Tag Archives: Christmas decorations

Tuesday, November 29, 2016 – Decorate! Decorate! Dance to the Music.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016 – Decorate! Decorate! Dance to the Music.

Does anyone remember when I lived in the duplex in Panorama? Plastic lawn ornaments were the lawn decoration of the day. My deeply devout Catholic neighbor placed a lighted plastic Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus in the monkey grass between our houses. Baby Jesus’ light shorted out and blinked on and off nightly as if giving random communications to aliens. Maybe it was.

Here are some other lawn ornaments for your consideration – courtesy of me and Lowes.

What says Christmas more than Snoopy sitting on the fireplace burning his butt?snoopy-snowman-800x450

Notice to the right there is the brown snowman – snow person.  I think this is for people of color or those who live in highly polluted areas. It could also the parson brown from the song “… in the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is parson brown.”

In this lovely latex scene we have the Big Foot snowman descending on Santa Claus and the reindeer.santa-and-snow-man-800x450

But my favorite, in keeping with season is the inflatable nativity scene. nativity-800x450

If you examine closely, Mary’s headwear resembles the little paper top you are given when you get a mammogram. One must use their imagination and Sunday school experiences and not think the BJ looks like a small box of pampers.

The reindeer on the roof is from the Big Foot eating Santa display, but does add a certain element to the display. Up on the roof top, reindeer pause…

It is the placements of the lights that baffle me. Mary’s right breast and Joseph’s nether region appear to be lit. Given rain, squirrels and neighborhood mischief with BB guns, it is entirely possible electrical issues could occur. This creates unanticipated light shows that resemble random communications with aliens.

Then again, random communication with aliens with THE LIGHT is what it was all about in the first place. So light ‘em up and decorate, decorate and dance to the music.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016 – It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas! And a Contest Too!

Wednesday, October 19, 2016 – It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas! And a Contest Too!

Sing along.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

And it’s not even Halloween!

We still have Thanksgiving to go

And we know there won’t be any snow

Because it’s October right now and still 90 degrees!

I went to Lowe’s hardware the other day for something and all types of Christmas decorations are ready to place in a commercial celebration of lights for homes and lawns across neighborhoods everywhere.

Therefore I have decided to conduct contest. You get to vote on which Christmas decoration you think would most irritate my Home Owners Association. Let’s look at our first round of entries. Oh yes, feel free to vote early and often.

Our first entry is the Winter Wonderland of Wire. This lovely entry has The Two Dogs of Christmas wired in their holiday wardrobe guarding The Wild Deer of Wire.wire-yard-things-800x450

Behind the wiener wire dogs stand three large wire figures representing snow people. I noticed the one in the back in darker than the white one in the center. Is this supposed to be an ethnic snowman or just one who happens to live in an area of high pollution? Notice the smaller snow person in front. Is this the snow love child of the other two?

Moving on to the second entry we have the projectors. These are actually pretty cool. One plugs the projector into an electrical outlet and lights and messages are projected on to your house. countdown-800x450In this example a countdown of days is projected. I do not think a countdown of days of any type would go over well in my retirement hood.


fireworks-800x450The red projector in the center is one of my favorites. It projects fireworks and has the accompanying sounds. Who wouldn’t want their neighborhood to sound like gun fire all night?

And nothing says Christmas better in Texas than a blue wire penguin standing next to a four foot tall ice blue Eiffel Tower.blue-eiffle-tower-800x450

Today’s entries to determine which tacky decorations would most likely irritate my HOA are:

  1. Winter wonderland of wire
  2. Countdown projection
  3. Fireworks and gun fire projection
  4. Penguins from Antarctica
  5. Eiffel Tower

Later we will look at large inflatables for lawn display. One again, nothing notes the holiday season better than a giant condom sitting in your front yard.

Happy Halloween. Vote early. Vote often.