Category Archives: Uncategorized

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Political Commercials – May I Have the Election Results Please?

Wendy Davis and Greg Abbott, Leticia Van De Putte and Dan Patrick. The Final Four of Texas Politics. May I have the election results, please?

ISIS, Ebola, Tsunami, Obama, Gloom, Despair, Agony, Immigration, Obamacare, Hurricanes, Floods, Toenail Fungus, Baldness, Boils and Irritable Bowel Syndrome

In 30 seconds list as many buzz words as you can that create fear, yet have little, if anything to do with the people seeking political office to run the state of Texas. This seems to be the tactic used by all candidates. It should be known as Rovian Tactics, so named after Karl Rove, whose method is character assassination by association.

My favorite ad is “Wendy Davis is just like Obama.” Yep, blond, white woman and a skinny black man and then lots of inaccuracies and out of context video clips. Just a futuristic question to the GOP – who do you have, besides another Bush in the bush?

Wendy Davis was pretty much handicapped by Abbott’s wheelchair, but records show he did argue against the Americans With Disabilities who were asking to put a ramp entrance to the courthouse. This is the same ramp he uses to get to work every day.

Dan Patrick can link his opponent to a terrorist group by saying “immigration and border control.” If ISIS were to invade the United States via the Texas border, all those gun toting people in the Rio Grande Valley would start shooting and ISIS would be gone before they got to Cotulla.

And Greg Abbott? Your mother-in-law? Really? Your marriage into a Hispanic family does not make you Hispanic.  Where is your wife? Do you even speak Spanish?

Leticia Van De Putte– an extremely smart, level headed woman who is experienced and maintains a voice of reason in a sea of chaos, also known as the Texas Legislature.

Well, Texas will just roll along with a Perry clone, moving closer to the Blues Brothers named Castro. Oh wait, their grandmother was an illegal immigrant. Never mind.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 – My Halloween Costume

I realize Halloween is still 10 days away, but it is time to put up the Christmas decorations. So get those shelves cleared for the wreaths. I have never been fond of Halloween. People dress like scary things, go to the events such as haunted houses to be scared, and costumed children come to your house where you supply them with candy to add to the childhood obesity issue. The day used to be just that – a single day. Now it is one of the four holiday seasons selected and grown by economically minded corporations.  So I will just sit at home and maybe watch and dance to the Thriller video with Michael Jackson. But If I were to dress up for Halloween, I would go as Condoleezza Rice. She is a classical pianist. She is a lawyer, who served as a presidential advisor and is now a law professor at Stanford. She is a female inaugural member of Augusta National Golf Club, home of The Master Golf Tournaments and she is on the Selection Committee for the NCAA college foortball playoff. But I somehow do not think anyone would understand my costume if I dressed in a Brooks Brothers suit and applied dark brown make up to my face and wore a black wig. People would think I was Queen Latifa and she is really not even a queen. So it’s back to the video. “Cause this is THRILLER…”

Monday, October 20, 2014

I do not know if A&M has a traditional song when they get the crap beat out of them, but if it did it might begin with “As we descend into another season of mediocrity; we search for words to describe how the wheels fell off the bus…” I have three college degrees, enough certifications to paper a small room and an online Thesaurus, and I have no words for the Disaster in Tuscaloosa.  However, We are the Aggies; the Aggies are we.

So on to the Monday after Saturday College Football Awards – Week 8.

And Then There Were Four Award goes to Florida State, Marshall, Mississippi State and Ole Miss for being the remaining undefeated teams.  Let’s go Marshall.

The Point Award goes to Kansas State for blocking the point after attempt and winning by a single point against OU and taking the lead in the Big 12.

The Guns-up Award goes to Texas Tech because their leading receiver was injured in an off campus shooting.

The Get a Kicker Award goes to Oklahoma for missing two field goals and having an extra point blocked and falling from title contention in the Big 12.

The Come on Baby Light My Fire Award goes to West Virginia University for beating Baylor and then causing street riots. “Morgantown (home of WVU) and WVU have been trying for years to end the long-standing tradition of setting fires to celebrate athletic victories.” This sounds like some hillbilly custom. I wonder what they do if WVU actually wins a title.

The Eye of the Tiger Award goes to Uncle Will Muschamp as the seat gets hotter at Florida.

The award for Astrological Sign of the Rising Star in the West goes to LSU.  Just in time to peak for Thanksgiving.

The Freddie Mercury Award for Another One Bites the Dust goes to the Baylor Bears with Honorable Mention going to Notre Dame.

The Forrest Gump Award for Stupid is as Stupid Does goes to Texas A&M for looking challenged on both offense and defense. Alabama even wore the same uniforms shown in FG.

But my favorite award this Monday goes to the refereeing crew for the Baylor/West Virginia.  The refs were recent graduates from the Hellen Keller School for Officiating and they said to the crowd at one point “Please stop throwing objects on the field.”   So the How Ironic and Keep the Yellow Flag in Your Pants Award goes to the referees for penalizing Baylor 18 times for a Big 12 record of 215 yards penalized.

Here’s to Peyton Manning for breaking the record by throwing 509 career touchdown passes.  Way to go, Peyton.  This puts him at the top of the list of the greatest quarterback icons to play the game of professional football.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

I broke my butt Monday at the gym. OK, I pulled my hamstring doing a high kick. Injured hamstrings result from a sudden movement such as a high kick. It seems Killer Queen decided I could do this exercise involving a giant, turquoise rubber band, a stool, and a chin up bar.  She wraps the rubber band over the chin up bar. While I am standing on the stool, she holds down the rubber band and I place my foot in it while holding on to the chin up bar with my hands.  Then I must step off of the stool. This has me hanging by one leg supported by the rubber band. Then I must put the other leg behind me and proceed to do 10 chin ups.  Believe it or not, I can do this and look very good doing it. However, it is the dismount, disband, and get out of the contraption that caused the hamstring pull. I stepped back on the stool, but forgot to wait for Killer Queen to hold down the rubber band to release my foot.  Therefore, my leg did an unexpected high kick and I pulled my hamstring – aka broke my butt. I am better today. I should start one of those contribution websites – Broken Butt Syndrome.