Here's What I'm Thinking

Wacky Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Bet you can’t eat just one. Remember that tag line for Lay’s Potato Chips? I am thinking now it should be “Why would you want to each just one?” Did you see where Lay’s is testing two new flavors of potato chips? Cappuccino and Wasabi Vinegar. Really? Do you really want to eat Cappuccino chips with your bologna sandwich? Where was this test market? At a late night Asian fusion food court? And what were the participants smoking during the tests? What were Lay’s executives smoking when they thought – Hey let’s make some chips out of some really crazy flavors and see if the public will buy it. Why don’t you, as in the Lay’s Corporation, just go ahead and make a liver and onions flavor chip? Pack it full of iron and advertise it as medicinal for iron poor blood. Partner with Geritol and work the Medicare market place. Why don’t you make of beer flavored chip and then you can leave off the beer. I really do not see myself making a purchase of either flavor. I think Lay’s potato chips are the best in the world. If it is not broken, then don’t fix it. And do not serve Cappuccino and Wasabi chips at a party if I am attending. But perhaps you could send them on the space ship if Midland ever gets their FAA approval. Hey! What about prairie chicken flavor chips?

My Book Report

My book report is about The One & Only by Emily Giffin. It says it is a New York bestseller, and maybe people from New York liked it, but I did not. I heard it was about football. College football to be more exact. It is about a fake college somewhere in Texas called Walker and the mascot is a Bronco. I am thinking SMU and Peruna or whatever the pony’s name is because it takes place close to Dallas. Well, if you think a sentence like “We beat Baylor 21-0 to open the season and then I wrote my article” is about football, then read it. But there are many sentences that tell me it needs more football. For example, “the next week Walker prepared for Texas. I hate Texas.” OK that part is good. But how about sentences with Camp Waldemar and The Hockaday School as the descriptors of characters? Do they play football there? Here is one “I went to SMU and Barry went to Rice, but we both went to Highland Park High.” And then there are these. “We massacred UTEP to open our season at 2-0…” “…our first true test was Texas A&M next week. I hated the University of Texas the most, but in some ways I feared the Aggies more.” Well, the Aggies ran out of time in your story and Walker goes 3-0. At least you feared the Aggies. Oh yes, then there is the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys – a Walker All-American of course and Heisman runner up. Then they all go to “a little hole-in-the-wall bar on North Potomac called the Third Rail.” North Potomac? In Texas? Wouldn’t Mockingbird Lane be a better street for hole in the wall bars? The Potomac is in Washington DC.

The bottom line of my book report is that it is not really about football. I do not believe Ms. Giffin is from Texas. Otherwise, there would have been more high school football, more college football, more scandals and more NCAA investigation and less falling in love.

My recommendation is that if you find this book at a half-price book store – or even better at a garage sale for 25 cents – and have nothing else to do for a few days, then buy it. The End.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Today is Post 115.

I have a personal trainer. I meet with her three times per week for an hour of torture at 8 AM. Yes, that is 8 in the morning. If you think that is early, I am her fourth client of the day. We are both crazy. So I have decided to give her a name. It is Killer Queen, from the song by who else, my favorite – Queen! I hope she is not offended by this. I like to think of myself as described in KQ too. The opening lines “She keeps Moet Et Chandon in her pretty cabinet; ‘Let them eat cake’ she says Just like Marie Antoinette” describe us as ladies, who can whip your ass both literally and figuratively. But here are the words that really describe us both: “Gunpowder, gelatin, dynamite with a laser beam, guaranteed to blow your mind.” I am going to call her Killer Queen because not only do the words describe us, she kills me for an hour, but is the Queen of doing it. Have I mentioned I haven’t worn my current size pants or shorts since Clinton was president? Actually I wore this size when I was in college and the college was Stephen F. Austin in 1970. Aside from the killer body that Killer Queen is creating, most importantly is that I have cut out two meds with normal blood pressure and blood sugar. So what Queen best song describes you? Oh, Fat Bottom Girls? Ouch. How’s that for dynamite with a laser beam?

Happy Birthday, Cousin Nancy. I still miss you so much.

July 3 – July 7, 2014

Food, Fun and Friendship in the Brazos Valley

You know the saying about fish and company and smelling after three days? Since my friend, Karen Y. doesn’t read this, I can say it was a long visit. But it was a most fun visit. On Thursday, July 3, we had a great dinner at Napa Flats and then enjoyed a glass of wine at the Benjamin Knox Wine Bar and Gallery. Friday, July 4 was spent at the George H. W. Bush Library. We had free watermelon and Blue Bell was a dollar. The Brazos Valley Symphony entertained us with patriot songs. The fireworks were a good, Republican modest type. Not too bright and not too showy, probably about a thousand points of light per explosion. But I am pleased with my first attempt at night photography.

On Saturday, we started the day about noon with a burger from Grub Burger. In spite of the possibility that the burgers were made with actual grubs (another TAMU experiment), they turned out to be delicious and gave us enough energy to tour campus.

Walking in the hot temperatures, however, soon created an intense thirst. So we went to the Dixie Chicken for a pitcher. I mean a picture. I was glad the rattlesnakes were gone. Nothing, but a ply board covers the glass where they used to be.

On Sunday morning, we went to the Bonfire Memorial. Each of the twelve who died in the collapse is memorialized by a column that faces their hometown. On one side of the column is an engraved image of their face and information about their Aggie life. On the opposite column is their signature and personal attributes by family and friends creating a legacy of their sacrifice and what the world missed with their untimely deaths. I was unable to read those because of the blur by the tears because “We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we.”

It was only fitting that Sunday evening was spent at Lake Bryan watching the sunset from the deck of the Ice House.

That’s it from the Brazos Valley today.

July 4, 2014

Friday, July 4, 2014 – “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose…” And the singer of that song is? Extra credit if you can name the song and extra extra credit if you can name the songwriter. Today is July 4 – the birthday of our country. To celebrate the occasion, I am going to the George HW Bush (# 41) library celebration this evening. I will be wearing my Republican red shorts, from L.L. Bean and made in China and a beautiful white T-shirt with an American flag that was made in Mexico. How American is that? Wearing cloths imported from another country. I am going to watch the fireworks. But the George Bush library is open from 9 am to 8:15 this evening. Admission is free. One can take a shuttle bus to the library. It is free also. The Brazos Valley Symphony is playing. Yeah, I was surprised BCS has a symphony too. So not only is this a celebration of freedom, it is a celebration of Republicans doing something for free. However freedom is not free and praise is given to those who serve to keep that freedom. So regardless of political affiliations and beliefs, remember we live the greatest country in the world. Thank a soldier today – whether he or she is on active duty or retired. The singer was Janis Joplin; the song Me and Bobby McGee, written by Kris Kristofferson. Factoid – did you know Joplin and Kristofferson are from Texas?

Monday, June 30, 2014

It’s a scholarship pageant? Can’t you people in Florida count? This is not the first time your state miscounted. Due a scoring error that was later caught in the audit, the wrong person was crowned Miss Florida. So some brave soul had to go to her house and take away her sash, scepter, and HER CROWN. Oh yeah, also her scholarship money. If I had the job of taking those items, I would have taken a couple of martial arts experts, a college lineman and a blow torch. Because beauty queens will not give up their crowns for any reason, especially if they are not the one who caused the situation to begin with. She got to wear the crown, et al, for five days before the counting error was discovered. Then she had to give it up to the First Runner Up and she became FRU, which contain two of the four letters she is probably thinking. If I were her, I would demand a recount to see how many chads were hanging versus how many chads were punched. Worked before. And if that still does not work, send it to the Supreme Court. It seems the inability accurately keep score is pervasive. Miss Delaware had her crown yanked due to a miscalculation. She was over the age limit. The beauty queen organization is not going to achieve world peace if the judges cannot count. Perhaps a little more scholarship is needed for the judges.

June 27, 2014

Take the Last Train to Clarksville and I’ll Meet you at the Station… And the group who sang that song? Consider it Easy Friday because I know you are still working on yesterday’s assessment. So are most of the rational, intelligent people in the United States. It is the last Friday of the month of June. Six months from now we will be recovering from Christmas and preparing for the year 2015. Start shopping now to avoid the crowds. Get your identity stolen early. Speaking of identity. I am in need of pseudonymic nomenclature for my application to dance at the Silk Stocking Lounge. I believe the protocol for creating dancer names is that you take the name of your first pet and then the street name where you first lived. That would make me Nippy 149. Just does not ring out to me. So suggestions are welcome. It was pointed out to me that there is a distinct possibility that my G-String runneth over. It is not the G-String that concerns me. It is gravity. Most everything runneth down. Happy Friday. The Monkees.