Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Last Saturday as I was cleaning, I looked out my beveled glass pane in my front door just in time to see the Jehovah Witnesses walking around down street. Now don’t get me wrong. I respect a belief system that has a major tenet that includes “Thou will have many doors slammed in your face.” Nevertheless, I ran to the back of house and hid safely in the study. These four women resembled Sister Wives. You know – long, ugly print dress that was originally designated for furniture, big hair and very ugly shoes. Turns out it was neither the Jehovah Witnesses nor the Mormons, but rather the Pentecosts. They left a small calling card at my front door. Here’s what I’m thinking. Should solicitors for any purpose ring your door bell, I have developed a few strategies. This first one is tested, tried and true. Open the door wearing shorts, a T-Shirt, Birkenstocks and your motorcycle helmet. The second one, not attempted, but should work theoretically. Open the door wearing only a towel. On your head. Before they can recover, jump alongside one of them and take a selfie from the waist up. Under no circumstances should you invite them in for dinner. However, inviting them in is tested, tried and true too. Just ask my sister.