lighter or cell phone above your head to show that you are not with anyone.You do this until the lights come back on. I can do this at home too..The fact that Midnight Yell Practice averages 30,000 in attendance has nothing to do with the fact I am not leaving my house. Nor will I be attending the game in the newly renovated Kyle Field because that is three times Yell Practice attendance.  However, should any of you plan on attending know that with the new design there are THREE women’s bathrooms to each ONE men’s bathroom. There had to be a woman on the planning committee.  The other item new to Kyle Field concessions is a fried hot dog.  I am suspicious of that. I hope there are enough bathrooms.  Gig’Em.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Good Morning, Class.  Our vocabulary word for the day is “trill.” By the end of this paragraph you should be able to give the origin of the word; the definition; it’s classification as a part of speech; plus the new usage of the term. And finally, as your higher order thinking skill, you must be able to use the word in a sentence. 

The origin of the word lies in a rap song.  It is a hybrid or combination of the words “truth” and “real.” Wouldn’t that be “treal?” Perhaps it is the accent. Besides what is a hybrid word? Isn’t that just a word you made up? The word can be used as a noun or an adjective. It is used both as a proper noun and to describe the skills and attributes of the proper noun. It cannot be used as an adverb, because that would be trilly. That is a new hybrid word for tried, but silly.

The new usage of the term is that it is the adopted nickname of Kenny Hill. Rather than Kenny Football, the Texas A&M quarterback has chosen Kenny Trill. Or Kenny Truth and Real.  Let’s hope so.

And for your higher order thinking skill our sentence is:  Kenny Trill will lead his team to BTHO Lamar.

I hope you paid special attention to today’s lesson.  It could be on the test!

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Last Saturday as I was cleaning, I looked out my beveled glass pane in my front door just in time to see the Jehovah Witnesses walking around down street. Now don’t get me wrong. I respect a belief system that has a major tenet that includes “Thou will have many doors slammed in your face.” Nevertheless, I ran to the back of house and hid safely in the study. These four women resembled Sister Wives. You know – long, ugly print dress that was originally designated for furniture, big hair and very ugly shoes. Turns out it was neither the Jehovah Witnesses nor the Mormons, but rather the Pentecosts. They left a small calling card at my front door. Here’s what I’m thinking. Should solicitors for any purpose ring your door bell, I have developed a few strategies. This first one is tested, tried and true. Open the door wearing shorts, a T-Shirt, Birkenstocks and your motorcycle helmet. The second one, not attempted, but should work theoretically. Open the door wearing only a towel. On your head. Before they can recover, jump alongside one of them and take a selfie from the waist up. Under no circumstances should you invite them in for dinner. However, inviting them in is tested, tried and true too. Just ask my sister.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

There was once a governor named Rick Perry,

Whose presidential aspirations were scary,

But he got indicted for power abuse,

Which is just another way of saying “Oops.”

All because of a DA named Rosemary.