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Lent – Day Twenty-Eight

Tuesday, April 1, 2014 – OK. I realize yesterday was short because it was late in the evening and I was mad at the referee, so today I will make it up by writing a 1000 word essay on The Psychological and Emotional Effects of Bracket Demolition during the Spring Equinox. April Fool! I am not writing 1000 words, but I will write a couple of hundred. Basketball has moved from highly intensive watching to a mild interest. I picked South Carolina to go to the Women’s Final Four. But the Gamecocks went limp and were beaten by North Carolina. That is not a forest fire in South Bend. That is the flames from the candles lit in prayer to the Patron Saint of Knees and ACLs of Notre Dame’s big girl. Now to the little round white ball that is dimpled and you hit it with a stick. Today was the Star Ranch Golf Club Ladies League end of winter season awards luncheon. This was my first year to play in a league. It is most humbling. I actually fell into the creek the first day I played in the league. I figured it could not get any worse than that. But today I was surprised to get two envelopes. Actually, I was surprised to get anything. One envelope says: Ringer 2nd Flight, 7th Place. I am pretty certain that is seventh out of seven of the worse group. But hey, my winnings for seventh place were $3.00. The other envelope says: 2nd Flight: Low Net – 3rd Place. And that envelope had $9.00 in it. So my winnings at Star Ranch so far total $12.75. I got the seventy-five cents on a chip into the hole once. I hope I do not lose my amateur status.

Lent – Day Twenty-Seven

Monday, March 31, 2014 – The End of the Good Old Baylor Line. For the Irish, Win One for the Gimpy! For the referee, You, whistle happy zebra, you wouldn’t know an offensive foul if it bit you in the ass. Where did you go to referee school? Saint Basketball School for The Blind? Even Rebecca Lobo and Kara Lawson couldn’t see fouls that you called. At least the other game had competent referees. The Aggies never lose. We just run out of time. Tonight, I think we needed a couple more years on the clock. When does football season begin? Speaking of football, have you seen Johnny Football in the McDonald’s commercial?

Lent Day – Twenty-Six

Sunday, March 30, 2014 – My apologies. It seems I spoke in cult language in yesterday’s entry. BTHO is an Aggie yell meaning Beat The Hell Outta. So BTHOUC! means Beat The Hell Outta UConn! May I suggest you adjust or clean your glasses? That last symbol is an exclamation point and not the letter “I.” That could account for the inability to figure it out. Our question for today is “What is the mascot or nickname of Stanford University?” It is my understanding that this question has won and continues to win drinks in bar bets. Therefore, it is critical to pay attention. If you said a dancing tree made from green cloth patches, you would be incorrect. The tree is the mascot of the Stanford Band. By the way, if you are the Tree, you have to make your own green patch outfit. If you said Cardinals, you would again be wrong. Many moons ago, the mascot was an “Indian.” It was dropped in 1972 which I am certain involved a protest. From 1972-1981, the official nickname was the Cardinals. During the 1970’s suggestions of nicknames included: Robber Barons in reference to founder Leland Stanford; Trees; just the plain kind I suppose; Sequoias; like who can spell that? Spikes; Huns and Griffins. Those were the names on the ballots. Can you imagine what did not make the list? The Inventors? The LSD Trippers? The Protestors? The Griffins seems to gain momentum in that two statues of Griffins were placed outside the athletic dorm. Finally, I guess the University president had had enough or did not like Griffins, but on November 17, 1981, he declared that athletic teams would be represented by the color cardinal in singular form. Stanford University has no mascot. Drink up!

Lent – Day Twenty-Five

Saturday, March 29, 2014 – What? You were expecting something BEFORE The Fighting Texas Aggie Women played DePaul? Dear DePaul, Welcome to the SEC. If you think our basketball teams are good, you should see us play football. Live by the 3-point shot; die by the 3-point shot. As I predicted Texas A&M plays UConn on Monday. And the Bears of Baylor play the Irish of Notre Dame. And who was the last team to beat Notre Dame and Little Miss Muffet? It was Kim’s Baylor Bears in December of 2012. Gonna be tough on the ND home court though. From the men’s bracket – Chomp. Chomp. Give those other teams some Gator Aid. I read a comment that someone’s son is arranging his entire schedule around the Final Four next weekend in North Texas. First, the announcers say the Final Four is in North Texas because nobody knows where Denton is. Second, I see nothing wrong with arranging one’s life around an athletic event. My family arranges their entire fall and spring schedules around athletic events and that could be just the games that are on television. So here’s to the Baylor Bears and the Texas Aggies. Make the state of Texas proud. BTHOUC! WHOOP!

Lent – Day Twenty-four

Friday, March 28, 2014 – And Then There Was None! No Big 12 basketball teams remain in The Tournament. My winner of Florida still holds as the teams move to The Elite Eight. Nevertheless, how many days until football season begins? Did you ever read Agatha Christi’s And Then There Were None? This was the novel I read in Senior English IV taught by Mrs. Wanda Traugh. The book was originally published in England in 1939 as Ten Little Niggers. Ouch. The American publication changed the poem, which serves as the theme, to Ten Little Indians. Hmm. Not much better. But the point is ten people die in a variety of ways as described in the poem Ten Little Indians until “there was none” leaving one to wonder in this great who done it of how it ends?” This book is one of the best-selling mystery novels of all time and one of the best-selling novels. When Mrs. Traugh ordered a class set of the novel for senior English, she was asked to justify the purchase. Her response was “Well, it is British and it will become literature.” Little did she know. As I said, there was a class set. One only got to read while in class. A careful count of the books was taken at the end of class to ensure no one slipped a copy out of class to finish. We were only allowed to read certain chapters and not allowed to skip ahead. One time, Mrs. Traugh realized that Larry the Firebird had read faster than then rest of us. She snatched the book from him and refused to allow him to read further. It is now that point in The Big Dance. All but eight have been eliminated. However, as in the novel, there is always one left.

Lent Day – Twenty-Three

Thursday, March 27, 2014 – 10:04 PM. Two hours before the day is over. On what day of the week were you born? Mondays child is fair of face, Tuesdays child is full of grace, Wednesdays child is full of woe, Thursdays child has far to go, Fridays child is loving and giving, Saturdays child works hard for his living, And the child that is born on the Sabbath day is bonny and blithe, and good and gay. In the new version, the Sabbath child is happy and wise instead of bonny and blithe and good and gay. I was born on Thursday and I had far to go today. That is why this is late. Did you know that Wednesday of The Addams Family was named because of the poem? Do you recall this mnemonic device to teach children the days of the week? Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday, Christened on Tuesday, Married on Wednesday, Took ill on Thursday, Grew worse on Friday, Died on Saturday Buried on Sunday. That was the end, Of Solomon Grundy. And that’s the end of Day Twenty-Three!

Lent Day Twenty-Two

Lent Day Twenty-Two – Wednesday, March 27, 2014 – Captain’s Log – Somewhere in the galaxy a large cube of technology moves through space. “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.” That is the Borg by-line from Star Trek – The Next Generation and the television series Star Trek Voyager. Actually, that is a paraphrase of the actual phrases used by The Borg. The Borg is a collection of species that have been turned into cybernetic organisms functioning as drones of the Collective, or the hive. Of course the Borg were part human and mostly machine. The Borg fed on data streams. If you were assimilated and assimilation was not optional, there was no turning back. Except of course if you were Captain Picard. I am feeling assimilated today because at the gym, I had a small IPod Nano and a Fit Bit. The IPod was clipped to my shirt, with ear plug listening devices and the Fit Bit around my wrist. Counting the artificial lens in the right eye, I had three technological enhancements. The lens and Fit-Bit are receiving data while the IPod is giving data in the form of music. When I synced my Fit-Bit to my computer, I visualized the Borg plugging themselves into a charging socket. This was their sleep pattern. So far today I have taken 7619 steps that come to 3.38 miles. With 37 “very active” minutes, I burned 1289 calories. I exercise to avoid various other body part replacements. Now I must be assimilated and go take a nap. Resistance is futile.

Lent – Day Twenty-One

Lent – Day 21 – Tuesday, March 25, 2014 – “You forgot your flash drive; you forgot your flash drive; you forgot your flash drive.” From The Big Bang Theory, when Sheldon forgets his flash drive with his presentation on it. You have to watch it. But in reality – “I just washed my flash drive; I just washed my flash drive; I just washed my flash drive.” Or perhaps “I just dried my flash drive in the dryer.” On the positive side, Mrs. Lincoln, all of your blue jeans are clean, dried, folded and put away. After a thorough search of all of the jeans’ pockets and the laundry appliances, it appears the flash drive has run away with the sock. You know how laundry appliances are. You are certain you load two socks, but only one is in the appliance when the cycle ends. I suspect there is a black hole that swallows items just to make us crazy. So, “I just lost my flash-drive; etc.” I am not concerned about the contents, because after all, it is a flash drive, but it was the big flash drive. Oh well, as they say, it is now gone in flash. Groan. Bouncing around again, congratulations to the Baylor Bears – all of them, for reaching the Sweet 16! The men’s team is the only team left in the tournament from Texas. On the women’s side, hope still floats with Texas and the Fighting Texas Aggies and Baylor. Unfortunately, Baylor must go to South Bend. I wonder if ND has a Three-point, Jesus, like they have a Touchdown Jesus. While we must not get ahead of ourselves (read: Kentucky (Baylor) and DePaul (Texas A&M)), it could be the Catholics and the Baptists and the Huskies and the Aggies in the Elite Eight. I am lost for a conclusion, so feel free to make one up.